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Online Dating
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Otis Driftwood wrote: »In terms of being taller or smaller Dord?
Sorry, I should have clarified. I've seen a few who were saying that they are 6' or above. I've contacted a few only to discover that they're not or edit their profile shortly after my message to reduce the height. A recent example went down around 8" in height. (sounds durty! :pac:)stupidusername wrote: »hmmm.
i think i'm not girlie enough
Pssh! :pac:
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Have to admit I did do this! I'm really 6'1, but said I was 6', as sometimes tall women can be a bit off putting for men!Little white lie, to make me a bit more appealing.
Went on a second date with the okcupid guy, and we got on like a house on fire. He has suggested taking the profiles down, and Im just wondering If it might be a bit too soon to do that?
Haha, it's only 1" and you're rounding down.
You can disable your OKC profile instead of deleting. I've done that before. It saves you having to think of a new username and re-writing the whole thing should you need it again.
Personally I'd wait, it's only 2 dates in.0 -
Have to admit I did do this! I'm really 6'1, but said I was 6', as sometimes tall women can be a bit off putting for men!Little white lie, to make me a bit more appealing...
My sister is 5'11" < and by that, I mean 6'0" > so I understand your pain. Being 6'4" isn't an advantage to me either. In fact some girls have said I'm too tall for them. I've considered 'reducing' my height too.
You'd think I'd have all the tall women to myself but no such luck 0 -
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^ i felt like doing that last week (deleting profile) after the date didnt work out. Then decided to re-invent myself and profile. Date had told me my clothes were not sexy enough, so had to dig out a few photos which looked somewhat sexy. I mean seriously i dont wear skirts around my waist anymore, but if thats what men want on there....
Kinda crap seeing your date on the website everyday since your date, obviously looking for a replacement...just to rub it in.
I dont like lies. Its difficult enough as it is, being honest to get past the 1st date and get asked out for a 2nd date without throwing in a few unexpected lies about height, age etc. Even worse when they tell you they lie and dont change it on their profile.
As for the Boardsie who emailed me on POF....Im not replying, I asked...if you wont tell me who you are on here, then thats just unfair since you know who i am and somewhat creepy0 -
magneticimpulse wrote: »Date had told me my clothes were not sexy enough, so had to dig out a few photos which looked somewhat sexy. I mean seriously i dont wear skirts around my waist anymore, but if thats what men want on there....
Why on earth would you do that?
The dude doesn't like you in that way so why follow his advise to change your look and he was a twat for saying that about your clothes. If you don't like someone then fair enough you have to be clear with them but there's no need to make the person feel bad about themselves!
Just because it wasn't sexy for him it might be sexy to someone else.
If you don't want to wear short skirts around your waist then don't. There will be plenty lads who will like you for what you want to wear.0 -
ToniTuddle wrote: »Why on earth would you do that?
The dude doesn't like you in that way so why follow his advise to change your look and he was a twat for saying that about your clothes. If you don't like someone then fair enough you have to be clear with them but there's no need to make the person feel bad about themselves!
Just because it wasn't sexy for him it might be sexy to someone else.
If you don't want to wear short skirts around your waist then don't. There will be plenty lads who will like you for what you want to wear.
I agree! Some guys just like the dolly bird type of girl but that does not mean you should pretend to be like that if your not.
You should have changed your photo showing you wearing clothes you normally wear not the opposite!
magneticimpulse the guys sounds very rude and immature. But maybe you should go for guys your own age. I remember you said you only go for younger guys (possibly on a different thread) and with younger guy you obviously will get immaturity!0 -
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Have to admit I did do this! I'm really 6'1, but said I was 6', as sometimes tall women can be a bit off putting for men!Little white lie, to make me a bit more appealing.
Went on a second date with the okcupid guy, and we got on like a house on fire. He has suggested taking the profiles down, and Im just wondering If it might be a bit too soon to do that?
thats a shame because im 6f4 and id like a tall woman and when i do search for women online(jaysus that makes me sound pervy:pac:)i search for someone tall enough,in saying that im not heightist and id gladly see a 5 foot girl......forever alone lol 0 -
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magneticimpulse wrote: »Well its not changing myself. I think they like to date the "24" year old me, the me who did wear short skirts around my waist when I was 24. There are so many attractive women on these dating websites....you got to "sell yourself" somehow.
I feel yeah, catch a wide audience. But its true, when I was my "30" something me, in conservative clothes I was attracting more normal guys. As soon as i put up the showing of flesh, ive been attracting alot more weird, rude guys.
Yeah they prob are useless plebs. But where to start? Theres just so many, and not possible to date everybody on there. Argh its becoming so overwhelming for me.
Im just thinking it be better to meet a guy in a club who has a similar interest. I mean Im sure Im writing off so many nice guys on the site and going for the 6 pack womanisers what have you (sure i try to avoid them)....but you know what i mean. Im sure there are plenty of guys, who in real life would be more suitable to me?
I dont know. Its all getting too much like applying for a job interview. Actually Im spending far too much time changing my profile then I am actually replying to emails.
If you are constantly changing your profile and decide that you are going to put up pictures of yourself wearing clothes you dont normally wear - ie short skirts or what ever - then arent you being completly false?
When looking at profiles and I see a woman wearing a ridiculously short skirt or say a low cut top with the boobs nearly on show I automatically skip them.
Why?
Cos it smacks of attention seeking,pure and simple and they are invariably there to get their egos massaged.
You will get countless mails from the blokes most women want to avoid ie men just looking for a quick ride and thats all.Wearing provocative or revealing clothes sends a message (whether its false or not) that you are gamey and alot of men will latch on to this and message you for that reason alone.Do you honestly want that kind of attention?
As for always changing your profile.In my most recent foray into online dating(lasted approx 3 months) I put up my profile on day one and did not change it one iota for the duration.I had no pictures on public yet I still got a modest amount of mails and met some really nice people.Grand,nothing major came from or will come from anyone Ive met but Ive made what I would consider to be new friends and we still drop eachother the occasional text or facebook message.
Put up your profile and be as honest as you can.Humility goes a long way.Im basing this on some of your posts on this thread but you come across as being a little bit conceited.Now I say this not to make you feel bad,or to have a go,but to try and make you realise that you should prehaps dial it down a notch.Dont go all guns blazing with "Im this that and the other so I expect x y and z",ya know?
I hope this doesnt cause you any offence because that genuinely isnt my intention.If I have offended you then please accept my apologies.
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Otis Driftwood wrote: »If you are constantly changing your profile and decide that you are going to put up pictures of yourself wearing clothes you dont normally wear - ie short skirts or what ever - then arent you being completly false?
When looking at profiles and I see a woman wearing a ridiculously short skirt or say a low cut top with the boobs nearly on show I automatically skip them.
Why?
Cos it smacks of attention seeking,pure and simple and they are invariably there to get their egos massaged.
You will get countless mails from the blokes most women want to avoid ie men just looking for a quick ride and thats all.Wearing provocative or revealing clothes sends a message (whether its false or not) that you are gamey and alot of men will latch on to this and message you for that reason alone.Do you honestly want that kind of attention?
As for always changing your profile.In my most recent foray into online dating(lasted approx 3 months) I put up my profile on day one and did not change it one iota for the duration.I had no pictures on public yet I still got a modest amount of mails and met some really nice people.Grand,nothing major came from or will come from anyone Ive met but Ive made what I would consider to be new friends and we still drop eachother the occasional text or facebook message.
Put up your profile and be as honest as you can.Humility goes a long way.Im basing this on some of your posts on this thread but you come across as being a little bit conceited.Now I say this not to make you feel bad,or to have a go,but to try and make you realise that you should prehaps dial it down a notch.Dont go all guns blazing with "Im this that and the other so I expect x y and z",ya know?
I hope this doesnt cause you any offence because that genuinely isnt my intention.If I have offended you then please accept my apologies.
I am humble in person. Its why finding someone in real life would be more successful I think in my situation. Online I like to rant and be brash. Its an opportunity for my alter ego to come out. In saying that, I dont think people should put themselves down either. I think its good to be confident and know what you want. I have an idea what I want...so thats a start. I think with online dating, you have to have that idea of what sort of person works.
As for the looks...well as other people said they jazz up their profiles or tweak things. Like change their height etc.
My background is very geeky, and i realise there are very few people on there with similar education as me. I mean being realistic online dating will never work out if thats the case. I just click so well with guys who are at the same level of education/subject as myself. So ive adjusted my profile to look abit more like guys could relate to me? Thats for the moment, im sure I'll change it again in a few days. Im very open to meeting guys of all education levels, but I find the ones who are not at my level have a chip on their shoulder about it....thats been my response so far from guys. Im sure not everyone would have a problem about it. But I find geeky guys prob are more suited to me then say bankers or whatever. Otherwise I will clash with them.
Like that I cant change who I am. Guys get intimidated by what I do. It puts alot of guys off unfortunately. I think I mentioned before in another thread I pretended to be an Air Hostess and got a better response from guys then what I actually do.This.
You might as well keep a profile that represents you the way you are and wait for someone who is interested in who you are. There is no point in trying to deceive people into thinking you are someone else. It attracts people who aren't suited to. What's the point? They'll cop on pretty quickly once they meet you.
But all the photos are photos of me. I want to represent me as a whole. In a broad spectrum. Like I said, im tied up being geeky at the moment, but doesnt mean im that person all the time. It just so happens ive been studying alot at the moment. As soon as I finish that in the next month or so, ill be back to wearing the short skirts etc. Its just the country I live in is very conservative, but im not conservative. I adapted myself to fit in here and its not a true representation of who i am? If that makes sense.
So sure its not a representation of me at this exact moment, but thats only because I cannot dress the way I like to dress in this country...it would attract the wrong attention. Depending on the country Im in, dictates what clothes I wear. So when I lived in England, I pretty much could wear what I liked and nobody cared.
I mean out on the date last week in Dublin, I couldnt stop starring at how short the girls skirts were. In fact it might not have been good that I pointed these out to my date. But I am so used to being covered up and wearing dark clothes like a French girl. Im not really French...ive just become French, because I had to fit in when living in that country. I think am far too conservative at the moment for Irish guys. I think they do expect abit more boobs and something to be attracted to!! Its sad to say, but I dont think Irish men like the French version of me.
In France im the endearing, risky, lovely Irish girl who is not stuck up like other french women and doesnt have so many expectations from men as a partner.
In Ireland im the conceited annoying conservative person who might come across as too stuck up and have too many expecatations from men??
im caught between the 2 cultures, abit like dr.jekyl mr.hyde 0 -
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cantdecide wrote: »My sister is 5'11" < and by that, I mean 6'0" > so I understand your pain. Being 6'4" isn't an advantage to me either. In fact some girls have said I'm too tall for them. I've considered 'reducing' my height too.
You'd think I'd have all the tall women to myself but no such luck
The guy I went on my okcupid date with was 6'3, which was great for lanky me!I suspect he's really 6'4 though as he's at least 2 inches taller than me. I think theres a lot of rounding down amongst the tall community on dating websitesilovesleep wrote: »I have a profile on a dating site. Didn't use it really until recently. Logged on. There was a message in my inbox. I replied. We messaged for about 2 days, then decided not to draw it out and just meet. So we are meeting saturday. we have a place and time booked. Now that saturday is coming to a near, although excited, I am dreading it and have so much butterflies in my tummy - HELP.
We got on very well all week by pm, message, email, and calling. We just seem to click. Its weird.
What do I talk about?
What if work demands too much of my time like always and I turn up tired and like a dirtbag. So so nervous.
As someone said earlier, go into the date with zero expectations, with the focus being on having a fun time rather than meeting someone special. Just be yourself and let conversation flow naturally. You already have the dating website in common so it can be interesting and funny to hear about their good and not so good experiences from it.
Oh and dress casual in something that feels comfortable!0 -
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