Online Dating

boredatwork82

I initially signed up for POF because apparently there was a married old lad in work on it, and he was chatting up a young one who worked with us who was friends of mine, she told me about him!I had to check it for myself!
Anyways I kept my profile open so as to lurk, been lurking for years but never really did anything about it. I was bored at work today so downloaded the POF app, and browsed, and got 2 messages, one which seems promising.
I may have to become an active participant in online dating! Although I have only ever been on 2 dates sober in my life, one was good, one was a disaster - this new mission ( should I choose to accept it) has the potential to provide a few hilarious disaster date stories for after hours threads at my expense!

That_Guy

boredatwork82 wrote: »

been lurking for years but never really did anything about it. I was bored at work today so downloaded the POF app, and browsed, and got 2 messages, one which seems promising.

boredatwork82

That_Guy wrote: »

Honestly I was Boredatwork today, but I am going to be frank with you

premierlass

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

Get messaging - girls get so many messages I doubt they have to message first anything like as much as men do.

Don't make your title "Hi", "Hello", or anything generic, make it stand out for the right reasons.
<snip>

This is sage advice. I would only add, don't use cheesy pickup lines. They go over even less well on screen than in person.

From a woman's perspective, I'd like to back up the advice not to take it personally if you don't get an answer. I'd be willing to estimate that most women of a certain age on dating sites are inundated with mail. I'm no catch (I mean using the more shallow criteria of dating sites; of course I've got a great personality :rolleyes:) but even I have more mail than I can deal with sometimes. I try to answer all but the obvious creeps, but even so some slip under the radar.

The Quiver feature on OKC is quite handy when you don't want to be bothered with looking through 200 search results.

billy the squid

that quiver thing can be a load though too. some of the people that it picks havent been even on the site for ages.

As to the messaging thing, it can be a little disheartening when you messaged loads of people and not a single one replies. even a read receipt would be something.

cyrusdvirus

The read receipt is even worse!!

That way you KNOW she read your mail and decided you are not even worth the courtesy of a response.



That's why I'm taking a break from the sites. Same people online all the time, and even for a fairly self confident bloke with a fair bit going for me a lack of replies gets disheartening after 2 months of a lot of mails, each one crafted for that particular lady taking note of her interests etc, and they still don't reply.

Cue GC taking a wee break and watching from the sidelines, fully confident that some of the women who thought i wasn't worth a reply will STILL be hanging around the same sites looking for the dream man when i come back, and will still be in the same boat as me!

stargazer 68

gatecrash wrote: »

The read receipt is even worse!!

That way you KNOW she read your mail and decided you are not even worth the courtesy of a response.

Think when they just look at your profile and then dont even read the mail is worse!! Ah well their loss etc etc :rolleyes:

cyrusdvirus

Dovies wrote: »

Think when they just look at your profile and then dont even read the mail is worse!! Ah well their loss etc etc :rolleyes:

Ah no. The "look at the profile, decide you are not meeting my exacting physical characteristics" and THEN deleting the mail is not as bad in my opinion. It's exactly as you said, that's a case of their loss.

The "Look at your profile, decide the pic doesn't meet the exacting physical characteristics, but read the mail anyway cos you might not be totally shallow, then not respond to the mail, anyway" person is worse!!

zuroph

that first one that I started talking to last week and then after one reply each she disappeared...last night I mailed again asking if it had been something I said, for future reference. She replied that she had been very busy and totally slipped her mind, apologised, and we had a great chat

billy the squid

I have gotten the read receipt facility activated on POF. Am feeling better now.

Misticles

billy the squid wrote: »

I have gotten the read receipt facility activated on POF. Am feeling better now.

Nifty that is. Shame they started charging for it!

premierlass

billy the squid wrote: »

that quiver thing can be a load though too. some of the people that it picks havent been even on the site for ages.

As to the messaging thing, it can be a little disheartening when you messaged loads of people and not a single one replies. even a read receipt would be something.

I haven't had that problem yet with Quiver; I suppose I'm lucky.

No replies at all is awful. I've sometimes had better luck with the subscription sites. Some will give you a discount on membership as an incentive once you've been used their unpaid version for a couple of months. They're too expensive for me to use long-term though.

To be honest I hate having to use dating sites. It can bring out the worst and shallowest in people.

2 Miles From Narnia

gatecrash wrote: »

fully confident that some of the women who thought i wasn't worth a reply will STILL be hanging around the same sites looking for the dream man when i come back

That thought is so Utterly Feckin' Depressing! I think I need to give myself some sort of mental deadline to delete my profile, I really don't want to be that person who people think "oh look, she's STILL here". :pac:

billy the squid

premierlass wrote: »

I haven't had that problem yet with Quiver; I suppose I'm lucky.

No replies at all is awful. I've sometimes had better luck with the subscription sites. Some will give you a discount on membership as an incentive once you've been used their unpaid version for a couple of months. They're too expensive for me to use long-term though.

To be honest I hate having to use dating sites. It can bring out the worst and shallowest in people.

I only used one paid site, Match.com and it was crashy and rubbish, and they snaked a renewal subscription without even asking. the selection of people on it was limited also.

There is a sertain "unclean" feeling about using them.

billy the squid

2 Miles From Narnia wrote: »

That thought is so Utterly Feckin' Depressing! I think I need to give myself some sort of mental deadline to delete my profile, I really don't want to be that person who people think "oh look, she's STILL here". :pac:

Am of the same belief. have only been using the two free ones a couple of weeks and am already fed up of not getting any replies. Think I will give these up soon enough if nothing happens.

Napper Hawkins

gatecrash wrote: »

Ah no. The "look at the profile, decide you are not meeting my exacting physical characteristics" and THEN deleting the mail is not as bad in my opinion. It's exactly as you said, that's a case of their loss.

The "Look at your profile, decide the pic doesn't meet the exacting physical characteristics, but read the mail anyway cos you might not be totally shallow, then not respond to the mail, anyway" person is worse!!

That bothers the hell out of me, I get plenty of responses on OKC but practically nothing on Pof.

I see they viewed my profile yet couldn't be holed responding, on OKC for some reason, if a girl isn't interested I'll normally get a "thanks but no thanks" kinda response which is also rare because most women I message are actually up for the chat. Which is fair enough. Po ****ing F though...rrrrr...

Sorry PoF girls, He man is out there but he's only looking for She-Ra and you ain't her

Maguined

Just got an email from OKC saying person X is "checking you out right now!" and that I should go check her out because apparently we are a "exceptionally good match" despite the fact we are only 75% Match, 75% Friend and 27% Enemy by their calculations.

This isn't a quiver match so I wonder how they calculate this out or do they just throw any randomer who looks at your profile. Anyone know how this is calculated?

KyussBishop

Gah...a bit rude to be in a long ongoing conversation with someone, which had lulled for a while but they reinitiated, then deleting their profile without word.

stargazer 68

KyussBishop wrote: »

Gah...a bit rude to be in a long ongoing conversation with someone, which had lulled for a while but they reinitiated, then deleting their profile without word.

Welcome to the world of online dating!! :rolleyes:

ecoli

Well managed to get through my date have to say wasn't getting my hopes up but was pleasantly suprised. Got on well and one the rare times when a photo on one of these sights didnt do them justice.
Another date next week so seem to have made a good impression so far

2 Miles From Narnia

Got a date tonight, wish me luck! My expectations aren't too high but I reckon that's a good thing because in the past I've managed to build up things in my head that don't live up to it.

ecoli

2 Miles From Narnia wrote: »

Got a date tonight, wish me luck! My expectations aren't too high but I reckon that's a good thing because in the past I've managed to build up things in my head that don't live up to it.

Just relax and have fun remember the other person has already said yes going on your pictures and talking to you so the hard work is done. You dont need to impress but rather just be yourself.
Worst case there is no spark you are not committed to seeing them again so just see how it goes

zuroph

nothing more upsetting than sending a message, logging in, seeing they're online, and have looked at your profile, but no reply. Damn it, time to change the profile again

Otis Driftwood

Jerrica wrote: »

So I've reactivated my OKC account after a few months of no activity and I'm here for moral support How terrible should I expect it to be?!!?

If yer a bloke be prepared to be ignored.

If yer a woman be prepared to be inundated with messages.


:pac:

Otis Driftwood

It does tend to result in more attention alright.

Ah its not as bad as I make out above really.Just dont take it personally and you will be grand.

Kevin Duffy

I have a theory I'm curious about; let's see how the replies to online dating emails rise after the double-bill of The Good Wife is over :pac:

amandaf675

And Its back to online dating for me haha That replationship lasted a whole week hahahaha

billy the squid

Exchanged a few messages with someone in the early hours of yesterday morning, since then diddly. had one unread/delete too haha

we shall soldier on...

Galvasean

I'm off on one of these date things today.
AAAAAND the weather is turning bad after a wonderful week. Blergh

stargazer 68

Galvasean wrote: »

AAAAAND the weather is turning bad after a wonderful week. Blergh

All the more reason to cheer yourself up with a hot date!