Online Dating

cyrusdvirus

MrsStuffings wrote: »

Ugh,my goodness do none of you feel any shame for using online dating?

No disrespect, but it seems slightly pathetic?!

no intent to offend, i just dont understand the concept, what's so wrong with going to a club and buying a nice lady like myself a few drinks and getting to know her that way?!

Probably because a nice lady wouldn't come on here looking down her nose at people who DO use it

stargazer 68

MrsStuffings wrote: »

Ugh,my goodness do none of you feel any shame for using online dating?

No disrespect, but it seems slightly pathetic?!

no intent to offend,

But you will anyway!

Misticles

MrsStuffings wrote: »

Ugh,my goodness do none of you feel any shame for using online dating posting this comment?

No disrespect, but it your mindframe seems slightly pathetic?!

no intent to offend, i you clearly just dont understand the concept, what's so wrong with going to a club and buying a nice lady like myself a few drinks and getting to know her that way chatting to people online and building a rapport with them, then perhaps meeting up if both parties seem interested?!

going to a club and buying a nice lady like myself a few drinks and getting to know her that way

Is this the 1950's? :rolleyes:

Jeez, if you have no interest in internet dating or cannot grasp why anyone would use that over meeting people in a club, reserve your judgement!

No intent to offend of course :cool:

cyrusdvirus

Misticles wrote: »

Is this the 1950's? Do you want them to take you to the "dance" too? :rolleyes:

Jeez, if you have no interest in internet dating or cannot grasp why anyone would use that over meeting people in a club, reserve your judgement!

No intent to offend of course :cool:

Nice Sneaky edits there misty but i'd doubt we'll be seeing Mrs Stuffy around these here parts again..... sounds too like a troll to be real.

Misticles

gatecrash wrote: »

Nice Sneaky edits there misty but i'd doubt we'll be seeing Mrs Stuffy around these here parts again..... sounds too like a troll to be real.

It really wouldn't surprise me if it wasn't a troll. Some people just are not open to doing things any other way than the norm!

cyrusdvirus

Misticles wrote: »

It really wouldn't surprise me if it wasn't a troll. Some people just are not open to doing things any other way than the norm!

Oh great... now even YOU'RE saying we're not normal!!! ;)

Misticles

gatecrash wrote: »

Oh great... now even YOU'RE saying we're not normal!!! ;)

we are very much normal!

It is those that cast aspersions and think that the idea of online dating or the people who avail of it are "weird, pathethic..." or whatever word they want to use to describe it are at a loss.

We can see what's out there and not have a closed mind about things

liz2

ok guys, pics up or down? what are yer views? sorry now, ill have yer heads wrecked lol :rolleyes:
im not afraid to put my pic up but i just wondered, as a friend of mine had a strong argument about that. personally i think id have a better chance of being spotted :P
now in saying that, im also the type of gal that if i spot someone, ill mail him first if ur not in, u can't win lol

Misticles

liz2 wrote: »

ok guys, pics up or down? what are yer views? sorry now, ill have yer heads wrecked lol :rolleyes:
im not afraid to put my pic up but i just wondered, as a friend of mine had a strong argument about that. personally i think id have a better chance of being spotted :P
now in saying that, im also the type of gal that if i spot someone, ill mail him first if ur not in, u can't win lol

Upppp

I never mail people with no pics... I always wonder why they don't have it up? Something to hide etc...

Also on POF there is a setting to stop people mailing you if they don't have a picture. So to have such a setting in place would suggest that users with a picture up get more views than a profile with none.

cyrusdvirus

liz2 wrote: »

ok guys, pics up or down? what are yer views? sorry now, ill have yer heads wrecked lol :rolleyes:
im not afraid to put my pic up but i just wondered, as a friend of mine had a strong argument about that. personally i think id have a better chance of being spotted :P
now in saying that, im also the type of gal that if i spot someone, ill mail him first if ur not in, u can't win lol

Pics up.

It will get a lot more attention. Not all of it will be wanted, unfortunately, but the guy who you could potentially end up with, could skip on by without a pic.

Us blokes are ultimately quite shallow!! :P

Misticles

gatecrash wrote: »

Pics up.

It will get a lot more attention. Not all of it will be wanted, unfortunately, but the guy who you could potentially end up with, could skip on by without a pic.

Us blokes are ultimately quite shallow!! :P

So are some women... i.e ME

cyrusdvirus

To be honest Liz, there is nothing like that first glimpse at a pic that catches your eye... could just be a smile, a cheeky glint in the eye, anything.

Put yourself in the shoes of someone looking through the site, would you look at any profiles where there wasn't a picture up?

Hypothetical situation, you do a search, 100 matches. 75 of the matches have pictures. They're the ones that your eye will be naturally drawn to...

Otis Driftwood

MrsStuffings wrote: »

Ugh,my goodness do none of you feel any shame for using online dating?

No disrespect, but it seems slightly pathetic?!

no intent to offend, i just dont understand the concept, what's so wrong with going to a club and buying a nice lady like myself a few drinks and getting to know her that way?!

Given this users ban history in other forums since signing up Im just going to cut to the chase and ban her/him from here.It will undoubtedly save time in the long run.

cyrusdvirus

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Given this users ban history in other forums since signing up Im just going to cut to the chase and ban her/him from here.It will undoubtedly save time in the long run.

Awww.......... We were gonna have fun anti trolling the troll

Maguined

There is absolutely nothing shallow about wanting to see someones pictures in online dating. The entire point is to find someone you are compatible with and a big part of this is physical attraction so it makes sense to get that part out of the way with photos so then you can spend your time working out if your personalities are compatible as well.

It's not shallow, it's efficient and makes sense really.

cyrusdvirus

Maguined wrote: »

There is absolutely nothing shallow about wanting to see someones pictures in online dating. The entire point is to find someone you are compatible with and a big part of this is physical attraction so it makes sense to get that part out of the way with photos so then you can spend your time working out if your personalities are compatible as well.

It's not shallow, it's efficient and makes sense really.

I wasn't being entirely serious.

Maguined

gatecrash wrote: »

I wasn't being entirely serious.

I was not talking about your post at all, just the general idea that some people dislike putting up photos which is silly as physical attraction is an important part of a relationship.

Misticles

Some people often call people shallow for going by looks alone!

I wouldn't entertain anyone who I didn't think was hot, they could have the best personality in the world but as Maguined said about the physical attraction. It is a huge part in the success if a date, hence how putting your pic up is the best way forward for me.

From experience, it's awful after a lot of messages, thinking ye really wanna meet up, gettin on great etc then they produce the photo. It's not what you expected, then when you don't reply back or express disinterest you're the worlds worst.

liz2

thanks guys.. ya i agree with ye, the picture shud be a must first, as physical attraction or simply just wanting to know what ur potential date looks like wud be important
also, i just whiz past the profiles that dont have pics, for fear of what they may look like ( the shallow bit again :rolleyes: ) therefore possibly by-passing a potential :P
so yup, ive my pic up :eek:

Napper Hawkins

I've my pic up too. Honesty is the best policy I believe.

I'd rather someone decide whether they're into me or not from the beginning by looking at my photo.

Don't like the look of me? Fine, move on. Saves us both the mickeying about.

Having a photo also means that when someone does start talking to me I can reasonably assume that it's because they like the look of me.

I skip over non photo profiles and don't waste my time reading them. That said, if a profile with no pic messages me then I'll be nice about it, reply, but make it damn clear that I wanna see who I'm talking to from the beginning or that's where the conversation is gonna end.

And no it's most definitely not shallow.

stargazer 68

Pics up - and more than 1. I would reply to someone with no pic but I would never send the first mail to a faceless profile! Certainly wouldnt go out with anyone who hadnt got a pic or wouldnt mail one.

liz2

well ive applied the setting that if someone doesnt have a pic, then they cant mail me. save everyone the hassle :rolleyes:
when i first opened a profile a good while back, i got chatting to a guy, got on pretty well and then i was left with the 'wud i be too rude if i ask for a pic now'? anyways he did send one and i was like 'oh oh' :eek:
really no point building up a rapport with someone if u dont feel attracted to them initially. i know looks aren't everything but ye get what i mean

stargazer 68

liz2 wrote: »

when i first opened a profile a good while back, i got chatting to a guy, got on pretty well and then i was left with the 'wud i be too rude if i ask for a pic now'? anyways he did send one and i was like 'oh oh' :eek:
really no point building up a rapport with someone if u dont feel attracted to them initially. i know looks aren't everything but ye get what i mean

Oh yeah I know what you mean!! And people can say oh well you have been chatting and got on well so a pic shouldn't matter. Well sorry but it does - if I dont want to kiss you then Im not going to date you!! (Steps off soap box).

2 Miles From Narnia

Dovies wrote: »

Pics up - and more than 1. I would reply to someone with no pic but I would never send the first mail to a faceless profile! Certainly wouldnt go out with anyone who hadnt got a pic or wouldnt mail one.

Agree completely - on top of the other things mentioned earlier like wondering what they're hiding / if they're married etc is my Irish small-town mentality of being afraid they'd turn out to be people I know. I'm not as paranoid as I sound! I've come across the profiles of 4 different guys who I either know or at least recognise from the area or past jobs.

KyussBishop

Misticles wrote:

From experience, it's awful after a lot of messages, thinking ye really wanna meet up, gettin on great etc then they produce the photo. It's not what you expected, then when you don't reply back or express disinterest you're the worlds worst.

In fairness, after a lot of messages, if someone just stopped replying when the other person sent a pic that is quite rude.
It's not like the first message, where the receiver knows they're not interested in the first place (not replying there is fair enough); both of them have invested a fair bit of time chatting at that stage, and the disappointment for the ignored person will be greater.

Expressing disinterest there is fine; it's awkward sure, but it's only a small bit of effort to spare greater disappointment (especially if the other person will be waiting on a reply).

dceire

I started a few free accounts many months back and, after many fruitless months and a few temporary separations from the scene, I think I may have found someone who I actually would like to date.

We've sent a few messages back and fourth over the last week, pretty harmless chit chat and getting to know you kind of stuff. Anyway, I was wondering what the accepted etiquette is; should I ask for her number, facebook, or just straight up ask her out? Haven't really done any of this online stuff before.

As I said, it's been pretty harmless stuff so far but I do like the girl. Any ideas on how I should broach the subject?

billy the squid

I have pictures on the site but only make them availible to anyone asks for them. I have no problem people wanting to see photo, but I don't feel quite comfortable with absolutely everyone seeing it

If people want to skip past because there is no public image, then that is their loss.

I have had more responses with no photo and a semi decent write up, than I have had with a picture and a crap write up. most conversations ended when they were sent the picture though.

AnnyHallsal

dceire wrote: »

We've sent a few messages back and fourth over the last week, pretty harmless chit chat and getting to know you kind of stuff. Anyway, I was wondering what the accepted etiquette is; should I ask for her number, facebook, or just straight up ask her out?

I reckon just go for it - So, hey, fancy meeting up sometime - in whatever is your own style :P If she says yes then I'd exchange number/facebook, though some people do it the other way round. Definitely suggest soon. There seems to be a statute of limitations on people's interest once contact is made.

stargazer 68

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

I reckon just go for it - So, hey, fancy meeting up sometime - in whatever is your own style :P If she says yes then I'd exchange number/facebook, though some people do it the other way round. Definitely suggest soon. There seems to be a statute of limitations on people's interest once contact is made.

I agree. Get on with it before someone else does!

Hyperbullet

Have suspended my account for a while. Wasn't too happy with it, seems I was being stalked a little bit..

Might reopen it in a month and see how it goes.