Online Dating

AnnyHallsal

hollypink wrote: »

Oh yeah, forgot that episode He's not dead though unless they have broadband in heaven/hell cos I just logged into the dating site and he's online

There's a teeny tiny chance there was a mix up. Are you going to challenge him on it?

hollypink

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

There's a teeny tiny chance there was a mix up. Are you going to challenge him on it?

I don't think there was a mix-up tbh, and I texted him while I was waiting and no reply. No, I'm not going to challenge him, onwards and upwards, his loss

Misticles

I would!!

liz2

oh id def have to challenge him, the 'not knowing why' wud bug me if anything

AnnyHallsal

hollypink wrote: »

I don't think there was a mix-up tbh, and I texted him while I was waiting and no reply. No, I'm not going to challenge him, onwards and upwards, his loss

Fair enough. You tried to make contact, the reasonable thing to do. As Otis said, a lucky escape. Leaving someone wait like that is rude and mean.

Lord TSC

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

With regards to the messaging folks with no photos thing..

A girl I've been back and forth with the past couple weeks who has no photo just sent me a photo of herself to my email.

I have a big, stupid grin on my face now he he:D

See, the optamist in me says "Go on, send a message to the ones with no picture and no body description. Maybe they are doing that cause they worry they'll attract the wrong type of attention from horn dogs"

The realist in me says its more likely, 99 times out of 100, they know the picture will turn people away...

FewFew

I've just noticed something slightly awkward about our "go for a pint" culture (or maybe just me) ...

Recently started a new diet. Really enjoying it, losing loads of weight blah blah blah, but there's no alcohol allowed, for a few months at least.

I'm meant to be going out for a few drinks with a lovely lady off PoF, but now I'm kinda wondering if that'll be any fun. I'm just going to be sitting there, pint of water in hand, while she's getting the pints into her.

We're currently on a raincheck from a date a week or two ago, but I know she's not into anything on a first date other than some drinks as I've tried to suggest various other things.

I know I always feel weird drinking if no one else is, so, is drinks just an idea doomed to fail. Hmmm... certainly a thinker.

Also pretty sure she doesn't like tea or coffee. Fack.

Misticles

Fewcifur wrote: »

I've just noticed something slightly awkward about our "go for a pint" culture (or maybe just me) ...

Recently started a new diet. Really enjoying it, losing loads of weight blah blah blah, but there's no alcohol allowed, for a few months at least.

I'm meant to be going out for a few drinks with a lovely lady off PoF, but now I'm kinda wondering if that'll be any fun. I'm just going to be sitting there, pint of water in hand, while she's getting the pints into her.

We're currently on a raincheck from a date a week or two ago, but I know she's not into anything on a first date other than some drinks as I've tried to suggest various other things.

I know I always feel weird drinking if no one else is, so, is drinks just an idea doomed to fail. Hmmm... certainly a thinker.

Also pretty sure she doesn't like tea or coffee. Fack.

How about drinking non alcoholic beer and she wont know... means you'll be buying for the night

Samich

Young male here, I don't have a pic up due to a relative on it. I send long opening messages to girls. Alot don't reply. Alot just ask for a pic, not acknowleding the long message, I send a pic and ask them to reply even if it's just to say they're not interested.

Most say I'm not their type (basically you're not hot)

It really is all about looks.

Samich

What's even worse is I mail alot of women who don't have a pic up and they ask for a pic and I ask for one back and they don't reply at all.

Misticles

Samich wrote: »

Young male here, I don't have a pic up due to a relative on it. I send long opening messages to girls. Alot don't reply. Alot just ask for a pic, not acknowleding the long message, I send a pic and ask them to reply even if it's just to say they're not interested.

Most say I'm not their type (basically you're not hot)

It really is all about looks.

you need physical attraction for anything to work!

2 Miles From Narnia

Fewcifur wrote: »

I've just noticed something slightly awkward about our "go for a pint" culture (or maybe just me) ...

Recently started a new diet. Really enjoying it, losing loads of weight blah blah blah, but there's no alcohol allowed, for a few months at least.

I'm meant to be going out for a few drinks with a lovely lady off PoF, but now I'm kinda wondering if that'll be any fun. I'm just going to be sitting there, pint of water in hand, while she's getting the pints into her.

We're currently on a raincheck from a date a week or two ago, but I know she's not into anything on a first date other than some drinks as I've tried to suggest various other things.

I know I always feel weird drinking if no one else is, so, is drinks just an idea doomed to fail. Hmmm... certainly a thinker.

Also pretty sure she doesn't like tea or coffee. Fack.

Understand your dilemma, I have to admit to liking a bit of booze to calm the nerves. I was on a date recently where we'd arranged to meet in a pub but the guy decided last minute to drive in, so wasn't drinking. I didn't either then, as I believe equal sobriety levels are important on a first date! (or equal drunkeness levels, I had a 4 year relationship that started with a kiss when we were both completely legless, but that's wandering from the point a bit).

Meeting for coffee can be bit too quick to get to know someone - I presume you've tried suggesting a meal / trip to the zoo / gig etc? If drinking is a dealbreaker for her, it might not work out.

Congrats on the weight loss btw!

Howard the Duck

I think i posted on about page 5 of this thread and haven't been on it since! Just read the last 100 pages and it was pretty hilarious, think i might give okc a go, i was on pof and had no luck at all.
Well thats not true one girl replied to a message i sent her we chatted on msn and she invited me to her house that night! I didn't go and i don't regret it..she was kinda freaky and not in the good way.
I'll see how okc goes , at the very least it might give me some good stories to post here!

FewFew

Misticles wrote: »

How about drinking non alcoholic beer and she wont know... means you'll be buying for the night

NA beer won't cut it even. At the moment all I can drink is water and some herbal teas.

2 Miles From Narnia wrote: »

Understand your dilemma, I have to admit to liking a bit of booze to calm the nerves. I was on a date recently where we'd arranged to meet in a pub but the guy decided last minute to drive in, so wasn't drinking. I didn't either then, as I believe equal sobriety levels are important on a first date! (or equal drunkeness levels, I had a 4 year relationship that started with a kiss when we were both completely legless, but that's wandering from the point a bit).

Meeting for coffee can be bit too quick to get to know someone - I presume you've tried suggesting a meal / trip to the zoo / gig etc? If drinking is a dealbreaker for her, it might not work out.

Congrats on the weight loss btw!

Yeah, I've suggested gig, zoo, meal etc, but she seems pretty sure that the best way to kick off an online date is a few drinks.

Equal levels of sobriety is pretty key, I've been on dates where the girl got plastered and it just ruined the magic. I can put up with annoying drunken antics when I'm going out with someone, but on a first date it's a bit too much to put up with I find. Not that I think this date is likely to be a full night drinking session.

I don't think she comes across as a person who would refuse to date someone who wasn't drinking at the time, it's more the dynamic of the ever-so-fragile first date that has me hmmming and hawwing.

Samich

Misticles wrote: »

you need physical attraction for anything to work!

fml

Galvasean

MIN2511 wrote: »

Galv is that the girl from the Emergency Room?

Yes - romance shows up in the oddest places...

jenny111111

Samich wrote: »

Young male here, I don't have a pic up due to a relative on it. I send long opening messages to girls. Alot don't reply. Alot just ask for a pic, not acknowleding the long message, I send a pic and ask them to reply even if it's just to say they're not interested.

Most say I'm not their type (basically you're not hot)

It really is all about looks.

You're cutting down your options by having no pic, simple as some of us just wont reply, nothing to do with shallowness for many of us just no pic can be a big signaler of 'bad things' all of which have been mentioned here.

You probably wouldn't mail someone you weren't attracted to so I don't see why you expect the same in return. Everyone has different tastes, it could easily be something as simple as hair colour/build, not you're not hot - more like not my kind of hot.

Fewcifur wrote: »

Equal levels of sobriety is pretty key, I've been on dates where the girl got plastered and it just ruined the magic. I can put up with annoying drunken antics when I'm going out with someone, but on a first date it's a bit too much to put up with I find. Not that I think this date is likely to be a full night drinking session.
.

Have you told her about the diet? I would if you haven't already, I'm sure she'd understand why you're not so up for the drinks date if you said, there's plenty you can do other than going to the pub.
Well done on the dieting !


...

My news....when it rains it pours, chatting to a couple of guys at the moment, but two of them (seem to be) little jems, and i've even given one of them the awl facebook (a first). Can probably safely assume they'll all stop replying/turn into penpals soon enough.

stargazer 68

jenny111111 wrote: »

You probably wouldn't mail someone you weren't attracted to so I don't see why you expect the same in return. Everyone has different tastes, it could easily be something as simple as hair colour/build, not you're not hot - more like not my kind of hot.

.

Have to agree. You don't chat up every single girl (or guy) in the pub just the ones that you find attractive. Same goes for online dating. One persons attractive is anothers fugly!

ecoli

Fewcifur I can empathize with you. Heavily involved in sport and often this means i go spells without any drink which can be hard in this "live for the weekend" culture that has crept into Irish Society.
I would agree with the previous poster regarding being up front about it. Worst case try and arrange a day time date for the first one something casual where you are not put under any pressure that either of you will feel the need to have drink in the system to break the ice.
There are some who will no understand but the majority of women would see it as a positive quality that you are trying to improve your health and lifestyle.

Keep it up

FewFew

ecoli wrote: »

Fewcifur I can empathize with you. Heavily involved in sport and often this means i go spells without any drink which can be hard in this "live for the weekend" culture that has crept into Irish Society.
I would agree with the previous poster regarding being up front about it. Worst case try and arrange a day time date for the first one something casual where you are not put under any pressure that either of you will feel the need to have drink in the system to break the ice.
There are some who will no understand but the majority of women would see it as a positive quality that you are trying to improve your health and lifestyle.

Keep it up

Yeah, see I've been sober for long periods of time for sport and it was grand. Guess there's just something a bit wishy washy about doing it for weight reasons. I know people who seem to be on a new fad diet every week, so the words "I'm on a diet" still don't have any credibility to me, even though I'm fully commited to a pretty hardcore one. Odd how attitudes take a while to change.
Guess my plan of attack will be to ask her out on that date, and throw in a "btw I'll be on the water if that's cool with you... " etc. Ah sure it'll be grrrrand.

Galvasean

3 meet mes and a message from one log in. The snapping turtle's still got it! :pac:

Misticles

Galvasean wrote: »

3 meet mes and a message from one log in. The snapping turtle's still got it! :pac:

Sorry Galva, I messaged you by mistake

:pac:

Whats happening with you and this ER girl?

Galvasean

Misticles wrote: »

Sorry Galva, I messaged you by mistake

Just as well I didnt reply so :P

Misticles wrote: »

Whats happening with you and this ER girl?

Feh, she 'needs space' which seems odd considering we only met up 3 times in as many weeks (including the A&E incident) and hadn't seen each other for over a week as we were both away from Dublin.
Girls with irrational fear of commitment, who knew? :pac:

Galvasean

Galvasean wrote: »

3 meet mes and a message from one log in. The snapping turtle's still got it! :pac:

Make that 4 Meet Mes (sorry Misti, no means no!)

Must be my sexy body....

Misticles

Galvasean wrote: »

Just as well I didnt reply so :P



Feh, she 'needs space' which seems odd considering we only met up 3 times in as many weeks (including the A&E incident) and hadn't seen each other for over a week as we were both away from Dublin.
Girls with irrational fear of commitment, who knew? :pac:

Dammit, I paid for the privilige to see read+deleted

ugh! I'm only ever like that when I'm in a relationship!
Pah, keep hunting for prey on the sites

"You dont wanna meet by accident"..... Galva brings a whole new meaning to that :P

Why wont you give me a chance??? dammit Ill stalk you..............

....

Galvasean

So, whats this ULTRAmatch POF is bangin' on about now?

ecoli

Fewcifur wrote: »

Guess my plan of attack will be to ask her out on that date, and throw in a "btw I'll be on the water if that's cool with you... " etc. Ah sure it'll be grrrrand.

I wouldnt say Im on the water. Some could view this as being a penny scraper or something. Nothing wrong with an "Im off the drink/gargle/booze/ (any other name you prefer) at the moment though" or something like that dont have to go into specifics as long as she is aware you wont be drinking alcohol

LegacyUser

Hi there - must say i have spent all afternoon reading random posts on this tread its so funny.
So ive decided to give this online dating craic a go once more - I was on POF about 3 months ago and deleted my account after a week. Got chatting to a HOT guy then and we exchanged numbers and fb accounts and we have been chatting on and off for the last 3 months....i think he just wants to feed his ego cos there have been no indications of him wanting to meet up eventhough i suggest it-anyways this is beside the point.

stargazer 68

Galvasean wrote: »

So, whats this ULTRAmatch POF is bangin' on about now?

Well their normal matches are pretty rubbish so Im sure the Ultra Match will be Ultra Rubbish!

Samich

jenny111111 wrote: »

You're cutting down your options by having no pic, simple as some of us just wont reply, nothing to do with shallowness for many of us just no pic can be a big signaler of 'bad things' all of which have been mentioned here.

You probably wouldn't mail someone you weren't attracted to so I don't see why you expect the same in return. Everyone has different tastes, it could easily be something as simple as hair colour/build, not you're not hot - more like not my kind of hot.





Have you told her about the diet? I would if you haven't already, I'm sure she'd understand why you're not so up for the drinks date if you said, there's plenty you can do other than going to the pub.
Well done on the dieting !


...

My news....when it rains it pours, chatting to a couple of guys at the moment, but two of them (seem to be) little jems, and i've even given one of them the awl facebook (a first). Can probably safely assume they'll all stop replying/turn into penpals soon enough.

I think you missed my point. I do have a pic. I just have a relative on the site and don't want them to see me.

And I mail loads of girls without pics up and even send them pics first.

The amount of mails I send, I mail anyone who seems sound, pic or no pic. as long as they can spell and seem good craic and not a bimbo.