Online Dating

Kevin Duffy

JamesBond2010 wrote: »

Just want to Ask a Genuine Question..

Who finds some of the women a bit Stuck up on POF ??

(Some of them block you for no reason & ur only being nice to them)

I'd suggest that you need a thicker skin maybe. You also need to realise that women on PoF in particular get huge volumes of mail (a woman I was chatting to recently told me she got 200 mails in her first 24 hours), so there's no feasible way to answer every one of them, much less answer them nicely with an individual mail.

Also "only being nice" is very subjective, whay you say may sound fine to you, but may not be read the same way. If someone doesn't like what you say, I don't think you can jump straight from there to saying they're "stuck up".

JamesBond2010 wrote: »

ya was just wondering. i am used to it anyway. Some People are still shallow like that. ( must get a pic with George Clooney or David Beckham LOL )

If a woman isn't attracted to you, that doesn't mean she's shallow. Men and women are allowed to be attracted to whoever they want. I'm not attracted to all women, they're not all attracted to me, but there you go, we'll all keep going 'til we find what we want.

Galvasean

liz2 wrote: »

yup, the same happened to me yesterday
im not sure what to do. he looked totally different on pics on pof
its mad what pictures do to people alright.
im certainly not a shallow person, i just need to make sure i can feel attracted to them..it would only lead to embarrassment at the eventual meet-up otherwise. you'd only be wasting your time and theirs..

Happened a couple of times with me. I actually didn't recognise one girl when I met up with her! That was a bit embarassing.
A lot of people use seriously cropped/well lit/misleading angle pics on their profiles. Only themselves to blame when the proverbial hits the fan IMO. Sure use a picture that you look nice in, but jeebus it needs to represent what you actually look like!
I wouldn't be at all surprised if people were touching up their photos with after effects..


Okay, got a mad mail on POF today. It basically said along the lines of, "I'm [NAME]'s gay friend. She forgot to log out of her account. You should mail her. You're HOT!!"
Must admit that's a first.

billy the squid

JamesBond2010 wrote: »

Just want to Ask a Genuine Question..

Who finds some of the women a bit Stuck up on POF ??

(Some of them block you for no reason & ur only being nice to them)

I would concurr with that. though I have never to the best of my knowledge been blocked. If they don't reply then that is their loss.

billy the squid

liz2 wrote: »

yup, the same happened to me yesterday
im not sure what to do. he looked totally different on pics on pof
its mad what pictures do to people alright.
im certainly not a shallow person, i just need to make sure i can feel attracted to them..it would only lead to embarrassment at the eventual meet-up otherwise. you'd only be wasting your time and theirs..

I thought you ladies would stop replying on the basis of a photograph, now you are saying they are not that reliable?

py2006

JamesBond2010 wrote: »

Just want to Ask a Genuine Question..

Who finds some of the women a bit Stuck up on POF ??

(Some of them block you for no reason & ur only being nice to them)

There are a few divas on there alright! Typical Irish girl attitude!! If they don't find you attractive your a creep and the ignore/block you!

I was talking to a girl on it and she says that she doesn't reply straight away, she waits for a few days and in some cases will only respond if he mails her a second time!!

I think you will have more success on the paid ones!

MagicMarker

py2006 wrote: »

There are a few divas on there alright! Typical Irish girl attitude!! If they don't find you attractive your a creep and the ignore/block you!

I was talking to a girl on it and she says that she doesn't reply straight away, she waits for a few days and in some cases will only respond if he mails her a second time!!

I think you will have more success on the paid ones!

Nothing new really... I haven't sent a message to any women on OKC but I did get one myself the other night and it was no surprise to me that she wasn't Irish. Irish women just don't seem to do that very often/at all in my experience.

py2006

Yea I think a lot of people don't take the free ones too seriously!!

Do you recommend any others!! Thinking of taking my profile off POF

xxdilemmaxx

Match.com seems very good so far, I signed up for a month. It's a lot busier than OKC, lots of views/emails/winks so far so I would recommend it if you want to try a paid one

JamesBond2010

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

I'd suggest that you need a thicker skin maybe. You also need to realise that women on PoF in particular get huge volumes of mail (a woman I was chatting to recently told me she got 200 mails in her first 24 hours), so there's no feasible way to answer every one of them, much less answer them nicely with an individual mail.

Also "only being nice" is very subjective, whay you say may sound fine to you, but may not be read the same way. If someone doesn't like what you say, I don't think you can jump straight from there to saying they're "stuck up".



If a woman isn't attracted to you, that doesn't mean she's shallow. Men and women are allowed to be attracted to whoever they want. I'm not attracted to all women, they're not all attracted to me, but there you go, we'll all keep going 'til we find what we want.

i was talking about photos.how some women are shallow they see the photo & suddenly go o no i am not talking to you.but when i took down the photo the same women would talk away no bother till asked about photo.. I Only Said SOME people. others are grand.

JamesBond2010

xxdilemmaxx wrote: »

Match.com seems very good so far, I signed up for a month. It's a lot busier than OKC, lots of views/emails/winks so far so I would recommend it if you want to try a paid one

is match.com dear though. some are nearly up to 30e a month subscription.

parker kent

Galvasean wrote: »

Okay, got a mad mail on POF today. It basically said along the lines of, "I'm [NAME]'s gay friend. She forgot to log out of her account. You should mail her. You're HOT!!"
Must admit that's a first.

The scammers are getting more advanced :pac: I actually got something like that last year.

Larianne

py2006 wrote: »

There are a few divas on there alright! Typical Irish girl attitude!! If they don't find you attractive your a creep and the ignore/block you!

I was talking to a girl on it and she says that she doesn't reply straight away, she waits for a few days and in some cases will only respond if he mails her a second time!!

I think you will have more success on the paid ones!

We're not all like that you know.

MagicMarker wrote: »

Nothing new really... I haven't sent a message to any women on OKC but I did get one myself the other night and it was no surprise to me that she wasn't Irish. Irish women just don't seem to do that very often/at all in my experience.

Do what? Send messages? Every date I went on I had contacted the guy and all except one, I asked out.

I think you need to maybe lose the negative attitude towards Irish girls and get a thicker skin for online dating to work for you.

cyrusdvirus

Larianne's right.

Unfortunately, just because we might regard ourselves as decent catches, if a girl isn't attracted to us, just because we are attracted to them, doesn't mean they are stuck up, or have an attitude. It just means the same thing as if you got chatting to them in a bar and they made it clear that they weren't interested. It's nothing personal, it's just you are not what they want.

So go with the rhino skin option and get over it.

Oh, and personally speaking, give me an Irish woman any day.

MagicMarker

Larianne wrote: »

Do what? Send messages? Every date I went on I had contacted the guy and all except one, I asked out.

I think you need to maybe lose the negative attitude towards Irish girls and get a thicker skin for online dating to work for you.

I gave my opinion and very clearly stated it was based on my experiences and all of a sudden I have an attitude problem and need to get a thicker skin?

I have absolutely no problems with online dating and it's worked plenty of times for me in the past. In fact my last relationship was a result of online dating, ironically enough she wasn't Irish either, thanks all the same though.

py2006

Larianne wrote: »

We're not all like that you know.

.

I know! You are right!

Larianne

MagicMarker wrote: »

I gave my opinion and very clearly stated it was based on my experiences and all of a sudden I have an attitude problem and need to get a thicker skin?

I have absolutely no problems with online dating and it's worked plenty of times for me in the past. In fact my last relationship was a result of online dating, ironically enough she wasn't Irish either, thanks all the same though.

My response was to both posters who I quoted, yourself and Py2006.

To me, your post does come across negative towards Irish girls. Starting off with your reply to Py2006 saying "nothing new really". Maybe you don't have a negative attitude to Irish women, or maybe you do and don't know it and is why you only attract the foreign ladies.

MagicMarker

Larianne wrote: »

To me, your post does come across negative towards Irish girls. Starting off with your reply to Py2006 saying "nothing new really". Maybe you don't have a negative attitude to Irish women, or maybe you do and don't know it and is why you only attract the foreign ladies.

Who says I only attract foreign women? Essentially, all I said was that in my experience Irish women don't make the first move.

Larianne

MagicMarker wrote: »

Who says I only attract foreign women? Essentially, all I said was that in my experience Irish women don't make the first move.

oh, okay. I didn't get that from your post. I apologise. Thanks for clearing it up.

Samich

Any girl I like doesn't like me, oh well.

Maybe I'm way too picky. Don't think I could go out with someone I'm not attracted to though.

I don't think there's anything against girls saying on their profile

"Sorry if I don't reply guys, .......and give a few reasons why they didn't reply, (not their type, not enough in common, etc.)"

Makes the fellas stop wondering what the story is with regards getting a mail back.

Galvasean

Bah humbug. What's with girls saying they want to 'meet you' (on POF) or giving you a high rating on OKC so you are alerted to their interest...
Que sean mailing them, them replying once, message them back... then they bugger off...

Prick Date teases! :pac:

Larianne

So were there any dates this weekend??

Will

I log into okcupid and just update my journal really. Wasting my time I think but I keep it anyway cos I'm stubborn

edit - anybody just get american women looking at your profile? 9 of my last 15 visitors were from the states

cyrusdvirus

Larianne wrote: »

So were there any dates this weekend??

None for me anyway.

Won't be any next weekend either, minding my pennies.

LollieB

Had a 2nd date last week with guy from okc & have a third date planned for tomorrow Things going along nicely & he gives me the butterflies, which I haven't felt in AGES!

but absolutely zilch going on with the profile- no one contacting me & no responses from any emails I've sent out previously!

Snowie

I just spent some time, reading the past 12 pages or so, I've gotta say lads, man the fvck up seriously your taking it far to personally.. If a girl doesnt reply. It could be down to how you message the woman she may not like what she see's or reads this is acceptable.

If you can't get replies on a dating site, its genrally down to how you approach the woman and the fact your being far to serious...?

Its supposed to be fun.... Be cheeky be out of the box, if you think a woman wants you just because on okcupid yout a 89% match wow great but you have to get this womans attention from the other 99% of men who mail her on a daily basis.

I think the majority of you, don't... You play it safe, Well he who dares to be bold, suceeds the man who stands there quiet kicking him self because he hasn't the confidance to say some-thing cheeky never goes any were, and also quit listening to what your mother told you she was wrong!

I think you lads really need to, either get used to being single and enjoy it for what it is and not take your self to serously on a dating site...

/Rant

sorry if this cause's offence but its about time some one said the truth.

looky loo

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

I just spent some time, reading the past 12 pages or so, I've gotta say lads, man the fvck up seriously your taking it far to personally.. If a girl doesnt reply. It could be down to how you message the woman she may not like what she see's or reads this is acceptable.

If you can't get replies on a dating site, its genrally down to how you approach the woman and the fact your being far to serious...?

Its supposed to be fun.... Be cheeky be out of the box, if you think a woman wants you just because on okcupid yout a 89% match wow great but you have to get this womans attention from the other 99% of men who mail her on a daily basis.

I think the majority of you, don't... You play it safe, Well he who dares to be bold, suceeds the man who stands there quiet kicking him self because he hasn't the confidance to say some-thing cheeky never goes any were, and also quit listening to what your mother told you she was wrong!

I think you lads really need to, either get used to being single and enjoy it for what it is and not take your self to serously on a dating site...

/Rant

sorry if this cause's offence but its about time some one said the truth.

I think you mean thats the truth how you see it, from a womans perspective however, I wouldnt respond to a cheeky mail, I think most women would respond to someone taking the time to read their profile and referring to something she was interested in, in the mail.

Larianne

I get what you're saying Snowie. I think people have to remember that not everyone is going to be attracted to you or interested in the same things you are. That is just how life works. If you remember that, it helps stop you going crazy.

But starting out with online dating, it is quite confusing and it takes a while to get into the swing of it and figure out what works for you.

looky loo wrote: »

I think you mean thats the truth how you see it, from a womans perspective however, I wouldnt respond to a cheeky mail, I think most women would respond to someone taking the time to read their profile and referring to something she was interested in, in the mail.

See, I probably would respond to a cheeky mail. Different strokes for different folks and that is what is the beauty (or nightmare) of online dating.

Snowie

looky loo wrote: »

I think you mean thats the truth how you see it, from a womans perspective however, I wouldnt respond to a cheeky mail, I think most women would respond to someone taking the time to read their profile and referring to something she was interested in, in the mail.

I would say, you're wrong, who hell wants to have a serious conversation on a dating website isnt that what forums are for ?

I would also say that cheeky is only as good as the way you pull it off.
As we all know irish women love to laugh, its what they genrally like...

So your saying your more inclined to reply to some dull robotic attempt at first time communication......
Which to be honest I recon is complete crass why because if some one can make you laugh weather it being cheeky or just completely standing out from the crowd in a funny manor is going to win... This is not open for negotiation its a fact..

Why the hell would you reply to some one who makes a marginal effort, in having fun and says something dull and well robotic, last time I had this argurment with a girl she admitted in a pm that actually ,my way of approach was more fun and she would reply simply because of my sense of humor alone...

Galvasean

Will wrote: »

edit - anybody just get american women looking at your profile? 9 of my last 15 visitors were from the states

Every now and again I get loads of views from American women on OKC. I assume there must be the odd glitch and I'm showing up on American people's profiles (like how my home page usually has women from Glasgow and Manchester on it).

looky loo

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

I would say, you're wrong, who hell wants to have a serious conversation on a dating website isnt that what forums are for ?

I would also say that cheeky is only as good as the way you pull it off.
As we all know irish women love to laugh, its what they genrally like...

So your saying your more inclined to reply to some dull robotic attempt at first time communication......
Which to be honest I recon is complete crass why because if some one can make you laugh weather it being cheeky or just completely standing out from the crowd in a funny manor is going to win... This is not open for negotiation its a fact..

Why the hell would you reply to some one who makes a marginal effort, in having fun and says something dull and well robotic, last time I had this argurment with a girl she admitted in a pm that actually ,my way of approach was more fun and she would reply simply because of my sense of humor alone...

and I would say everyone is entitled to their own opinion.