Online Dating

AnnyHallsal

I got tired of the pulling-on-nights-out in my mid to late twenties, when I lost interest in binge drinking and going to nightclubs. If you enjoy a few in the pub and heading home about midnight and your idea of hell is a nightclub that isn't an option any more.

Even when I was a young and single it wasn't particularly successful. It's not the natural environment of the kind of guys I like and being approached by people you aren't interested in can be hard work. I can count on one hand the great guys I met through doing so, and most of them would be friends of friends. When your friends also don't want to go to nightclubs any more it seems pointless to me.

zuroph

disabled my profile on Okc. pah. real life is more fun

Sonics2k

liz2 wrote: »

i respect that, so don't get me wrong, but just out of curiosity are there alot of guys or a particular age group that dont want 'to go there' ?

im a single mum btw

About as many men are put off by it as women are.

For example, I'm a separated father, children live with their mother, and yes I have met a few women over time who despite being interested in me are put off by the idea of having children around to.

@jenny
I agree with everything you've said so far. I've used Internet dating in the past, but I don't rely on it to meet someone. It's more there out of curiosity and just in case scenarios.

stargazer 68

liz2 wrote: »

i respect that, so don't get me wrong, but just out of curiosity are there alot of guys or a particular age group that dont want 'to go there' ?

im a single mum btw

Yes there are and as Sonics said there are women put off by it too. However, you and they will find as they get older their 'childless pool' gets smaller and smaller.

COYW

liz2 wrote: »

i respect that, so don't get me wrong, but just out of curiosity are there alot of guys or a particular age group that dont want 'to go there' ?

im a single mum btw

It think that is more individual than anything else. I had a look at online dating when I was younger and went out with 2 people. First was a single mother who I got on well with but it wasn't relationship stuff and the second was a single girl, no kids, which was a painful experience. Decided online dating wasn't for me thereafter.

Galvasean

liz2 wrote: »

i respect that, so don't get me wrong, but just out of curiosity are there alot of guys or a particular age group that dont want 'to go there' ?

im a single mum btw

Personally i wouldn't be interested in going out with a girl who had kids at this point in my life (I'm mid 20s).

zuroph wrote: »

. real life is more fun

Nonsense!

MudSkipper

Dovies wrote: »

Well Im 43 (bugger was only 42 last week!) and all my friends are married with kids so their nights out consist of a diet coke at the local (seriously). My sisters have partners so thats about it really for me!! Which is why I turned to online - last time I pulled when I was out I think I was at school.

Happy B'day Dovies

stargazer 68

MudSkipper wrote: »

Happy B'day Dovies

Thanks!

Snowie

liz2 wrote: »

i respect that, so don't get me wrong, but just out of curiosity are there alot of guys or a particular age group that dont want 'to go there' ?

im a single mum btw

I don't mind kids at all..

I'd have, reserves more so about the kids father in a point that he could cause problems but wouldn't really be that bothered about it.

liz2

thanks for yer input everyone

i know im a parent myself, but it wouldnt put me off meeting a guy if he had kids. but thats because id have the understanding

so with the jigs and the reels, i may have better success of meeting someone who already has kids :P

Snowie

liz2 wrote: »

thanks for yer input everyone

I see what you did there :pac:

uglyjohn

liz2 wrote: »

i respect that, so don't get me wrong, but just out of curiosity are there alot of guys or a particular age group that dont want 'to go there' ?

im a single mum btw

I'm in my mid twenties, get on well with children ( relatives, girlfriends relatives and so on) and i do plan on having my own eventually but personally i cant imagine myself going out with a single mother. i dont mean to sound harsh and it is probably unfair but i just dont think im settled enough in my own life to potentially be the male figure for a child growing up. There is also the issue that if you break up with the mother after a year or so and the child has come to accept you as part of their circle then you end up breaking up with the child.

not sure if that all makes sense. its late here and i've been drinking......

Galvasean

uglyjohn wrote: »

I'm in my mid twenties, get on well with children ( relatives, girlfriends relatives and so on) and i do plan on having my own eventually but personally i cant imagine myself going out with a single mother. i dont mean to sound harsh and it is probably unfair but i just dont think im settled enough in my own life to potentially be the male figure for a child growing up. There is also the issue that if you break up with the mother after a year or so and the child has come to accept you as part of their circle then you end up breaking up with the child.

not sure if that all makes sense. its late here and i've been drinking......

That sums up me quite aptly.
Well except the drinking bit which I envy.

Snowie

uglyjohn wrote: »

I'm in my mid twenties, get on well with children ( relatives, girlfriends relatives and so on) and i do plan on having my own eventually but personally i cant imagine myself going out with a single mother. i dont mean to sound harsh and it is probably unfair but i just dont think im settled enough in my own life to potentially be the male figure for a child growing up.

I know lots of single mums who may have a house etc and look after them selves but are anything but interested in being settled they still have a great life, they just have a child whos a priority which is fair enough

Dont confuse being a parent and settled as the same thing man because there not.

liz2

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

I see what you did there :pac:

lol, i wasnt throwing a dig at anyone i just had never thought of it like that before. heres me on dating sites and wondering why i was finding it hard to keep guys interested :rolleyes:

like someone mentioned earlier, its different for everyone. some people don't mind it and some do. its the luck of the draw for me really :pac:

uglyjohn

i suppose its also true that doing the whole online thing lets you approach it all with a "shopping list" in mind before you even know the person. you could meet a single mother in real life and hit it off with her and the child mightn’t be a big issue.
Doing an online search you're going to screen people before you even meet them.


@Snow-Monkey - i know, you're right but i think i'd still feel ( rightly or wrongly) that if i didnt see myself being there for the child long term i was probably wasting her time and making it harder for her. maybe im completely wrong and immature and i dont know if its right but thats how i'd feel......

Back on topic...one of the girls that disappeared has come back! :eek:

Galvasean

uglyjohn wrote: »

i suppose its also true that doing the whole online thing lets you approach it all with a "shopping list" in mind before you even know the person. you could meet a single mother in real life and hit it off with her and the child mightn’t be a big issue.

There's that too. If I met an amazing woman who was perfect for me in every conceivable way I wouldn't drop her like a hot potato if I found out she had a child.

Ophiopogon

Dovies wrote: »

Obviosuly havent seen your profile but if you have kept straight to the point then I guess it could come across as manly. Women tend to be more 'flowery' in their profiles.

What does flowery mean though?

I not a tom boy and also not a girly girl but I was under the impression that I write like a girl or at least sexless. My profile is not blunt but I'm mean if it asks you 6 things you can't life with out...I just listed them and they are (I would think not manly) just average. I made a couple of jokes as well about myself.

Now I think I should try "girly" it up but I don't even know what that really means?

Snowie

liz2 wrote: »

lol,

Your supposed to snigger

I wasnt throwing a dig at anyone i just had never thought of it like that before. heres me on dating sites and wondering why i was finding it hard to keep guys interested :rolleyes:

like someone mentioned earlier, its different for everyone. some people don't mind it and some do. its the luck of the draw for me really :pac:

I woundt worry about it tooo much I think it depends on the guy... Ive got friends who are going out with a girl who've got there own kid and some of my mates are fathers too, I think its down to the person I cant really see it being a bad thing...

I think its more timing then luck

Snowie

uglyjohn wrote: »

@Snow-Monkey - i know, you're right but i think i'd still feel ( rightly or wrongly) that if i didnt see myself being there for the child long term i was probably wasting her time and making it harder for her. maybe im completely wrong and immature and i dont know if its right but thats how i'd feel......

Back on topic...one of the girls that disappeared has come back! :eek:

What ?


whats the child got to do with you ?


most single mothers arnt looking for an extra daddy figure but the same thing as every one else.. boy friend/ or a girlfriend a companion...

If the partner chooses to play and help provide for the womans child thats a completely different kettle of fish all togeather. Obvously if the mother wanted that to...

You guys look into things way to much....

liz2

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

most single mothers arnt looking for an extra daddy figure but the same thing as every one else.. boy friend/ or a girlfriend a companion...
You guys look into things way to much....

again, everyone to their own opinion and views on this topic...:)
but i have to agree with snow monkey on this,, for me personally im not looking for a daddy figure (they have a wonderful dad and dont need a substitute) im just looking to meet someone, for me. im happy out with the way my life is, run my own household and very much independent. if he wanted to get more involved, well then so be it, but that would be waaay down the line. we're not all looking for daddy's :rolleyes:

AnnyHallsal

I think it's a shame to discount people who have children, or vice versa. God knows it's difficult enough to find someone you really click with.

Still I can understand why people do and that's much better than being dishonest with yourself or another.

uglyjohn

**** another one wrote back


chatting to two online right now! no time to post!

Snowie

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

I think it's a shame to discount people who have children, or vice versa. God knows it's difficult enough to find someone you really click with.

I agree i think it shame that so many people limit them selves over something so not that important...

LegacyUser

Hey everyone,

1st time poster - Really good stories coming off this thread :L

I joined POF a few months back and closed down my profile after 2 weeks. I ended up friending a guy on facebook and texting him, still am the odd time but he has not asked me out. Sickening, I guess he is looking for a penpal, he too was new to online dating and had never met anyone from online before. Wish he'd grow a pair and ask me on a date, although may be I should grow a pair and ask him that may scare him off once and for all

Anyhow, after this disaster I said I would give OKC and Connecting Singles a go from reading bits here....

Connecting Singles - seemed to attract the weirdo's, OKC I havent had much mail. I think im quiet fussy may be I should just give up at this stage!!!

Which websites have yous found the best? Any advice on setting up the profile and what to say? I am in my early - mid 20's, getting sick of the niteclubbing scene at this stage!

Taaaa

JamesBond2010

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

I think it's a shame to discount people who have children, or vice versa. God knows it's difficult enough to find someone you really click with.
.

I would not really care as long as the child is not a teenager 11 ,12 13type of way. it would be very hard then (discipline, unruly beahaviour)

JamesBond2010

liz2 wrote: »

i respect that, so don't get me wrong, but just out of curiosity are there alot of guys or a particular age group that dont want 'to go there' ?

im a single mum btw

I have probaly talked to u so on POF since u are. single parents are a bit more mature independent type.

AnnyHallsal

JamesBond2010 wrote: »

I would not really care as long as the child is not a teenager 11 ,12 13type of way. it would be very hard then (discipline, unruly beahaviour)

My thinking is that it would be well down the line before you meet the child, so I'd have no problem with a date or two to see if there's a spark, and then address hypotheticals. Again though, I see where you're coming from.

Snowie

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

My thinking is that it would be well down the line before you meet the child, so I'd have no problem with a date or two to see if there's a spark, and then address hypotheticals. Again though, I see where you're coming from.

Id agree speculation isnt something Im good at

Galvasean

JamesBond2010 wrote: »

single parents are a bit more mature independent type.

From experience I can categorically state that is simply not true.