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Online Dating

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    #752
    ToniTuddle
    Registered Users Posts: 8,964 ✭✭✭ToniTuddle


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Tell me about it. However that sort of attitude is not confined to the internet. I know a guy who had a divorce recently only a few months into their marriage. Turns out he had been cheating before and during the marriage!
    I mean if you want to be a player go right ahead, just don't hurt anybody!

    Oh I know!
    One of my exs use to cheat on me every weekend bringing them back to my bedroom, as I was out of town working trying to have enough money to see me through the week in college. Then be all lovey dovey with me during the week! He soon left the country after I found out :pac:
    The_Morrigan wrote: »
    Unfortunately the guy was convinced he was in three relationships (yeah I know!!) He didn't think he was doing anything wrong and he was going to eventually choose...
    Idiotic really - but they are his issues, not mine.

    That was less than a year ago and I've been on a few dates since and dated another guy briefly till we mutually decided to just be friends.

    He couldn't choose after like...a year! :confused: Lordy!

    See this whole idea of going on a date on a Friday night with someone, then someone else on Saturday and maybe a third person on Sunday (if you are popular enough to get 3 dates in one weekend:pac:)....it's kind of alien to me.

    Me and my friends would just be use to meeting someone, clicking together, going on few dates then ending up in a relationship or else it fizzles out before that. But the whole time it's only them and not dating someone else at the same time...all that weighing up the options craic.

    Think I would feel bad or like I was cheating/lying in some way to the other person even if it was just a few dates. If that makes sense :o


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    #753
    The_Morrigan
    Registered Users Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    ToniTuddle wrote: »
    He couldn't choose after like...a year! :confused: Lordy!

    Apparently not, but he was getting different things from us so he was happy to ride it out it would seem.
    I have my own apt, so he happily ate my food, ran up my bills and left an ass groove in my couch :mad:
    I only met one of the other girls, and she had a house share and he hated her flatmate, so he wouldn't stay over as much.

    It wasn't the cheating that got me, it was the absolute mammoth web of lies, and not just off the cuff ones, these were planned very detailed lies including trips abroad with work, flight times/numbers/hotels, nights out with his mates that would have photo uploads to FB tagging his mates as blurry objects in the background etc.

    I must say though I got the greatest satisfaction when I saw the look on his face when he arrived to my apt to find two gf's there :D Total Jerry Springer moment!

    We told him to get help, that it was a serious problem if he actually thought he was in a proper relationship with each of us individually. :rolleyes:


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    #754
    ToniTuddle
    Registered Users Posts: 8,964 ✭✭✭ToniTuddle


    The_Morrigan wrote: »

    It wasn't the cheating that got me, it was the absolute mammoth web of lies, and not just off the cuff ones, these were planned very detailed lies including trips abroad with work, flight times/numbers/hotels, nights out with his mates that would have photo uploads to FB tagging his mates as blurry objects in the background etc.


    Ahhh here! That's just.....:eek: he's not right in the head and most definitely needs help.

    With the limited experience I've had online they just can't seem to give up the flirting with others. It's either too tempting....or they are simply addicted to it and don't even realise or see it as only "having the craic".

    As I said in a previous post how I signed up to one of those sites just to check it out not properly signing up. It was either OKCupid or POF but it matched me to lads from other towns who I knew, even went to college with one.(Think it just matched me as they were near me cause I know their personalities and they aint anything like mine!)
     The majority of them I know for a fact have cheated repeatedly on previous girlfriends. One even having two relationships on the go. The other one or two are just waaaay too full on with the flirtyness in real life even when you make it clear ye aint interested they don't listen.

    So a few bad eggs are definitely very feicin annoying for the decent ones online who actually are genuinely looking for an honest, awesomely fun relationship.
    I do know it aint all bad though! :p There is one or two nice lads I know from down the country on it and they are simply lovely.....so maybe it's just bad luck that I got matched to the bad eggs round my area :pac::D


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    #755
    Kevin Duffy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,439 ✭✭✭Kevin Duffy


    Galvasean wrote: »
    I said "women come across tossers and lunatics online", not "women come across as tossers and lunatics online".

    Balls, sorry my bad for reading in a hurry :o


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    #756
    Chickaroo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 72 ✭✭Chickaroo


    What would lads feelings be on girls who play sport??? I am a sporty gal myself and sometimes get the vibe that its a turnoff for some guys!!! On the other hand I am a real girlie girl and love getting glammed up!!

    Should one put that on their profile if they were to create one? :)


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    #757
    Kevin Duffy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,439 ✭✭✭Kevin Duffy


    Chickaroo wrote: »
    What would lads feelings be on girls who play sport??? I am a sporty gal myself and sometimes get the vibe that its a turnoff for some guys!!! On the other hand I am a real girlie girl and love getting glammed up!!

    Should one put that on their profile if they were to create one? :)

    Dunno about anyone else, but that works for me! :)


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    #758
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Everyone is different so the best bet is to be truthful on your profile.If you are part of different teams and are training or playing games at the weekends or during the week this should be included as the guy may have similar commitments so it may not be feasible to begin anything if ye have conflicting schedules.As for whether as a bloke would a girl that says she is sporty put me off?Not in the slightest.


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    #759
    Screaminmidget
    Registered Users Posts: 2,059 ✭✭✭Screaminmidget


    Chickaroo wrote: »
    What would lads feelings be on girls who play sport??? I am a sporty gal myself and sometimes get the vibe that its a turnoff for some guys!!! On the other hand I am a real girlie girl and love getting glammed up!!

    Should one put that on their profile if they were to create one? :)

    More a turn on than turn off. Should deffo put it on the profile, why would you hide it??


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    #760
    Wolflikeme
    Closed Accounts Posts: 827 ✭✭✭Wolflikeme


    Chickaroo wrote: »
    What would lads feelings be on girls who play sport??? I am a sporty gal myself and sometimes get the vibe that its a turnoff for some guys!!! On the other hand I am a real girlie girl and love getting glammed up!!

    Should one put that on their profile if they were to create one? :)


    For sure. If that's who you are and what you do.

    I can't see how it would be a turn off for a guy, unless they're really unfit and it might make them self conscious.

    Works for me too. Sporty girl = more stamina :D


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    #761
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Chickaroo wrote: »
    What would lads feelings be on girls who play sport??? I am a sporty gal myself and sometimes get the vibe that its a turnoff for some guys!!! On the other hand I am a real girlie girl and love getting glammed up!!

    Should one put that on their profile if they were to create one? :)

    By and large sports = fitness, good health, determination and commitment.
    Galvasean approves. :cool:


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    #762
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    I think the avalanche of lads liking sporty girls pretty much sums up the answer to that question.

    To me sport girls=nice legs. Nothing wrong with that!


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    #763
    cantdecide
    Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    Just remember, GAA jerseys are not a fashion item!


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    #764
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Got chatting to someone tonight (haleluya!!!) on OKcupid. Very nice girl. Chatty. Fun. Interesting. Very good looking.
    Just noticed now 'seeing someone' :o
    Silly Galvasean! :pac:
    Ah well, she's still quite cool and fun to talk to.


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    #765
    panda100
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Got chatting to someone tonight (haleluya!!!) on OKcupid. Very nice girl. Chatty. Fun. Interesting. Very good looking.
    Just noticed now 'seeing someone' :o
    Silly Galvasean! :pac:
    Ah well, she's still quite cool and fun to talk to.

    I never get that....why would you be on a dating website If you're seeing someone??

    Anyways after four great dates with okcupid guy I am now back on the internet dating market.
    Got a really cold text from him yesterday saying he had issues with his ex and so couldn't go on another date with me. It really came out of the blue as we had a really good laugh together and really clicked, and he took his profile down of the website and there was flirty texts up until Sunday evening. I don't think I can handle another rejection from a guy.My last ex broke up with me because he realised he wasn't over his ex.
    I'm so pleased im helping all these men realise how great their ex's are :p


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    #766
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,117 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    panda100 wrote: »
    My last ex broke up with me because he realised he wasn't over his ex.
    I'm so pleased im helping all these men realise how great their ex's are :p


    Oh I have had that old story too!! Dont believe it anymore. Why cant they just be honest and say 'you are too much for me to handle, can't keep up with you in the sack'? :D:D:D


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    #767
    The_Morrigan
    Registered Users Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    Dovies wrote: »
    Oh I have had that old story too!! Dont believe it anymore. Why cant they just be honest and say 'you are too much for me to handle, can't keep up with you in the sack'? :D:D:D


    LMAO the last guy I dated briefly from OKC said that too me :D
    I still have the text just to cheer me up every now and again!


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    #768
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,117 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    Never heard of OKC - might have to check it out later although I guarantee the same people that are on the others are on that too!


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    #769
    The_Morrigan
    Registered Users Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    Dovies wrote: »
    Never heard of OKC - might have to check it out later although I guarantee the same people that are on the others are on that too!

    OKC = OK Cupid


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    #770
    cantdecide
    Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    panda100 wrote: »
    ...I'm so pleased im helping all these men realise how great their ex's are...

    I heard his ex was renowned for having the worst personality in Germany. It goes without saying that she was up against some pretty stiff competition.


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    #771
    panda100
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    Dovies wrote: »
    Oh I have had that old story too!! Dont believe it anymore. Why cant they just be honest and say 'you are too much for me to handle, can't keep up with you in the sack'? :D:D:D

    :D Ya I know its a line, but I guess its a bit kinder than saying Im just not that in to you.
    Oh well onwards and upwards I guess!


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    #772
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    panda100 wrote: »
    I never get that....why would you be on a dating website If you're seeing someone??

    Anyways after four great dates with okcupid guy I am now back on the internet dating market.
    Got a really cold text from him yesterday saying he had issues with his ex and so couldn't go on another date with me. It really came out of the blue as we had a really good laugh together and really clicked, and he took his profile down of the website and there was flirty texts up until Sunday evening. I don't think I can handle another rejection from a guy.My last ex broke up with me because he realised he wasn't over his ex.
    I'm so pleased im helping all these men realise how great their ex's are :p

    Well the way I would look at this is that if he isnt over his ex then it is a bullet dodged.Ive gotten involved with girls that were'nt over their ex's,got into them,had them finish it and go back with the ex that had treated them like crap.Needless to say the ol ego takes a bit of a battering.

    I think now if Im to get involved with anyone then there has to be some kind of lead in time depending on when their last serious relationship finished.Depending on the lenght of their last relationship it would generally be 6 months minimum.I have no intention of being anyone's rebound guy.


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    #773
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    I've got a fewcassual coffee things coming up which is really cool.. I dont drink on the first date walk and talk so much more relaxed then sitting in a dark pub... and if we get on maybe il ask them on a date :D


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    #774
    Chickaroo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 72 ✭✭Chickaroo


    cantdecide wrote: »
    Just remember, GAA jerseys are not a fashion item!

    Oh Dear, NEVER!!! Only on match days, but then I usually have a nice top underneath for the pub afterwards :D

    I am still unsure about the whole online dating thing tbh, I joined a few sites but I dunno I haven't met anyone on them that I "click" with....Oh well, the search continues :cool:


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    #775
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,117 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    Maybe we should have a boards dating site!!
    Oh and football jerseys are not a fashion item either!!


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    #776
    pablomakaveli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,752 ✭✭✭pablomakaveli


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Got chatting to someone tonight (haleluya!!!) on OKcupid. Very nice girl. Chatty. Fun. Interesting. Very good looking.
    Just noticed now 'seeing someone' :o
    Silly Galvasean! :pac:
    Ah well, she's still quite cool and fun to talk to.

    I noticed there was quite a few people like that on OkCupid when i had a profile there. I really dont see the point of being on the site if they're already seeing someone unless they joined when they were single, met someone off the site but want to keep in touch with other people they chatted to on the site.

    Either that or they just want to see how much attention they'll get.

    Edit: Actually isnt it possible to filter out people who are seeing someone in the search?


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    #777
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Chickaroo wrote: »
    Oh Dear, NEVER!!! Only on match days, but then I usually have a nice top underneath for the pub afterwards :D

    I am still unsure about the whole online dating thing tbh, I joined a few sites but I dunno I haven't met anyone on them that I "click" with....Oh well, the search continues :cool:

    The best advice I can give is to try and meet the person relatively quickly if possible.Ive had it a few times that Ive "clicked" with someone chatting on MSN/Skype/phone over a couple of weeks but when we meet in person there is no spark there so it can be pretty frustrating/disappointing.


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    #778
    pablomakaveli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,752 ✭✭✭pablomakaveli


    Otis Driftwood wrote: »
    The best advice I can give is to try and meet the person relatively quickly if possible.Ive had it a few times that Ive "clicked" with someone chatting on MSN/Skype/phone over a couple of weeks but when we meet in person there is no spark there so it can be pretty frustrating/disappointing.

    Wouldnt it be better to wait a while so you'll at least know a good bit about the person you're meeting? I found that because i knew a good bit about the girl i was meeting it was easier to keep the conversation going and that first meeting went well as a result.


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    #779
    AnnyHallsal
    Registered Users Posts: 4,117 ✭✭✭AnnyHallsal


    Panda, I don't think the ex thing is necessarily a line. I've been on both sides of the divide, and if someone is still besotted the easiest thing in the world is to run back to the familiar.

    Like Otis, I think you've dodged a bullet. You really can't compete with their history, so unless he wakes up and decide he's done with her, there's nothing you can do. Better sooner than later, should be some consolation. It's very selfish but loads of people jump into dating as a distraction from a break up.


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    #780
    Chickaroo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 72 ✭✭Chickaroo


    pablomakaveli wrote: »
    Wouldnt it be better to wait a while so you'll at least know a good bit about the person you're meeting? I found that because i knew a good bit about the girl i was meeting it was easier to keep the conversation going and that first meeting went well as a result.

    Yeah I would kinda think along these lines myself, I would rather get to know the dude a bit more before I decide to go meet someone, maybe add them on FB so I know I am not going out with an axe murderer etc etc (I know that sounds really paranoid but you never know :o)

    Plus the more you chat the more you know about them and therefore would be at some kind of ease conversation wise on the date!!


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    #781
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    pablomakaveli wrote: »
    Wouldnt it be better to wait a while so you'll at least know a good bit about the person you're meeting? I found that because i knew a good bit about the girl i was meeting it was easier to keep the conversation going and that first meeting went well as a result.

    In my experience Ive found the opposite.Another issue Ive found is that people tend to put photos up where they are looking their absolute best however the varience between photos and real life can be staggering sometimes.

    It may sound harsh but you essentially talking to a photo in alot of cases.

    If you click with someone when you meet them then you will have no problem keeping the conversation going anyway,same as when you get chatting with someone on a night out,if you hit it off then you dont have to make an effort in chatting to them.


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