Online Dating

Monkey61

G-Money wrote: »

If a girl emailed me and in her first mail suggested drinks, there's no way I'd go. I'd insist on swapping a few emails first, and texts and a phone call to suss her out and see what she's like. I've encountered a few mad ones on dating sites so the last thing I want to do is sign myself up meeting up right off the bat.

Ah but it's all the fun of dating, meeting people you would never meet, getting a funny story or making a new friend if nothing else. You're not signing your life away after all, just going for a drink.

My current girlfriend (and hopefully future wife!) sent me a message completely out of the blue asking if I wanted to go for a drink a few days later. I thought why not, didn't really exchange any personal information other than a comment on what jobs we did and what we had done in college, met up and the rest is history.

I would always say meet quickly. It makes the actual meeting part seem much more natural and relaxed if you haven't built up a person in your head. One of the first girls I met online, we emailed everyday for a few weeks first. They were really long emails, very funny, very clever, I thought she was amazing and we really seemed to spark off each other brilliantly. Then we met...and nothing. We could barely speak to each other. Loads of stuff in common...but somehow it just didn't work. It was a valuable lesson learned.

After that girls I was in contact with fell into two categories - the ones I would send long emails to for weeks and either never met (one girl, I became friends with and we are still emailing two years later) and the ones that I immediately arranged to meet and either ended up going out with or at least briefly dating.

I think lots of emailing is fine when you are first testing the water in online dating, but after going over the same getting to know you stuff with a few people it becomes very dull!

Semele

Monkey61 wrote: »

I think lots of emailing is fine when you are first testing the water in online dating, but after going over the same getting to know you stuff with a few people it becomes very dull!

Yeah...this is what I mean. I think this attitude is partly why people get so disillusioned and burnt out by online dating. If you really invest in every person you end up messaging with then of course you're inevitably going to end up getting your hopes crushed a lot of the time when it doesn't go anywhere. If you see it for what it is, which is just a handy way to meet a larger population of single people who you may potentially click with then it becomes a lot more fun and a lot less soul-crushing!

Rossin

you lot are talking about lots of emails and taking ages, what I meant was I wouldnt ask them out straight up, but lets say the 3rd mail which will more than likely be on the same day if not the next day, no time wasted at all but at least I have an idea theyre not bonkers unless theyre really good at hiding it


*day 2 on pof, im off to have a gander at you lot *

stargazer 68

Rossin wrote: »

*day 2 on pof, im off to have a gander at you lot *

Well if you can find me drop me a mail!!

Larianne

Dovies wrote: »

Well if you can find me drop me a mail!!

There aren't enough days in the week!!! :pac:

parker kent

I'd have about 3-4 messages and then ask the person out if I thought there was a connection.

Asked a girl out this week and she said yes, but cancelled saying we'll re-arrange for next week. I'm doing OK on OKC now, I cherry pick who I send an email to and I'm getting a decent percentage of replies.

I'd rather send an email to 2 people I think there is a real hope of getting on with instead of just carpet bombing every girl on it. I haven't the energy or will to face the rejection to do that!

LegacyUser

Is internet dating a bad idea if you've never been on a date, never ever..

Rossin

sounds like a good place to start if you ask me but lets see what the regulars think! From what I've gathered so far, you wouldn't want to take anything to heart, go in there ready to not get a reply and dont take it too seriously and you should be fine! I actually think id have more confidence to ask people out in person now after using these


found a beautiful girl there, my closest match on oc going by that percentage thing, then, BAM, interested in group sex, dont think I could keep up with this one neeexxxttt

jenny111111

wrapper paper wrote: »

Is internet dating a bad idea if you've never been on a date, never ever..

Personally i'd say it's a great place to start, but take Rossin's advice and don't take it too seriously. On the first date i'd recommend something very casual, even for the most experienced dater a meal with someone you don't know is fairly daunting.

Xios

I found the most perfect girl for me, but she set the criteria to filter out anyone below 70% match rating, stupid friggin system

visual

she was too dumb to realise that 69% is where your at...

cyrusdvirus

Rossin wrote: »

sounds like a good place to start if you ask me but lets see what the regulars think! From what I've gathered so far, you wouldn't want to take anything to heart, go in there ready to not get a reply and dont take it too seriously and you should be fine! I actually think id have more confidence to ask people out in person now after using these


found a beautiful girl there, my closest match on oc going by that percentage thing, then, BAM, interested in group sex, dont think I could keep up with this one neeexxxttt

I wouldn't pay any attention to those percentage thingys.

I met up with a girl about 12 months ago and we were supposedly 95% match. After 15 minutes it was apparent that we had NOTHING. No Spark, not even casual interest. I'm not even in contact with her anymore, and that says a lot from my point of view.

The only ex that i'm not in regular enough contact (by which i mean 3 or 4 times a year we'll have a good long e-mail chat) is my first real serious girlfriend.

I'm still in contact with anyone else I've met on the sites.

cyrusdvirus

On a much more important note, who is going to get post #8000??

Rossin

Dovies wrote: »

Well if you can find me drop me a mail!!

I had to hazard a guess it was you, i sent the usual, "i am horny" :P

stargazer 68

Rossin wrote: »

I had to hazard a guess it was you, i sent the usual, "i am horny" :P

Well I will check it out later - if I havent got a mail some poor one has and thinks you are a perv!

liz2

gatecrash wrote: »

On a much more important note, who is going to get post #8000??

''everyone waits.......:pac:''

MudSkipper

I'll wait till we get to 10,000...... now the next post better be a good un :P

Owen

And there we go, post 8000. Just like playing Unreal Tournament and camping, picking people off with the sniper rifles and headshots

stargazer 68

fiddly dee

liz2

so what time is your date dovies?
i have one this evening.. & im not as nervous as i usually would be! i dunno if thats a good or a bad thing..lol

stargazer 68

liz2 wrote: »

so what time is your date dovies?
i have one this evening.. & im not as nervous as i usually would be! i dunno if thats a good or a bad thing..lol

Hey
Had one yesterday. The one today hasn't got back to me so sod him. have another one tomorrow night! Good luck tonight! Hope he is the man of your dreams!

Fittle

I've read loads of this thread and I have to say that all the men here sound like guys I'd like to meet on POF - you all come across really cool, funny etc etc
So why don't any of you seem like this on POF?????

Kevin Duffy

Fittle wrote: »

I've read loads of this thread and I have to say that all the men here sound like guys I'd like to meet on POF - you all come across really cool, funny etc etc
So why don't any of you seem like this on POF?????

My guess would be that on here people are a bit more relaxed and personalities come out a bit more, humour in particular. On dating websites, people are a little more artificial, either trying a bit too hard or playing it a bit too safe with the humour and generally not being themselves.

Bit of a generalisation I know, not everyone is behaving like that.

Rossin

How come all the girls on POF tlk lik dis bt whn ur on birds u tlk nrml!


There must must be thousands in and around Dublin on POF, anyone know?

stargazer 68

Rossin wrote: »

How come all the girls on POF tlk lik dis bt whn ur on birds u tlk nrml!


There must must be thousands in and around Dublin on POF, anyone know?

Haha how come all the fellas on POF are horny yet there are no horny ones on here??

Kevin Duffy

Dovies wrote: »

Haha how come all the fellas on POF are horny yet there are no horny ones on here??

Eh....

Fittle

You are possibly right though.

My experience of online almost put me off men for life! The number of mails I got 'hi hun' drove me bonkers - I met some really lovely guys though and dated two of them for a few months, so I do believe that decent guys are there - I just found it very difficult to find them!

On another note, my neighbour met a guy online 3wks ago - hes 32 - he told her his parents are dead, he is an only child and he is from somewhere very remote in the South of Ireland (she's from dublin) and hes a stockbroker but out of work at the moment.. He is just finishing up his lease in an apartment and looking for somewhere to live - she has asked him to stay with her!!!!!!!!!! I've told her to run for the hills because I wouldn't believe ANYTHING he said, but she won't listen to me!!

magneticimpulse

Rossin wrote: »

you lot are talking about lots of emails and taking ages, what I meant was I wouldnt ask them out straight up, but lets say the 3rd mail which will more than likely be on the same day if not the next day, no time wasted at all but at least I have an idea theyre not bonkers unless theyre really good at hiding it


*day 2 on pof, im off to have a gander at you lot *

3 emails to the same person in the one day?? is that not a bit excessive??

maybe its just because I find it difficult enought to get through 200 emails a day, theres no way id manage 3 emails to the same person especially in the same day!!!! be lucky if i got around to reading their email 1 month later haha. in fact be lucky if i actually had the time to open their email...

just to add...i agree with pretty much semele has said...finally someone who seems to have similar experience.

cyrusdvirus

magneticimpulse wrote: »

3 emails to the same person in the one day?? is that not a bit excessive??

not if he's getting replies.

3 unwarranted, unreplied mails, then the girlie needs to consider blocking!!

sharper

Fittle wrote: »

He is just finishing up his lease in an apartment and looking for somewhere to live - she has asked him to stay with her!!!!!!!!!!

I like the fact that for every 20,000 guys that can't get a "Hi!" there's one getting a "Want to move in and live with me for free?"