Online Dating

parker kent · 17-10-2011 1:09pm

Oh I agree Larianne, I think have become a victim of the multi-date! I had presumed she may have been trying a few dates with other people. I think I only ended up agreeing to my weekend date with the other girl just to try and get back on the horse so to speak.

Anyway, I have let her know that I'm interested in a further date and suggested 2 meet-ups that she cancelled at the last minute, so I have done all I can do for the moment. If she gets back to me, brilliant I'll give it a go. If not, no harm.

Larianne · 17-10-2011 1:10pm

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

God damnit.

And this thread was going so well.

oops!

But isn't the fact we got past a first date a good thing???

Otis Driftwood · 17-10-2011 1:13pm

Aye I suppose it is.

Im just living vicariously through you guys!

:pac:

I deleted my pof profile during the week.May dip back in while but for the time being I just couldnt be arsed.5 or 6 dates and no spark at all with any of them is enough for meh!

Larianne · 17-10-2011 1:20pm

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Aye I suppose it is.

Im just living vicariously through you guys!

:pac:

I deleted my pof profile during the week.May dip back in while but for the time being I just couldnt be arsed.5 or 6 dates and no spark at all with any of them is enough for meh!

Ah it's all pot luck really.

Otis Driftwood · 17-10-2011 1:22pm

Sure I know but my patients/interest waned quite easily so pointless carrying on!

cyrusdvirus · 17-10-2011 1:23pm

I don't delete the profiles..just don't bother my arse logging in!!

Larianne · 17-10-2011 1:23pm

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Sure I know but my patients/interest waned quite easily so pointless carrying on!

Ah, you'll go back to it. Everyone gets peeved off with it every once and a while.

cyrusdvirus · 17-10-2011 1:24pm

Larianne wrote: »

Ah, you'll go back to it. Everyone gets peeved off with it every once and a while.

Yup!!

I think the only way of TRULY stopping is when you are seeing someone

parker kent · 17-10-2011 1:27pm

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Sure I know but my patients/interest waned quite easily so pointless carrying on!

You run out of suitable people fairly quickly too, so no harm to take a break and then come back when the talent pool(:pac:) is refreshed.

Anyway, since I'm letting it all out this lunchtime...I was chatting to another girl and seemed to be getting on very well. I figured we'd reached the asking out moment and then she was like "I don't think I can date a younger man". That massive one year age gap was a deal breaker :pac:

Otis Driftwood · 17-10-2011 1:28pm

Larianne wrote: »

Ah, you'll go back to it. Everyone gets peeved off with it every once and a while.

Possible I suppose but based on past forays into it,it could be a couple of years before I do!
:pac:

Larianne · 17-10-2011 1:30pm

parker kent wrote: »

You run out of suitable people fairly quickly too, so no harm to take a break and then come back when the talent pool(:pac:) is refreshed.

Anyway, since I'm letting it all out this lunchtime...I was chatting to another girl and seemed to be getting on very well. I figured we'd reached the asking out moment and then she was like "I don't think I can date a younger man". That massive one year age gap was a deal breaker :pac:

Why was she mailing you so? Jeez, talk about messing you about.

Some peopple really are on there for a bit of penpal action.

cyrusdvirus · 17-10-2011 1:32pm

parker kent wrote: »

You run out of suitable people fairly quickly too, so no harm to take a break and then come back when the talent pool(:pac:) is refreshed.

Anyway, since I'm letting it all out this lunchtime...I was chatting to another girl and seemed to be getting on very well. I figured we'd reached the asking out moment and then she was like "I don't think I can date a younger man". That massive one year age gap was a deal breaker :pac:

sorry PK.... that raised a chuckle here

I thought the massive one year age gap stopped being a problem once you hit 15!!

Lon Dubh · 17-10-2011 1:42pm

Larianne wrote: »

I think it's been mentioned before on this thread, but one of the downsides to online dating is that it is like a candy store - unless you just are messaging the one person, you're never fully committed to getting to know someone properly because there is always the "ooh, there might be someone out there better than this current person". Never give it a proper chance, if you get me.

I think the multiple date thing actually worsens your chances in finding someone. ( I used to be a fan, but not so much now because of what I've stated above).

Yes I agree with you, it is easier to concentrate on one person at a time, as then you are judging them on their own merits and not getting distracted. I would be worried too if I multiple dated as well I could end up burning my bridges with a few people in one go (the "rejected" ones), who might have turned out better for me than the one I would pick.

Of course having said this sometimes you could end up chatting to a few people at the same time as they write to you, and then maybe it would be a pity not arrange to meet up, as sometimes there is only a small window of opportunity with people. First dates can be such a let down as well that it could be good to have another lined up.

Contradicting myself there :P, me confused

never!

I ended up cancelling the second date with Mr No Spark, as the second date was not going to happen for ages and the wait was frustrating me (and as I am trying to avoid multiple dating this meant "wasting" more time on someone who was probably not going to work out). The first date had taken ages to organise as well, so it made me realise that even in practical terms this one was not going to be for me. The distance combined with not knowing from one week to the next when he was free from work and free to meet up would drive me nuts if I did end up dating him.

As other people said about LDR's, you miss out on the more casual last-minute stuff which I would like to have, and travelling can add such extra effort and pressure to any relationship, even if you really like them. I would do it if I dated someone locally who I was crazy about but who had to move elsewhere, but otherwise I prefer to try out my luck more locally.

hollypink · 17-10-2011 2:31pm

Had a second date at the weekend, still not sure if theres any spark (on either side). But he mentioned as we were leaving about meeting up again and got a short text since so I guess he is mildly interested anyway. So maybe date no. 3 will clarify things!

xxdilemmaxx · 17-10-2011 2:56pm

Well I’m adding to the bad news Otis! I was at 3rd date stage as well (after 2 amazing dates, well I thought they were!) and then he disappeared off the face of the earth. Can’t believe I was hit by 3rd date disappearing man phenomenon!! :eek:

Feeling a bit disillusioned with it now, need a few success stories to cheer me up….

parker kent · 17-10-2011 4:00pm

Larianne wrote: »

Why was she mailing you so? Jeez, talk about messing you about.

Some peopple really are on there for a bit of penpal action.

Yep it was a bit annoying. Had been having jokey, flirty emails for the last few days. I assumed that meant there was some interest. Seemingly not!

gatecrash wrote: »

I thought the massive one year age gap stopped being a problem once you hit 15!!

Her friends would probably write mean things on her notebook if they found her with somebody born a few months after them. The shame :eek: :pac:

xxdilemmaxx wrote: »

Can’t believe I was hit by 3rd date disappearing man phenomenon!! :eek:

Maybe he is related to my disappearing woman. The phenomenon is becoming an epidemic :pac:

But anyway, on a serious note, online dating is no different to opening chat in a bar. You're not going to end up always meeting perfectly suited people or people that are looking for the same thing as you.

Maguined · 17-10-2011 4:08pm

So I am not really taking this online dating thing serious, as in I am not actively mailing girls just threw up a profile and will respond to people that mail me but that has not lead anywhere just yet but don't see the point in deleting my profile as you never know who might mail me.

The bit that is annoying me though is that whenever I do have a random browse through profiles the only ones so far that have really grabbed my attention the girls are too young for me, I am 29 but the only girls that displayed a strong sense of humour that got my attention tend to be in their very early 20's.

Makes me feel like a perv.

Larianne · 17-10-2011 4:10pm

Thought your profile said you're seeing someone or has that changed?

Nothing wrong with going for someone younger than you if you're in the same mind set.

cyrusdvirus · 17-10-2011 4:12pm

Larianne wrote: »

Thought your profile said you're seeing someone or has that changed?

Nothing wrong with going for someone younger than you if you're in the same mind set.

I'm 36 and would have no problem with dating someone in their late 20's or early 30's

early 20's might be a stretch for me though!! :pac:

Maguined · 17-10-2011 4:22pm

Larianne wrote: »

Thought your profile said you're seeing someone or has that changed?

Nothing wrong with going for someone younger than you if you're in the same mind set.

I thought you were a POF girl? I'm only on OKC, had a look at POF but found so many profiles from txt speakers it bothered me too much.

gatecrash wrote: »

I'm 36 and would have no problem with dating someone in their late 20's or early 30's

early 20's might be a stretch for me though!! :pac:

There is a bigger difference in lifestyles between a late twenties and early twenties than there is between and late twenties and mid thirties though.

Then again I do have the sense of humour of a teenage boy so maybe there wouldn't be such a gap as I think. :cool:

Larianne · 17-10-2011 4:25pm

Maguined wrote: »

I thought you were a POF girl? I'm only on OKC, had a look at POF but found so many profiles from txt speakers it bothered me too much.

I was on both for a while. don't worry I wasn't stalking ya.

Maguined wrote: »

There is a bigger difference in lifestyles between a late twenties and early twenties than there is between and late twenties and mid thirties though.

Then again I do have the sense of humour of a teenage boy so maybe there wouldn't be such a gap as I think. :cool:

True, but as I said before if you have the same mind set, ie juvenile sense of humour :pac:, then it shouldn't really matter, eh?

Maguined · 17-10-2011 4:32pm

Larianne wrote: »

I was on both for a while. don't worry I wasn't stalking ya.

This is what irks me about OKC, you never showed up in my matches thingy but I will get the same dozen profiles offered up every second week. :mad:

It really does feel at times like there is a very tiny pool of people out there.

Larianne wrote: »

True, but as I said before if you have the same mind set, ie juvenile sense of humour :pac:, then it shouldn't really matter, eh?

You are probably right, but I think I would cringe if I mentioned a Knightrider or Thundercats joke and they didn't have there reference. They would never be able to related to the unbridled hope and optimism of Italia 90!

Larianne · 17-10-2011 4:36pm

Maguined wrote: »

This is what irks me about OKC, you never showed up in my matches thingy but I will get the same dozen profiles offered up every second week. :mad:

It really does feel at times like there is a very tiny pool of people out there.

Well that match thing is ridiculous. You're better off just searching yourself and if you spot a profile you like to message the person.

I found OkCupid very small so stopped using it after a while.

Maguined wrote: »

You are probably right, but I think I would cringe if I mentioned a Knightrider or Thundercats joke and they didn't have there reference. They would never be able to related to the unbridled hope and optimism of Italia 90!

Well that is true. I'm sure there's some girls in the late 20s age group that would get your humour? Maybe.. ? :pac:

Think you need to be proactive about it though.

G-Money · 17-10-2011 5:00pm

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

God damnit.

And this thread was going so well.

We can't have all these lovey dovey types rubbing our faces in the fact that they're so happy and we're so miserable and single.

Besides, isn't there a rule that once you do start seeing someone, you're not allowed to post in here again???

I'm pretty sure that's against the charter :cool:

Maguined · 17-10-2011 5:01pm

Proactive is on hold at the moment as I got too much crap eating up my time, work is blergh, haven't got to the gym in ages and need to get back but mostly it's searching for a new place to live which means often agreeing to view a place with only 24 hours notice and competition is pretty fierce in getting a good room I wouldn't be able to say no to the viewing. Doubt any girl would be happy with things constantly getting rearranged.

First you get the home, then you get the gym, then you get the wimmins.

Larianne · 17-10-2011 5:09pm

Maguined wrote: »

Proactive is on hold at the moment as I got too much crap eating up my time, work is blergh, haven't got to the gym in ages and need to get back but mostly it's searching for a new place to live which means often agreeing to view a place with only 24 hours notice and competition is pretty fierce in getting a good room I wouldn't be able to say no to the viewing. Doubt any girl would be happy with things constantly getting rearranged.

First you get the home, then you get the gym, then you get the wimmins.

Good plan!

Panthro · 17-10-2011 5:44pm

I was messaging another girl there about a week ago. She mailed me so I had a quick read through of her profile, she seemed sound, profile pic looked good, she lived nearby, thought to myself happy days.
Few messages back and forth, all good, had a second look at her profile pics and the second one I was not at all attracted to her (Shallow Hal syndrome:o)
I haven't replied to her last message, and shes visited my profile a few times...I'm such a bollocks!!

Larianne · 17-10-2011 5:48pm

Could it be that the second photo was just taken badly?? Most people do not look stunning in every photo.

Panthro · 17-10-2011 6:04pm

Larianne wrote: »

Could it be that the second photo was just taken badly?? Most people do not look stunning in every photo.

Quite possibly, ara its too late now to reply anyways (ya shallow gob****e Panthro!)
Messaged the other girl there hinting that I'd like to meet up, but if she wasn't on for it because of the distance thing, then that's fair enough too.
Now I wait...

Larianne · 17-10-2011 6:07pm

Panthro wrote: »

Quite possibly, ara its too late now to reply anyways (ya shallow gob****e Panthro!)
Messaged the other girl there hinting that I'd like to meet up, but if she wasn't on for it because of the distance thing, then that's fair enough too.
Now I wait...

Why is it too late to reply?? Feck it. She obviously is keen.

Online Dating

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