Online Dating

Maguined

parker kent wrote: »

Well I did say that it all depends on the timing and delivery. My point was that there are few girls that will react badly to getting a compliment if the situation suits it. So that includes the qualifier that poorly timed, poorly phrased compliments may not go down too well.

Sending random compliments on dating sites or to people you have just met is not a good idea. But complimenting somebody at the right moment can work a treat.

Agree with you completely, I wasn't even looking for a positive reaction and definitely was not a right moment, just running my mouth with whatever pops into my head as normal but I was more surprised by the fact it didn't bother her, was kinda expecting her to be bothered by it to be honest.

I have started to pay attention to ladies shoes these days, an awesome pair of shoes will definitely captivate my attention while when I was younger it wouldn't even register.

parker kent

Maguined wrote: »

I have started to pay attention to ladies shoes these days, an awesome pair of shoes will definitely captivate my attention while when I was younger it wouldn't even register.

I think you notice different things as you age. A girls hair is a big thing with me. Looking through photos on OKC, the girls with what I consider nice hair stand out.

sharper

Mr Guest wrote: »

Im not saying you should act like an a s s h o l e, but at the same time you cant be nicey nice, there has to be an edge.

So I hear but I'm a nerd that would prefer reading a book to a night out. There's no edge there.

I'm quite sure girls get tired of bland compliments, unless someone has something really standout about their profile it's best to avoid it in an initial message. Irish people sure do love the borderline insulting chat up routine but I find it bizarre. It's fine with someone I know well and whose sense of humour I know, but not with a stranger.

Balfie

No even joke, the past couple of days, I have gotten 3 messages off one girl, last night I got one..

Thing is, they all have the RE:Hi thing as the subject, but I haven't sent her a message, and I know that I haven't sent her a message, as the first message I got off her had pictures of her attached, cause I have my settings that ya must have a picture to contact me..

Got one off her again last night, RE:Hi then the message said "hahahaha what ya mean?" so I looked at the message history, and I haven't even sent her anything, chick is seriously a strange one!

If your reading this by chance, I'm sorry, but you are going about it completely the wrong way.

C.D.

Balfie wrote: »

No even joke, the past couple of days, I have gotten 3 messages off one girl, last night I got one..

Thing is, they all have the RE:Hi thing as the subject, but I haven't sent her a message, and I know that I haven't sent her a message, as the first message I got off her had pictures of her attached, cause I have my settings that ya must have a picture to contact me..

Got one off her again last night, RE:Hi then the message said "hahahaha what ya mean?" so I looked at the message history, and I haven't even sent her anything, chick is seriously a strange one!

If your reading this by chance, I'm sorry, but you are going about it completely the wrong way.

How bizzare. That sort of stuff makes me imagine a group of teengae grisl sitting around taking the piss by sending such messages.

A girl who is the spitting image of my mother (when she was younger) used the PoF "Meet Me" yoke. Her profile has elements of my mother's judgmental and dictatorial parenting style. Needless to say the ordeal has left me disturbed. Sure I moved out for a reason!

andreac

Ive been online dating for a while but have finally given up on it.

Decided to go onto POF for one last time. Got chatting to a guy i had chatted with before, he messaged me, and then we met up at an event 2 weeks ago,i got him a free pass i was working there.

All went well, contacted each other after to arrnage another meet up.

Arranged to meet the following sunday, go for a walk etc. Got a text that morn to say he had to cancel as he had to cover a shift for work, ok fine, these things can happen. He was all on for meeting again, he suggested this thursday (yesterday) so all cool. Was texting/contacting up until last weekend, both contacting each other first, not just one sided. Then heard nothing all week, had sent him a message on tues just to say hi, how are you etc, no reply, sent another wednesday to see what the plan was for meeting up thursday, no reply.... and then heard nothing back yesterday?? So i took it that he didnt want to meet up again.

Why do people do this?? Is it really that hard to send even a one liner that they arent interested in meeting up again, why ignore people??

So thats me done now with it, same story every bloody time!!

G-Money

Happens to us guys too a lot so I guess it's good to know it's not just us. I think perhaps I've become very jaded about these things and I give up too quickly. Like if I even get the slightest hint that I might be wasting my time or I'm doing all the chasing, I'll delete numbers and not contact girls again.

If they get in touch I'll often respond but if I've lost interest I usually don't make much of an effort to engage in conversation.

I've had a few blank me after dates but I just delete their details and start going after someone else.

andreac

I just would have preferred if he sent me even a one liner saying he wasnt interested in meeting up again... Why bother going to the trouble of arranging dates then not even bother to reply or get in contact, its very bad manners.
Id much rather get a message saying they werent up to meeting again than to be ignored

I was def interested, was looking forward to meeting again. We had a common interest and he seemed like a genuine guy, so i just wonder why people do this.

G-Money

Maybe I don't care enough but I just think to myself "so what". If that's they way they are going to treat me, I don't believe in giving them the satisfaction of knowing I was interested.

I really don't care about their manners. I sort of have a "f**k them" attitude towards it. Once you stop caring about whether they get back in touch you find it a lot easier to axe them and move on I find

Having said that I am very fed up with dating and everything and I find it very hard to get really interested in anyone these days. I feel very "meh" about it, even when it comes to the idea about sex, sometimes I'm just not that bothered at the thought of it.

crafty G

Hi first time posting but just wanted to give a positive experience of online dating

I decided with a friend that we would both give it a try, but she didn't like it at all, so i guess it's not for everyone but i went ahead anyway..i would reccomend joining a fee paying site and don't expect to meet the love of your life on the first date..

It took me almost a year but i did meet some nice guys during that year even if they weren't "the one", and it did wonders for my confidence, i can be shy, an i was always the one on a night out who watched my friends getting chatted up.
But having the chance to "chat" to the person first helped and sticking with it payed off as i met a great guy and we have been together for 2 years now.. so i say give it a whirl, there are some weirdos, i met a couple, but in the end i met the right wierdo for me...

cyrusdvirus

andreac wrote: »

Ive been online dating for a while but have finally given up on it.

Decided to go onto POF for one last time. Got chatting to a guy i had chatted with before, he messaged me, and then we met up at an event 2 weeks ago,i got him a free pass i was working there.

All went well, contacted each other after to arrnage another meet up.

Arranged to meet the following sunday, go for a walk etc. Got a text that morn to say he had to cancel as he had to cover a shift for work, ok fine, these things can happen. He was all on for meeting again, he suggested this thursday (yesterday) so all cool. Was texting/contacting up until last weekend, both contacting each other first, not just one sided. Then heard nothing all week, had sent him a message on tues just to say hi, how are you etc, no reply, sent another wednesday to see what the plan was for meeting up thursday, no reply.... and then heard nothing back yesterday?? So i took it that he didnt want to meet up again.

Why do people do this?? Is it really that hard to send even a one liner that they arent interested in meeting up again, why ignore people??

So thats me done now with it, same story every bloody time!!

welcome Andrea. I wouldn't let it bother you. Of course it's a bit upsetting, and the confidence can take a hit, but to be honest, if a guy is going to behave like that, would you really want him around??

In some ways the online dating thing is more revealing about the person beneath the exterior. It shows how callous and uncaring people can be.

andreac

gatecrash wrote: »

welcome Andrea. I wouldn't let it bother you. Of course it's a bit upsetting, and the confidence can take a hit, but to be honest, if a guy is going to behave like that, would you really want him around??

In some ways the online dating thing is more revealing about the person beneath the exterior. It shows how callous and uncaring people can be.

Thanks Gatecrash. The thing is ive been online dating for a good while now i can honestly say the majority of the men on it are all the same. I have met 2 really nice decent guys but the spark just wasnt there, pity, its always the way.
Thats me done with it anyway, this last person was my final chance with it and it was the same story so i cant be bothered with the carry on anymore.

G-Money

I just had an idea! Start an internet dating site for those who are fed-up of internet dating sites :pac:

stargazer 68

G-Money wrote: »

I just had an idea! Start an internet dating site for those who are fed-up of internet dating sites :pac:

What shall we call it?

liz2

andreac wrote: »

Thanks Gatecrash. The thing is ive been online dating for a good while now i can honestly say the majority of the men on it are all the same. I have met 2 really nice decent guys but the spark just wasnt there, pity, its always the way.
Thats me done with it anyway, this last person was my final chance with it and it was the same story so i cant be bothered with the carry on anymore.

Meh, i know all about meeting weirdo's, nice people, sparks and no sparks, being ignored etc...:rolleyes:
Meet your sister!!
But im still being a gluten for punishment, and giving online dating another chance.. god only knows why im sticking with it! But you'd never know..;)

G-Money

Dovies wrote: »

What shall we call it?

F*** Internet Dating?

liz2

G-Money wrote: »

F*** Internet Dating?

too right!! :P

That_Guy

Seemingly changed my profile whilst intoxicated last night. Had a few messages this morning enquiring about Toffee Crisps.

I soon copped why.

If you need to know anything else or if you'd like your chance to win a Toffee Crisp, feel free to shoot me a message.

was at the end of my profile. :pac:

I_am_LOST

I just joined POF. I uploaded pics but they are on private. How do I attach them when messaging people? I don't want them public but don't mind sending them to people but can't figure out how!

andreac

I_am_LOST wrote: »

I just joined POF. I uploaded pics but they are on private. How do I attach them when messaging people? I don't want them public but don't mind sending them to people but can't figure out how!

Theres an option at the bottom of your message to attach the pics that are your profile, you just click whichever ones you want to attach.

2 Miles From Narnia

G-Money wrote: »

F*** Internet Dating?

That might give off the wrong impression and attract people who are less interested in the internet dating and more interested in just the other part of the name :cool:

LegacyUser

sharper wrote: »

So I hear but I'm a nerd that would prefer reading a book to a night out. There's no edge there.

C'mon man, I dont mean to give you a hard time or anything but how is calling yourself "a nerd" gonna help? Dont put labels on yourself, especially bad ones. If you walk around calling yourself a nerd then people will treat you as such.

Long Time Reader.... First time poster.. wrote: »

lads,

i'm not one to post alot of stuff on this site but, i think i may be able to assist some guys here. in my experience of internet dating. (which is, a couple of dates, some flings and currently now kind of in a relationship.. early stages) your best to stay away from compliments and even suggestions of compliments. As you know, you need to stand out from the crowd!

I tend to ask the most random type of questions possible. ie. (what type of super-power would you have, If ants were the same size as us. Do you think we could train them?) I know these are stupid questions but you can learn alot from there answers which in turn will lead to conversations and messages back and fourth. Try be quirky, (if your naturally a bit funny, well then internet dating and the whole messaging conversations will be easier!)

Hope this helps some guys...

Spot on.

andreac wrote: »

Why do people do this?? Is it really that hard to send even a one liner that they arent interested in meeting up again, why ignore people??

So thats me done now with it, same story every bloody time!!

Sorry to hear that, you sound genuine. Like I said basic manners seems to be out the window when it comes to online dating. If its any consolation what that guy did says more about him and his lack of character than it could ever say about you.

Maguined

Mr.Guest wrote: »

C'mon man, I dont mean to give you a hard time or anything but how is calling yourself "a nerd" gonna help? Dont put labels on yourself, especially bad ones. If you walk around calling yourself a nerd then people will treat you as such.

Maybe because not everyone thinks being a nerd is a negative thing, I am a giant nerd and plenty of women have told me my nerdy humour is what they like about me so it doesn't make sense go hide it as that is who I am so might as well be honest and upfront to women on dating sites. Why lie?

AnnyHallsal

Maguined wrote: »

Maybe because not everyone thinks being a nerd is a negative thing, I am a giant nerd and plenty of women have told me my nerdy humour is what they like about me so it doesn't make sense go hide it as that is who I am so might as well be honest and upfront to women on dating sites. Why lie?

Yes. We heart nerds

parker kent

I'm loving the nerd love here :pac:

Samich

Anyone been on any dates recently?

sharper

Mr.Guest wrote: »

C'mon man, I dont mean to give you a hard time or anything but how is calling yourself "a nerd" gonna help? Dont put labels on yourself, especially bad ones. If you walk around calling yourself a nerd then people will treat you as such.

As mentioned by other folks, I consider the term descriptive not negative There are those who would likely use it as an insult but their lack of approval doesn't bother me. I'm not really sure what "treating me as a nerd" would look like, maybe it would be hiring me to write software which is what they did?

I mention it because different people are looking for different things and how people approach others should reflect that. Presenting myself as having "an edge" in order to attract women will only attract women I'm not compatible with.

Kinski

With all this nerd-talk, I feel the need to mention that nerd is a really ugly little word, quite apart from what it means. Just listen to how it sounds. If people are going to "take back the name" or whatever, please opt for a better one than nerd.

Maguined

Kinski wrote: »

With all this nerd-talk, I feel the need to mention that nerd is a really ugly little word, quite apart from what it means. Just listen to how it sounds. If people are going to "take back the name" or whatever, please opt for a better one than nerd.

I like the word nerd, definitely prefer it to geek or dork. Not to mention there was those freaky awesome little candy sweets called Nerds. They were cool.

Kinski

Maguined wrote: »

I like the word nerd, definitely prefer it to geek or dork. Not to mention there was those freaky awesome little candy sweets called Nerds. They were cool.

How do you feel about dweeb? That was a sweet too.