Online Dating

Maguined

Kinski wrote: »

How do you feel about dweeb? That was a sweet too.

Ha yeah, definitely prefer nerd to dweeb.

parker kent

Kinski wrote: »

With all this nerd-talk, I feel the need to mention that nerd is a really ugly little word, quite apart from what it means. Just listen to how it sounds. If people are going to "take back the name" or whatever, please opt for a better one than nerd.

You feel that way because of the associations you have with the word. No word sounds "ugly". You have just heard it used in ugly connotations. Plenty of people around the world happily call themselves nerds and openly admit to being attracted to nerds.

stupidusername

I was going to say i'm a bit of a nerd, and I like nerds. it's much about your attitude towards things though. i mean if you're going to say I don't like such and such a type, it's probably because of an image of that 'type' that you've built up in your own head, not necessarily because that's the way it is, or the way other people see it.

Kinski

parker kent wrote: »

You feel that way because of the associations you have with the word. No word sounds "ugly". You have just heard it used in ugly connotations. Plenty of people around the world happily call themselves nerds and openly admit to being attracted to nerds.

*Ahem* pulchritudinous, which is complementary but sounds awful. I also hate the word victuals for reasons that have nothing to do with what it means. Maybe with nerd it is just the associations.

sharper

Kinski wrote: »

*Ahem* pulchritudinous, which is complementary but sounds awful. I also hate the word victuals for reasons that have nothing to do with what it means. Maybe with nerd it is just the associations.

Going with the classic American terminology "jock" is not a pleasant word either. I'm afraid that if we want beautiful sounding words we'll all have to learn French.

Samich

Anyone have any dates over the weekend?

liz2

Samich wrote: »

Anyone have any dates over the weekend?

i was meant to have one today, but because of the weather we had to postpone as it was an outdoorsy one..!
anyone else any luck?

Awful_Bliss

I had one on Friday. Went well but I have a bad feeling it's going to end up like the last good one when she said there was no chemistry - clearly there was!

cyrusdvirus

First date set up for Tuesday. Eek!!

lydsie

great to hear all your stories. Makes me chuckle but inspirational at the same time. I am in the same boat! Back living in the west after being abroad for almost 2 years and studying part time. So all my friends have either immigrated/travelling or had babies. so my social circle has disappeared!! Well i have lots of lunch, coffee and christening outing but not exactly where u will meet a perspective date or other single people!! So what are the options... pubs...possibly when I have a recruit.. but in a small town u know most people and have hooked up before.. or they/u are just not keen!! Social groups? mmm... not to many here.. can join a training group for a triathlon once they start again... so maybe online dating? I find it all so shallow... it turns me shallow! I judge people by their profile pic.. and i'm sure guys do the same to me...

i'm so hypocritical about the whole thing... while i don;t want a guy to go out with me just cause they think i'm reasonably attractive... but that is exactly what i do on a dating site!! I think I need help!!

lydsie

nice one, exciting gatecrash.

Maguined

lydsie wrote: »

i'm so hypocritical about the whole thing... while i don;t want a guy to go out with me just cause they think i'm reasonably attractive... but that is exactly what i do on a dating site!! I think I need help!!

What makes that different than real life dating? If a man sees you in a pub and walks up to you and asks you out he is only doing that because he thinks you are reasonably attractive. Online or offline people will only be interested in people they find attractive, it is not shallow in the least as attraction is an important part of a relationship. I wouldn't want to go out with someone who was not physically attracted to me at all.

Dord

Had a date earlier and it seemed to go ok. I'll see what comes of it, if anything...

Panthro

I'm still messaging that girl from Dublin I was on about here about a week ago, have to say we are getting on really well. I'm going to have to make some move though, I fear I may be nearing the dreaded "virtual friend zone!":pac:

C.D.

Panthro wrote: »

I'm still messaging that girl from Dublin I was on about here about a week ago, have to say we are getting on really well. I'm going to have to make some move though, I fear I may be nearing the dreaded "virtual friend zone!":pac:

I think you should. Unless of course it is the girl I'm talking to, in which case you should f*** off

Been emailing and texting out-of-my-league girl. Her looks are what attracted me first (she's the best looking girl on PoF imo) but my god her personality/intellect set my world on fire. She's got brains to burn and ticks every box I've ever had on my list. The whole thing smacks of "too good to be true" so I am a little wary. Going to ask her out on a date tonight, fingers crossed. Hope our chemistry is this good IRL. I also hope she is not a boardsie who might read this!

stargazer 68

sharper wrote: »

So I hear but I'm a nerd that would prefer reading a book to a night out. There's no edge there.

.

if you prefer a book than a night out then dating in general is not for you!

liz2

Panthro wrote: »

I'm still messaging that girl from Dublin I was on about here about a week ago, have to say we are getting on really well. I'm going to have to make some move though, I fear I may be nearing the dreaded "virtual friend zone!":pac:

That happened to me a few months back, chatting and getting on great with this guy but after a few weeks there was still no mention of a date and i felt it had hit the 'friend zone'! so i stopped mailing him
Anyways, we got back in contact last week & we're texting now..was meant to have a date yterday but had to postpone..
But get in there man!!

sharper

Dovies wrote: »

if you prefer a book than a night out then dating in general is not for you!

Oh I agree I'm very much out of my element but I'm basically a weirdo looking for same.

C.D.

sharper wrote: »

I'm basically a weirdo looking for same.

This should be your Headline.

stargazer 68

Lots of tales on this thread good and bad and I have contributed to both! :rolleyes:
Does anyone, or is it just me, get fed up with the whole thing? Dating, or trying to, in general? Having just spent another weekend in the house it really gets to me sometimes.

Maybe Im the only one but do you ever look at someone (a relation or whatever) and think 'how the hell did they ever meet someone and I can't'? Im thinking of specific people I know and without going into specifics I really don't know how they have ever met anyone in the first place and then managed to maintain a relationship!!

Im just feeling sorry for myself today!!

cyrusdvirus

Dovies wrote: »

Lots of tales on this thread good and bad and I have contributed to both! :rolleyes:
Does anyone, or is it just me, get fed up with the whole thing? Dating, or trying to, in general? Having just spent another weekend in the house it really gets to me sometimes.

Maybe Im the only one but do you ever look at someone (a relation or whatever) and think 'how the hell did they ever meet someone and I can't'? Im thinking of specific people I know and without going into specifics I really don't know how they have ever met anyone in the first place and then managed to maintain a relationship!!

Im just feeling sorry for myself today!!

I think we all have those days from time to time. My most recent birthday was one. My parents, who live about 3 miles away from me, are currently visiting my brother, and announced 2 days before my birthday that they are probably going to stay with him for Christmas, my younger sister, who lives with them was out with her boyfriend, my older sister never even rang, and my friends were all playing football, but i was injured so couldn't go. So on my birthday i got one card, a couple of texts, but didn't get to see anyone!

It's not just dating that people can get fed up with.

2 weeks later I've a first date tmrw!!

lydsie

Maguined wrote: »

What makes that different than real life dating? If a man sees you in a pub and walks up to you and asks you out he is only doing that because he thinks you are reasonably attractive. Online or offline people will only be interested in people they find attractive, it is not shallow in the least as attraction is an important part of a relationship. I wouldn't want to go out with someone who was not physically attracted to me at all.

I know what u mean aright. Obviously you have to find them attractive but many of the guys I have dated in the past had I just seen just a pic I might not have been to interested. Because their charm and personality shone through made them more attractive in my eyes. Same with really hot guys.. after 5 mins I might think they are not so hot as they are as dull as dishwater!

lydsie

Dovies wrote: »

if you prefer a book than a night out then dating in general is not for you!

lol! i am almost in danger of slipping into this group!! Dating is painful... but i like meeting people books are great

Kinski

Dovies wrote: »

Lots of tales on this thread good and bad and I have contributed to both! :rolleyes:
Does anyone, or is it just me, get fed up with the whole thing? Dating, or trying to, in general? Having just spent another weekend in the house it really gets to me sometimes.

Yes.

Maybe Im the only one but do you ever look at someone (a relation or whatever) and think 'how the hell did they ever meet someone and I can't'? Im thinking of specific people I know and without going into specifics I really don't know how they have ever met anyone in the first place and then managed to maintain a relationship!!

Yes again. Tbh I think that about virtually everyone I know though.

I think you have to take fairly regular breaks from this online lark, or else it just becomes a bit of a grind of first dates that end up going nowhere (well, mostly that's been my experience!) Chin up, and all that.

liz2

Dovies wrote: »

Lots of tales on this thread good and bad and I have contributed to both! :rolleyes:
Does anyone, or is it just me, get fed up with the whole thing? Dating, or trying to, in general? Having just spent another weekend in the house it really gets to me sometimes.

Im just feeling sorry for myself today!!

Yeah i know, ive just been thinking the same
Sometimes i want to keep going, dating & meeting new people but then it drains me when it keeps going haywire :rolleyes:

G-Money

Dovies wrote: »

Lots of tales on this thread good and bad and I have contributed to both! :rolleyes:
Does anyone, or is it just me, get fed up with the whole thing? Dating, or trying to, in general? Having just spent another weekend in the house it really gets to me sometimes.

Maybe Im the only one but do you ever look at someone (a relation or whatever) and think 'how the hell did they ever meet someone and I can't'? Im thinking of specific people I know and without going into specifics I really don't know how they have ever met anyone in the first place and then managed to maintain a relationship!!

Im just feeling sorry for myself today!!

I get this quite often. I see people living in sin or married and I think to myself "how/when am I ever going to meet someone so I can do the same?"

I don't see myself getting married. Not because I don't want to, I do want to get married. I just never seem to meet anyone and last time I checked, that's sort of still required.

Bobby42

I've been trying out OK Cupid for the passed few weeks, I sent one girl I found interesting a message a few days ago but zero reply. Thought I made the message I sent her interesting but to no avail.
I don't get the whole not replying thing - a simple thanks but no thanks would at least let you know where you stand.
Oh well, back to my non existent love life.

zuroph

Bobby42 wrote: »

I've been trying out OK Cupid for the passed few weeks, I sent one girl I found interesting a message a few days ago but zero reply. Thought I made the message I sent her interesting but to no avail.
I don't get the whole not replying thing - a simple thanks but no thanks would at least let you know where you stand.
Oh well, back to my non existent love life.

you'd be surprised, sometimes the thanks but no thanks sting more the no replies, you get used to.

Fluorescence

Bobby42 wrote: »

I've been trying out OK Cupid for the passed few weeks, I sent one girl I found interesting a message a few days ago but zero reply. Thought I made the message I sent her interesting but to no avail.
I don't get the whole not replying thing - a simple thanks but no thanks would at least let you know where you stand.
Oh well, back to my non existent love life.

Some people take the "Thanks but no thanks," thing extremely personally and can get abusive about it, unfortunately. So if a girl doesn't reply to your message, it's probably because she's had a bad experience letting people down gently online in the past.

Samich

Bobby42 wrote: »

Oh well, back to my non existent love life.

You're not the only one.