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Online Dating

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    #8702
    C.D.
    Registered Users Posts: 670 ✭✭✭C.D.


    Just had my date there- thought it went pretty well. Lots of chatting, laughter and flirting. Very positive body language and non-platonic conversation. Liked her a lot.

    Text 20 minutes after the date saying that she'd like to leave it there. Oh well, I am evidently nowhere near as good at reading people as I thought I was :(


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    #8703
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    Well I've joined up again, how I hate it.


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    #8704
    G-Money
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,199 ✭✭✭G-Money


    C.D. wrote: »
    Just had my date there- thought it went pretty well. Lots of chatting, laughter and flirting. Very positive body language and non-platonic conversation. Liked her a lot.

    Text 20 minutes after the date saying that she'd like to leave it there. Oh well, I am evidently nowhere near as good at reading people as I thought I was :(

    Bummer dude, I know the feeling unfortunately. F*** it. If it were me I either wouldn't reply or if I did, I'd let it come across like I couldn't give two f***s.

    Onwards and upwards.


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    #8705
    liz2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 240 ✭✭liz2


    C.D. wrote: »
    Just had my date there- thought it went pretty well. Lots of chatting, laughter and flirting. Very positive body language and non-platonic conversation. Liked her a lot.

    Text 20 minutes after the date saying that she'd like to leave it there. Oh well, I am evidently nowhere near as good at reading people as I thought I was :(

    Ah sugar, im sorry to hear that :(
    You'd assume by the way they're talking to you, body language etc.. that they're interested :confused:
    Onwards and upwards eh ;)


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    #8706
    liz2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 240 ✭✭liz2


    newbee22 wrote: »
    There might be lots of potential people online tonight for us staying in! *I can live in hope!* Enjoy yer dates people:)


    You can have them all girl!...ive given up :pac:


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    #8707
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    liz2 wrote: »
    You can have them all girl!...ive given up :pac:

    Come to me ;) :pac: It's a hard life :P


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    #8708
    phoenix833
    Registered Users Posts: 211 ✭✭phoenix833


    C.D. wrote: »
    Just had my date there- thought it went pretty well. Lots of chatting, laughter and flirting. Very positive body language and non-platonic conversation. Liked her a lot.

    Text 20 minutes after the date saying that she'd like to leave it there. Oh well, I am evidently nowhere near as good at reading people as I thought I was :(

    Hard luck C.D. It would've been good to see the nice guy come first for a change.

    And I'm not trying to patronise you, you seem like a genuine and decent bloke from what I've been reading and there were a few of us on here rooting for ya!


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    #8709
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    C.D. wrote: »
    Just had my date there- thought it went pretty well. Lots of chatting, laughter and flirting. Very positive body language and non-platonic conversation. Liked her a lot.

    Text 20 minutes after the date saying that she'd like to leave it there. Oh well, I am evidently nowhere near as good at reading people as I thought I was :(

    phoenix833 wrote: »
    Hard luck C.D. It would've been good to see the nice guy come first for a change.

    And I'm not trying to patronise you, you seem like a genuine and decent bloke from what I've been reading and there were a few of us on here rooting for ya!

    To be fair to the girl, at least she was upfront and didn't give him the mess around. Sometimes you're just not attracted to the other person.


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    #8710
    phoenix833
    Registered Users Posts: 211 ✭✭phoenix833


    Larianne wrote: »
    C.D. wrote: »
    Just had my date there- thought it went pretty well. Lots of chatting, laughter and flirting. Very positive body language and non-platonic conversation. Liked her a lot.

    Text 20 minutes after the date saying that she'd like to leave it there. Oh well, I am evidently nowhere near as good at reading people as I thought I was :(

    phoenix833 wrote: »
    Hard luck C.D. It would've been good to see the nice guy come first for a change.

    And I'm not trying to patronise you, you seem like a genuine and decent bloke from what I've been reading and there were a few of us on here rooting for ya!

    To be fair to the girl, at least she was upfront and didn't give him the mess around. Sometimes you're just not attracted to the other person.

    And that's why I said hard luck. My post never mentioned the girl or implied she was a bad person or anything!


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    #8711
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    phoenix833 wrote: »
    And that's why I said hard luck. My post never mentioned the girl or implied she was a bad person or anything!

    Ah, my posts was in reply to both posts. I agree with your hard luck comment.

    Main thing with online dating do not see it as the only way of meeting people. See it as an add-on. You need to put yourself out there from beyond the computer screen too. :)


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    #8712
    LighterGuy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    Larianne wrote: »
    To be fair to the girl, at least she was upfront and didn't give him the mess around. Sometimes you're just not attracted to the other person.

    Define up front ;)
    Saying it to a persons face (on the date) or waiting 20 mins after both have departed, to say the truth ;) ... Its still cowardly. I mean after all, how much can change in 20 mins ;) (She knew on the date)
    C.D. wrote: »
    Just had my date there- thought it went pretty well. Lots of chatting, laughter and flirting. Very positive body language and non-platonic conversation. Liked her a lot.

    Text 20 minutes after the date saying that she'd like to leave it there. Oh well, I am evidently nowhere near as good at reading people as I thought I was :(

    F**k her dude.
    If she is not into you. Thats life. But, cut the cord. No contact in the future. Not that she is likely to contact you soon.

    To hell with her :)


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    #8713
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    LighterGuy wrote: »
    Define up front ;)
    Saying it to a persons face (on the date) or waiting 20 mins after both have departed, to say the truth ;) ... Its still cowardly. I mean after all, how much can change in 20 mins ;) (She knew on the date)

    Not really. She might have been on the fence about it. Or, maybe she preferred to say it by text afterwards since it was the first time she had met the guy and didn't want to get into a confrontation.

    Compared to how others (both guys and girls) have treated peeople online and on dates, I think it was pretty decent of her.


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    #8714
    LighterGuy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    Larianne wrote: »
    Not really. She might have been on the fence about it. Or, maybe she preferred to say it by text afterwards since it was the first time she had met the guy and didn't want to get into a confrontation.

    Compared to how others (both guys and girls) have treated peeople online and on dates, I think it was pretty decent of her.


    See, thats the thing. She did text him. So it shows decency. No one can say otherwise as she could of just blanked him until he got the message.

    But dont be naive to think she felt "different" afterwards. She knew while on the date. My point is just call a spade a spade. Granted, she was alright to finish the date. No one is saying anything bad here.


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    #8715
    C.D.
    Registered Users Posts: 670 ✭✭✭C.D.


    Thanks guys. Made me feel better reading all your messages of support. Went out dancing with friends after (sober) but my heart was not in it. Stupid girls being all pretty and smelling nice!
    G-Money wrote: »
    Bummer dude, I know the feeling unfortunately. F*** it. If it were me I either wouldn't reply or if I did, I'd let it come across like I couldn't give two f***s.

    Onwards and upwards.

    Quick message to say I liked her and that I'd see her around sometime. But yeah would have been nice to send off an angry message, but I pride myself on being courteous and respectful.
    liz2 wrote: »
    Ah sugar, im sorry to hear that :(
    You'd assume by the way they're talking to you, body language etc.. that they're interested :confused:
    Onwards and upwards eh ;)

    Date was about 4 hours in length and she had plenty of opportunity to leave if she had wanted. And lots of innuendo and suggestive comments (more so her than me). So yeah :confused: indeed! At least she was good enough to clear, concise and honest instead of messing me about.
    phoenix833 wrote: »
    Hard luck C.D. It would've been good to see the nice guy come first for a change.

    Thanks, yes unfortunately I am one of the nice ones. As much as I hate it and had hoped I had left it behind in my teens, I can say without exception that I have always gotten better results playing "the game" than being upfront and honest which is a sad reflection on the Irish dating dynamic. Not that I have ever screwed anyone around, but the whole acting disinterested, never giving compliments etc.
    Larianne wrote: »
    To be fair to the girl, at least she was upfront and didn't give him the mess around. Sometimes you're just not attracted to the other person.

    To her credit, she seems like a genuine nice girl. After psycho-analysis of all our conversations, my conclusion is thus: She is an extremely genuine and nice girl. However she was a shy awkward teenager and never got much attention from guys. Upon entering her twenties (she is a few years younger than me) she realised that in fact she was smoking hot but is still exploring and coming to terms with it. She definitely likes male attention and knows how to get it. Nothing wrong with that and she is not malicious about it, maybe a bit naive. More fool me for letting myself get sucked in and reading too much into her body language. As I said, from the start the whole thing smacked of too good to be true. And she was a non-drinker, *sigh*.

    In other news- I've asked a girl out for a spontaneous date tonight/tomorrow that I have been emailing for the last week. So I'll report back if I get another date. Oddly enough, I think she too is way better looking than me. The girls who I think I would have a better chance with don't seem to respond!

    Would some female boardsies be able to take a look at my PoF profile? The reason I ask is that I have written it in a particular style but have not given much information about myself. Perhaps it is making it difficult for girls to strike up conversation with me? Or maybe the style is completely off putting. Intelligence is the biggest personality trait I am after, so hopefully my writing style will attract that. If it puts others off that's fine.


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    #8716
    C.D.
    Registered Users Posts: 670 ✭✭✭C.D.


    Samich wrote: »
    Well I've joined up again, how I hate it.

    Checks out new users on PoF heheh..


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    #8717
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    Sorry to hear about your date C.D. It's always that little bit harder to swallow when you are punching above your weight, so to speak, and she decides it isn't happening. Or at least I find it harder!!


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    #8718
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    Didn't want to put this in the other post but my D2 will most probably be leading to D3. :-)


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    #8719
    G-Money
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,199 ✭✭✭G-Money


    Actually C.D. I didn't mean to send off an angry reply. I just meant if you did send a reply, let it come across like you're not exactly going to be playing "Cry me a river" by Justin Timberlake over and over on your iPod :)

    For me, if someone rejected me, the last thing I'd want them to know is that it bothered me, even if it did. Although I guess it depends on how they are as a person and how long you've been dating them or whatever.


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    #8720
    Galwayguy35
    Registered Users Posts: 16,552 ✭✭✭✭Galwayguy35


    Im on 2 sites at the moment. I used to be on a paid site but not anymore, i think if someone likes you it doesnt matter if the site is free and and the paid sites just exploit a persons need to find someone to make money for themselves. I met my ex thru a dating site and although it didnt work out i have been on some dates since. Its a slow process to find the right person but i think internet dating is fast becoming the way to find a partner.


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    #8721
    newbee22
    Registered Users Posts: 937 ✭✭✭newbee22


    CD I really liked your profile when i saw it, its diffferent and stands out, but saying that i am highly intelligent so i would like the profile!:p


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    #8722
    G-Money
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,199 ✭✭✭G-Money


    I might go back on a site eventually, but not for the time being.


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    #8723
    liz2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 240 ✭✭liz2


    G-Money wrote: »
    I might go back on a site eventually, but not for the time being.


    I deleted my pof account the other day, but im thinking maybe if i tried a different site i may have better luck :rolleyes::)


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    #8724
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi guys.
    Glad to see so many people getting dates!
    I joined eHarmony and have my profile filled out with original information.
    I dont have a photo up but I explain in my profile that I will send on photos in an email, that I'm not in a relationship and I'm happy with my appearance.

    For the first day I got a good few communications but it has stopped.
    I sent an 'ice breaker' to a guy without a photo who felt the same way about the photo thing. What he wrote down in his date request described me to a T so was expecting him to reply, but he didn't. The only thing I can think of is I am 5 years older than him and we don't live in the same city.
    What do people think? Would a 30-year-old male date a 35-year-old woman?

    As someone else wrote I would only consider 5% of my matches and this is the only match that seems to strike a chord with me.


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    #8725
    2 Miles From Narnia
    Closed Accounts Posts: 188 ✭✭2 Miles From Narnia


    gatecrash wrote: »
    Didn't want to put this in the other post but my D2 will most probably be leading to D3. :-)


    Woohooo! Good for you! :)


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    #8726
    liz2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 240 ✭✭liz2


    gatecrash wrote: »
    Didn't want to put this in the other post but my D2 will most probably be leading to D3. :-)

    Your passing me out now gc!! Go you :D
    It'll now just be ME & The Mods left......:P


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    #8727
    C.D.
    Registered Users Posts: 670 ✭✭✭C.D.


    gatecrash wrote: »
    Didn't want to put this in the other post but my D2 will most probably be leading to D3. :-)

    Good stuff :) I hereby officially mandate Panthro to go forth today, have a successful date and report back to us. But not so successful that he no longer contributes to this thread :D


    PS. I think I have a date tonight with this other girl. Maybe tomorrow depending on schedules.


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    #8728
    liz2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 240 ✭✭liz2


    C.D. wrote: »
    Good stuff :) I hereby officially mandate Panthro to go forth today, have a successful date and report back to us. But not so successful that he no longer contributes to this thread :D


    PS. I think I have a date tonight with this other girl. Maybe tomorrow depending on schedules.

    Ah sure you're dead right.. get back on the bike! :D


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    #8729
    G-Money
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,199 ✭✭✭G-Money


    liz2 wrote: »
    Your passing me out now gc!! Go you :D
    It'll now just be ME & The Mods left......:P

    I'm still walking amongst the tumbleweeds of singledom myself don't forget!


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    #8730
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    Well I managed to read that one SPECTACULARLY wrong!!! :D


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    #8731
    phoenix833
    Registered Users Posts: 211 ✭✭phoenix833


    I've been on POF about two months at this stage and I haven't had a single date yet. I did have one planned but a few days before it she text me saying that she had to move home (which is actually closer to me than where we had arranged to meet!) for family reasons. But she's still online and has changed her profile. Go figure!

    I don't seem to have much problem getting a reply to my initial message, I probably have about a 60-70% reply rate but most of the replys don't give me much to work with so then if I can't come up with another good question to warrant a reply it's then me who seems like a boring guy! But there's only so much you can do with "haha yeah you should try it some time" especially when their profile is pretty basic as well.

    I do put in a big enough effort in my messages, try to be different and interesting but it doesn't work too well obviously.

    I'm not sure whether to stick with it or give it a break for a while. Everybody who has been getting dates lately has given me a sense of hope but I'm not counting on it!


This discussion has been closed.
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