Online Dating

C.D. · 30-10-2011 12:27pm

gatecrash wrote: »

Well I managed to read that one SPECTACULARLY wrong!!!

Haha oh dear. That makes two of us so! Not looking good for Panthro eh?! Sucks, sorry to hear that. Bizarre how two people can have totally different impressions of a date.

2 Miles From Narnia · 30-10-2011 12:29pm

C.D. wrote: »

Haha oh dear. That makes two of us so! Not looking good for Panthro eh?! Sucks, sorry to hear that. Bizarre how two people can have totally different impressions of a date.

Sorry to hear that you two. I even had my hat picked out for the weddings!

G-Money · 30-10-2011 12:35pm

2 Miles From Narnia wrote: »

Sorry to hear that you two. I even had my hat picked out for the weddings!

Aren't you banned yet??? :P

2 Miles From Narnia · 30-10-2011 12:37pm

G-Money wrote: »

Aren't you banned yet??? :P

Am I not allowed lurk and encourage from the sidelines???

G-Money · 30-10-2011 12:43pm

2 Miles From Narnia wrote: »

Am I not allowed lurk and encourage from the sidelines???

Nope. Non-single girls are supposed to be locked up with no internet access so us single guys don't accidentally think we have a chance with them :P

Galwayguy35 · 30-10-2011 3:01pm

phoenix833 wrote: »

I've been on POF about two months at this stage and I haven't had a single date yet. I did have one planned but a few days before it she text me saying that she had to move home (which is actually closer to me than where we had arranged to meet!) for family reasons. But she's still online and has changed her profile. Go figure!

I don't seem to have much problem getting a reply to my initial message, I probably have about a 60-70% reply rate but most of the replys don't give me much to work with so then if I can't come up with another good question to warrant a reply it's then me who seems like a boring guy! But there's only so much you can do with "haha yeah you should try it some time" especially when their profile is pretty basic as well.

I do put in a big enough effort in my messages, try to be different and interesting but it doesn't work too well obviously.

I'm not sure whether to stick with it or give it a break for a while. Everybody who has been getting dates lately has given me a sense of hope but I'm not counting on it!

Dont give up. I think everyone has experiences that leave them downhearted. I was chatting and mailing a Dublin girl a while back and we were getting on great. I drove up to see her and she stood me up, never heard from her again. There are people that will treat you bad but lots of genuine folks out there as well.

C.D. · 30-10-2011 8:22pm

phoenix833 wrote: »

I don't seem to have much problem getting a reply to my initial message, I probably have about a 60-70% reply rate but most of the replys don't give me much to work with so then if I can't come up with another good question to warrant a reply it's then me who seems like a boring guy! But there's only so much you can do with "haha yeah you should try it some time" especially when their profile is pretty basic as well.

60-70%?! That is an amazing response rate. Definitely don't give up hope! I get 30%, 1/3 of which are useless one-liners. How long are your replies? One liners and essay length replies would put people off I'd say.

Going for drinks tomorrow with this lady- bit of a shot in the dark as we have only exchanged a few brief emails and she has only one photo, but I thought I'd try the other extreme after OOMLG (we sent more texts and emails in two weeks than I would have in my LTRs).

@Galwayguy35 That girl sounds like a complete cow!

Galwayguy35 · 30-10-2011 10:17pm

C.D. wrote: »

60-70%?! That is an amazing response rate. Definitely don't give up hope! I get 30%, 1/3 of which are useless one-liners. How long are your replies? One liners and essay length replies would put people off I'd say.

Going for drinks tomorrow with this lady- bit of a shot in the dark as we have only exchanged a few brief emails and she has only one photo, but I thought I'd try the other extreme after OOMLG (we sent more texts and emails in two weeks than I would have in my LTRs).

@Galwayguy35 That girl sounds like a complete cow!

Yeah i dont know why people cant be honest. Travelling 200 miles to be stood up.

G-Money · 30-10-2011 10:20pm

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Yeah i dont know why people cant be honest. Travelling 200 miles to be stood up.

Did you ask her where she was and did she know you showed up? If not, I'd say nothing and if she ever gets in touch, I'd just say something like "Ah I changed my mind and didn't go in the end, sorry"

Galwayguy35 · 30-10-2011 10:30pm

G-Money wrote: »

Did you ask her where she was and did she know you showed up? If not, I'd say nothing and if she ever gets in touch, I'd just say something like "Ah I changed my mind and didn't go in the end, sorry"

We agreed to meet on O Connell Street. I txted to say i was there. Then i rang but no answer. Tried a few more times to ring her but no response i headed back to the wild west.

magneticimpulse · 30-10-2011 10:36pm

C.D. wrote: »

To her credit, she seems like a genuine nice girl. After psycho-analysis of all our conversations, my conclusion is thus: She is an extremely genuine and nice girl. However she was a shy awkward teenager and never got much attention from guys. Upon entering her twenties (she is a few years younger than me) she realised that in fact she was smoking hot but is still exploring and coming to terms with it. She definitely likes male attention and knows how to get it. Nothing wrong with that and she is not malicious about it, maybe a bit naive. More fool me for letting myself get sucked in and reading too much into her body language. As I said, from the start the whole thing smacked of too good to be true. And she was a non-drinker, *sigh*.

In other news- I've asked a girl out for a spontaneous date tonight/tomorrow that I have been emailing for the last week. So I'll report back if I get another date. Oddly enough, I think she too is way better looking than me. The girls who I think I would have a better chance with don't seem to respond!

Would some female boardsies be able to take a look at my PoF profile? The reason I ask is that I have written it in a particular style but have not given much information about myself. Perhaps it is making it difficult for girls to strike up conversation with me? Or maybe the style is completely off putting. Intelligence is the biggest personality trait I am after, so hopefully my writing style will attract that. If it puts others off that's fine.

I can relate to your impression of this girl...awkward teen years, only realising in 20s that shes not that bad looking. The being naive about male attention I can understand as well...pretty much sounds like you described me.

That said, I admire that she was upfront and honest. Ive heard stories about girls being rude and leaving 30 minutes after a date. So at least she stuck around for the 4 hours.

I dont make a big song and dance about it, as people have complained about my "online dating experience" before. But surfice to say, I totally understand the feeling of thinking the date went really well but it didnt for the other person.

The comment you made about "Oddly enough I think she is way better than me"....struck a cord with me. There is being attracted to someone, but I would never rate their looks. Im either attracted or not to that person! Also why should an attractive person be any less of potential dating material than a not so attractive person?? They could equally be just as nice, have just as big personalities etc. Maybe dont be so quick to judge a book by its cover.

Maybe you should have more fate in yourself, about your looks etc. I think with the right positive approach and practise it is possible to get on with anyone on a date and turn it into D2, D3 etc.

hollypink · 30-10-2011 10:39pm

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

We agreed to meet on O Connell Street. I txted to say i was there. Then i rang but no answer. Tried a few more times to ring her but no response i headed back to the wild west.

What a horrible thing to do, standing someone up without explanation is bad enough (happened to me once) but to let you travel all that way.

magneticimpulse · 30-10-2011 11:08pm

thats really horrible galwayguy35. i could say o'connell st is a big place and she might not have seen you...but you obviously said you tried to call her. i assume it was some time back and that she hasnt been in touch to give an explanation??

ive been reading about others saying to go for dates long distance on here (across country etc)...when you hear stories like this it would make you think twice.

thou i think in this day and age with mobile phones that i would like to think most people would be decent if they couldnt make the date and ohone. i would like to think this is a rare occurence....thou if it makes you feel better i have quite some female friends who make a habit of canceling meetings at the last minute....some people seem to think its ok just to not show up with no notice!

sure i heard great things about galway girls...im sure theres plenty you could find there that would never dream of standing you up on a date

Samich · 31-10-2011 1:44am

magneticimpulse wrote: »

thats really horrible galwayguy35. i could say o'connell st is a big place and she might not have seen you...but you obviously said you tried to call her. i assume it was some time back and that she hasnt been in touch to give an explanation??

ive been reading about others saying to go for dates long distance on here (across country etc)...when you hear stories like this it would make you think twice.

thou i think in this day and age with mobile phones that i would like to think most people would be decent if they couldnt make the date and ohone. i would like to think this is a rare occurence....thou if it makes you feel better i have quite some female friends who make a habit of canceling meetings at the last minute....some people seem to think its ok just to not show up with no notice!

sure i heard great things about galway girls...im sure theres plenty you could find there that would never dream of standing you up on a date

In my time on pof, I haven't been able to get a convo or anything going with a Galway girl, they seem snobbish, maybe people from other counties might differ.

Also can't wait til I'm a 30 something singleton, all the hot women in their 30's :P :pac: My god :P

Galwayguy35 · 31-10-2011 4:34am

Samich wrote: »

In my time on pof, I haven't been able to get a convo or anything going with a Galway girl, they seem snobbish, maybe people from other counties might differ.

Also can't wait til I'm a 30 something singleton, all the hot women in their 30's :P :pac: My god :P

Nothing great about being a thirtysomething singleton

C.D. · 31-10-2011 5:23am

magneticimpulse wrote: »

The comment you made about "Oddly enough I think she is way better than me"....struck a cord with me. There is being attracted to someone, but I would never rate their looks. Im either attracted or not to that person! Also why should an attractive person be any less of potential dating material than a not so attractive person?? They could equally be just as nice, have just as big personalities etc. Maybe dont be so quick to judge a book by its cover.

Most couples tend to be of similar attractiveness- indeed several posters on this thread were commenting on how unusual it was to see the exception to the above. An attractive person certainly has no less "potential" than any other. If anything, they probably have more. I am either attracted or not attracted to somebody and am super picky (mostly personality, but physical attraction is a prerequisite). But this girl was far, far more attractive than me. So is this as yet unnamed new one.

From my point of view as an average looking guy, some of my reasons (and I'm sure others might feel the same) for not usually approaching girls waay better looking than me:

1) Nobody likes rejection, especially when you have to build yourself up to approach a really pretty girl. Even worse when you find out she smells nice and is lovely to talk to! :pac:

2) I have limited time and energy- why would I chase girls who am very unlikely to be successful with?

3) There is going to be much more competition for such a girl and if I do "win" and get into a relationship, I will have to devote a lot of time and effort to fending off the hordes of more attractive guys who will inevitably pursue her. It is sad reality of life I have come to accept that a lot of guys will not respect the fact a girl is in a relationship, irrespective of whether said girl has issues keeping her legs closed!

It is not a case of I judge girls based on their looks and make assumptions about their personalities. If anything, the reason I don't approach is to do with my own insecurities. I would be interested in hearing your thoughts as an attractive girl re: are guys intimidated by your looks?

Thanks for your other comments. Aye, indeed sexual attraction is about more than looks, certainly when people move to relationship stage the other things you bring to the table become important (humour, emotion/financial stability etc). I agree that you could be Mr. Charming and win any girl over and believe me I've tried it, but at the end of the day I'd rather be myself and have someone like me for being plain old me!

Panthro · 31-10-2011 8:55am

I had my date yesterday, she seemed nice. Talked for Ireland, but I couldn't decide if I was attracted to her or not. Spent the journey from Dublin to Galway humming and hawwing over the afternoon spent with her.
To be honest, as nice as she was, I don't think she was what I'm looking for.
Which begs the question, what the hell am I looking for exactly?!

This whole being single thing is starting to grate me, its been near on two years at this stage, and I'm not exactly "living the dream" as a singleton. Heck, I can barely remember the last kiss I managed!

I've come to the conclusion I'm definitely going wrong somewhere along the line.
Just not exactly sure where yet...balls.

Pembily · 31-10-2011 9:57am

C.D if you think she's too attractive for you, that will come across! Yes couples tend to be of similar attractiveness levels BUT its only in your mind that she's out of your league, heck she might the the same but in reverse! Relax and you're only as hot as you feel...

Pabthro you'll know who you want when you see / kiss her, it will happen

Maguined · 31-10-2011 10:18am

C.D. wrote: »

3) There is going to be much more competition for such a girl and if I do "win" and get into a relationship, I will have to devote a lot of time and effort to fending off the hordes of more attractive guys who will inevitably pursue her. It is sad reality of life I have come to accept that a lot of guys will not respect the fact a girl is in a relationship, irrespective of whether said girl has issues keeping her legs closed![/INDENT]

Don't agree with fending off hordes of guys at all, if you are with someone you should trust her not to cheat, if you don't trust her then why would you want to be with her?

magneticimpulse · 31-10-2011 10:34am

@ Samich

Im sure there is a girl out there for you. Saying they are snobbish and people from other countries are different is a bad outlook to have. Women are women no matter where they come from. You just need to find some common ground with them.

@ galwayguy35:

single life in your 30s is what you make of it. it has the potential to be great. i think people should be happy with themselves regardless of whether they are in a relationship or not. if someone is unhappy being single, i dont think they will be happier in a relationship....you have to go out there and enjoy life regardless.

@ C.D.

I personally dont rate my attractiveness, but guys and friends tell me im very attractive. As a result from my personal experience I find guys can make assumptions about me and be intimidated by me. I have never rejected a guy, but then guys never come up and talk to me. Lately ive started to talk to them as i found they were just not coming to me.

Your comment "there is so much competition for a girl"??? Really?? I think a girl being single is no different to a guy being single. It gets annoying because guys tell me I must have lots of guys chasing me and sleeping with lots of guys. I then get comments when I say I dont have guys chasing me...they then say: well there must be something wrong with you...the reality of it is im picky and looking for a sensible nerdy guy. But also maybe its because guys are just too intimidated by me without even getting to know me. I personally dont have guys chasing me, because they are too shy to come up to me in the 1st place for fear of rejection...so if I was to get with someone....I dont think he would have to worry about others chasing me...thats the reality for me anyway.

If I am on a dating site, then im in the same boat...single and just looking for a nice guy.

@ Panthro

well your date went well and it is you holding back. so you cant complain that its nearly 2 years/last had a kiss etc. in the same boat...but enjoying the single life. enjoy online dating and getting to meet new people. by going on dates and meeting new people i am sure you will know what your looking for. the only way to find out is to keep up with it

bebostalker · 31-10-2011 1:44pm

Had bad run in with a "real life" girl, liked her and scored on night out and were meant to meet for ages but she was away with work for a while was meant to let me know when back, but then ran into her at the weekend & she acted as if i was a stranger

so back to POF it is, lashed up photo of me in Spiderman costume hopefully that gets some attention :pac:

phoenix833 · 31-10-2011 3:31pm

@magneticimpulse PM sent;)

Samich · 31-10-2011 5:49pm

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Nothing great about being a thirtysomething singleton

What I meant was there are loads of hot 30 somethings, and I have no trouble getting replies from them. Mail people just for the chats as girls my age won't reply :pac:

skeleton_boy · 31-10-2011 6:06pm

Samich wrote: »

What I meant was there are loads of hot 30 somethings, and I have no trouble getting replies from them. Mail people just for the chats as girls my age won't reply :pac:

There's very little girls on dating sites under 25. Outside of Dublin anyway. That's why I deleted my account.

Samich · 31-10-2011 6:48pm

skeleton_boy wrote: »

There's very little girls on dating sites under 25. Outside of Dublin anyway. That's why I deleted my account.

Well there's a few but none of them reply.

parker kent · 31-10-2011 6:51pm

Samich wrote: »

Well there's a few but none of them reply.

Few=very little. You are agreeing with each other!

I agree it is difficult online if you are looking for somebody 25 or under. The few that are online are targeted by almost all men on the site. I think 28+ is the best age for a guy on a dating site.

bebostalker · 31-10-2011 7:00pm

any girls there willing to look at/advise me on my profile? think it could use a bit of an update! i will pm the link

Galwayguy35 · 31-10-2011 7:27pm

skeleton_boy wrote: »

There's very little girls on dating sites under 25. Outside of Dublin anyway. That's why I deleted my account.

Sure the under 25s would be hooking up in the clubs anyway wouldnt they? Well thats how i met girls in my 20s anyway. Im 37 next month so bit long in the tooth for clubs now

so thats why im on the dating sites.

andreac · 31-10-2011 11:50pm

bebostalker wrote: »

any girls there willing to look at/advise me on my profile? think it could use a bit of an update! i will pm the link

Think i just saw your profile

The spiderman outfit is a def give away, lol.

Your profile looks fine i think.

bebostalker · 01-11-2011 12:49am

andreac wrote: »

Think i just saw your profile The spiderman outfit is a def give away, lol.

Your profile looks fine i think.

cheers hopefully ill get a few messages so :P

Online Dating

Comments