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Online Dating

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    #8792
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    15 guys have viewed me since reactivating, no messages :(


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    #8793
    den87
    Registered Users Posts: 531 ✭✭✭den87


    Been on POF now for a month or two and been chatting to a few girls but most of them just disappear off the radar. I must admit to not really being interested in the whole dating scene yet (just out of a 4.5 year relationship) so i'm going to give the site a break until im ready.

    That said though a lot of the women on it seem very stuck up.


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    #8794
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    stupidusername wrote: »
    15 guys have viewed me since reactivating, no messages :(

    I think if you concentrate too much on that sort of thing, you won't enjoy online dating. You're better off not keeping track, focusing on the little things or worrying too much. You've just been back a small amount of time, give it the week you have before you can hide your profile anyway.

    Sweating the little things too much leads to over thinking. Like posting about a message you get or something similar, it is putting too much attention on something and leads to over-thinking it.


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    #8795
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    parker kent wrote: »
    I think if you concentrate too much on that sort of thing, you won't enjoy online dating. You're better off not keeping track, focusing on the little things or worrying too much. You've just been back a small amount of time, give it the week you have before you can hide your profile anyway.

    Sweating the little things too much leads to over thinking. Like posting about a message you get or something similar, it is putting too much attention on something and leads to over-thinking it.

    ah i know, don't mind me, was just sayin. I will hide it again after the week, it's just not for me.


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    #8796
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    stupidusername wrote: »
    ah i know, don't mind me, was just sayin. I will hide it again after the week, it's just not for me.

    If I wasn't totally fed up with pubs/club scene, I would as well. I'm obviously having a quarter-life crisis :pac:


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    #8797
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Fuk it lads, there's a beers coming up soon so I'd suggest any of ye singletons here should go meet each other and see if you hit it off. :)

    Don't ban me Otis!


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    #8798
    Lost Accent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 24 ✭Lost Accent


    gatecrash wrote: »
    Definitely. There are other sites that allow registration and contact with members, such as another friend, but on match you HAVE to pay to see mails. And that makes it a level playing field. If someone wants to pay to be a penpal, that's their lookout but there are significantly less people in that vein on there.

    I'd advise you to only sign up for a month to any of the paid sites, cos after about 2 weeks you notice it is always the same people on line and you get totally disillusioned, as you have contacted pretty much all the people you would be attracted to within that time frame.... or at least that's the case with me!!

    And it's worth mixing the sites up too. If you are investing in the paid sites go for a month on match, then a month on AF, as there are users that will be on one, and not on the other......

    Last bit of advice i'd have is to give yourself time off the sites too....
    For some of us (ME anyway!!) it's turning into an endurance race.. as in how long can I endure the non-reply's, the failed dates, the mails that drop off etc.....

    Thanks for the feedback. I think I will give a paid site a try for a few weeks and see how it all goes. I think I just need to relax and not over analyse the non-replies, ego bruising etc.

    I don't mean that it is good that other posters have had similar difficulty and frustration but it is a little reassuring to know it's not just me


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    #8799
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    Lost Accent wrote: »
    Thanks for the feedback. I think I will give a paid site a try for a few weeks and see how it all goes. I think I just need to relax and not over analyse the non-replies, ego bruising etc.

    I don't mean that it is good that other posters have had similar difficulty and frustration but it is a little reassuring to know it's not just me

    I think one of the key things is to pack your ego up in a little box when you go online dating.

    Not every message you send will result in a reply. feck it, not every message you send will even result in someone having a wee look at your profile, they'll just have a quick look at the pic attached (usually about the size of a postage stamp!) and decide fairly quick whether or not they want to have a better look.

    Yes it is ego bruising, yes it is frustrating, but it can also be very rewarding.

    In my case i know for a fact that i just would not be physically able to approach 5, 10 or 15 women on a night out and get shot down by every one of them.... and go to the same place again the next night!! :D
    I can send out 5, 10 or 15 mails on a night though, and not be totally disheartened. And yes, I'll log on again the next day, see if I can find more people to ignore me!! :P


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    #8800
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    Larianne wrote: »
    Fuk it lads, there's a beers coming up soon so I'd suggest any of ye singletons here should go meet each other and see if you hit it off. :)

    Don't ban me Otis!


    mind reader!! :P


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    #8801
    Maguined
    Registered Users Posts: 8,247 ✭✭✭Maguined


    Larianne wrote: »
    Fuk it lads, there's a beers coming up soon so I'd suggest any of ye singletons here should go meet each other and see if you hit it off. :)

    Don't ban me Otis!

    I think Otis should come dressed as a pimp to set the mood.


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    #8802
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    I could be like TJ from Deuce Bigelow knee deep in he-bitches and she-johns.:cool:


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    #8803
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    First post from my phone, damn laptop broke, haven't been on pof since. Wish I didn't have to be on it, aaahhh


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    #8804
    newbee22
    Registered Users Posts: 937 ✭✭✭newbee22


    Samich the lady for you is out there somewhere!!:) (Look at me being all positive when I'm considering going buying my first cat!!)


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    #8805
    timewilltell
    Registered Users Posts: 505 ✭✭✭timewilltell


    Had a date with a guy from POF on Wednesday night...

    I was so nervous I drank 8 glasses of wine throughout our date.


    Don't think I made a great impression.:o


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    #8806
    newbee22
    Registered Users Posts: 937 ✭✭✭newbee22


    timewilltell wrote: »
    Had a date with a guy from POF on Wednesday night...

    I was so nervous I drank 8 glasses of wine throughout our date.


    Don't think I made a great impression.:o

    Sounds like something I'd do, except I'd probably have drank them before meeting the date!:P


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    #8807
    zuroph
    Registered Users Posts: 11,097 ✭✭✭✭zuroph


    "hey how you? what kind of dog have you?"
    "Hey! I'm good. dog is..." blah blah
    "user has deleted their account."

    all in the space of 5 minutes.
    :confused:


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    #8808
    timewilltell
    Registered Users Posts: 505 ✭✭✭timewilltell


    newbee22 wrote: »
    Sounds like something I'd do, except I'd probably have drank them before meeting the date!:P

    I'd one before he arrived...

    I'm having flashbacks and doing a lot of cringing.....


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    #8809
    Kya1976
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,879 ✭✭✭Kya1976


    zuroph wrote: »
    "hey how you? what kind of dog have you?"
    "Hey! I'm good. dog is..." blah blah
    "user has deleted their account."

    all in the space of 5 minutes.
    :confused:

    Stop traumatising the poor girls on the dating site will ya:p:pac:


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    #8810
    zuroph
    Registered Users Posts: 11,097 ✭✭✭✭zuroph


    Kya1976 wrote: »
    Stop traumatising the poor girls on the dating site will ya:p:pac:

    I know, I'm seriously getting paranoid about this! Have I some sinister signature that automatically attaches to my messages?!?!?


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    #8811
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    zuroph wrote: »
    I know, I'm seriously getting paranoid about this! Have I some sinister signature that automatically attaches to my messages?!?!?

    Mod of magic & illusion making women disappear...sounds about right :pac:

    Sorry!


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    #8812
    movingtotheuk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 101 ✭✭movingtotheuk


    In a terrible dilemma here.

    Being chatting/texting to this girl for the last two weeks. I just got a photo last night (she already had seen mine) and i have zero interest now. I have no interest in hurting her feelings so im not sure what to do. Bit obvious to just start ignoring her now immediately after the photo. In fact I imagine i am supposed to say something back to the photo.

    Thoughts?


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    #8813
    C.D.
    Registered Users Posts: 670 ✭✭✭C.D.


    movingtotheuk wrote: »
    In a terrible dilemma here.

    Being chatting/texting to this girl for the last two weeks. I just got a photo last night (she already had seen mine) and i have zero interest now. I have no interest in hurting her feelings so im not sure what to do. Bit obvious to just start ignoring her now immediately after the photo. In fact I imagine i am supposed to say something back to the photo.

    Thoughts?

    Feign interest today. Tomorrow tell her you have been promoted and are moving to the UK immediately.


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    #8814
    C.D.
    Registered Users Posts: 670 ✭✭✭C.D.


    Ps. Anyone got any dates lined up? I have D3 and D4 today and tomorrow, busy weekend!

    Timewilltell how many did he drink? If he was teetotal your story would become very entertaining?


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    #8815
    movingtotheuk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 101 ✭✭movingtotheuk


    C.D. wrote: »
    Feign interest today. Tomorrow tell her you have been promoted and are moving to the UK immediately.

    Dreadfu situation to be in. Going to feign interest for the next 2/3 days and then pretent i got back with an ex-girlfriend.

    I've learnt my lesson - never chat with somone who doesn't have a photo!


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    #8816
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    And all of ye on here talking about how confusing it is when someone just suddenly loses interest...? Seriously just tell her the truth,say she's not your type physically.


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    #8817
    G-Money
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,199 ✭✭✭G-Money


    stupidusername wrote: »
    And all of ye on here talking about how confusing it is when someone just suddenly loses interest...? Seriously just tell her the truth,say she's not your type physically.

    Sometimes that's a can of worms you just don't want to open.


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    #8818
    hollypink
    Registered Users Posts: 1,508 ✭✭✭hollypink


    Well I had a third date with someone from pof last night and I think thats the end of it. I might take a break from online dating, its not working for me.

    I met someone in a bar recently where there was instant chemistry and while that wont go anywhere, it reminded me of whats been lacking with nearly all my internet dating experiences.


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    #8819
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    movingtotheuk wrote: »
    In a terrible dilemma here.

    Being chatting/texting to this girl for the last two weeks. I just got a photo last night (she already had seen mine) and i have zero interest now. I have no interest in hurting her feelings so im not sure what to do. Bit obvious to just start ignoring her now immediately after the photo. In fact I imagine i am supposed to say something back to the photo.

    Thoughts?

    Something similar happened to me before. I met the guy anyway because we got on really well. Looks wise he was not my type at all. Long story short his picture didn't do him justice and we had chemistry when we met. Could have been just the photo she sent. To be fair to her you'd be better off being straight with her. I've had guys ignore me after I sent a photo and it's very hurtful. It's fair enough if I'm not their type but just say it. Even if you carry on for a couple of days and then make up an excuse she'll know it's the photo. Better to be straight up.


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    #8820
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    movingtotheuk wrote: »
    In a terrible dilemma here.

    Being chatting/texting to this girl for the last two weeks. I just got a photo last night (she already had seen mine) and i have zero interest now. I have no interest in hurting her feelings so im not sure what to do. Bit obvious to just start ignoring her now immediately after the photo. In fact I imagine i am supposed to say something back to the photo.

    Thoughts?

    Thats why i always insist for a pic from the word go, i never chat to blank profiles, no point, you need to know who you are chatting to, as like you said, its awkward then because they will know you arent attracted to them since you have seen the pic.

    I dont understand people that wont or dont put pics up....


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    #8821
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    G-Money wrote: »
    Sometimes that's a can of worms you just don't want to open.

    Its nicer than making up a reason,especially if they're going to see you still online,they'll be left wondering what they did wrong,like many of you have been at times


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