Online Dating

mariebeth

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

What makes you say that?

A common trend Ive seen in this thread over the last year is people getting them selves into a bit of a knot wondering if whomever they are chatting to is genuine.

Its quite possible the other person is thinking the exact same thing.

Stop with the over analysis,play it by ear and see what happens!

I got a message the other day asking me was I really a girl, because it sounded like my profile was written by a man! Not sure whether to take that one as a compliment, that I sound genuine & laid back, or as an insult, that I come across as being more masculine than female. :cool:

Although I have been getting a lot more messages since I tweaked my profile, including one very sound guy.

newbie_cat

Have just bitten the bullet and joined the online dating thing. Am a bit scared that it's going to be even more demoralising than real life dating! Have already had some weird messages!! Just wondering if anyone using POF has any advice re the Meet Me feature - lots of guys seem to want to "meet me" (I'm a girl btw) but none of them have messaged me - is this a common phenomenon?

Otis Driftwood

Last time I used POF I had a load of "meet me's" but Id say got messages from or messaged no more than 5 women.

IMO it promotes laziness and can be used as an excuse to not message people.

Hyperbullet

I'm hoping that after this weekend I'll have a happy story to share with ye. Roll on the weekend.

kieranfitz

I'm admitting defeat at this stage after 2 and a bit years on pof and nearly 1.5 on ok cupid I can probably count the number of girls who've replied on my fingers, at least the one's where the reply was something other then "eww, no. fcuk off" Add that to the fact I've barely been out in the last year meaning that my chances of meeting someone face to face have been effectively nil. Time to become a hermit up a mountain somewhere me thinks.

stargazer 68

Well I havent been online for about 2 weeks - logged on yesterday to 4 messages!!

stupidusername

Dovies wrote: »

Well I havent been online for about 2 weeks - logged on yesterday to 4 messages!!

why the ?

stargazer 68

stupidusername wrote: »

why the ?

After 2 weeks offline I usually have more!

andreac

Dovies wrote: »

Well I havent been online for about 2 weeks - logged on yesterday to 4 messages!!

Id be delighted with 4 mails...:o

stupidusername

Dovies wrote: »

After 2 weeks offline I usually have more!

what a complaint.

were any of them of any use to you, like the guys that sent them, have you any interest? or is it just about numbers?

sharper

As annoying as it is to get no mail (most men and a good chunk of women) getting uninteresting mail is not that much better. It's like checking your mail and finding stuff in the spam folder or a newsletter when what you want is something from someone you know.

stargazer 68

stupidusername wrote: »

what a complaint.

were any of them of any use to you, like the guys that sent them, have you any interest? or is it just about numbers?

A couple were new and a couple I had chatted to before - one in Clare, one in Wexford, one in Cork and one in Carlow - so no not much use really!

newbie_cat

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Last time I used POF I had a load of "meet me's" but Id say got messages from or messaged no more than 5 women.

IMO it promotes laziness and can be used as an excuse to not message people.

Thanks for your reply - I wanted to thank your post but haven't worked that one out yet! Think I will be ignoring th Meet Me feature - it definitely seems a cop out from actually starting a conversation with someone.

stargazer 68

newbie_cat wrote: »

Thanks for your reply - I wanted to thank your post but haven't worked that one out yet! Think I will be ignoring th Meet Me feature - it definitely seems a cop out from actually starting a conversation with someone.

Ignore the meet me feature. I have loads of people wanting to 'meet me' - yet when I mail them they either dont reply or have no idea what Im talking about. I met one guy (a friend) who said he had a 'meet me' from me and I dont use the feature!!

Otis Driftwood

No problem and fyi,you need to have I think a minimum of 25 posts on boards before you can use the thank feature!

CucaFace

Dovies wrote: »

Ignore the meet me feature. I have loads of people wanting to 'meet me' - yet when I mail them they either dont reply or have no idea what Im talking about. I met one guy (a friend) who said he had a 'meet me' from me and I dont use the feature!!

Yeah same thing with me.

Emailed a few woman who had appeared in my meet up thing and no reply.

I think people really just use it when they are bored to go and pick out who they think are attractive or not. Most wouldn't look at the profile, just the pictures.

sharper

kieranfitz wrote: »

I'm admitting defeat at this stage after 2 and a bit years on pof and nearly 1.5 on ok cupid I can probably count the number of girls who've replied on my fingers, at least the one's where the reply was something other then "eww, no. fcuk off"

It's tough out there no doubt about it. It's sort of amusing the internet dating is sometimes presented as being for desperate people, as if it's some sort of sure thing people only resort to when they're desperate enough. It's just as hard as, if not harder, than trying to get people's attention in real life.

I assume you're only being semi-serious about "eww, no. fcuk off" thing. There are some poorly behaved people out there and it's nothing to do with you. Mostly people are just stand-offish.

Add that to the fact I've barely been out in the last year meaning that my chances of meeting someone face to face have been effectively nil. Time to become a hermit up a mountain somewhere me thinks.

Rest up for a bit and consider getting into some people based activities. I'm not going to throw the "Join some clubs!" thing at you but maybe if you check out parts of boards that interest you then you'll find out some events you can attend.

coonecb1

kieranfitz wrote: »

I'm admitting defeat at this stage after 2 and a bit years on pof and nearly 1.5 on ok cupid I can probably count the number of girls who've replied on my fingers, at least the one's where the reply was something other then "eww, no. fcuk off" Add that to the fact I've barely been out in the last year meaning that my chances of meeting someone face to face have been effectively nil. Time to become a hermit up a mountain somewhere me thinks.

Keep the head up buddy! At the very worst you can always try a mail order bride! (I'm only half joking)

C.D.

A girl I messaged a week ago replied today and I nearly spat out my drink with laughter reading it.

She accused me of looking for a Stepford wife and kids on PoF and felt the need to reinforce her dislike of me by saying that eating ice cream is disgusting because it is so unhealthy (listed as an interest in my profile)! No idea where she got those impressions from but I think somebody has a serious case of the crazies!

kieranfitz

sharper wrote: »

I assume you're only being semi-serious about "eww, no. fcuk off" thing. There are some poorly behaved people out there and it's nothing to do with you. Mostly people are just stand-offish.

I only wish I was, that's a direct quote, And not the worst either.

sharper wrote: »

Rest up for a bit and consider getting into some people based activities. I'm not going to throw the "Join some clubs!" thing at you but maybe if you check out parts of boards that interest you then you'll find out some events you can attend.

Easier said then done. Started a fetac course in September so I'm leaving home at 8:30 for that and the I'm in work till 11 and another half hour to get home on top of that.

coonecb1 wrote: »

Keep the head up buddy! At the very worst you can always try a mail order bride! (I'm only half joking)

Thanks, but have you seen what they want as a deposit these days, extortionate, :cool:

Pembily

C.D. wrote: »

A girl I messaged a week ago replied today and I nearly spat out my drink with laughter reading it.

She accused me of looking for a Stepford wife and kids on PoF and felt the need to reinforce her dislike of me by saying that eating ice cream is disgusting because it is so unhealthy (listed as an interest in my profile)! No idea where she got those impressions from but I think somebody has a serious case of the crazies!

Oh no way?????? That's fooked up!

cyrusdvirus

C.D. wrote: »

A girl I messaged a week ago replied today and I nearly spat out my drink with laughter reading it.

She accused me of looking for a Stepford wife and kids on PoF and felt the need to reinforce her dislike of me by saying that eating ice cream is disgusting because it is so unhealthy (listed as an interest in my profile)! No idea where she got those impressions from but I think somebody has a serious case of the crazies!

It depends.

What way was your mail to her? Was it light hearted? COULD this be a light hearted reply?

She could also be a psycho-billie, in which case you would be right, but have a look at your mail to her... just to make sure she's not being playful.

cyrusdvirus

kieranfitz wrote: »

I only wish I was, that's a direct quote, And not the worst either.




Easier said then done. Started a fetac course in September so I'm leaving home at 8:30 for that and the I'm in work till 11 and another half hour to get home on top of that.




Thanks, but have you seen what they want as a deposit these days, extortionate, :cool:

Kieran, i wouldn't let people like that get you down. If that's how they think they can behave then you are better off without them.



This online dating thing is very much a waiting game, but it can be SOOOO worth it, when you find someone that's right for you.

newbie_cat

kieranfitz wrote: »

I only wish I was, that's a direct quote, And not the worst either.

It actually amazes me how rude some people are. To be honest that response says WAY more about them than you and at least it shows you that those individuals are not worth wasting your time thinking about!

Are you sending just "Hi how are you?" messages or more detailed ones? I'm getting a fair few messages at the moment (think it's just because I'm new and the novelty will wear off soon!) and have to say I don't reply to the "Hi xxxxxxxxx" messages which seem reasonably common. I'm not saying your messages are like that by the way!

sharper

kieranfitz wrote: »

I only wish I was, that's a direct quote, And not the worst either.

I've gotten some nasty stuff in my time too the important thing to remember is people make things easier by revealing the ugly nature of their personalities so quickly. I mean, it'd be a shame to invest a bunch of effort in someone and then only months later discover they treat others awfully.

From a positive/negative reinforcement perspective it's hard to deal with unless you have a balance of "Wow you're hot/ewww go away". The sad reality is though people are more likely to be upfront about a negative than a positive.

Larianne

Jeez, that is shockin. What horrible people they are. Sharper is right though. Would you really want to date something so vile as that?

So who's got the date for the weekend? Zuroph doing well for himself there!

stargazer 68

Larianne wrote: »

So who's got the date for the weekend? Zuroph doing well for himself there!

Hmm not many by the looks of it! :rolleyes:

parker kent

Larianne wrote: »

So who's got the date for the weekend? Zuroph doing well for himself there!

I'm working Saturday. So I guess I have a date with a few thousand Leaving Cert students...

Dublin Chick

C.D. wrote: »

A girl I messaged a week ago replied today and I nearly spat out my drink with laughter reading it.

She accused me of looking for a Stepford wife and kids on PoF and felt the need to reinforce her dislike of me by saying that eating ice cream is disgusting because it is so unhealthy (listed as an interest in my profile)! No idea where she got those impressions from but I think somebody has a serious case of the crazies!

Hahahahahaha I like this girl :eek:

Hyperbullet

parker kent wrote: »

I'm working Saturday. So I guess I have a date with a few thousand Leaving Cert students...

Sounds like something that'll wind up on the 9 o'clock news.






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