Online Dating

Galvasean

Herrick wrote: »

I wouldn't mind but I'm not one for this multiple dating stuff, I know some people can have loads of dates set up. But I prefer to concentrate on one person and give them a fair chance.

Haha, I think I'm in a similar boat to you right now. No sooner than I set up a date with this nice 'replies very selectively / has great taste in movies girl', I end up in conversation with equally attractive / cool 'likes dinosaurs almost as much as I do girl'. I was very close to asking the latter if she wanted to go on a date, I even typed it, but ended up deleting that bit of text. I just can't see myself dating two girls at once. I don't want to be in the position where I have to compare to dates and see which I liked the best. It just seems more like an audition or something. Just doesn't seem right to me. I don't think I'd be giving date #1 a fair chance, wondering what date #2 will be like. Likewise, I'd be subconsciously be comparing date #2 to date #1....

And to think, until a few days ago I could not get an email reply for love nor money... Heck, I couldn't even get them to open / read the bloody mails most of the time!
Like buses I tell ya!

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Galvasean

Veles wrote: »

I have precisely that problem lol

I'd love to tell you what the secret to changing such fortune is... but I literally have no idea! My mailing style, profile, pictures have not changed at all. maybe I'm just getting better at finding people that suit me better?

Snowie

Galvasean wrote: »

Haha, I think I'm in a similar boat to you right now. No sooner than I set up a date with this nice 'replies very selectively / has great taste in movies girl', I end up in conversation with equally attractive / cool 'likes dinosaurs almost as much as I do girl'. I was very close to asking the latter if she wanted to go on a date, I even typed it, but ended up deleting that bit of text. I just can't see myself dating two girls at once. I don't want to be in the position where I have to compare to dates and see which I liked the best. It just seems more like an audition or something. Just doesn't seem right to me. I don't think I'd be giving date #1 a fair chance, wondering what date #2 will be like. Likewise, I'd be subconsciously be comparing date #2 to date #1....

And to think, until a few days ago I could not get an email reply for love nor money... Heck, I couldn't even get them to open / read the bloody mails most of the time!
Like buses I tell ya!

go on two dates no need to compare them either one your gonna have a spark or you wont....I think its foolish to think that the girls are doing anything different....

meeting up with a person is not a date... I dont look at them as dates because there not Your meeting them for the first time it should be brief 30 mins to an hour... after which if you get on you ask her out on a date ....

but glad to hear its going well man

magneticimpulse

parker kent wrote: »

Well you were talking about OKCupid and how you could not understand it's popularity on Boards, so that was what I was basing my opinions on. I was comparing OKC to pay sites.

OKC is a pile of pooh. Worst format of a website I have ever used in my life. Really hate it. At least I can be mildly impressed by POF new revamped site. OKC, crap. The % get on and enemy? Whats that about? Selection on it is woeful as well.

magneticimpulse

Galvasean wrote: »

I'd love to tell you what the secret to changing such fortune is... but I literally have no idea! My mailing style, profile, pictures have not changed at all. maybe I'm just getting better at finding people that suit me better?

It could be just the weather! I know I go through phases depending on the time of year...before Christmas, before Valentines: mad rush to get dates to forget your single over these "couple" times.

Maybe Easter is similar?

But most likely, sunshine, nice weather brings the best out of everyone. More getting outdoors and exercise. Getting out of the sluggish routine of winter. Enough to put anyone in a better mood for dating.

Also long bank holiday weekends? Maybe girls have more time to open and read their emails.

Dravokivich

magneticimpulse wrote: »

OKC is a pile of pooh. Worst format of a website I have ever used in my life. Really hate it. At least I can be mildly impressed by POF new revamped site. OKC, crap. The % get on and enemy? Whats that about? Selection on it is woeful as well.

Personally I found the % enemy thing to be rather amusing.

But the "Selection" as you put it, is down to your own judgement of the userbase. If you go into it with a negative frame of mind, you'll find something to be negative about.

magneticimpulse

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

go on two dates no need to compare them either one your gonna have a spark or you wont....I think its foolish to think that the girls are doing anything different....

meeting up with a person is not a date... I dont look at them as dates because there not Your meeting them for the first time it should be brief 30 mins to an hour... after which if you get on you ask her out on a date ....

but glad to hear its going well man

I'd never go on a date with you if your going to run off after 30 mins!!

For a woman: takes 15 minutes to shower, about 10 minutes to dress, about 15 minutes to do make up, 15 minutes to do hair, if your lucky 15 minutes to get to date location. Thats more then 1 hour to get ready to go on a 30 mins date?

You must be joking. I'd drop you in a flash, wouldnt even bother going on a "date"/"meet up" with you. Wouldnt be worth my precious time.

magneticimpulse

Dravokivich wrote: »

Personally I found the % enemy thing to be rather amusing.

But the "Selection" as you put it, is down to your own judgement of the userbase. If you go into it with a negative frame of mind, you'll find something to be negative about.

Its the same frame of mind I use for match.com and POF and both are far better then OKC. There's about 10 guys on OKC and 1000's on the other 2.

I just find OKC very complicated to use. Too much going on with that website and very little profiles coming up. Just hate using it completely. They need to come up with a more simple layout. I want quick easy access to profiles. Instead it wants to show me about 5 profiles and tell me each persons life story!! Nah, hate it, will never like the websites layout. Not very user friendly. Theres just too much writing on OKC...complete nonsense writing everywhere. As a "brand" I hate it. It's the worse laid out website ive ever come across in my life. What happened to marketing something to catch people's eye? Everything about it, just turns me off from using the website.

The_Morrigan

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I'd never go on a date with you if your going to run off after 30 mins!!

For a woman: takes 15 minutes to shower, about 10 minutes to dress, about 15 minutes to do make up, 15 minutes to do hair, if your lucky 15 minutes to get to date location. Thats more then 1 hour to get ready to go on a 30 mins date?

You must be joking. I'd drop you in a flash, wouldnt even bother going on a "date"/"meet up" with you. Wouldnt be worth my precious time.

The point is its not a "date" its a quick coffee or drink to see if you click in real life, if you do it can turn into an afternoon, possibly going to get a bite to eat, or if not, you can leave without the awkward obligation of another few courses for dinner.
I'd much rather do an informal meet up first without being tied into a long winded date that is going nowhere after the first 30 minutes because in reality you are not compatible. Text/email/IM are by no means transparent to a person when it comes to knowing another as a whole.

Also, I'd spend the same amount of time getting ready to go anywhere, regardless of whether its a casual drink with existing or new friends an impromptu meet up or a proper date.

magneticimpulse

The_Morrigan wrote: »

The point is its not a "date" its a quick coffee or drink to see if you click in real life, if you do it can turn into an afternoon, possibly going to get a bite to eat, or if not, you can leave without the awkward obligation of another few courses for dinner.
I'd much rather do an informal meet up first without being tied into a long winded date that is going nowhere after the first 30 minutes because in reality you are not compatible. Text/email/IM are by no means transparent to a person when it comes to knowing another as a whole.

Also, I'd spend the same amount of time getting ready to go anywhere, regardless of whether its a casual drink with existing or new friends an impromptu meet up or a proper date.

Exactly!!! There's no way I'd spend over 1 hour getting ready to meet a guy for a "quick" coffee. Thats just completely dispectful. If the guy could not be arsed to give me more of his time. I would not waste any of my time meeting him in the 1st place.

The_Morrigan

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Exactly!!! There's no way I'd spend over 1 hour getting ready to meet a guy for a "quick" coffee. Thats just completely dispectful. If the guy could not be arsed to give me more of his time. I would not waste any of my time meeting him in the 1st place.

you missed my point.
I give everyone the same level of attention, I don't think meeting someone for a quick coffee is a waste of time, it's not disrespectful, it's practical.

Do you mean to tell me you'd rather sit through a couple of hours of torturous conversation and a high dinner bill, just so you can say he didn't waste your time? :rolleyes: The mind boggles it really does.

magneticimpulse

The_Morrigan wrote: »

you missed my point.
I give everyone the same level of attention, I don't think meeting someone for a quick coffee is a waste of time, it's not disrespectful, it's practical.

Do you mean to tell me you'd rather sit through a couple of hours of torturous conversation and a high dinner bill, just so you can say he didn't waste your time? :rolleyes: The mind boggles it really does.

Well good luck with the online dating.

As a woman, I would never agree to go on such a short "meeting". Its a date in my opinion, call a spade a spade for god's sake.

Would never meet you for whatever you want to call it. Im not spending more time getting ready to meet anybody for less time then it took me to get ready!!!! It will never change. I doubt many women would be impressed either!!!

I have gone out for dinner and really enjoyed it. If you cant stand spending that amount of time with a person, I would question your skills to communicate. I get on with everybody I meet. Whether I find them attractive is another matter. But yeah id rather go for "long" "date", then your 5 minute espresso dash.

The_Morrigan

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Well good luck with the online dating.

As a woman, I would never agree to go on such a short "meeting". Its a date in my opinion, call a spade a spade for god's sake.

Would never meet you for whatever you want to call it. Im not spending more time getting ready to meet anybody for less time then it took me to get ready!!!! It will never change. I doubt many women would be impressed either!!!

Maybe I'm just more realistic about it all.
You failed to answer my question there though, would you sit through a formal dinner date with a high expense just so you could say he didn't waste your time?

Snowie

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I'd never go on a date with you if your going to run off after 30 mins!!

For a woman: takes 15 minutes to shower, about 10 minutes to dress, about 15 minutes to do make up, 15 minutes to do hair, if your lucky 15 minutes to get to date location. Thats more then 1 hour to get ready to go on a 30 mins date?

You must be joking. I'd drop you in a flash, wouldnt even bother going on a "date"/"meet up" with you. Wouldnt be worth my precious time.

I think its great that you hold your self with such high value.
Stop for a second and think, I think your blowing this completely out of proportion.
Im under the opinion of two important facts when online dating...
People seem to confuse the fact that just because some one seems nice, in an email is and can be the oposit in reality at times.

First of we've emailed chatted now were going to see if there's a spark, Im not gonna waste my time talkin to some one if there's no spark why sit there punishing each other, with painfull chat that requires effort....
I'd rather be blunt and hey look i gotta go.. Whats wrong with that...

Two If there is a spark things might go on for longer... But for a first meet i dont see the point in sitting around chatting get wired on 6 cups of coffee.
Thats just plain dangerous for booth people

magneticimpulse

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

I think its great that you hold your self with such high value.
Stop for a second and think, I think your blowing this completely out of proportion.
Im under the opinion of two important facts when online dating...
People seem to confuse the fact that just because some one seems nice, in an email is and can be the oposit in reality at times.

First of we've emailed chatted now were going to see if there's a spark, Im not gonna waste my time talkin to some one if there's no spark why sit there punishing each other, with painfull chat that requires effort....
I'd rather be blunt and hey look i gotta go.. Whats wrong with that...

Two If there is a spark things might go on for longer... But for a first meet i dont see the point in sitting around chatting get wired on 6 cups of coffee.
Thats just plain dangerous for booth people

Oh im not disputing the fact that its good to meet up for a "date". But when did it all become so clinical and boring? How is anybody going to get a feel for someone in 30 minutes? Thats just bonkers. I just hope you guys clearly state this in your profiles. That way the likes of me can avoid wasting emails/text or whatever to you in the 1st place.

I completely stand by, I would never ever ever ever meet a guy for 30 minutes. Id go out for a pint or even coffee...but Id at least expect it to last for 2 hours.

Your judgement of people must be very poor if you think you can get to know them in 30 minutes or that they would bore you to tears after 2 hours.

Complete disrespect for people having that stinking attitude. Ive never been attracted to any guy ive ever ever gone on a date with from online. Doesnt mean I didnt enjoy our dates!!! So no, I would never ever adapt this stinking attitude towards dating. Its gross imo

Kevin Duffy

magneticimpulse wrote: »

It will never change. I doubt many women would be impressed either!!!

You quite frequently seem to confuse your opinion with that of all other women. You are not the spokeswoman.

On my rare forays into online dating, my suggestions have always been bigger events - a night out, dinner, sports events, a day at some cultural event, that sort of thing. When the suggestion has come from her, it has almost always been "a coffee". Both have been good and valuable, but clearly there is not some phenomenon where no woman or not many women would be unappreciative of meeting for a coffee.

magneticimpulse

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

You quite frequently seem to confuse your opinion with that of all other women. You are not the spokeswoman.

On my rare forays into online dating, my suggestions have always been bigger events - a night out, dinner, sports events, a day at some cultural event, that sort of thing. When the suggestion has come from her, it has almost always been "a coffee". Both have been good and valuable, but clearly there is not some phenomenon where no woman or not many women would be unappreciative of meeting for a coffee.

Whatever!!! Im obviously having these wild opinion by myself.

I still think its gross to time a "meet up" to 30 minutes.

Call me old fashioned, but timing a date down to 30 minutes is very bad practise.

Dave!

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Whatever!!! Im obviously having these wild opinion by myself.

I still think its gross to time a "meet up" to 30 minutes.

Call me old fashioned, but timing a date down to 30 minutes is very bad practise.

There are different kinds of dates tbh... a quick coffee, dinner and a movie, a day out at the zoo(!), they're all different... I don't think meeting up for a quick coffee to see if there's any connection, as a prelude to a potential 'real' date, is unreasonable.

Hyperbullet

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Whatever!!! Im obviously having these wild opinion by myself.

I still think its gross to time a "meet up" to 30 minutes.

Call me old fashioned, but timing a date down to 30 minutes is very bad practise.

Don't think anyone is suggesting that the date has to be timed to 30 minutes. If I were to organise a date it would be to go for coffee or something and see how the evening pans out. If its not going well though at least you can politely part company and no one is at a loss really. If you were to go for something like dinner you are stuck there with no conversation and it becomes awkward.

I_am_LOST

Veles wrote: »

If any lady wants and has the time can you pm me,ill send ya a link to me profile so maybe you can give the girls opinion what's wrong with it in attracting fishes etc :P

I don't know if you're joking or not but I think that's a great idea! Feel free to pm me and I can give you a female opinion on your profile!!

I've recently started the online dating thing and found the format of PoF absolute crap! And the only people who messaged me/replied to my messages ended up only on it for sex :rolleyes: Same as OkCupid but to a lesser extent. There doesn't seem to be that much choice on either site to be honest!

ToniTuddle

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Whatever!!! Im obviously having these wild opinion by myself.

I still think its gross to time a "meet up" to 30 minutes.

Call me old fashioned, but timing a date down to 30 minutes is very bad practise.

Ah here!
I doubt they literally time it down to the last minute.

Don't see the whole thing about getting ready for certain length of time and then the person has to at least match that
I understand in some way what you mean about taking all that time to get ready to look nice and then it only lasts for a short while.

Sure why not just arrange to meet up with some mates afterwards for dinner....that way you get a quick encounter with your potential date, then have a catch up with mates and be all dressed and good to go!

panda100

The_Morrigan wrote: »

Fair play to you!
I had a MASSIVE row with a mate over this attitude, she is ok setting herself up with multiple suitors to test out over a series of dates.
Now I'm talking 6 different guys from Thursday night to Sunday night.
She on the other hand, expected any of the guys she was meeting on these dates to only deal with her until she made up her mind which one she would choose...and she wonders why I had issues with that :rolleyes:

If a guy did that to her there would have been copious amounts of alcohol and girly "all men are bastards" chats to organise for her.

Apparently though, I'm wrong and she doesn't want to talk to me until I agree with her...needless to say it has now been 5 months since we spoke.
Morrigan just ain't down with that kinda sh*te :cool:

I am the exact same! I think dating multiple people at the same time is a very American style of dating, and I don't like that one bit.

I can definitely can only handle one man in my life, at any one time!

parker kent

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Exactly!!! There's no way I'd spend over 1 hour getting ready to meet a guy for a "quick" coffee. Thats just completely dispectful. If the guy could not be arsed to give me more of his time. I would not waste any of my time meeting him in the 1st place.

You know that you don't have to spend an hour getting ready for a quick coffee? The idea is that it is a casual chat to see if you'd like to go on a "real" date. If I arranged a quick coffee, I'd be a bit bemused to think the girl spent an hour getting ready.

magneticimpulse

Well by the looks of things im sticking to match.com

At least you get a decent "coffee date" with a guy for at least 2 hours from there. I even like my dinner dates too. Its going to be a great way to weed out the men I dont like by only suggesting dinner dates from now on

Wont be bothering with the free websites anymore if this is the attitude from men about "oh its not a date" attitude. Totally not the type men I want to be dating. If the men on the free dating websites cant manage to hold a conversation, then it says alot for them!!!

Dave!

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Well by the looks of things im sticking to match.com

At least you get a decent "coffee date" with a guy for at least 2 hours from there. I even like my dinner dates too. Its going to be a great way to weed out the men I dont like by only suggesting dinner dates from now on

Wont be bothering with the free websites anymore if this is the attitude from men about "oh its not a date" attitude. Totally not the type men I want to be dating. If the men on the free dating websites cant manage to hold a conversation, then it says alot for them!!!

Good luck to ya luv, any bloke would be lucky to sit through 2 hours with you

Hyperbullet

ToniTuddle wrote: »

Ah here!
I doubt they literally time it down to the last minute.

Brilliant mental image though.

-Meet date at café.
-Place large stopwatch on the table timed at 30 minutes.
-Declare "You have 30 minutes to impress me fair maiden! HAVE AT IT!" in front of everyone in café.

Dating like a f*cking boss

magneticimpulse

parker kent wrote: »

You know that you don't have to spend an hour getting ready for a quick coffee? The idea is that it is a casual chat to see if you'd like to go on a "real" date. If I arranged a quick coffee, I'd be a bit bemused to think the girl spent an hour getting ready.

Argh sorry but yeah it does take 1 hour for me to get ready no matter where I am going.

Sure I can not put any make up on and expose my white heads and acne...sure thats going to go down well. Would you like any cream with that coffee sir? And the hairy arm pits are sure to go down a treat along with the lovely full growth of hair on my legs. not to mention the poodle frizzy hairstyle..sure enough will turn every man on.

Are you on another planet? What woman is not going to get ready for a date?

Sorry parker kent, your off the list if you think a woman "looks fantastic" and doesnt need to put some sort of make up on etc for a date...sorry "quick coffee". Have you not seen Cameron Diaz without a face full of makeup? Or even Katy Perry out of bed look? No woman is that perfect.

Heres an example. Exhibit 1: No effort to get ready for the date
Exhibit 2 on the right: After shower, nice clothes, makeup, shave armpits and other parts. (the 1 hour getting ready for coffee person)

Hmm which one will get a 2nd date I wonder? (if this wasnt katy perry and just a normal girl?)

magneticimpulse

Dave! wrote: »

Good luck to ya luv, any bloke would be lucky to sit through 2 hours with you

hey im the one getting 100 emails on a daily basis, I can afford to pick and mix

Dave!

magneticimpulse wrote: »

hey im the one getting 100 emails on a daily basis, I can afford to pick and mix

You sound like quite the catch!