Online Dating

Kevin Duffy

chatterpillar wrote: »

Oh that's probably where I went wrong so. Asked him out in about the third message! Probably scared him off with my bluntness. God I have a lot to learn in this whole dating scene!

Arsé to that, you asked him out when you thought it was right, good on you, no point in messing about. 'sides, if that scared him, how the feck would he handle something that actually was scary?
Personally, if I was interested enough in a girl to exchange a few messages, I'd be knocked out by her asking me out and bite her hand off. Keep doing it the way that suits you. You have to put your best foot forward, but don't try to change to suit the audience.

parker kent

andreac wrote: »

Would it worry/concern you a little if someone you are in contact with but not met up with yet is a little too keen with the contact??

Reason i ask is this person im in contact with is texting quite a lot, when i didnt reply earlier (i was busy) i got a "you arent very talkative" text, then a missed call ( i still havent spoken on the phone yet), then i logged online and there were 2 messages in my inbox from him, one saying "you not answering your text?" and the other saying, i was just ringing you to see if you wanted to head out somewhere, (not sure if he meant tonight) but i wouldnt be going out on a big night anywhere for a first meet up.

Kind of freaking me out a little by the over the top contact...

That sounds way too OTT. I'd consider that OTT if I was married to the person for 10 years, let alone somebody I'd only spoken to over messages.

andreac

parker kent wrote: »

That sounds way too OTT. I'd consider that OTT if I was married to the person for 10 years, let alone somebody I'd only spoken to over messages.

I know, thats what im thinking. I havent even met him yet and hes demanding and wondering why im not answering his texts. My best friends wouldnt even behave like that. If people dont reply/answer its probably because they are BUSY....

That_Guy

Toffee Crisps are the secret lads....

parker kent

andreac wrote: »

I know, thats what im thinking. I havent even met him yet and hes demanding and wondering why im not answering his texts. My best friends wouldnt even behave like that. If people dont reply/answer its probably because they are BUSY....

He sounds a bit needy. Maybe have a word asking to him to relax a bit and explain that it is normal for people to not reply when they are busy. Let him know that you will reply when you get a chance. Maybe he has issues from past relationships or something and has trust issues. But if that sort of carry on continued after having a word, I'd be putting him on ignore.

It goes without saying that you shouldn't be facing the third degree at any stage of a relationship/dating/flirting.

Sky King

That_Guy wrote: »

Toffee Crisps are the secret lads....

No high pressure water transfer systems are the way to go to be honest.

I get all the hot chicks when I go on about that.

Lon Dubh

stupidusername wrote: »

good luck with the dates people

just a question for any non smokers, do you filter your searches by whether or not the person smokes? It's kinda a big deal to me, but I wonder what difference it's making to everything.

Yes. I am a non-smoker and would filter out smokers (though taking a break at the moment from internet dating). It is just a practical issue for me. Cigarette smoke makes me a bit queasy so it wouldn't really be practical to date someone who smokes.

Lon Dubh

andreac wrote: »

Would it worry/concern you a little if someone you are in contact with but not met up with yet is a little too keen with the contact??

Reason i ask is this person im in contact with is texting quite a lot, when i didnt reply earlier (i was busy) i got a "you arent very talkative" text, then a missed call ( i still havent spoken on the phone yet), then i logged online and there were 2 messages in my inbox from him, one saying "you not answering your text?" and the other saying, i was just ringing you to see if you wanted to head out somewhere, (not sure if he meant tonight) but i wouldnt be going out on a big night anywhere for a first meet up.

Kind of freaking me out a little by the over the top contact...

That would put me off to be honest. I would worry that it is indicating potential stalker/controlling behaviour (admitedly I might be over paranoid about this, but better safe than sorry). Even if I was in a relationship with someone I would consider this sort of thing a bit much and off-putting.

But trust your gut on it. I would probably bolt myself, but if you are still interested and he seems otherwise ok, you could tell him it is a bit much. Then if he reacts badly, or doesn't back off a bit, I would definitely run for the hills.

Sky King

You can see how someone would fall into the trap of doing it though, if they were very taken with their date.

inexperienced

andreac wrote: »

Would it worry/concern you a little if someone you are in contact with but not met up with yet is a little too keen with the contact??

Reason i ask is this person im in contact with is texting quite a lot, when i didnt reply earlier (i was busy) i got a "you arent very talkative" text, then a missed call ( i still havent spoken on the phone yet), then i logged online and there were 2 messages in my inbox from him, one saying "you not answering your text?" and the other saying, i was just ringing you to see if you wanted to head out somewhere, (not sure if he meant tonight) but i wouldnt be going out on a big night anywhere for a first meet up.

Kind of freaking me out a little by the over the top contact...

i would give him the benefit of doubt but tell him to relax a bit and stop txting you that much or you would be scared away.

but from my experience, people who are too keen at the start before you guys even meet are either immature that dont know the social rules or ... married ( :eek: )!

booboo88

I just got a message from a 62year old.......euwwwwww!
He's older than my dad:eek:
Hes nearly 40 years older.....





vomits

Chriscork12

andreac wrote: »

Would it worry/concern you a little if someone you are in contact with but not met up with yet is a little too keen with the contact??

Reason i ask is this person im in contact with is texting quite a lot, when i didnt reply earlier (i was busy) i got a "you arent very talkative" text, then a missed call ( i still havent spoken on the phone yet), then i logged online and there were 2 messages in my inbox from him, one saying "you not answering your text?" and the other saying, i was just ringing you to see if you wanted to head out somewhere, (not sure if he meant tonight) but i wouldnt be going out on a big night anywhere for a first meet up.

Kind of freaking me out a little by the over the top contact...

I have had a few people act like that on dating sites. The attention is nice at the start til u realise its all just fake. They just want to meet u asap to get a ride off u. They are getting bored off waiting and more frustrated.just ignore and see what happens..if they are really so into u as they claim then they should be trying to impress u not harass u..

Chriscork12

Chriscork12 wrote: »

I have had a few people act like that on dating sites. The attention is nice at the start til u realise its all just fake. They just want to meet u asap to get a ride off u. They are getting bored off waiting and more frustrated.just ignore and see what happens..if they are really so into u as they claim then they should be trying to impress u not harass u..

Also in my experience the majority of men i interacted with on dating sites had the mindset of if you are a woman on a dating site u must be desperate as men seem to think its really easy for women to get men and that they get offers left right and centre, so being a woman on a dating site means ur fair game for bad treatmeant to a lot of men unfortunately...

coonecb1

Hi, I've just joined plenty of fish.

What's a good 'First Message' to send to a woman? I presume you say a little bit more than "How's it going", but is it OK to ask someone out when you send them the first message?

Chriscork12

coonecb1 wrote: »

Hi, I've just joined plenty of fish.

What's a good 'First Message' to send to a woman? I presume you say a little bit more than "How's it going", but is it OK to ask someone out when you send them the first message?

No its is not ok to do that u will more than likely get ignored..and why would you want to anyway? They could be totally nuts or ye have nothing in common or lots of other reasons. thats why u should chat a bit first to see are ye get on

parker kent

Chriscork12 wrote: »

Also in my experience the majority of men i interacted with on dating sites had the mindset of if you are a woman on a dating site u must be desperate as men seem to think its really easy for women to get men and that they get offers left right and centre, so being a woman on a dating site means ur fair game for bad treatmeant to a lot of men unfortunately...

That's a lot of generalisations there. Not all men on dating sites think like that.

Anyway, my date for later may be rescheduled for another day. She has genuine reasons and was taking care to let me know it wasn't a fob off. A bit disappointing as I was looking forward to it, but we'll meet up at some stage. I think you can learn a lot about people in how they deal with the little things like re-arranging dates etc.

Chriscork12

parker kent wrote: »

That's a lot of generalisations there. Not all men on dating sites think like that.

Anyway, my date for later may be rescheduled for another day. She has genuine reasons and was taking care to let me know it wasn't a fob off. A bit disappointing as I was looking forward to it, but we'll meet up at some stage. I think you can learn a lot about people in how they deal with the little things like re-arranging dates etc.

Where are they though? I would love to find them..

parker kent

Chriscork12 wrote: »

Where are they though? I would love to find them..

You can't just throw out the "there are no good men" line. Have a look through this thread, there are plenty of guys like me that just want to meet somebody nice.

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

andreac

inexperienced wrote: »

i would give him the benefit of doubt but tell him to relax a bit and stop txting you that much or you would be scared away.

but from my experience, people who are too keen at the start before you guys even meet are either immature that dont know the social rules or ... married ( :eek: )!

Yeah ill see. Woke up to a good morning message this morning, god its getting on my nerves already...:( I dont like feeling pressure to reply to people straight away and even more so being questioned on why i havent replied yet...
This guy is 38, so not too young, he seemed nice enough on mails initially but ill just see how it fairs out over the next few days. Dont want to have to feel i have to be in contact every day!!

Chriscork12

parker kent wrote: »

You can't just throw out the "there are no good men" line. Have a look through this thread, there are plenty of guys like me that just want to meet somebody nice.

I hope you are right

Chriscork12

andreac wrote: »

Yeah ill see. Woke up to a good morning message this morning, god its getting on my nerves already...:( I dont like feeling pressure to reply to people straight away and even more so being questioned on why i havent replied yet...
This guy is 38, so not too young, he seemed nice enough on mails initially but ill just see how it fairs out over the next few days. Dont want to have to feel i have to be in contact every day!!

I really dont see this ending well...he is already causing u some emotional torment and ye havent even met... if it was me i would block and move on...

Chriscork12

Veles wrote: »

What do ye think of anotherfriend?

I think they are all pretty much the same... I have been on them all and its pretty much the same people on them all

That_Guy

Just asked a girl out. Wish me luck lads/lassies.

Galwayguy35

Had a date yesterday. We were chatting on the phone and through FB and when we met up it seemed to go well. She lives a bit away so i drove up to see her and we went for a meal. All seemed good until on the way back she asked me to send on €100 and could i top up her phone as well as she is broke. WTF talk about a waste of time! :mad:

sharper

andreac wrote: »

Dont want to have to feel i have to be in contact every day!!

Have you said this to him? Communicating via text is difficult, people missing all the cues that tell them how the other is reacting. If you're not explicitly telling him he's contacting you too much he's not going to know.

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Had a date yesterday. We were chatting on the phone and through FB and when we met up it seemed to go well. She lives a bit away so i drove up to see her and we went for a meal. All seemed good until on the way back she asked me to send on €100 and could i top up her phone as well as she is broke. WTF talk about a waste of time! :mad:

Wow. Just wow.

argosy2006

That_Guy wrote: »

Just asked a girl out. Wish me luck lads/lassies.

Wish you luck,
What is she getting back to you with an answer , Not a instant yes lol

Chriscork12

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Had a date yesterday. We were chatting on the phone and through FB and when we met up it seemed to go well. She lives a bit away so i drove up to see her and we went for a meal. All seemed good until on the way back she asked me to send on €100 and could i top up her phone as well as she is broke. WTF talk about a waste of time! :mad:

What did u say to her?

That_Guy

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Had a date yesterday. We were chatting on the phone and through FB and when we met up it seemed to go well. She lives a bit away so i drove up to see her and we went for a meal. All seemed good until on the way back she asked me to send on €100 and could i top up her phone as well as she is broke. WTF talk about a waste of time! :mad:

You're joking me right? Wow.

As per the lass that I've asked out on a date, she only just joined the site last night and feels it's too early to meet up with people but we're going to keep talking as she said she'd like to meet up with me in the future.

Not a yay, not a yay but a may. :pac: