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Online Dating

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    #9332
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    I'm still seeing the POF/OKC divide. I always get a good percentage of replies/dates on OK Cupid. Whereas I get virtually nothing on POF bar the odd short reply. I really think that the different layout makes a difference. POF favours the shorter profile whereas most people on OKC have a fairly detailed profile.

    The only downside for OKC is the much smaller pool of people. Which is a pity really as it is by the far the best layout on dating sites.


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    #9333
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    parker kent wrote: »
    I'm still seeing the POF/OKC divide. I always get a good percentage of replies/dates on OK Cupid. Whereas I get virtually nothing on POF bar the odd short reply. I really think that the different layout makes a difference. POF favours the shorter profile whereas most people on OKC have a fairly detailed profile.

    The only downside for OKC is the much smaller pool of people. Which is a pity really as it is by the far the best layout on dating sites.

    Agreed.

    Weird OKC story actually. I messaged a girl about a day or two ago and she told me not to message her because we were supposed to be "enemies" according to their oh so accurate thingy. :pac:


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    #9334
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    That_Guy wrote: »
    Weird OKC story actually. I messaged a girl about a day or two ago and she told me not to message her because we were supposed to be "enemies" according to their oh so accurate thingy. :pac:

    Ha! I hope she was messing.

    In another random outburst, getting a reply that sounds really enthusiastic and then never hearing from the person again does get a bit annoying!


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    #9335
    coonecb1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 523 ✭✭✭coonecb1


    Chriscork12 wrote: »
    No its is not ok to do that u will more than likely get ignored..and why would you want to anyway? They could be totally nuts or ye have nothing in common or lots of other reasons. thats why u should chat a bit first to see are ye get on

    Thanks for the tip, but I'm still a bit unclear how long or short my first message should be.

    Is there a standard type of message, is it 1 line of a whole paragraph?

    Do you ask questions of the girl, or just talk mainly about yourself?


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    #9336
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    parker kent wrote: »
    Ha! I hope she was messing.

    In another random outburst, getting a reply that sounds really enthusiastic and then never hearing from the person again does get a bit annoying!

    I asked a girl out on that site having seemingly gotten on quite well. She deleted her profile. Simple no would've been grand like. :pac:


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    #9337
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    coonecb1 wrote: »
    Thanks for the tip, but I'm still a bit unclear how long or short my first message should be.

    Is there a standard type of message, is it 1 line of a whole paragraph?

    Do you ask questions of the girl, or just talk mainly about yourself?

    If you have similar interests that she mentions on her profile you should start with that.

    "Hi there, I notice that you're interested in....." or something to that effect.


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    #9338
    missbelle
    Registered Users Posts: 494 ✭✭missbelle


    parker kent wrote: »
    The only downside for OKC is the much smaller pool of people. Which is a pity really as it is by the far the best layout on dating sites.

    I deleted my OKC profile, wasn't too mad on it - plus kept getting msgs off guys in England & USA :eek: :confused:


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    #9339
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    Online dating is just depressing when there's no one you can mail.


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    #9340
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    That_Guy wrote: »
    I asked a girl out on that site having seemingly gotten on quite well. She deleted her profile. Simple no would've been grand like. :pac:

    The abandon ship moment is never good for the self esteem! I have had something similar happen once before. A bit annoying when you think there may be a connection.

    I currently have three girls talking to me that I like. I have 2 dates arranged...if I get the hat trick I may be over extending myself!


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    #9341
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    parker kent wrote: »
    The abandon ship moment is never good for the self esteem! I have had something similar happen once before. A bit annoying when you think there may be a connection.

    I currently have three girls talking to me that I like. I have 2 dates arranged...if I get the hat trick I may be over extending myself!

    Nice one mate. Best of luck with them. :)


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    #9342
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    missbelle wrote: »
    I deleted my OKC profile, wasn't too mad on it - plus kept getting msgs off guys in England & USA :eek: :confused:

    I guess different sites suit different people. I have had zero success of POF. But OKC seems to have girls that I actually have things in common with. I wouldn't even know how to start chat with an awful lot of the girls on POF.


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    #9343
    missbelle
    Registered Users Posts: 494 ✭✭missbelle


    parker kent wrote: »
    I guess different sites suit different people. I have had zero success of POF. But OKC seems to have girls that I actually have things in common with. I wouldn't even know how to start chat with an awful lot of the girls on POF.

    I tried maybefriends, OKC, smooch, and POF.

    maybefriends was OK, apart from the fact that as I didn't want to subscribe, I couldn't send messages first. got two dates from it, but a lot of older guys were messaging me too.

    OKC wasn't too bad, but as I mentioned a lot of guys abroad were contacting me, I didn't see the point.

    Didn't like smooch at all :eek:

    POF is grand, bit head-wrecking at times, and this meet-me thing can be annoying, like 1 guy ticked meet-me and added me as a favourite, then I messaged him & no reply :confused: and he's been online since & viewed my profile.
    Just went on a date with one guy so far from POF, nice guy, but then I got the blank treatment after :( Aw well, I won't lose all hope just yet :D


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    #9344
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    missbelle wrote: »
    OKC wasn't too bad, but as I mentioned a lot of guys abroad were contacting me, I didn't see the point.

    You can set it up where people from abroad can't contact you. That would cut down the crap a bit.

    The blank treatment is a bit annoying.


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    #9345
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    parker kent wrote: »
    The blank treatment is a bit annoying.

    That, and also if you click onto a girls profile and read it all the way through and notice that you've got a lot in common only to realise that she hasn't been online in months.


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    #9346
    missbelle
    Registered Users Posts: 494 ✭✭missbelle


    parker kent wrote: »
    You can set it up where people from abroad can't contact you. That would cut down the crap a bit.

    Just reactivated my OKC account, is it just under I'm Looking for that I put Near me?

    A message already ;) though apparently we're only 19% match :P


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    #9347
    Lon Dubh
    Registered Users Posts: 227 ✭✭Lon Dubh


    Galwayguy35 wrote: »
    Had a date yesterday. We were chatting on the phone and through FB and when we met up it seemed to go well. She lives a bit away so i drove up to see her and we went for a meal. All seemed good until on the way back she asked me to send on €100 and could i top up her phone as well as she is broke. WTF talk about a waste of time! :mad:

    Just incredible. What a cheek of her. At least you found out quickly what she was like, but still annoying.


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    #9348
    Chriscork12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18 ✭Chriscork12


    coonecb1 wrote: »
    Thanks for the tip, but I'm still a bit unclear how long or short my first message should be.

    Is there a standard type of message, is it 1 line of a whole paragraph?

    Do you ask questions of the girl, or just talk mainly about yourself?
    I personally prefer to get messages saying something simple like "Hi i saw ur profile and sounds like we have a few things in common would you lke to chat" something short and sweet like that. I just ignore the ones that are too long as its obvious its just copied and pasted to anyone. If they dont reply on first message never send another .. hope that helps :)


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    #9349
    johnj26
    Closed Accounts Posts: 24 ✭johnj26


    I'm ok looking guy and think ive decent profile but any girl i like i mail then she views me then doesn't wb :( what's the point


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    #9350
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    missbelle wrote: »
    Just reactivated my OKC account, is it just under I'm Looking for that I put Near me?

    You need to go to message settings and then message filters.


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    #9351
    sharper
    Registered Users Posts: 1,216 ✭✭✭sharper


    johnj26 wrote: »
    I'm ok looking guy and think ive decent profile but any girl i like i mail then she views me then doesn't wb :( what's the point

    Is English your first language? People are always going to be suspicious of broken English in a mail.


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    #9352
    Snoopy1
    Registered Users Posts: 4,185 ✭✭✭Snoopy1


    I wouldnt pay any attention to the % match ok Cupid gives you. I think it's a waste of time, how does a website know you are a good match based on a series of totally irrelevant questions it asks.


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    #9353
    sharper
    Registered Users Posts: 1,216 ✭✭✭sharper


    Snoopy1 wrote: »
    how does a website know you are a good match based on a series of totally irrelevant questions it asks.

    Based on how each answered the questions and on the importance each assigned to them. I find that it works pretty well in general. For example there's a question on there that goes:

    How much can intelligence turn you on?
    -A lot
    -A bit
    -Intelligence does nothing for me either way.
    -Intelligence turns me off.

    How someone answers it tells me a lot about how compatible I am with them.


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    #9354
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    The percentages aren't completely irrelevant. I find that people with a high match actually have pretty similar interests. Plus like Sharper says above, not all of those questions are irrelevant. Obviously take it with a pinch of salt, but there is something to it.


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    #9355
    BigDuffman
    Registered Users Posts: 1,512 ✭✭✭BigDuffman


    Interesting to see how many boardsies are on these sites. Would love to find out how many people on this thread have actually talked to each other and never known it!! This forum could very well end up being a constructive criticism of your POFing. Or an independent profile review board!


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    #9356
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    BigDuffman wrote: »
    Interesting to see how many boardsies are on these sites. Would love to find out how many people on this thread have actually talked to each other and never known it!! This forum could very well end up being a constructive criticism of your POFing. Or an independent profile review board!

    I don't know about never knowing it. I know that me and Snoopy1 met more cos of this thread though, than any of the sites.


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    #9357
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    Well some have talked to each other and know about it. I've had the "are you PK?" comment a few times and have asked one person were they from Boards. I've recognised a few other faces too. Others probably (actually definitely) have and don't know about it.


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    #9358
    sharper
    Registered Users Posts: 1,216 ✭✭✭sharper


    I've only spotted one person from here on okc. Who knows how many are reading this and interacting with each other without realising it!


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    #9359
    BigDuffman
    Registered Users Posts: 1,512 ✭✭✭BigDuffman


    I've been spotted once or twice myself. Always a nice way to keep a conversation moving. Ha ha will have to start paying more attention to the know your clubbers thread and do some matching work with anyone I'm chatting to.

    Be interesting to see if the profile gets a bashing, I was accused of being arrogant as I made a note at bottom of profile about what I am NOT looking for in a woman (narcisists etc). If anyone wishes to give a critique this addition and offer opinions PM moi.


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    #9360
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    Galvasean favourited me on OKC. :pac:


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    #9361
    hollypink
    Registered Users Posts: 1,508 ✭✭✭hollypink


    BigDuffman wrote: »
    Be interesting to see if the profile gets a bashing, I was accused of being arrogant as I made a note at bottom of profile about what I am NOT looking for in a woman (narcisists etc). If anyone wishes to give a critique this addition and offer opinions PM moi.

    I wouldn't describe it as arrogant but I don't really like profiles that have negative stuff like "no headwreckers/crazy women" etc. For one thing, it's not going to actually deter people with those characteristics because people aren't going to recognise those negative traits in themselves. A classic narcissist browsing through profiles isn't going to think "oh he's not looking for a narcissist, that's me excluded so" :p

    The other thing I don't like about it is that you're given the opportunity to describe yourself briefly so why introduce a negative tone? Maybe instead, you could describe what you are looking for in a woman. Just a thought.


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