Online Dating

Pembily

I've had at least 6people recognise me on okc! It's kinda funny / freaky!

liz2

i don't think anybody has spotted me on the sites!

parker kent

liz2 wrote: »

i don't think anybody has spotted me on the sites!

That's the Cork location working against you!

cyrusdvirus

liz2 wrote: »

i don't think anybody has spotted me on the sites!

That depends... i seem to recall a picture of someone looking up at a camera... name liz, location Cork... can't remember which site it was on though, and all my profiles have been voluntarily deleted.

C.D.

gatecrash wrote: »

That depends... i seem to recall a picture of someone looking up at a camera... name liz, location Cork... can't remember which site it was on though, and all my profiles have been voluntarily deleted.

I second this! I have not put any pictures up on boards (I like being able to post under the shadowy cloak of anonymity!) so would be AMAZED if any boardsies had spotted me.

sharper

Oh! And I've spotted at least 2 from okc in the street, I'm very unobservant (I walk right past people I know!) so I'd guess I've bumped shoulders with more than that.

BigDuffman

hollypink wrote: »

I wouldn't describe it as arrogant but I don't really like profiles that have negative stuff like "no headwreckers/crazy women" etc. For one thing, it's not going to actually deter people with those characteristics because people aren't going to recognise those negative traits in themselves. A classic narcissist browsing through profiles isn't going to think "oh he's not looking for a narcissist, that's me excluded so"

The other thing I don't like about it is that you're given the opportunity to describe yourself briefly so why introduce a negative tone? Maybe instead, you could describe what you are looking for in a woman. Just a thought.

Nothing negative I just mentioned that not interested in gold diggers and you'd be surprised how many people refer to themselves with something along the lines of "I'm a beautiful diva, if you can't deal with that well jog on, looking for a mature man to spoil me"!

As has been brought up on this thread by a poster there are girls out there looking to scam money!

liz2

gatecrash wrote: »

That depends... i seem to recall a picture of someone looking up at a camera... name liz, location Cork... can't remember which site it was on though, and all my profiles have been voluntarily deleted.

ive never actually used this name on the sites

but i do use the same pic!

parker kent

liz2 wrote: »

ive never actually used this name on the sites

but i do use the same pic!

Cue a sudden hoard of Boardsies searching in Cork :pac:

liz2

parker kent wrote: »

Cue a sudden hoard of Boardsies searching in Cork :pac:

haha

there's only a small minority of us corkonians on here thou..

parker kent

liz2 wrote: »

there's only a small minority of us corkonians on here thou..

Yeah that was my original point, anybody based in Dublin would have a greater chance of being spotted.

Snoopy1

I'm sure I was spotted but then again I did voluntarily post my dating site username up on this thread. Only thing with that was all the lads at work found out as well.
I'm so blind and I pay no attention to anyone I see out an about I would never recognise anyone who's pictures I've seen on boards or dating sites.

YFlyer

missbelle wrote: »

Hey chatterpillar, the same happened to me. was supposed to meet a guy on a Sunday day date, and he texted about 7pm the sat to say something had come up and he'd like to reschedule. A month on, I'm still waiting :eek:

He is just been laid back.

missbelle

parker kent wrote: »

You need to go to message settings and then message filters.

Thanks - done, didn't know those filters were about. So I stopped females contacting me too, you never know

missbelle

YFlyer wrote: »

He is just been laid back.

Hmm he could have at least text since to rearrange the date. I thought he was genuine, but not a peep since.

parker kent

I found this on Reddit: A list of DO's and DONT's for OKC profiles.

Most profiles tend to make the same mistakes, and flooding this subreddit with requests to review personal profiles is crowding out more interesting topics like horror stories or other fun OKC anecdotes. So let's band together to create a master list of profile "fixes" that apply across the board so we can move on to broader topics for all the OKCers on here!

I will periodically update the main post with suggestions from the replies.

DO

Talk about specific things that interest you

Explain WHY you like things or have the goals you have

Encourage readers to agree/disagree to contact you

Be positive

Have fun with it

Post good pictures:

pictures of yourself happy / having fun
pictures showing your hobbies and interests / social life
send messages to people who visit your profile

create the impression of someone who is fun and interesting to be around, not just a bland description

put your astrological sign in - its a great opener

create an element of mystery about your most private thing to admit - make the reader want to ask you more

reveal kids early in your profile if you have them

DON'T

leave blank parts in your profile

write a laundry list of mate requirements - you never know who will click

post bad / sad pics - quality trumps quantity

denigrate yourself - this comes across as low self esteem

write a resume of locations/jobs

mention depression or sadness

use hostile language to describe the opposite sex

sit around waiting to be contacted

talk about your past relationships in your profile

write about how bad you are at writing about yourself

just list activities and interests - flesh them out

post pics of duck face

mention your salary - there is no positive outcome for doing so

discuss things that are stereotype-loaded things like video games, anime, martial arts, etc.

write "message me!" for your most private thing

say "I want kids". The 'likes kids' profile question is code for that

put a picture of more than one person in it without identifying which one is you

wear sunglasses in more than one of your pics

be self-deprecating unless you REALLY know what you are doing

make your profile too long, or too short

send messages that are too long - be fun but don't overthink it!

parker kent

And now a list of DOs and DON'Ts for messages! Credit reddit :P

DON'T

Continue to message if the other person isn't interested.

Signs they're probably not interested:

One line replies.
Lack of questions in reply
Doesn't add anything new to the conversation
Unwilling to meet in person: the "I need time to feel comfortable" excuse
Don't try to push or pressure. This never works. You may think it makes you look interested, but it only makes you look desperate. * Make condescending or critical remarks. Stay positive no matter what.

Write off-topic replies. If they're not talking about it already, and it's not mentioned somewhere in their profile, don't bring it up. Off-topic doesn't mean don't ask questions. Questions are good. Launching into an impassioned rant about something is not.

Some examples of things that are probably off-topic unless the other person has expressed interest:

Your job
Your car
How wasted/high you get on a Friday night
The card collection you've been building for the last 10 years
The amount of time/money you spend playing videogames & watching movies
In other words, don't geek out about it unless you know the feeling is mutual.

Send multiple messages if they haven't replied to you yet (especially ones that include expressions of anger about lack of replies)

DO

Write targeted messages. Generic replies are a dime-a-dozen, and they get ignored. Keep the reply short. Long paragraphs are overwhelming and make you look too eager.
Write messages that keep the conversation going. Try to end on a question or add additional info. Otherwise, they'll think you're the one who's not interested.
Mirror the other person's tone. If they're playful, be playful back. This is especially important for sarcasm and irony, which are hard to read without body language. Don't try it unless it's obvious that the other person understands what you're doing.

Snoopy1

I actually want to kill myself after reading those rules!!

parker kent

Snoopy1 wrote: »

I actually want to kill myself after reading those rules!!

Well they are not rules, just general tips. Everybody should change them slightly to suit their own style.

Samich

Snoopy1 wrote: »

I actually want to kill myself after reading those rules!!

Stop complaining you! :P You're sorted :P

YFlyer

missbelle wrote: »

Hmm he could have at least text since to rearrange the date. I thought he was genuine, but not a peep since.

He could be arranging dates with a number of people.

parker kent

YFlyer wrote: »

He could be arranging dates with a number of people.

In fairness, a text only takes about a minute.

managerman

any dates this week guys and gals??

ladylost

I've been reading this great thread for good while now. First post so apologies if it's a bit rambling.

Tried POF before with some success. Took profile down for a while. I created a new one a few weeks back but not having much luck. Changed my profile a few times to no avail. I don't want to put up my pic full time as I recognise way too many work related people and am very private person.

Could I ask if someone would take a look at my profile and let me know what you think. I have contacted a few guys, I include a pic when I do but not getting any replies. I'm not Elle MacPherson but don't think I'm Shrek either. Confidence taking a little battering at the moment

missbelle

YFlyer wrote: »

He could be arranging dates with a number of people.

well it's his loss...I'm deadly

missbelle

ladylost wrote: »

Could I ask if someone would take a look at my profile and let me know what you think. I have contacted a few guys, I include a pic when I do but not getting any replies. I'm not Elle MacPherson but don't think I'm Shrek either. Confidence taking a little battering at the moment

Don't feel down about it lady, I'm sure you're a lovely lady!

Could someone do the same for me, take a peek at my profile for me, any advice? :cool:

Samich

I can do both of ye :pac:
Look at ye'r profiles I mean :P

Derek!

Keep your heads up folks, these things take time :cool:

That_Guy

managerman wrote: »

any dates this week guys and gals??

Working on it. No joy yet.

Samich

mutual meet me on a site, chatting, getting on well, she asks for fb, we have 1 mutual friend, she obviously looked through my pics, had a few on site, then says all of a sudden when I said she looked good that she wasn't looking for anything right now. I feel great!!!!!!! :pac: