Online Dating

parker kent · 25-04-2011 4:20pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Argh sorry but yeah it does take 1 hour for me to get ready no matter where I am going.

Sure I can not put any make up on and expose my white heads and acne...sure thats going to go down well. Would you like any cream with that coffee sir?

Are you on another planet? What woman is not going to get ready for a date?

Sorry parker kent, your off the list if you think a woman "looks fantastic" and doesnt need to put some sort of make up on etc for a date...sorry "quick coffee".

I didn't say "don't get ready". I'm just saying if 2 people agree to meet for coffee and both people know it is casual, there is no need to put a large amount of preparation into the date.

There is a difference between putting on some make-up and preparing for an all-out, bells and whistles date. I've lived with girls all my life. I know how long it takes women to get ready. For a coffee date, I wouldn't expect a girl to make any extra effort than they normally go to for their daily lives. However long you normally spend getting ready to leave the house, is the amount of time I expect a girl to spend getting ready for coffee.

ToniTuddle · 25-04-2011 4:21pm

Hyperbullet wrote: »

Brilliant mental image though.

-Meet date at café.
-Place large stopwatch on the table timed at 30 minutes on the table.
-Declare "You have 30 minutes to impress me fair maiden! HAVE AT IT!" in front of everyone in café.

Dating like a f*cking boss

Know what I'm getting you for your birthday now :pac:

Snowie · 25-04-2011 4:21pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Oh im not disputing the fact that its good to meet up for a "date". But when did it all become so clinical and boring? How is anybody going to get a feel for someone in 30 minutes? Thats just bonkers.

lol you dont even no me ....

I just hope you guys clearly state this in your profiles. That way the likes of me can avoid wasting emails/text or whatever to you in the 1st place.

So what about when you meet some one and he calls you the worst of the worst 90% of the people online after a meet you'le never keep intouch so your point being what exactly ?

I completely stand by, I would never ever ever ever meet a guy for 30 minutes. Id go out for a pint or even coffee...but Id at least expect it to last for 2 hours.

i like the way you concentrate on the 30mins, when i did say an hour too, I stand bye what i say why sit with some one i have no interest in ?
To be nice, sure if they had no interest in me there not gonna want to be there.

Your judgement of people must be very poor if you think you can get to know them in 30 minutes or that they would bore you to tears after 2 hours.

Im not meeting them to get to know them I meeting them to see if theres a a spark!

Complete disrespect for people having that stinking attitude. Ive never been attracted to any guy ive ever ever gone on a date with from online. Doesnt mean I didnt enjoy our dates!!! So no, I would never ever adapt this stinking attitude towards dating. Its gross imo

Your just being slightly hyper sensitive. Obvously if things are going well I'll adjust my thinking but i never plan for things to go well.
Its not gross just I dont like painfull situations.

Crann na Beatha · 25-04-2011 4:23pm

This post has been deleted.

parker kent · 25-04-2011 4:25pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Wont be bothering with the free websites anymore if this is the attitude from men about "oh its not a date" attitude. Totally not the type men I want to be dating. If the men on the free dating websites cant manage to hold a conversation, then it says alot for them!!!

I'm not attacking you, but I think that attitude is not going to win friends. There are both men and women replying to you here in favour of coffee dates. All we are saying is that it is one option for online dating. With online dating, it is easy to end up on dates with a few different people. For various reasons, it is practical to have a coffee with them before deciding to have a further date.

It is not that we can't hold a conversation (which is a pretty rude generalisation to make), but that a coffee date leaves the option of ending it earlier should there be any reason to end it early.

magneticimpulse · 25-04-2011 4:34pm

parker kent wrote: »

I didn't say "don't get ready". I'm just saying if 2 people agree to meet for coffee and both people know it is casual, there is no need to put a large amount of preparation into the date.

There is a difference between putting on some make-up and preparing for an all-out, bells and whistles date. I've lived with girls all my life. I know how long it takes women to get ready. For a coffee date, I wouldn't expect a girl to make any extra effort than they normally go to for their daily lives. However long you normally spend getting ready to leave the house, is the amount of time I expect a girl to spend getting ready for coffee.

Are you a woman? It takes the same exact amount of time. The only difference is the choice of clothes to wear! Which might take longer to put on for the coffee as it could be jeans and top. Night out might be a dress which is quicker to put on.

Haha I am a woman. And just so im not the only weird woman out there. I have also lived with lots of women. And we take the same amount of time to get ready for work/date/night out. The only reason a night out might seem longer is because we are chatting to each other over a glass of wine. In which case would mean it takes 2 hours to get ready

The make up and hair takes the same amount of time in both cases!

magneticimpulse · 25-04-2011 4:38pm

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

lol you dont even no me ....

So what about when you meet some one and he calls you the worst of the worst

90% of the people online after a meet you'le never keep intouch so your point being what exactly ?

i like the way you concentrate on the 30mins, when i did say an hour too, I stand bye what i say why sit with some one i have no interest in ?
To be nice, sure if they had no interest in me there not gonna want to be there.

Im not meeting them to get to know them I meeting them to see if theres a a spark!

Your just being slightly hyper sensitive. Obvously if things are going well I'll adjust my thinking but i never plan for things to go well.
Its not gross just I dont like painfull situations.

Yeah thats because that bloke was from POF. Which seems to be the general attitude from guys on POF.

Ive kept in contact with everyone I met via match.com. We meet up for drinks still and they are a far better bunch of guys. Went on dates and they lasted the evening. Any single guys I know use match.com, be it work colleagues or friends. So it obviously means like minded people to me are using it.

I think its rude to end a date. Oh my dog just died, I have to go, bye!!

I rather quality over quantity when it comes to dating.

Exactly why I prefer match.com. The guys are willing to spend more time with a girl. Even cook dinner etc for the 1st date.

parker kent · 25-04-2011 4:43pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Are you a woman? It takes the same exact amount of time. The only difference is the choice of clothes to wear! Which might take longer to put on for the coffee as it could be jeans and top. Night out might be a dress which is quicker to put on.

The make up and hair takes the same amount of time in both cases!

There is no need for nit-picking over such a small point. I'm just saying that the length of time you spend getting ready has nothing to do with the date. For a coffee date, you are not expected to put in any more effort than you otherwise would have on a dateless day. I'm not expecting you to do anything different than you would have made for that day.

You just seem to be over reacting to the idea of a coffee date. It's a simple idea, a get-to-know you meeting. It leaves the option of ending it earlier for whatever reason. If you don't like each other, it is better to end it early than sitting there in cold, silence wishing it were over. However long it took you to do your hair is not really relevant.

ToniTuddle · 25-04-2011 4:44pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Are you a woman? It takes the same exact amount of time. The only difference is the choice of clothes to wear! Which might take longer to put on for the coffee as it could be jeans and top. Night out might be a dress which is quicker to put on.

Haha I am a woman. And just so im not the only weird woman out there. I have also lived with lots of women. And we take the same amount of time to get ready for work/date/night out. The only reason a night out might seem longer is because we are chatting to each other over a glass of wine. In which case would mean it takes 2 hours to get ready

The make up and hair takes the same amount of time in both cases!

I'm a woman and I can get ready and be quite decent looking in 15mins when pushed for time. Even managed full on shower and night out type getting ready in a half hour! Skilled I am

:pac:

Do have times of being fierce lazy and taking a few hours to get ready. Though in fairness.... half of that is spent dancing about to songs on youtube :pac:

Hyperbullet · 25-04-2011 4:44pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Exactly why I prefer match.com. The guys are willing to spend more time with a girl. Even cook dinner etc for the 1st date.

Cooking dinner on a first date? Are they willing to meet at the alter the morning after as well? I'm a decent cook and even I wouldn't suggest cooking a woman dinner on the first date, I can't image the pressure that would be on a lad who can barely do beans on toast. Its not exactly informal is it?

magneticimpulse · 25-04-2011 4:46pm

parker kent wrote: »

There is no need for nit-picking over such a small point. I'm just saying that the length of time you spend getting ready has nothing to do with the date. For a coffee date, you are not expected to put in any more effort than you otherwise would have on a dateless day. I'm not expecting you to do anything different than you would have made for that day.

You just seem to be over reacting to the idea of a coffee date. It's a simple idea, a get-to-know you meeting. It leaves the option of ending it earlier for whatever reason. If you don't like each other, it is better to end it early than sitting there in cold, silence wishing it were over. However long it took you to do your hair is not really relevant.

There is a difference to a dateless day. A dateless day I dont wear any makeup and wear jeans with holes and my skater shoes. Have my hair tied back in a pony tail. I usually put on all the creams like benzoyl peroxide etc to remove blemishes which have a strong smell. I let my skin breathe on those days. I could never turn up to a quick coffee date like that.

A coffee, I would put on make up and straighten my hair...which for me would be the same as getting ready for a "date"/ night out makeup.

There is a huge difference in a dateless day to a quick coffee date in my case, thats why I would hate for it to only last 30 minutes.

Well I will be making it clear before I go on a date, is it worth putting makeup and straightening my hair if they are scared there might be silence and want to "end" the date early.

Dravokivich · 25-04-2011 4:47pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

hey im the one getting 100 emails on a daily basis, I can afford to pick and mix

Not having a go, but I do tend to find your posts here rather confusing.

You've been going on lately about being desperate in the dry spell thread and that you intend to throw yourself at every man possible.

You've been going on here about how there's never anything good enough for you, yet you are also always going on about how much attention is coming your way.

Surely, it can't be both?

parker kent · 25-04-2011 4:48pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

OKC is a pile of pooh. Worst format of a website I have ever used in my life. Really hate it. At least I can be mildly impressed by POF new revamped site. OKC, crap. The % get on and enemy? Whats that about? Selection on it is woeful as well.

Eh....thanks? :pac:

Edit: Your Katy Perry example is just ridiculous. It is not as it I would be meeting a girl for dinner seconds after she has been woken up and is still in bed. Again, I will repeat myself. I know what girls look like with and without make-up. I know that girls (and guys) want to look their best. But I'm just saying that I don't expect girls to pull out all the stops for a coffee date. Just make the same effort you would for any other day. That is the point of it being casual. You are turning this into a male v female thing, despite you being the only one strongly against coffee dates.

magneticimpulse · 25-04-2011 4:50pm

Hyperbullet wrote: »

Cooking dinner on a first date? Are they willing to meet at the alter the morning after as well? I'm a decent cook and even I wouldn't suggest cooking a woman dinner on the first date, I can't image the pressure that would be on a lad who can barely do beans on toast. Its not exactly informal is it?

He is English, thats why. English guys dont have so many rules like Irish guys for a 1st date.

magneticimpulse · 25-04-2011 4:54pm

parker kent wrote: »

Eh....thanks? :pac:

Edit: Your Katy Perry example is just ridiculous. It is not as it I would be meeting a girl for dinner seconds after she has been woken up and is still in bed. Again, I will repeat myself. I know what girls look like with and without make-up. I know that girls (and guys) want to look their best. But I'm just saying that I don't expect girls to pull out all the stops for a coffee date. Just make the same effort you would for any other day. That is the point of it being casual. You are turning this into a male v female thing, despite you being the only one strongly against coffee dates.

Im making a big deal, because I dont make an effort any other day. Most days im in the library studying with no makeup. I look like katy perry in the 1st photo on a "normal" college day and I look like katy perry in the 2nd photo after I spend time to get ready for coffee date.

Therefore in my case, a coffee date is a big deal to get ready for.

parker kent · 25-04-2011 4:55pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

He is English, thats why. English guys dont have so many rules like Irish guys for a 1st date.

Jesus Christ. We are just saying that coffee is an OPTION. You seem to be the one with the rules saying that dates have to 2 hours. Both the men and women on this thread are saying coffee is an option.

Or else I am just annoyed the secret Irishman's Code of Dating has been rumbled. Damn those smooth, elegant, handsome, intelligent and charming English men :pac:

Kevin Duffy · 25-04-2011 4:59pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

He is English, thats why. English guys dont have so many rules like Irish guys for a 1st date.

All this and casual, ridiculous national stereotyping nonsense thrown in as a bonus.

magneticimpulse · 25-04-2011 5:07pm

Coffee used to be an option in my book. But after seeing what its really code for today on here, i'll never go on a coffee date again.

I cant believe how rude the guys on POF are. Guys come on here saying its ok for girls not to make much effort on a coffee date and then they criticise them after dates because they didnt like the clothes the girl was wearing,she was not sexy enough, how they dressed etc?

No what im totally against is that Irish guys are used to women looking hot and sexy on a night out. How can we compare with our hot and sexy selves when we are in a sweater and jeans?? Then they complain that there was no chemistry on their afternoon coffee date? Stop the lights!!! You cant expect to have a drop dead gorgeous Kelly Brooke in your espresso break in front of your eyes if she is covered up up a sweater and jeans. Thats what im against. Majority of Irish people have no problem chatting to each other. Lots of Irish guys, expect a sexy woman. Coffee and sex appeal just dont go together!!!

Guys are going to fail if they expect Katy Perry photo 2 to turn up for coffee. But in reality they most likely get Katy Perry in photo 1. Ive been there and done the afternoon casual date thing. It was an epic fail, the guy complained I was not sexy enough!!! Its like for god's sake men, make up your mind. You cant have both. Im dead sexy in a dress...but just average in normal clothes. Majority women are the same. You cant have both sexy chemistry and "casual" in a coffee date. The 2 will never work. If it does tell me the secret!!!

POF is totally in the toilet now.

match.com im running back to you with open arms.

Kevin Duffy · 25-04-2011 5:12pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Coffee used to be an option in my book. But after seeing what its really code for today on here, .

Erm, code for meeting meeting for a coffee to see if there's a mutual interest in meeting again for something longer and more elaborate? Well, the scales have fallen from my eyes.

parker kent · 25-04-2011 5:14pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Coffee used to be an option in my book. But after seeing what its really code for today on here, i'll never go on a coffee date again.

I cant believe how rude the guys on POF are. Guys come on here saying its ok for girls not to make much effort on a coffee date and then they criticise them after dates because they didnt like the clothes the girl was wearing,she was not sexy enough, how they dressed etc?

POF is totally in the toilet now.

match.com im running back to you with open arms.

Who is criticising girls here for what they wear? Just because you met some knob who did that does not mean the guys on here are thinking that. I also didn't say "Don't make an effort". I'm just saying there is no need to pull out all the stops. You posted pictures of Katy Perry just after waking up and compared them with Katy Perry in full costume on stage. That is a ridiculous comparison. There is a Grand Canyon sized middle ground.

You are consistently ignoring that there are girls on here in favour of meeting for coffee first. Any online date I've had that was suggested by a girl involved coffee. It is a practical way to meet somebody and have a chat. It leaves the option to sit for 2 hours, to go for a walk, to go for drinks, to arrange another date or to leave after 30 minutes.

Just less of the dramatic over-reactions and generalisations would be better.

magneticimpulse · 25-04-2011 5:17pm

parker kent wrote: »

Who is criticising girls here for what they wear? Just because you met some knob who did that does not mean the guys on here are thinking that. I also didn't say "Don't make an effort". I'm just saying there is no need to pull out all the stops. You posted pictures of Katy Perry just after waking up and compared them with Katy Perry in full costume on stage. That is a ridiculous comparison. There is a Grand Canyon sized middle ground.

You are consistently ignoring that there are girls on here in favour of meeting for coffee first. Any online date I've had that was suggested by a girl involved coffee. It is a practical way to meet somebody and have a chat. It leaves the option to sit for 2 hours, to go for a walk, to go for drinks, to arrange another date or to leave after 30 minutes.

Just less of the dramatic over-reactions and generalisations would be better.

The guys who are posting here, but sending me PM and telling me where the date went wrong and why they didnt find the girl sexy during coffee because the clothes she wore they did not like.

parker kent · 25-04-2011 5:20pm

Sweater and jeans can look great. Think this girl would disappoint guys if she went for coffee dressed like this?

If a girl showed up for a casual coffee dressed to the nines, I'd be pretty surprised. Men are not stupid creatures that see a sweater and think "Wow I can't see skin, therefore she is ugly."

magneticimpulse · 25-04-2011 5:23pm

parker kent wrote: »

Sweater and jeans can look great. Think this girl would disappoint guys if she went for coffee dressed like this?

If a girl showed up for a casual coffee dressed to the nines, I'd be pretty surprised. Men are not stupid creatures that see a sweater and think "Wow I can't see skin, therefore she is ugly."

For a start this girl looks French. She has European Continental "type" of flawless skin, naturally bronzed skin. Her face is flawless, her hair thick and is "naturally" looking as if its straight.

Unfortunately I have the Irish Farmer, ginger pale type skin with pink undertones. Fine frizzy hair!!! My face and hair alone could not make this outfit look sexy. I would need to counter balance my pinky pale skin with some boobs or whatever.

I hope your profile says your looking for French girls...as if my Irish counterparts are anything to go by, you wont be getting a huge rush of Irish girls with continental looks.

Kevin Duffy · 25-04-2011 5:26pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

The guys who are posting here, but sending me PM and telling me where the date went wrong and why they didnt find the girl sexy during coffee because the clothes she wore they did not like.

Ah, the PM's Of Truth tm

parker kent · 25-04-2011 5:27pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

For a start this girl looks French. She has European Continental "type" of flawless skin, naturally bronzed skin. Her face is flawless, her hair thick and is "naturally" looking as if its straight.

Unfortunately I have the Irish Farmer, ginger pale type skin with pink undertones. Fine frizzy hair!!! My face alone could not make this outfit look sexy. I would need to counter balance my pinky pale skin with some boobs or whatever.

It is not that long since you said Irish men don't like you because you look French.

Again, men are not simple creatures who need to see boobs to think a girl is attractive. The above photo was just an illustration of what a girl could wear. Obviously she is a professional model in a studio, I don't expect all girls to resemble her in that situation. I like girls in sweaters. They look very well, especially body hugging sweaters. A sweater does not equal dowdy, unattractiveness.

magneticimpulse · 25-04-2011 5:28pm

parker kent wrote: »

It is not that long since you said Irish men don't like you because you look French.

Again, men are not simple creatures who need to see boobs to think a girl is attractive. The above photo was just an illustration of what a girl could wear. Obviously she is a professional model in a studio, I don't expect all girls to resemble her in that situation. I like girls in sweaters. They look very well, especially body hugging sweaters.

Exactly, I turned up in the outfit you just posted and the Irish guy said it was not sexy and did not find me attractive and said I was the worse of the worse. My point proven.

That model pulls off the outfit because she has a pretty face to draw your attention to. If you actually look at her body, there is nothing sexy about it what so ever. If you dont happen to be a model like her. I have to admit, it would help to have "2" average looking things to look at...as in your face looks average, but you have a fantastic pair of legs or boobs to counter balance your average looking face.

I mean ive been told I have a fine pair of legs. Why would i want to hide them on a date under a pair of baggy jeans? I wore a nice red dress last week and black blazer to a friends birthday and had to run out of the resturant as all my male friends were hitting on me. They said themselves they never knew i had a pair of great legs. One male friend kept going to stroke my legs and telling me how soft they were. He then insisted all the guys feel how lovely my legs were.

You can sell yourself looks wise, without coming across as having "too" much make up on or showing too much skin. If you show off skin on top, you cover the bottom. If you show skin on the bottom, you cover the top. But for us average looking girls, I think its very difficult to pull off any sweater and baggy jeans and make it look sexy and leave a guy wanting to snog us.

The same can apply to men. Ive seen guys on POF show off their 6 pack and asked why did they feel the need to have such a profile photo? They emailed back to say because they were bald and short, they had to show off their good assets to overcome anything negative about being bald. (this is their opinion, ive nothing against bald short guys)

Sometimes not all of us can get away with plain looking clothes. Sometimes the average person like me, need to showcase our assets and a coffee date where I cant pull out all the bell's and whistles will never work for me. I need a cosmopolitian cocktail date instead

parker kent · 25-04-2011 5:32pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Exactly, I turned up in the outfit you just posted and the Irish guy said it was not sexy and did not find me attractive and said I was the worse of the worse. My point proven.

All that proves is that he is a dick. It doesn't prove anything about the other couple of million Irish men.

Edit: A dick for being rude, not for finding you unattractive which is his prerogative. There is nothing wrong with wearing a sweater.

parker kent · 25-04-2011 5:37pm

Just realising the oddness of writing the sentence "There is nothing wrong with wearing a sweater." :pac:

stupidusername · 25-04-2011 5:56pm

No idea wtf is going on here. Dont see anything wrong with coffee dates though never been on one.met one guy off POF and while he was an utter twat he wasn't just after sex. Also i definitely dont take the same amount of time to get ready for work as going out.i dont wear makeup except for when going out.

Oh and 100 emails a day??! Pffft sorry but,hardly...

magneticimpulse · 25-04-2011 5:58pm

^ Yeah thats what im getting at. I dont wear make up to work/college/shops/dateless days.

But I wear make up for dates/going out/when i have a bf

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