Online Dating

duke916

would it really bother you that much if someone did see your profile up there?

Personally I couldnt care. We don't live in the dark ages of taboo and oppression anymore. Someone see's your profile, so what? Whats the worse they can say or do??
Sure my mother only told me last week she joined a dating site. She's 54. I just smiled, told her she was a bit of a dark horse and well done for getting out there. Both admitted to being on pof and just had a giggle about it. Simple as that. She's been on three dates in the last two weeks and loving it.

Misticles

duke916 wrote: »

would it really bother you that much if someone did see your profile up there?

Personally I couldnt care. We don't live in the dark ages of taboo and oppression anymore. Someone see's your profile, so what? Whats the worse they can say or do??
Sure my mother only told me last week she joined a dating site. She's 54. I just smiled, told her she was a bit of a dark horse and well done for getting out there. Both admitted to being on pof and just had a giggle about it. Simple as that. She's been on three dates in the last two weeks and loving it.

I couldnt give a rats ass who sees me, as chaterpillar said whoever sees you is cleary on there too. For other people they may have issues.

stargazer 68

Well had 3 new conversations yesterday as in with new people
One guy asked me out for tomorrow night which I can't do so we are going to go out next week. Seems nice - had a bit of banter yesterday so see if it materialises into an actual date. :P

timmy880

Sounds good Dovies! Good luck. Just going back to the whole "I might be seen" arguement. We go on these things to be seen anyway dont we? Isnt that the whole point? If it really is such a big issue then why bother signing up in the first place?? Just my opinion anyway

parker kent

Dovies wrote: »

I have lots of pics up but thanks anyway!

Ha reading the thread fail on my part :P

eilo1

well I got a little flustered on the phone to a guy last night and have agreed to a date, only problem is its the same day I have agreed to another date .
They are obviously at different times so making both wont be a problem and they are both first dates (and my only dates so far). Still feel a bit weird doing that though .

That_Guy

eilo1 wrote: »

well I got a little flustered on the phone to a guy last night and have agreed to a date, only problem is its the same day I have agreed to another date .
They are obviously at different times so making both wont be a problem and they are both first dates (and my only dates so far). Still feel a bit weird doing that though .

Go the same restaurant, book tables on opposite sides of the restaurant, alternate between dates on a regular basis.

Simples...

Though they might think you have a severe bladder problem if you keep "going to the bathroom"

stargazer 68

eilo1 wrote: »

They are obviously at different times so making both wont be a problem and they are both first dates (and my only dates so far). Still feel a bit weird doing that though .

Whats the time difference? Have never done it myself but I know others who have

eilo1

Dovies wrote: »

eilo1 wrote: »

They are obviously at different times so making both wont be a problem and they are both first dates (and my only dates so far). Still feel a bit weird doing that though .

Whats the time difference? Have never done it myself but I know others who have

One is an afternoon coffee date and the other is an evening date. However the evening date is about 45 mins drive so i will have to keep the first date pretty quick!

uglyjohn

Dovies wrote: »

Well using that logic I must be butt ugly!! :eek:

Sorry Dovies! didnt mean it that way...its just the stories i've heard from girls on this site. if they turn their pic on public they get bombarded with penis pics.

Panthro

I got a "wink" last night...a wink...not even a "hows things horse", no..just a wink..
Pfft, ya can shove yer wink!..
Oh hold on now, shes some sort of belly dancer..I might have to reply..!:o

zuroph

impromptu date last night, and another tonight,

Misticles

zuroph wrote: »

impromptu date last night, and another tonight,

Same person?

timmy880

Panthro wrote: »

I got a "wink" last night...a wink...not even a "hows things horse", no..just a wink..
Pfft, ya can shove yer wink!..
Oh hold on now, shes some sort of belly dancer..I might have to reply..!:o

The winking thing is slightly weird. What does it mean. Hi Im too lazy or too uninterested to send you a message but here's a wink instead. Also what do you do? Wink back? Double wink back?? Send a message???

Panthro

timmy880 wrote: »

The winking thing is slightly weird. What does it mean. Hi Im too lazy or too uninterested to send you a message but here's a wink instead. Also what do you do? Wink back? Double wink back?? Send a message???

I'm not sure to be honest, either way if I receive that kind of stuff or one line messages, I generally don't take the time to reply. The way I see it, if I'm interested in someone, I'll read their profile, pick out a few things about it I can talk about, and send a half decent attempt at a message, usually a few paragraphs, and I tend to add a bit of speeel in there too for good measure!:o:pac:

seenitall

Regular lurker here.

uglyjohn wrote: »

Interesting...I tend to go for the ones with no pictures first when I’m looking for girls to message. The logic being any pretty girl with a pic up will be bombarded with messages and less likely to respond. I do message ones with visible pics sometimes but I get a much higher reply rate from girls with hidden pictures.

I think that's sound logic, john, not surprised it works for you. I'm one of these women who don't have a pic up; I'm kind of "quality over quantity" mentality, and it comes from being a long-standing internet dating veteran. In the first years I had pics up, but not any more, as I have decided to put more of an emphasis on my Real Life socialising as opposed to Internet socialising (and also, yes, for privacy).

I'm someone who has really seen the worst side to the Internet dating, due to my appalling choices and staggering naivety; so that's why I have been reluctant to contribute to this thread much - who needs a downer about Online Dating when they are trying to do some (Online Dating, I mean)?

(I'd also like to echo PK, in that IMO OKCupid is deffo the best site I've been on, it just suits my aforementioned mentality, and the layout is nice and neat IMO. The POF layout gives me a headache, it's all so jumbled, I don't know...)

Anyway... as I was saying, I took a small step back from the Internet Dating a year or two ago, and then it became a bigger step, and that's going grand. I'm still doing it but it has become just a very secondary (tertiary) social outlet and I find the whole thing much more enjoyable that way. I'm still meeting some strange/shifty/clingy people from it and no mistake, but the fact is not getting me down any more because I'm happier in my own skin these days than I used to be and am consequently dealing with my long-standing singledom way better than ever before.

My advice on OD to anyone would be to make it a sporadic thing, as opposed to a systematic one. That way it feels more organic (if that is in any way possible), rather than 2 people exchanging niceties online, meeting up and discovering there is zero chemistry IRL, then rinse and repeat. Yes, it is just mildly disappointing, but go through it enough times and it can get positively depressing; so better just take it all with a pinch of salt, and also don't expect pics to be accurate in any way. Out of all my many dates throughout the years, only 2 (two!) guys actually looked like their pics or better than in the pics. All the others looked either a bit or substantially worse than their pics, which is, of course, to be expected, and another reason why I have stopped putting much stock in the pics.

I have just recently taken up my third "real life" social activity and have met some really lovely, gorgeous men in this way. (I have to add here, that having high standards isn't very conducive to Internet Dating, in my experience. Take from that what you will.) I don't wish to discourage anyone, but even with all the chat and the pics exchanging and texting etc, I now find the whole OD process really artificial, which is I think part of the reason I made some very, very bad judgment calls in the past. So just stay safe, I guess. In every sense.

18AD

^ That's encouraging. :pac:

I am back in this game. Me v.2.0.

Prepared for disappointment. :cool:

stupidusername

18AD wrote: »

^ That's encouraging. :pac:

I am back in this game. Me v.2.0.

Prepared for disappointment. :cool:

how did you do with it before?

18AD

stupidusername wrote: »

how did you do with it before?

A grand total of terrible.

stupidusername

18AD wrote: »

A grand total of terrible.

did you contact anybody? did anyone contact you? any dates?

18AD

stupidusername wrote: »

did you contact anybody? did anyone contact you? any dates?

Yes. No. No.

stupidusername

18AD wrote: »

Yes. No. No.

awh that is ****.

18AD

stupidusername wrote: »

awh that is ****.

Not to worry. This time I have the upper hand. :pac:

stupidusername

18AD wrote: »

Not to worry. This time I have the upper hand. :pac:

i know what that is, but how would that help...?

18AD

Because I subliminally control everything?

Or because my inept conversational skills will rouse the curiosity of even the most apathetic user. :P

stupidusername

ah

why are you going back to it now then?

18AD

Caaaause.

It's time to challenge myself in an, up to now, rather neglected area of my life. Time to branch out. Plus, the wimmin in my social circles are either someone elses cup of tea or taken.

stupidusername

so what are you going to do different this time round?

18AD

You know, I don't remember what I did last time. Maybe I did the stonecutter routine last time :rolleyes:

But this time I'm going to take the extremely risky route of striking up a normal conversation with someone who seems nice/interesting and see how it goes.

stupidusername

don't mind that, that's just me being stupid.

well i hope you have more success this time round.