Online Dating

Otis Driftwood

Ive only ever used POF.Signed up for one other which I cant remember,possibly connecting singles but I found it rubbish so deleted my profile after a week or so.

Meh,I always found it easier to do a general search,read the profiles and take it from there.Very rarely would I get automated matches that I was even remotely interested in (from an hobbies/personality perspective).

parker kent

The_Morrigan wrote: »

so is this!
Considering it matches you to similar users its a bit counter productive, cos they ain't similar to anyone in reality.

I wonder does he ever get anywhere with that approach? Seems a lot of work before his "big reveal". Doubt there'll be too many who will be bowled over with the invite for some "fun".

Anyway I just read this line 2 seconds ago, seemed mildly apt for this thread (swap man for woman and it makes as much sense)...No man is worth your tears, and when you find the man who is, he'll never make you cry.

The_Morrigan

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Ive only ever used POF.Signed up for one other which I cant remember,possibly connecting singles but I found it rubbish so deleted my profile after a week or so.

Meh,I always found it easier to do a general search,read the profiles and take it from there.Very rarely would I get automated matches that I was even remotely interested in (from an hobbies/personality perspective).

hhhmmm

well I would do a search too, but then it's still showing up dudes that have picked "dating" when they don't actually want that.

Meh it's just frustrating to me cos I'm quite open and blunt with everyone, so the concept is somewhat counterproductive in my head. It's just a case of "does not compute"
:pac:

Otis Driftwood

Of course you are going to get chancers Morri but unfortunatly with online dating it is a numbers game and the blokes just looking for sex are operating off the same logic.

Sucks but thats the way it is!

The_Morrigan

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Of course you are going to get chancers Morri but unfortunatly with online dating it is a numbers game and the blokes just looking for sex are operating off the same logic.

Sucks but thats the way it is!

Time to write a strongly worded email...


grumble grumble grumble

Otis Driftwood

Ha ha ha,I wouldnt be even bothered getting wound up over it.Just persevere and see what happens!

The_Morrigan

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Ha ha ha,I wouldnt be even bothered getting wound up over it.Just persevere and see what happens!

:rolleyes: tune up the ole sarcasm detector there Otis

I'll just grumble at you then :P

parker kent

I'd think of the guys looking for sex as just one of many annoyances on dating sites. You have to sort the wheat from the chaff (or chav if it is POF :pac:).

Oddly, even I have had a male email me looking for fun. Guess I'll put him as plan B

The_Morrigan

parker kent wrote: »

I'd think of the guys looking for sex as just one of many annoyances on dating sites. You have to sort the wheat from the chaff (or chav if it is POF :pac:).

Oddly, even I have had a male email me looking for fun. Guess I'll put him as plan B

OMG I'm always getting wimmin sending me IM's and emails...it's intriguing to say the least

Otis Driftwood

The_Morrigan wrote: »

:rolleyes: tune up the ole sarcasm detector there Otis

I'll just grumble at you then :P

I know you were being sarcastic,sheesh,gimme some credit will ya!
:P

parker kent wrote: »

I'd think of the guys looking for sex as just one of many annoyances on dating sites. You have to sort the wheat from the chaff (or chav if it is POF :pac:).

Oddly, even I have had a male email me looking for fun. Guess I'll put him as plan B

The love that dare not speak its name eh.

Things are hardly gone that bad PK?
:pac:

parker kent

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

The love that dare not speak its name eh.

Things are hardly gone that bad PK?
:pac:

"I can't quit you" :pac:

It's odd, men seem to love me. Not sure why! I guess I'll say it is Plan Z

donfers

i'm sorry but there's been page after page of convoluted analysis here - what profile works, what is a good way to make initial contact, what age should i go for bla bla bla bla bla

like in real life what it boils down to at the end of the day is looks


unlike real life, people can manipulate how they look in their photo and artificially raise their level of attractiveness depending on what angle they are photographed at or what the photo focuses on or more importantly doesn't focus on (yes in real life, women particularly can artificially raise their level of attractiveness to a certain extent but using a single photograph when you are captured frozen in a moment in time from a specific angle certainly allows more scope for false impression or even deception)

also unlike real life, no matter how detailed your profile is, charisma and confidence cannot be measured or judged on a dating site and they are fundamental, second only to looks in terms of importance


so of the two key selection criteria for approving of a potential partner, one (looks) can be manipulated and the other (charisma/confidence) cannot be quantified

thus I personally would suggest that a lot of the analyses and second-guessing here are futile because ultimately you learn very little until you meet up with person......so i would recommend more meeting of the people and less procrastination and neuroses about mails received, profile descriptions and initiating contact

simply if you are physically attracted to the person based on their photo (which as I said can be misleading) then request to meet up with them and THEN YOU CAN TRULY DISCOVER if the person is for you, if the physical attraction remains and if there is the other stuff like chemistry,charisma, confidence, intelligence, sense of humour etc etc., but from reading many of the posts on here it seems some people want to be assured of the whole dream man or dream girl package (or near enough to it) BEFORE MEETING which is, in my view as unattainable a goal as it is nonsensical

Galvasean

Alrighty, so still no sign of that girl I was supposed to be meeting this week. So yeah, dunno what her story is. I'll wait a few more days and see if she remembers that I exist. if not I'll throw her in into the 'time wasters' pile.
So I've stepped things up a bit with dino-lady. She's doing some exams at the moment so we're gonn meet up in a week or so when she's done (assuming she doesn't have one of those change of hearts that is naeusiatingly common on such websites).

inexperienced

donfers wrote: »

simply if you are physically attracted to the person based on their photo (which as I said can be misleading) then request to meet up with them and THEN YOU CAN TRULY DISCOVER if the person is for you, if the physical attraction remains and if there is the other stuff like chemistry,charisma, confidence, intelligence, sense of humour etc etc., but from reading many of the posts on here it seems some people want to be assured of the whole dream man or dream girl package (or near enough to it) BEFORE MEETING which is, in my view as unattainable a goal as it is nonsensical

I agree to meet up soon instead of swaping emails for ages. but not too soon that you might get yourself into a very boring / dangerious date. make sure at least you have something to talk for at least one hour between you twos.

But I think, it's also no harm to go on dates with people that just 'so-so' for you from their photos.

Because as you said, photos are just a capture of a moment, an angle.

so, if the appearance from the photos are not too bad and that you feel comfortable with, i say, no harm to go on a date.

it may turn out to be a surprise. my experience.

donfers

inexperienced wrote: »

I agree to meet up soon instead of swaping emails for ages. but not too soon that you might get yourself into a very boring / dangerious date. make sure at least you have something to talk for at least one hour between you twos.

But I think, it's also no harm to go on dates with people that just 'so-so' for you from their photos.

Because as you said, photos are just a capture of a moment, an angle.

so, if the appearance from the photos are not too bad and that you feel comfortable with, i say, no harm to go on a date.

it may turn out to be a surprise. my experience.

i agree with you, if anything i'd be more suspicious of the overly glamourous professional looking type pics (although i'd still give them a chance )


i'm just going to invent a statistic with absolutely no evidence but i'd say 97% of the info about if you like the person will come when you actually meet them so i wouldn't be too fussy about the 3% knowledge I gain about them on the site although at the same time i am not suggesting people go on dates with people they are not attracted to

as a rule one could say, if you are so-so then go


it's the same with normal everyday life, if you are not sure about whether you should go to a sports event, a music event, a date, a dinner, a party...if you are a bit lazy and unsure, if you're not sure who is going to be there etc etc, THEN PLEASE ALWAYS GO, if you'll allow me to igrasp another stat from thin air, I'd say 93% of the time i've gone to things when i was unsure/looking for excuses not to go i had a great time and at the end of the night i'd say to myself "I can't believe I almost talked myself out of that", and even the few bad experiences were good in reality as they were funny or awkward or just plain screwed up and taught me a lot about myself

one life, live it

inexperienced

donfers wrote: »

i agree with you, if anything i'd be more suspicious of the overly glamourous professional looking type pics (although i'd still give them a chance )

hahha, yes, give them a chance.

btw, i think it's better to put some casual photos instead of some 'doll-up' photos on profiles, strategy wise speaking.

and dont swap too many photos before meetup. anyway, meet sooner to see the real person is better. there are always something a photo can't capture.

krudler

I jumped in here, read the last 6 or so pages, now the world of online dating terrifies me.

The_Morrigan

krudler wrote: »

I jumped in here, read the last 6 or so pages, now the world of online dating terrifies me.

Why?

Dravokivich

The_Morrigan wrote: »

Why?

THere's been quite the er... heated debate in the last few pages ;P

The_Morrigan

Dravokivich wrote: »

THere's been quite the er... heated debate in the last few pages ;P

It's a minority opinion, wouldn't worry about it!

Galvasean

The_Morrigan wrote: »

Why?

Because if Galvasean is having trouble getting dates what hope is there for mortal men?

The_Morrigan

Galvasean wrote: »

Because if Galvasean is having trouble getting dates what hope is there for mortal men?

damn and you don't show up in my matches either..wtf is up with that??

BTW I has a date set for the Sunday after my exams finish :cool:

Galvasean

Sweet. Its not that sex dude is it? because if it is im removing my thanks from your previous post

the_syco

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Meh,I always found it easier to do a general search,read the profiles and take it from there.Very rarely would I get automated matches that I was even remotely interested in (from an hobbies/personality perspective).

Agreed. Even the searches tend to be rather vague.

The_Morrigan

Galvasean wrote: »

Sweet. Its not that sex dude is it? because if it is im removing my thanks from your previous post

ah nope - he's on the bold boy list.
Another guy I've been chatting to for a while, we had organised to meet for coffee one day before I had to head to lectures, but I got delayed at work and had to go straight to college, then he was busy with work/went on holidays and now I'm busy with exams.

Galvasean

I feel bad emailing this girl today since she has an exam tomorrow... takes two to tango though right?
But she sent me this

*swoons*

The_Morrigan

Galvasean wrote: »

I feel bad emailing this girl today since she has an exam tomorrow... takes two to tango though right?
But she sent me this

*swoons*

Ah exams can do strange things to women, sure I stayed up till about 2am the other night chatting to a boardsie instead of going to sleep or using my "wide awake" time to cram some more.
Maybe just send her a good luck with the exam tomorrow, hope we'll get to catch up soon type email.

Galvasean

Tried that. she keeps coming back :P

The_Morrigan

Galvasean wrote: »

Tried that. she keeps coming back :P

Don't distract her you bad man - she is prolly cramming.


*note to self get off the t'internet and do some study!!

Galvasean

The_Morrigan wrote: »

Don't distract her you bad man - she is prolly cramming.

Oh and this reminded me of this thread: