Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Online Dating

Options
1…3637394142…330

Comments

  • Options
    #1142
    sara_q
    Closed Accounts Posts: 40 ✭sara_q


    Good for you tremelo... Keep it up. :)


  • Options
    #1143
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Tremelo wrote: »
    Date #2 with my girl this evening went very very well :)

    Thats great. Now if only I could get one guy interested


  • Options
    #1144
    swapple
    Registered Users Posts: 741 ✭✭✭swapple


    stupidusername wrote: »
    Thats great. Now if only I could get one guy interested

    Tell me about it! None of the guys I message get back to me (not that I message a huge amount :o). But its OKC and at the bottom they have what they're looking for marked 'new friends' (plus whatever else), I mean what's the point in that? :(
    It wouldn't really bother me if they didn't want a date but could they at least be nice about it?


  • Options
    #1145
    The_Morrigan
    Registered Users Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    swapple wrote: »
    Tell me about it! None of the guys I message get back to me (not that I message a huge amount :o). But its OKC and at the bottom they have what they're looking for marked 'new friends' (plus whatever else), I mean what's the point in that? :(
    It wouldn't really bother me if they didn't want a date but could they at least be nice about it?

    Going by some of the responses here, there seems to be a very mixed view on whether or not people send an answer to a person they are not actually interested in.
    Personally I find it rude to ignore a personalised email from another user


  • Options
    #1146
    Amtmann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,093 ✭✭✭Amtmann


    stupidusername wrote: »
    Now if only I could get one guy interested

    Y'know, I've come to the realisation that the Drake Equation can be applied to Internet Dating (and to dating in general).

    There are so many possibilities, near misses, failures and disappointments, but ultimately the numbers are stacked in your favour. Patience. I've only recently started looking again because I had no interest in seeing anyone seriously for the past 12 months. I've managed to climb out of it now I think.

    This particular girl is lovely, but I had several slight disappointments along the way before I met her, and heck, even with her it's far too early to tell how things'll pan out. But we seem to be on the very same page, we're a similar age and in similar circumstances.

    Perhaps that's the trick with ID: you have to be terribly selective, but ultimately it's possible to be because the numbers are stacked in your favour. Then it's a case of exchange a few messages, arrange a date, and see how it goes.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #1147
    Kevin Duffy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,439 ✭✭✭Kevin Duffy


    swapple wrote: »
    Tell me about it! None of the guys I message get back to me (not that I message a huge amount :o). But its OKC and at the bottom they have what they're looking for marked 'new friends' (plus whatever else), I mean what's the point in that? :(
    It wouldn't really bother me if they didn't want a date but could they at least be nice about it?

    Be a bit much to expect you to go back through 1100+ posts, but the response v no response has been extensively debated earlier in the thread. People had their individual views of course, but it seemed that women in particular got too many messages to respond to all of them and there were other arguments, by all genders, for not responding.
    Lack of response may be a bit frustrating for some, but the whole thing is such a lottery that not taking it personally was probably the most important element of that debate.


  • Options
    #1148
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    I wasn't even talking about online.hardly relevant in this thread though


  • Options
    #1149
    swapple
    Registered Users Posts: 741 ✭✭✭swapple


    Kevin Duffy wrote: »
    Be a bit much to expect you to go back through 1100+ posts, but the response v no response has been extensively debated earlier in the thread. People had their individual views of course, but it seemed that women in particular got too many messages to respond to all of them and there were other arguments, by all genders, for not responding.
    Lack of response may be a bit frustrating for some, but the whole thing is such a lottery that not taking it personally was probably the most important element of that debate.

    Sorry, I didn't even think to go back through the thread, I guess I was kinda venting :o


  • Options
    #1150
    Kevin Duffy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,439 ✭✭✭Kevin Duffy


    swapple wrote: »
    Sorry, I didn't even think to go back through the thread,

    Jaysis, no, I really do mean it would be a bit much to expect that!

    Badly phrased on my part, I really meant "This thread is huge and cumbersome. Here, let me help" :)


  • Options
    #1151
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Tremelo wrote: »
    Y'know, I've come to the realisation that the Drake Equation can be applied to Internet Dating (and to dating in general).

    The Big Bang Theory did ;P


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #1152
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    So i was cruising (that sounds so wrong) OKcupid and is it just me or is there a seemingly disproportionate amount of bisexual women on the site?


  • Options
    #1153
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Tremelo wrote: »
    Date #2 with my girl this evening went very very well :)

    Tell us more so that we may bask in your reflective glory! :cool:


  • Options
    #1154
    ToniTuddle
    Registered Users Posts: 8,964 ✭✭✭ToniTuddle


    Galvasean wrote: »
    So i was cruising (that sounds so wrong) OKcupid and is it just me or is there a seemingly disproportionate amount of bisexual women on the site?

    Maybe some of them have found by saying they are bisexual it gets them more attention from the lads?:confused:


  • Options
    #1155
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    ToniTuddle wrote: »
    Many some of them have found by saying they are bisexual it gets them more attention from the lads?:confused:

    I suppose a lad sees the word 'bi' and thinks "threesome!". And we act surprised when people are just looking for sex...


  • Options
    #1156
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    I think some girls may also always have had a suspicion they like girls and online dating is a way to test to waters.


  • Options
    #1157
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Galvasean wrote: »
    So i was cruising (that sounds so wrong) OKcupid and is it just me or is there a seemingly disproportionate amount of bisexual women on the site?

    There is?? I'm on OkC and I find it useless for finding girls :( (I'm bisexual female but I'm not just 'testing the waters' :P )

    Impossible to find any girls online for dating :( They all just want sex or threesomes with their boyfriends


  • Options
    #1158
    Villette
    Closed Accounts Posts: 87 ✭✭Villette


    Sorry for hijacking the male thread instead of posting in the women's forum but would like a male perspective.
    I was reading some of the comments on whether or not you should respond to messages if you're not interested - I personally think it's basic manners but I accept why some people don't.
    However, at what point do you think a thanks but no thanks/goodbye type message - I'm just talking about a text here, not a break-up conversation - becomes necessary? Before you get to relationship stage I mean, so how many dates, weeks,etc In other words what level of previous interaction is required before you think letting someone know is required over just not bothering to get in contact again?
    I seem to have no idea about dating etiquette, online or otherwise, but then I think I'm too polite in general!


  • Options
    #1159
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Villette wrote: »
    Sorry for hijacking the male thread instead of posting in the women's forum but would like a male perspective.

    No need to apologize. Female perspectives are welcome 'round these parts.
    Villette wrote: »
    However, at what point do you think a thanks but no thanks/goodbye type message - I'm just talking about a text here, not a break-up conversation - becomes necessary? Before you get to relationship stage I mean, so how many dates, weeks,etc In other words what level of previous interaction is required before you think letting someone know is required over just not bothering to get in contact again?

    Personally I think if you've both gone through the trouble to meet up IRL a simple 'thanks but no thanks' message should be given. It strikes me as being extremely rude to just blank someone after even one short date.
    Bear in mind I think it's perfectly acceptable / reasonable to ignore mails from those you don't find desirable, particularly if you get a lot of mail, but when you've actually met up IRL I think it's common courtesy to let them know where they stand afterward.


  • Options
    #1160
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    According to one girl I was talking to who wanted to try stuff out with girls she was getting too much attention putting herself down as bi.


  • Options
    #1161
    Panthro
    Registered Users Posts: 14,805 ✭✭✭✭Panthro


    Question gents, I have received one or two messages from the wimminz, but they neither have a pic up or their details filled out. The messages are usually pretty short, (1-2 sentences tops) usually saying something in relation to my profile.
    I don't bother replying as I don't see the point, no info about them leaves me pretty much nothing to work with as it were. Question is-am I being a rude aul sod or how do ye usually deal with these situations generally?


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #1162
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Not at all.Ive ignored messages like that or profiles that there has been no effort made in.

    People use dating sites to try and get a match with someone physically and personality wise.

    WTF is the point if you dont bother your hole putting any information up.


  • Options
    #1163
    Panthro
    Registered Users Posts: 14,805 ✭✭✭✭Panthro


    my thoughts exactly, I feel if I've put the effort in, then I'd be happier to get chatting to someone who has done likewise.
    In saying that....what if shes hawwwwwt..!


  • Options
    #1164
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    There in lies the quandry!

    Ive never had to make that decision but my thoughts would be if someone thats very attractive puts up pics but makes no effort then they are obviously hoping their looks will carry them through it and are prolly a little self absorbed.


  • Options
    #1165
    Villette
    Closed Accounts Posts: 87 ✭✭Villette


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Personally I think if you've both gone through the trouble to meet up IRL a simple 'thanks but no thanks' message should be given. It strikes me as being extremely rude to just blank someone after even one short date.
    Bear in mind I think it's perfectly acceptable / reasonable to ignore mails from those you don't find desirable, particularly if you get a lot of mail, but when you've actually met up IRL I think it's common courtesy to let them know where they stand afterward.

    Well if only all men thought the same....well I say men but women are just as bad. I'm just going to think that if someone doesn't feel the need to be honest after weeks of dating then it's insecurity and immaturity on their part.


  • Options
    #1166
    Denisejcc
    Registered Users Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭Denisejcc


    Im a female and Im on 2 dating sites, one paid and one free. Paid site is rubbish, free one much better. But having said that,I havent been on any dates. Have had tons of emails and several email conversations with the guys I liked. My question is why do guys just keep emailing and texting but never suggest meeting up, these guys mailed me first so must have been slightly interested so why havent they suggested meeting up for a coffee or something? Before you say it I know I could ask too but sometimes a lady just needs to be asked! :D;)


  • Options
    #1167
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    Sometimes it is tricky to know when to ask the girl out. I've made the mistake of asking too early and asking too late, so that could be a reason why guys aren't asking you out.

    Could you subtly move them in that direction?


  • Options
    #1168
    Panthro
    Registered Users Posts: 14,805 ✭✭✭✭Panthro


    Or if she doesn't put up a photo maybe its because she is of a limited attractiveness..*cough*puck ugly*cough*
    (better be careful here!)
    Its a pity that some people who go to the trouble of signing up don't put in the effort and put up a few pics and a wee bit of information about themselves. They may well be there for "the gawk" and see if anyone they know is on it first, and thats fine, but I think if you are going to message someone, have a little bit of information up. That question mark icon in the profile pic isn't very sexy or informative in all honesty!


  • Options
    #1169
    The_Morrigan
    Registered Users Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    papagormo wrote: »
    Or if she doesn't put up a photo maybe its because she is of a limited attractiveness..*cough*puck ugly*cough*
    (better be careful here!)
    Its a pity that some people who go to the trouble of signing up don't put in the effort and put up a few pics and a wee bit of information about themselves. They may well be there for "the gawk" and see if anyone they know is on it first, and thats fine, but I think if you are going to message someone, have a little bit of information up. That question mark icon in the profile pic isn't very sexy or informative in all honesty!

    Oi!!
    I don't have my pics public on one site...


  • Options
    #1170
    Denisejcc
    Registered Users Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭Denisejcc


    parker kent wrote: »
    Sometimes it is tricky to know when to ask the girl out. I've made the mistake of asking too early and asking too late, so that could be a reason why guys aren't asking you out.

    Could you subtly move them in that direction?


    We have spoken about pubs/being in pubs/what we are up to for the weekend etc just has never actually been mentioned that we would meet up:rolleyes::rolleyes: I didnt join the site to get a pen pal, looks like thats what I've got :rolleyes:


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #1171
    Panthro
    Registered Users Posts: 14,805 ✭✭✭✭Panthro


    The_Morrigan wrote: »
    Oi!!
    I don't have my pics public on one site...

    I'm merely playing a devil's advocate on the reasoning behind not having a picture up! :D


This discussion has been closed.
Advertisement