Online Dating

Galvasean

Advice needed gentlemen (and ladies of course):
Right so exganged numbers with this girl I'm supposed to be meeting tomorrow. Few back n' forth messages. She asks me what time I'd like to meet up at, so I reply with a suggestion for a time and place. That was about quarter past 5 today and she hasn't responded yet. Curiously, I signed into OKC and it says she visited my page about an hour ago, but didn't leave a message (she's offline now).
I don't want to be a clingy texty psychopath so I'm thinking of sitting tight for now and see what happens. Good idea / bad idea?

Kya1976

luvbulmers01 wrote: »

Before you do decide to give hime the heave ho, would you not just say it to him, that you find him very quiet and ask him is that just the way he is or is he nervous? Becau going by your previous posts you do sem to like him to some degree.

I might do that, might be a bit awkward to bring that up though?

Galvasean wrote: »

Advice needed gentlemen (and ladies of course):
Right so exganged numbers with this girl I'm supposed to be meeting tomorrow. Few back n' forth messages. She asks me what time I'd like to meet up at, so I reply with a suggestion for a time and place. That was about quarter past 5 today and she hasn't responded yet. Curiously, I signed into OKC and it says she visited my page about an hour ago, but didn't leave a message (she's offline now).
I don't want to be a clingy texty psychopath so I'm thinking of sitting tight for now and see what happens. Good idea / bad idea?

That's something that would slightly annoy me. It takes less than a minute to send a text after all.
Maybe leave it until tomorrow and then send her another text.
Good luck:)

Kevin Duffy

Sit tight. Text and maybe you scare her off, don't text and she might not show and then you know what she's like. All to lose by jumping at it, nothing to lose by letting it happen. My money's on the date happening and you needn't have worried. Good luck.

Marty McFly

Kya1976 wrote: »

I might do that, might be a bit awkward to bring that up though?

Yeh it migh be a bit awkward to begin with but at least youd have really given him the chance? and youll also know exactly why hes being a bit quiet? Ive always believed in being quite out straight with people. Yes itll be awkward but at least after youll both know whats been going on could make you see him in a whole new light youll never know unless you bring it up tht alone would wreck my head ha.

stupidusername

How did it end sean? I mean did the time require confirmation from her? I would be inclined to say leave it.would be a bit much to be texting her.she may be busy.she'll get back to you.or well if she's changed her mind for some reason you texting probably wont get you anywhere anyway.

Marty McFly

Galvasean wrote: »

Advice needed gentlemen (and ladies of course):
Right so exganged numbers with this girl I'm supposed to be meeting tomorrow. Few back n' forth messages. She asks me what time I'd like to meet up at, so I reply with a suggestion for a time and place. That was about quarter past 5 today and she hasn't responded yet. Curiously, I signed into OKC and it says she visited my page about an hour ago, but didn't leave a message (she's offline now).
I don't want to be a clingy texty psychopath so I'm thinking of sitting tight for now and see what happens. Good idea / bad idea?

Ah i hate when that happens its the whole not know thing that drives yeh mad,it can be so tempting to send another txt but i wouldnt might look a bit to clingy maybe she was only on okcupid for 1 min and never got the chance to send you a mail. Id wait till tommorrow lunch time and either ring her or text her then.

cantdecide

Galvasean wrote: »

Advice needed gentlemen (and ladies of course):
Right so exganged numbers with this girl I'm supposed to be meeting tomorrow. Few back n' forth messages. She asks me what time I'd like to meet up at, so I reply with a suggestion for a time and place. That was about quarter past 5 today and she hasn't responded yet. Curiously, I signed into OKC and it says she visited my page about an hour ago, but didn't leave a message (she's offline now).
I don't want to be a clingy texty psychopath so I'm thinking of sitting tight for now and see what happens. Good idea / bad idea?

That's a bit of a ****y thing to do to you. Being hyper-cyncial for a moment, maybe she's keeping her 'options open'. You can't sit there stewing, watching the clock count down to zero hour.

What I'd do if I were in your shoes is I'd text her something along the lines 'Not sure if you got that last message but I suggested we could meet at ______ at ___ o'clock. Turns out I couldn't make it at that time after all, just in case you were planning around it. Feel free to suggest an alternative'.

Screaminmidget

Galvasean wrote: »

Advice needed gentlemen (and ladies of course):
Right so exganged numbers with this girl I'm supposed to be meeting tomorrow. Few back n' forth messages. She asks me what time I'd like to meet up at, so I reply with a suggestion for a time and place. That was about quarter past 5 today and she hasn't responded yet. Curiously, I signed into OKC and it says she visited my page about an hour ago, but didn't leave a message (she's offline now).
I don't want to be a clingy texty psychopath so I'm thinking of sitting tight for now and see what happens. Good idea / bad idea?

Are you sure the text delivered??

stupidusername

sweet to see guys worrying about things like this.makes me feel a little less crazy.

Galvasean

stupidusername wrote: »

How did it end sean? I mean did the time require confirmation from her?

Yep. I said "How about X time/place?". Pretty clear cut that I was looking for confirmation.

Screaminmidget wrote: »

Are you sure the text delivered??

Yep. Delivery report and all.

Think I'll sit it out 'til tomorrow. Send another text then to try and get confirmation I suppose.

*sigh* I just know I won't sleep tonight. FFS, I'm actually feeling a bit disgusted with myself for allowing myself to feel so worked up about it.

stupidusername

Are you quite into her? Cant really blame yourself for getting excited about it if you are.

Galvasean

stupidusername wrote: »

Are you quite into her? Cant really blame yourself for getting excited about it if you are.

Well yeah, I would be reasonably excited. We gel a lot when talking online / texting and have both stated that we were looking forward to tomorrow.
But feh, no point in dwelling. hat happens happens right?

On a lighter note, while out n' about today I was in the middle of texting her when I bump into an ex of mine who says, "Hey long time no see. Any news?"
:pac: Bwahahhaahaha!!!!!! :pac:
Had to bite my tongue.

Dravokivich

Galvasean wrote: »

*sigh* I just know I won't sleep tonight. FFS, I'm actually feeling a bit disgusted with myself for allowing myself to feel so worked up about it.

No harm in getting worked up for it man, t'is understandable enough to be excited about meeting up with someone you're interested in.

g'luck to ya!

Villette

cantdecide wrote: »

That's a bit of a ****y thing to do to you. Being hyper-cyncial for a moment, maybe she's keeping her 'options open'. You can't sit there stewing, watching the clock count down to zero hour.

What I'd do if I were in your shoes is I'd text her something along the lines 'Not sure if you got that last message but I suggested we could meet at ______ at ___ o'clock. Turns out I couldn't make it at that time after all, just in case you were planning around it. Feel free to suggest an alternative'.

What you suggest is surely game-playing?? I agree that she might very well be game-playing herself but then again she could have a genuine reason. If everyone just stopped the gameplaying because they're so afraid of being rejected then dating would be easier!

Galvasean

That's it Villette. I can't help but feel that I'm being 'tested' right now :rolleyes:
I don't bother with that kind of stuff.

panda100

Galvasean wrote: »

Advice needed gentlemen (and ladies of course):
Right so exganged numbers with this girl I'm supposed to be meeting tomorrow. Few back n' forth messages. She asks me what time I'd like to meet up at, so I reply with a suggestion for a time and place. That was about quarter past 5 today and she hasn't responded yet. Curiously, I signed into OKC and it says she visited my page about an hour ago, but didn't leave a message (she's offline now).
I don't want to be a clingy texty psychopath so I'm thinking of sitting tight for now and see what happens. Good idea / bad idea?

In her defence, Ok cupid is all over the place with it's timing. It says that you are still online, two hours after your logged out. I wouldn't pay too much heed to her visiting you profile an hour ago. She might genuinely be busy, or have run out of credit!

If you haven't heard from her by 1pm tommorrow, then send her another text. If she doesn't reply to that then come on here and just b*tch about her, and we'll help you feel better

micayla

Galvasean wrote: »

Advice needed gentlemen (and ladies of course):
Right so exganged numbers with this girl I'm supposed to be meeting tomorrow. Few back n' forth messages. She asks me what time I'd like to meet up at, so I reply with a suggestion for a time and place. That was about quarter past 5 today and she hasn't responded yet. Curiously, I signed into OKC and it says she visited my page about an hour ago, but didn't leave a message (she's offline now).
I don't want to be a clingy texty psychopath so I'm thinking of sitting tight for now and see what happens. Good idea / bad idea?

Couldn't you ring her? Not now obviously, but maybe tomorrow? This texting business has always seemed a bit mad to me, I don't mind it for a bit of banter but if you want to contact someone about something important surely a phone call would be better? I've often gotten a text while rushed off my feet in work and not responded, a day or two later I'll get an angry text along the lines of why didn't I respond and I feel like crap, even though the person would know I'd be in work and probably busy and i'm incredibly forgetful, forgot my own age last week:pac:

So anyway, I think a phone call would clear it all up for you:)

cantdecide

Villette wrote: »

What you suggest is surely game-playing?? I agree that she might very well be game-playing herself but then again she could have a genuine reason. If everyone just stopped the gameplaying because they're so afraid of being rejected then dating would be easier!

I didn't intend it to be game playing. Right now, she is in control and GS is on the edge of his seat. At the moment, he doesn't know what her motivation is. It could be benign or malign.

There are few ways of forcing the issue without accusing her of game-playing or else coming across as needy. If it's she is the one who is playing games with GS, it disempowers her. It also gives her an opportunity to suggest an alternative without coming across as needy. It's also an excuse to send a non-needy follow up text, which is ultimately what I'm sure he wants to do.

I think my suggestion just neutralises the situation. It's what I would do. I don't think it's game playing.

Hyperbullet

Could it be something simple like she's out of phone credit or something?

the_syco

Galvasean wrote: »

She asks me what time I'd like to meet up at, so I reply with a suggestion for a time and place. That was about quarter past 5 today and she hasn't responded yet.

Girls asks boy for the place and time.
Boy gives place and time.
Girl double checks boys profile to ensure she knows what he looks like.

Are you expecting the girl to haggle?

Galvasean wrote: »

Yep. I said "How about X time/place?". Pretty clear cut that I was looking for confirmation.

Well, that's the weird thing about that wording. Sometimes I've sent message to mates like this, with an indication that this is the plan, unless they are going to another pub. In saying that, women are wired differently, so gawd knows what's going on in her head.

I'd say just turn up for the date, but also have cinema film times in the back pocket in case she doesn't turn up?

qz

POF has proven to be excellent craic over the last hour:

wats d story d names amy im livin in dublin(cabra west)wit me baby dont really know wat to put ere so im just crapn on so if you like wat you c drop us a line ha and ill get back to u
o yeah al pedos stay away
x x x x x x x

qz

I set up a profile 20 mins ago and have a message already. This online dating thing is the business.

Galvasean

micayla wrote: »

Couldn't you ring her? Not now obviously, but maybe tomorrow?

Nah, she'll be in work 'til 5 so ringing is out the window.

the_syco wrote: »

Girls asks boy for the place and time.
Boy gives place and time.
Girl double checks boys profile to ensure she knows what he looks like.

Are you expecting the girl to haggle?

Generally when I say something along the lines of, "what about this time and place?" I expect a reply though.

stupidusername

The only non game playing way to deal with that is to text saying not sure what happened but wanted to make sure you're still on for tonight,if not will you let me know. Anything else is playing.
Oh and qz she's a keeper.you're lucky she picked you

stargazer 68

Well having read a lot of posts here I took the plunge and joined cupid yesterday. Havent checked it out much but I did a quick search. Unfortunately most of the guys that came up on my search I have seen their profiles on POF! Ah well so much for finding new blood! :cool:

the_syco

Galvasean wrote: »

Generally when I say something along the lines of, "what about this time and place?" I expect a reply though.

Aye. Bare in mind that it's sometimes seen as a rhetorical question, though. Hope she ain't playing stupid mind games. If she is, it's best to find out now, I suppose.

G86

Galvasean wrote: »

Generally when I say something along the lines of, "what about this time and place?" I expect a reply though.

I hate when people 'forget' to reply to texts, it takes like 5 seconds to do, even if you're mad busy. To be honest, if I were you I'd have written her off as a messer by now, but maybe I'm just cynical...:o

Why would you want to meet up with someone who's not bothered about meeting up with you? Save all those pre-date jitters for someone who's worth it

stargazer 68

Galvasean wrote: »

Nah, she'll be in work 'til 5 so ringing is out the window.


Generally when I say something along the lines of, "what about this time and place?" I expect a reply though.

So any word?

Galvasean

Dovies wrote: »

So any word?

Why yes, got a text off her confirming this morning.
Woke me up too. I hate her already

stargazer 68

Galvasean wrote: »

Why yes, got a text off her confirming this morning.
Woke me up too. I hate her already

Lol you want to have your cake and eat it!!
Well good luck and make sure we get a full update after the date although not too much information please!