Online Dating

Maguined

Galvasean wrote: »

My sister joined OKC yesterday. more profile views in one day than I've gotten since joining and more emails than I get in a month.
I'm the pretty one goddammit!

If OKC puts her forward to you as a match it will be a bit freaky! :eek:

stargazer 68

Galvasean wrote: »

If it was on plenty of fish then it wasn't me since I only signed up yesterday and have yet to recieve a mail.
Heck i dont recall being mailed by a girl on any site (as in without me mailing first) in quite a long time.

Only slagging Gal. Had a few people unread/delete me - its disheartening. Well it used to be when I first signed up. Now I dont care - their loss lol :P

stupidusername

Dravokivich wrote: »

How'd we know it's you? Got a secret code in yer profile ;P

of course, the secret boardsie code

Hyperbullet wrote: »

Looks like I'm back to square one. No contact in a while. Ah well.

shizzlesticks

Dovies wrote: »

Only slagging Gal. Had a few people unread/delete me - its disheartening. Well it used to be when I first signed up. Now I dont care - their loss lol :P

how do you know?

Galvasean wrote: »

Heck i dont recall being mailed by a girl on any site (as in without me mailing first) in quite a long time.

All the guys I met while I was on those sites I emailed first. find it odd that you wouldn't get some girls mailing you.

stargazer 68

stupidusername wrote: »

how do you know?

How do I know what? That it's their loss? Cos Im fabilis!

Or that I have messages unread/ deleted? On POF you used to be able to go into your sent items and see what has been read and what hasn't. It showed read/deleted and unread/deleted. They have stopped that now but Im sure there are some.

MudSkipper

Only just starting to use pof again, looks like its slowly turning into a pay site

stupidusername

Dovies wrote: »

How do I know what? That it's their loss? Cos Im fabilis!

Or that I have messages unread/ deleted? On POF you used to be able to go into your sent items and see what has been read and what hasn't. It showed read/deleted and unread/deleted. They have stopped that now but Im sure there are some.

I've no doubt at all about your level of fablisness meant the read mail thing.didn't realise that.seems like its just another way to torture yourself over these things.dont let it get to you

oompaloompa

Latest from Oompa Loompa's world of ID......:D

How can anyone be so ignorant :rolleyes:



From: him

hi 'oompa loompa' (not my real name)

im 'name removed to protect the annoying'

i came across your profile and said id say hi cos you look nice i am from 'location removed so as not to stereotype a whole suburb' i have a very good job thankfully i have not been affected by the recession too much and could still afford to buy a new 'insert flashy car brand here' i earn enough to pay my bills have a nice car and house and go on holidays a few times a year

i joined this website to meet a woman that isnt obsessed with money and belongings there seem to be very few of those type of people around that is why i liked your profile so much you seem normal and just a standard run of the mill common girl

i would love to hear from you and maybe i can take you for dinner sometime my treat of course

'prick'

From: me


Hi 'prick' (not his real name... or is it )

Thanks for your mail.

I have a suggestion, and please don't take this as criticism. Perhaps you attract materialistic ladies because you broadcast your success/lifestyle. Maybe tone down your chat about your car, and tell us ladies what we really want to know....what type of person you are, what you do to have fun etc

Your mail, and profile make it seem like you're cocky rather than confident.

Just a suggestion :-)

I'm live in South Dublin and as my profile says, I joined POF to see what else is out there. I'm not a big drinker, and it would be great to click with someone outside of the drinking culture. Having said that, I'm not shy at all so have no problem holding my own in a group, but it would be nice to meet someone with a personality as wonderful as mine!!

Maybe you'll come back to me and tell me more about you...

'Oompa Loompa'

From Him:


hi again

i think you are very rude and more than a little obnoxious you dont know me so shouldnt be so quick to judge i like expensive things and just cos you are cheap you shouldnt be so bitter towards people who have more money cos they are better than you

go buy your own dinner though you look like you could do with less dinner

hope you find a poor binman to make you happy

From me:

Hi 'prick' (definitely his real name)

I apologise if you felt I was rude. I was just offering a friendly suggestion and still took the time to ask more about you. I didn't mean any offence.

Your response on the other hand, rude just doesn't cut it really. I am a much nicer, confident and genuine person than I think you even have the capacity to become.

Just remember, it's nice to be nice... maybe next time think before you type.

'Oompa Loompa'

Amtmann

Wow. What an epic dick! My eyebrows returned from the back of my head about 30 seconds after he said you were a "standard run of the mill common girl". I'd go so far as to say he was probably a troll. Seriously, there are guys like that out there?

Anyway, nicely handled Oompa Loompa. You stayed calm, came across as classy, and told him what's what.

oompaloompa

Tremelo wrote: »

Wow. What an epic dick! My eyebrows returned from the back of my head about 30 seconds after he said you were a "standard run of the mill common girl". I'd go so far as to say he was probably a troll. Seriously, there are guys like that out there?

Anyway, nicely handled Oompa Loompa. You stayed calm, came across as classy, and told him what's what.

There are so many guys like that in 'real life' too...I once had a guy in a bar in town take out his car keys, dangle them in front of me and say 'i drive a jag' :rolleyes:

Yeah the common bit made me laugh, what a not-so-veiled jibe! Funny thing is, my photo isn't one of me holding a can of dutch gold or such like.... I hear guy don't like photos of drunk girls

Otis Driftwood

Ya know the sad thing is that there are more than a few women out there that would trip over themselves for an obnoxious twat like that.

Well played OL!

MudSkipper

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Ya know the sad thing is that there are more than a few women out there that would trip over themselves for an obnoxious twat like that.

Well played OL!

Not sad at all, they deserve each other then and few bad uns off the market to boot :pac:

the_syco

Tremelo wrote: »

It's a personal thing, but if all her pics were taken in pubs, I'd assume she was a one-trick pony socially and had few other interests/leisure pursuits. Not fair perhaps, but it just goes to show the importance of having a well-balanced profile imo.

Never thought about it from that angle. Must pop up my picture at paintball, and the one of my throwing an IBM server :P

In saying that, most photos of me are taken whilst I'm out pubbing The rest of the time, I'd be on the other side of the camera

Tremelo wrote: »

I go for on ID

BTW, which site is "ID"?

Denisejcc

Tremelo wrote: »

From the point of view of many men, this is a very annoying attitude. I'm not having a go at you (at all!! ); I'm attacking the attitude.

You would think that women who join dating sites are more progressive and open to actively seeking a relationship. Yet many just sign up and wait for the men to come calling. That, presumably, is the same attitude that's failed many of these women in the real-world. You've such a great opportunity to meet loads of nice guys online, yet when you sign up you just do the equivalent of sitting there with your arms folded, waiting for the man to make the move. And often they will make the move; but if they don't, you should. Like Galvasean said, you have NOTHING to lose, and everything to gain. It's win-win. Sure, you'll be rejected a few times (there's not a single man alive who hasn't been rejected at some point), but suck it up. It's not like you actually have to face that person, and besides, eventually, you will meet a nice guy on it. It's a numbers game, and ultimately they're stacked in your favour.

bluewolf wrote: »

Couldn't agree more!

Ps not having a go but girls who 'can't ' ask a guy out drive me up the wall!

Galv, good mail

Galvasean wrote: »

Would have worded it more strongly, but for fear of being reported for abuse / stalking or some such BS. I think people who treat others in such a callous manner deserve to get called out on it. Heck, to be perfectly honest, I think they need to be taken aside and told to kop onto themselves.

Ouch, I appreciate the answers but not everyone is as confident as all you guys seem to be UNFORTUNATELY! Once Im face to face with someone Im fine and can chat away to a stranger, just dont like the initial 'asking out' hence I dont do it :rolleyes:

anyway Im on POF too, say HI :D

Amtmann

the_syco wrote: »

BTW, which site is "ID"?

Sorry, it's not a site at all, it's just my short-hand for Internet Dating

Amtmann

Denisejcc wrote: »

Ouch, I appreciate the answers but not everyone is as confident as all you guys seem to be UNFORTUNATELY! Once Im face to face with someone Im fine and can chat away to a stranger, just dont like the initial 'asking out' hence I dont do it :rolleyes:

anyway Im on POF too, say HI :D

I will admit that I am a confident person. But I wasn't always confident about asking girls out. I've learned to enjoy it, and these days I have absolutely no fear of asking someone out online or offline in certain circumstances. But when I look back at how I was when I was 18-22, I was quite different. The confidence came with time. Still, you have to start somewhere, so I'd say just go for it, put your best foot forward and see what happens. It gets easier after you've done it once, because you get better at it

Denisejcc

Tremelo wrote: »

I will admit that I am a confident person. But I wasn't always confident about asking girls out. I've learned to enjoy it, and these days I have absolutely no fear of asking someone out online or offline in certain circumstances. But when I look back at how I was when I was 18-22, I was quite different. The confidence came with time. Still, you have to start somewhere, so I'd say just go for it, put your best foot forward and see what happens. It gets easier after you've done it once, because you get better at it

Just checked POF Inbox..not one new mail OUCH :mad:
Maybe I should just delete profile and forget about it , Ive only ever had one date through internet dating (not POF) and it was awful, talk about lying on your profile:rolleyes:

By the way Im in my 30's so I should be over this kind of teenage angst

Amtmann

Denisejcc wrote: »

Just checked POF Inbox..not one new mail OUCH :mad:
Maybe I should just delete profile and forget about it , Ive only ever had one date through internet dating (not POF) and it was awful, talk about lying on your profile:rolleyes:

By the way Im in my 30's so I should be over this kind of teenage angst

I wouldn't delete it if I were you. I've been on some terrible dates too - but also some great ones. I've met one former gf online, and things are going well for me now with another girl. I really think it's 60% luck, 40% technique. You can send me a PM with a link to your profile if you want one guy's opinion btw.

Also, whenever you want to encourage a few messages your way, look at about 50 other profiles really quickly. This way, those 50 people will see that you've checked them out, and statistically, it's likely that at least a few will throw caution to the wind and send you a message. Seems to be a trick that nearly always works

The Gnome

Been on OKC and POF for a while now and had a few dates from both. I find OKC better for actually matching me with people I like. I was out on a date last night with a girl I'd been chatting to on POF last night and it was horrific, totally different person to who she put herself across as online (personality wise) needless to say I ended the whole affair quickly but couldn't help be disappointed.

What's the opinion on how to handle someone that misrepresents themselves online when you actually meet them?

Lenmeister

Dovies wrote: »

AFF?? Sorry Op you get what you pay for on that site!

Well update - guy I asked out said yes, he would love to meet up! Oooohhhh :P

Well it seems like I'm getting nowhere lol, happy to hear you found someone though ^^

Lenmeister

The Gnome wrote: »

Been on OKC and POF for a while now and had a few dates from both. I find OKC better for actually matching me with people I like. I was out on a date last night with a girl I'd been chatting to on POF last night and it was horrific, totally different person to who she put herself across as online (personality wise) needless to say I ended the whole affair quickly but couldn't help be disappointed.

What's the opinion on how to handle someone that misrepresents themselves online when you actually meet them?

Hmm I'd say just go with it and make the best of a bad situation, if she still seems too much then end it quick.

Amtmann

The Gnome wrote: »

What's the opinion on how to handle someone that misrepresents themselves online when you actually meet them?

You'd have to play it by ear I'd say. I met someone off it who was really obese once. She'd told me she wasn't "slim", but I still didn't exactly expect her to be 20 stone. I stayed out of politeness for about an hour, but I think it was written all over my face that I was disappointed.

In fairness, I should have been more forthright at an earlier stage. I was recently chatting to someone on OKcupid and we really seemed to be hitting it off. Eventually she asked me what kind of girl I like. I went through my usual checklist, with the added criteria that she be in good shape. I am, and I'm interested in fitness and nutrition, so it's important to me. Well, that sort of ended things with her, albeit cordially. She said she wasn't in good shape (to put it mildly). You can look on it as shallow, or you can look on it as being honest, but regardless, we both saved each other some time by being straight with one another in the end I think.

stupidusername

Tremelo wrote: »

You'd have to play it by ear I'd say. I met someone off it who was really obese once. She'd told me she wasn't "slim", but I still didn't exactly expect her to be 20 stone. I stayed out of politeness for about an hour, but I think it was written all over my face that I was disappointed.

In fairness, I should have been more forthright at an earlier stage. I was recently chatting to someone on OKcupid and we really seemed to be hitting it off. Eventually she asked me what kind of girl I like. I went through my usual checklist, with the added criteria that she be in good shape. I am, and I'm interested in fitness and nutrition, so it's important to me. Well, that sort of ended things with her, albeit cordially. She said she wasn't in good shape (to put it mildly). You can look on it as shallow, or you can look on it as being honest, but regardless, we both saved each other some time by being straight with one another in the end I think.

you're right to be upfront. it may seem cynical or whatever but at the end of the day you're talking people's time.

It's weird not having my profile up anymore, not getting mails etc. feel like i'm missing something! but I know i'm not.

hollypink

Tremelo wrote: »

You'd have to play it by ear I'd say. I met someone off it who was really obese once. She'd told me she wasn't "slim", but I still didn't exactly expect her to be 20 stone. I stayed out of politeness for about an hour, but I think it was written all over my face that I was disappointed.

In fairness, I should have been more forthright at an earlier stage. I was recently chatting to someone on OKcupid and we really seemed to be hitting it off. Eventually she asked me what kind of girl I like. I went through my usual checklist, with the added criteria that she be in good shape. I am, and I'm interested in fitness and nutrition, so it's important to me. Well, that sort of ended things with her, albeit cordially. She said she wasn't in good shape (to put it mildly). You can look on it as shallow, or you can look on it as being honest, but regardless, we both saved each other some time by being straight with one another in the end I think.

I don't think it's shallow at all, that's just the way attraction works. Out of curiosity, did the girl who was overweight not have any photos up or were they just of her face?

TaraFoxglove

Tremelo wrote: »

In fairness, I should have been more forthright at an earlier stage. I was recently chatting to someone on OKcupid and we really seemed to be hitting it off. Eventually she asked me what kind of girl I like. I went through my usual checklist, with the added criteria that she be in good shape. I am, and I'm interested in fitness and nutrition, so it's important to me. Well, that sort of ended things with her, albeit cordially. She said she wasn't in good shape (to put it mildly). You can look on it as shallow, or you can look on it as being honest, but regardless, we both saved each other some time by being straight with one another in the end I think.

How in shape is "in shape" though? People might have different definitions. A skinny fat girl who eats crap but is still slim (but soft) might think herself in shape. :pac:

hollypink wrote: »

I don't think it's shallow at all, that's just the way attraction works. Out of curiosity, did the girl who was overweight not have any photos up or were they just of her face?

Yeah, faces can be deceptive, can't they?

Amtmann

hollypink wrote: »

I don't think it's shallow at all, that's just the way attraction works. Out of curiosity, did the girl who was overweight not have any photos up or were they just of her face?

They were all of her (pretty) face, and I think they were old photos too.

TaraFoxglove wrote: »

How in shape is "in shape" though? People might have different definitions. A skinny fat girl who eats crap but is still slim (but soft) might think herself in shape. :pac:

I think I actually said "reasonable shape" or something like that instead of good shape. Basically not very overweight. I emphasised that I'm not Mr Six Pack (yet), but that I eat well and exercise daily. I have absolutely no problem with "a few extra lbs" (a few being anywhere from 1 to 15 in my book), but there's a point where saying you've "a few extra pounds" becomes an outright lie when you're actually 2 or 5 stone overweight.

TaraFoxglove

Tremelo wrote: »

I think I actually said "reasonable shape" or something like that instead of good shape. Basically not very overweight. I emphasised that I'm not Mr Six Pack (yet), but that I eat well and exercise daily. I have absolutely no problem with "a few extra lbs" (a few being anywhere from 1 to 15 in my book), but there's a point where saying you've "a few extra pounds" becomes an outright lie when you're actually 2 or 5 stone overweight.

I agree, and the person is not allowed to get offended when someone says they don't find that attractive. (not that any decent person would be that tactless as to say it that clearly)

Amtmann

TaraFoxglove wrote: »

I agree, and the person is not allowed to get offended when someone says they don't find that attractive. (not that any decent person would be that tactless as to say it that clearly)

Exactly! Politeness is always a given I hope. I'm more blunt on these boards than I would be in ID situations

Vanbis

I've read about so many here having profiles i decided to sign up with OKcupid because i was curious to try and thought why not? I don't have a picture up yet but i've already got one message and she commented on my profile.

If i did meet anyone or started to message them i plan on being honest from the start, whats the point otherwise. If i dont meat anyone nothing within a month i will delete my profile and go back to the good old fashioned way of dating.

Gillo

TaraFoxglove wrote: »

I agree, and the person is not allowed to get offended when someone says they don't find that attractive. (not that any decent person would be that tactless as to say it that clearly)

ha ha, there's a nice way and a not so nice way, I think in fairness to play safe someone could easily say "sorry, you're not really my type" without refering to body type / size.
As a general rule I didn't chat to people without photo's though.

Denisejcc

Tremelo wrote: »

I wouldn't delete it if I were you. I've been on some terrible dates too - but also some great ones. I've met one former gf online, and things are going well for me now with another girl. I really think it's 60% luck, 40% technique. You can send me a PM with a link to your profile if you want one guy's opinion btw.

Also, whenever you want to encourage a few messages your way, look at about 50 other profiles really quickly. This way, those 50 people will see that you've checked them out, and statistically, it's likely that at least a few will throw caution to the wind and send you a message. Seems to be a trick that nearly always works

Ok, Ile send you a link to my profile and you can tell me what you think!