Online Dating

Snowie · 13-05-2011 4:38pm

Denisejcc wrote: »

Yes I agree all of those Hi, How are you today? messages are deleted, dont even bother checking out the profile. I remember one guy had on his profile to ask him any 6 questions you want... so I went to the bother of thinking up 6 funny questions referencing comments in his profile and he didnt reply!??? :mad: after all that effort :rolleyes:

dont get your hopes up with online dating
dont take anything too seriously.
you may click online, in reality dont get on......
and As I said never get your hopes up :cool:....

Discodog · 13-05-2011 5:42pm

Even the name POF kind of suggests that you don't need to make an effort. Maybe it encourages people to be rude because they see you as one of many & not as an individual person. Also it would be so easy to become cynical & miss out on someone nice.

Real relationships are about compromise, give & take. Online dating allows us to be specific & to exclude people who do not meet our exact specification. Most people would not view their partner as perfection & their "flaws" are accepted as part of them whereas with online dating those people are excluded.

I know a wonderful couple. She is about 5'10'' & he is about 5'6''. She jokes that she would never of chosen him on a dating site yet they are madly in love.

miec · 13-05-2011 11:18pm

@Discodog you have a point there, I think you have to be open minded about these things.

I met someone tonight via POF, he is a nice man, I didn't feel an attraction but I liked talking with him and will meet up again to see how it goes, he may just end up being a friend, I can't see myself fancying him but who knows, I'll remain open minded but on another tangent against POF, it deleted my picture because it 'violated' their rules and no I did not have my boobs hanging out or some other type of monstrosity, basically it was a far away pic of me (full body so that everyone could see I was not obese) but you couldn't see my face close up. That has seriously pissed me off and I've decided to not put a pic up. I do have private images so I can send those.

I think the whole meet me thing is dubious. I have 'attracted' people via my previous pic and e-mailed them and most have not replied.

Galvasean · 13-05-2011 11:54pm

I think I might be packing in my online dating accounts. 'Been getting quite cosy with an ex of mine lately, but that's off topic.

edit: Just received an OKC mail from a some girl SECONDS after posting that!
And just after I said yesterday that girls never message m first :rolleyes:

oompaloompa · 14-05-2011 12:21am

Galvasean wrote: »

I think I might be packing in my online dating accounts. 'Been getting quite cosy with an ex of mine lately, but that's off topic.

edit: Just received an OKC mail from a some girl SECONDS after posting that!
And just after I said yesterday that girls never message m first :rolleyes:

I've been getting lots of mail lately....wonder are they boardsies!!

Was chatting to a nice guy last night, few mails back and forward, good banter... Seemed nice, til his line of questioning changed to my sexual likes\dislikes...

I'm not prudish, but I think its a little inappropriate to go down that road even from safety of behind a screen.

I said I wasn't looking for nsa, he assured me that he wasn't either, but wanted to be sure a potential date was interested in same pursuits as him....

do you think that's fair enough, or would it turn you off a guy\girl?

I took an instant dislike to him....

Galvasean · 14-05-2011 12:24am

oompaloompa wrote: »

Was chatting to a nice guy last night, few mails back and forward, good banter... Seemed nice, til his line of questioning changed to my sexual likes\dislikes...

I'm not prudish, but I think its a little inappropriate to go down that road even from safety of behind a screen.

I said I wasn't looking for nsa, he assured me that he wasn't either, but wanted to be sure a potential date was interested in same pursuits as him....

do you think that's fair enough, or would it turn you off a guy\girl?

I took an instant dislike to him....

Total BS line that. He wants to get jiggy and sweet buzz all else.

stupidusername · 14-05-2011 12:24am

Galvasean wrote: »

I think I might be packing in my online dating accounts. 'Been getting quite cosy with an ex of mine lately, but that's off topic.

edit: Just received an OKC mail from a some girl SECONDS after posting that!
And just after I said yesterday that girls never message m first :rolleyes:

I would've mailed you.

is it cause of your ex you're thinking of packing it in?

oompaloompa wrote: »

I've been getting lots of mail lately....wonder are they boardsies!!

Was chatting to a nice guy last night, few mails back and forward, good banter... Seemed nice, til his line of questioning changed to my sexual likes\dislikes...

I'm not prudish, but I think its a little inappropriate to go down that road even from safety of behind a screen.

I said I wasn't looking for nsa, he assured me that he wasn't either, but wanted to be sure a potential date was interested in same pursuits as him....

do you think that's fair enough, or would it turn you off a guy\girl?

I took an instant dislike to him....

yeah I'd be a bit put off by that too, but then it depends on your dynamic up till that point. if you feel uncomfortable with it, then what's the point.

Galvasean · 14-05-2011 12:27am

stupidusername wrote: »

is it cause of your ex you're thinking of packing it in?

Ya. We're gonna have a bit of a 'talk' soon and see how that goes.

Hopefully well

oompaloompa · 14-05-2011 12:28am

Galvasean wrote: »

Total BS line that. He wants to get jiggy and sweet buzz all else.

Yep that's what I assumed. Even if he was genuinely looking for something else, I was already put off by his line of questioning.
I'm sure there are enough women online looking for casual dates without men needing to pretend that they're interested in more.

Discodog · 14-05-2011 1:23am

oompaloompa wrote: »

I took an instant dislike to him....

If someone can't manage basic, decent manners then he is isn't worth a second of your time.

But please don't judge all males of the species by the actions of the dumbest - even if there seem to be a lot of them out there !.

Lenmeister · 14-05-2011 1:24am

And that's why they call it a "screening process" ^^

amandaf675 · 14-05-2011 1:54am

I think im unapproachable for some reason :L i send mails to guys. not just hey how are ya mails either and never get a reply

IrishEyes19 · 14-05-2011 2:27am

Seriously considering online dating, are there any free sites where the photo is blurred until you decide to release it when someone messages you. I just have a thing about my photo being on the net for all to see :rolleyes: Silly I know, but still an issue for me!! :rolleyes:

PeakOutput · 14-05-2011 8:46am

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

Seriously considering online dating, are there any free sites where the photo is blurred until you decide to release it when someone messages you. I just have a thing about my photo being on the net for all to see :rolleyes: Silly I know, but still an issue for me!! :rolleyes:

pof lets you have private images but it will look lie you have none to anyone just checking out your profile unless they read the part that says 'private images yes'

Discodog · 14-05-2011 10:16am

Lenmeister wrote: »

And that's why they call it a "screening process" ^^

Makes it sound like industry or job applications. Rather than finding a reason to reject someone it might help to read their profile & find things to like.

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

Silly I know, but still an issue for me!!

I am sure that it is an issue for many & rightly so. Society has rapidly changed to where putting private info & photos online is the done thing.
It's a bit like making a poster, with your face on it, stating that you are looking for a man & putting it up in your local community

.

Personally I would never be put off by a lack of a photo in a profile; attraction is so much more than just physical. I remember hearing an interview with Willie Daly (the Matchmaker). He was being asked whether his business was still of use in the modern age. He commented that "respectable girls" would not want their details on public display - bit bonkers but maybe true only a few years ago.

Amtmann · 14-05-2011 11:41am

Has anyone ever noticed the amount of rebounders on PoF? I always found the main things to look out for on it were people with dishonest photos and rebounders (unfortunately you wouldn't know a person was rebounding until you met them in person, at which point it tended to become pretty clear quite quickly).

Discodog · 14-05-2011 11:46am

I thought that rebounding was a trampoline term

. Gosh this online dating is more complicated than I thought !.

Yes there are a lot of liars out there but there are also some lovely people. I guess that I would rather look for the positive.

IrishEyes19 · 14-05-2011 2:59pm

PeakOutput wrote: »

pof lets you have private images but it will look lie you have none to anyone just checking out your profile unless they read the part that says 'private images yes'

I know what you mean. I'd have to over-come this photo thing I think

miec · 14-05-2011 7:37pm

Hi

For anyone wishing to overcome the photo thing, basically what I do is upload my pics as private images, and when I e-mail someone I include my pictures if they have a photo so it a sort of compromise.

Galvasean · 15-05-2011 1:35am

Tremelo wrote: »

Happy for you. Hope it works out. I have one ex who I know I'll still be thinking of when I'm on my deathbed. She'll always occupy a part of my heart I have to say. Anyway, I did ALL I could to keep her; yet if she came back to me tomorrow, I'd say no to her. My future is with someone else I feel. I suppose all guys have that one who we're always partly captive to. Not saying that's you for your ex Galvasean, just going off on a slight tangent.

Hmm, not quite the same. We were only together for a short while. In fact, me using the term 'ex' might have been a bit overloaded TBH. 'A girl i used to see for a while' would have been a better description.

Hyperbullet · 15-05-2011 2:10am

I appear to have a stalker on OKC. Visiting my profile every few hours yet never messages. WTF!!

stupidusername · 15-05-2011 2:19am

Hyperbullet wrote: »

I appear to have a stalker on OKC. Visiting my profile every few hours yet never messages. WTF!!

Little off topic maybe,but is she hot?

Hyperbullet · 15-05-2011 2:43am

stupidusername wrote: »

Little off topic maybe,but is she hot?

Ahhhhhhhhhh.....yeah... kinda.

stupidusername · 15-05-2011 2:46am

Hyperbullet wrote: »

Ahhhhhhhhhh.....yeah... kinda.

Nice.but yeah on topic can you block her? Or is it not bothering you too much?

Hyperbullet · 15-05-2011 3:25am

stupidusername wrote: »

Nice.but yeah on topic can you block her? Or is it not bothering you too much?

Not going to block he, just want to figure out what she's at. She's like a shark circling?

stupidusername · 15-05-2011 4:01am

Hyperbullet wrote: »

Not going to block he, just want to figure out what she's at. She's like a shark circling?

Hmm maybe just pay less attention to who's viewing your page? Or you could contact her first?

Galvasean · 15-05-2011 11:57am

Hyperbullet wrote: »

Not going to block he, just want to figure out what she's at. She's like a shark circling?

She's probably hoping you'll notice her and message her. A couple of girls on this very thread have said they do that.

Sky King · 15-05-2011 12:33pm

Seriously?

Those are... extremely passive tactics. I don't understand who anyone would go to the effort of setting up a profile and paying money, just to do that. Surely there would be an increased likelihood of results from a more pro-active approach?

Plus you'd have the added advantage of not appearing like an internet stalker as was proposed above.

Hyperbullet · 15-05-2011 12:37pm

kilkenny flyer wrote: »

Seriously?

Those are... extremely passive tactics. I don't understand who anyone would go to the effort of setting up a profile and paying money, just to do that. Surely there would be an increased likelihood of results from a more pro-active approach?

Plus you'd have the added advantage of not appearing like an internet stalker as was proposed above.

Passive as her tactics may be, she's gotten my attention. I'm going to wait it out for another few days though to see if she makes contact.

Discodog · 15-05-2011 12:38pm

kilkenny flyer wrote: »

Surely there would be an increased likelihood of results from a more pro-active approach?

Yes there would but many people don't have that degree of confidence. It is mirror of what happens face to face in a pub or club. She may keep looking at you, hoping that you will make the first move. It's almost part of tradition for some people.

Online Dating

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