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Online Dating

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    #1952
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    liah wrote: »
    It seems everyone on boards has received this "OMG YOU'RE HOT!" email from OkCupid except me. :(

    Thanks, OkCupid, for reminding me of my place :pac:

    I think your 100 emails a day is better than the OKCupid "Your hot!" email :pac: Do guys get it more than girls? If so, might just be their way of keeping guys interested in the site. Given that actual attractive girls will bet an avalanche of emails.


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    #1953
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    IIRC, the mail came to me after not using it for a few days...


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    #1954
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    Galvasean wrote: »
    IIRC, the mail came to me after not using it for a few days...

    That's along the lines of my thinking. It is sent to people who haven't used the site in a few days or who have not been getting many messages. I'd be pretty cynical about that message.


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    #1955
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    There's been spans of weeks where I haven't logged in and still nothing :pac:

    Has anything actually changed on the site? I remember reading the email someone cross-posted on here awhile back and it said it would match them with more attractive people. Did it?

    I want more attractive match results, damnit!


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    #1956
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    parker kent wrote: »
    That's along the lines of my thinking. It is sent to people who haven't used the site in a few days or who have not been getting many messages. I'd be pretty cynical about that message.

    Actually the more I come to think about it, I think the very reason i stopped using it was because I had recieved not one email on the site at that point.

    Buggers! :mad:


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    #1957
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    liah wrote: »
    Has anything actually changed on the site? I remember reading the email someone cross-posted on here awhile back and it said it would match them with more attractive people. Did it?

    I didn't notice any differences. There is a pretty limited selection of people between 22 and 28 active on the site (which was my age range), so not much leeway really. There basically is what there is.

    Maybe in a bigger country it might make a difference? I'd still be pretty sceptical though.


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    #1958
    MudSkipper
    Registered Users Posts: 556 ✭✭✭MudSkipper


    liah wrote: »
    I want more attractive match results, damnit!

    Here and here

    Second one seems to be down, but both sites will boot you off if your not found attractive yourself.... so I'm not allowed to join anyway :pac:


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    #1959
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    I hope the nerdy glasses line is a píss take!


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    #1960
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    Damnit.

    I've essentially given up on online dating while I'm here. I get some results, but none of them are people I could see myself with for a multitude of reasons. They're either good-looking but dicks, or not-great-looking with mewling "let's put you on a pedestal" personalities. No in-between.

    Starting to think I'll be single forever at this rate. Why is it so hard to find a guy who I'm attracted to AND has a decent personality?

    Also think it's funny that, despite having "am not typically attracted to guys with long hair" in my profile, at least 40% of the guys who mail me have long hair. It's unnatural. I hate long hair on men so much, yet they seem drawn to me :confused: Same with guys who are grossly overweight, though I don't state anything about it in the profile.

    Argh. Anyone else ever feel like just putting up a big-ass bulletin with an arrow pointing down saying, "IF YOU'RE OUT THERE, I'M HERE, FIND ME ALREADY, I'M SICK OF THIS SHIT!"? I hate the hassle of looking for someone. I hate the pressure of dating. I just wanna skip to the part where I'm comfortable and happy with someone and feck the rest.

    I want a True Romance romance :pac:


    Anyway, it's all well and good to get a load of mails, but I'd rather only have the odd sporadic one with some promise than a cubic fuckton that I wouldn't touch with a barge pole.


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    #1961
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    liah wrote: »
    Anyway, it's all well and good to get a load of mails, but I'd rather only have the odd sporadic one with some promise than a cubic fuckton that I wouldn't touch with a barge pole.

    Best phrase I've heard in a while! I imagine the plethora of emails is bound to cause the odd decent person to be ignored just through the sheer amount you'd have to read. A bit like sensory overload, just too much to take in when combined with the people you're genuinely never going to be interested in.

    I have given up on it for the time being as well. Met a good few people, but not what I'm looking for really.


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    #1962
    Maguined
    Registered Users Posts: 8,247 ✭✭✭Maguined


    liah wrote: »
    I want a True Romance romance :pac:

    The Christian Slater movie where he falls in love with Arquette over kung fu movies before they end up involved in a rampage of guns n gangsta's?


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    #1963
    miec
    Registered Users Posts: 856 ✭✭✭miec


    So what does it mean when someone clicks yes on the 'wants to meet you' thing on POF, so you message them, they sign in and then log out without messaging you back?

    I'm guessing nothing. I had ticked a number of those and checked out their profile, sent an e-mail and nothing back. I have decided to step back into my self-imposed nunnery as I realise internet dating is not for me anymore. Heck I have been a real old timer at it, I met an ex through the internet in 2000 when dating sites had a sort of innocence to them, now they have become hard work. I'd rather leave it up to chance really. In actual fact I find they are becoming more and more like the bad night club scenes that I no longer go to, annoying and frustrating. Maybe in time I will try again but not POF that site is just head wrecking.


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    #1964
    Sky King
    Registered Users Posts: 4,431 ✭✭✭Sky King


    Also think it's funny that, despite having "am not typically attracted to guys with long hair" in my profile, at least 40% of the guys who mail me have long hair

    How long is long though?

    I don't think of myself as having long hair though I have been told to go get it cut!

    Hair length is subjective!


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    #1965
    miec
    Registered Users Posts: 856 ✭✭✭miec


    @ Liah, I feel your pain. I have realised that for some weird reason if you put up on your profile that you do not want to meet someone with X factor, you will get more of them, it is some quirk of nature. I find it is best to state what you do want rather than what don't want. It seems to work a bit better.


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    #1966
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    Maguined wrote: »
    The Christian Slater movie where he falls in love with Arquette over kung fu movies before they end up involved in a rampage of guns n gangsta's?

    That's the one :D
    kilkenny flyer wrote: »
    How long is long though?

    I don't think of myself as having long hair though I have been told to go get it cut!

    Hair length is subjective!

    Of course it's subjective - I just can't stand the look of it. Cesare (Francois Arnaud) in The Borgias is about the absolute limit for me, any longer than that and it's like kryptonite to me. Even then I still think he would look about sixty gazillion times better with shorter hair.

    It just looks awful on men to me. Shorter (but not too short! really don't like bald at all either) ALWAYS looks the best, from what I've seen. Any guy I've known who had long hair looked at least 5 points better on the 1-10 scale once he got it chopped.

    Some guys can pull it off, I guess - as in, remain attractive despite the hair - but they will always, always, always look better than they did once they get it cut.

    Sorry if it offends you, I have no idea why I'm so against it, but I really can't stand the sight of it :pac: It is only one opinion of only one girl, there's plenty out there who love men with long hair!


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    #1967
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    No different to how I don't like short hair on girls, each to their own.


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    #1968
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    parker kent wrote: »
    I imagine the plethora of emails is bound to cause the odd decent person to be ignored just through the sheer amount you'd have to read.

    This is what I repeatedly tell myself when I cry myself to sleep each night whilst sucking my thumb. "They would like you... they just don't know you!"
    Too dark? :pac


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    #1969
    Pepe LeFrits
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 15,001 ✭✭✭✭Pepe LeFrits


    liah wrote: »
    Of course it's subjective - I just can't stand the look of it. Cesare (Francois Arnaud) in The Borgias is about the absolute limit for me, any longer than that and it's like kryptonite to me. Even then I still think he would look about sixty gazillion times better with shorter hair.

    It just looks awful on men to me. Shorter (but not too short! really don't like bald at all either) ALWAYS looks the best, from what I've seen. Any guy I've known who had long hair looked at least 5 points better on the 1-10 scale once he got it chopped.

    Some guys can pull it off, I guess - as in, remain attractive despite the hair - but they will always, always, always look better than they did once they get it cut.

    Sorry if it offends you, I have no idea why I'm so against it, but I really can't stand the sight of it :pac: It is only one opinion of only one girl, there's plenty out there who love men with long hair!
    I'm exactly the same with curly hair. It's such a turn off. It's probably cos I've bits of curly hair at the front and I loathe them.
    parker kent wrote:
    No different to how I don't like short hair on girls, each to their own.
    That too. Though I think that's probably easier to explain; it makes girls look like boys... or middle-aged.

    Maybe it's the inverse for liah? ;)


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    #1970
    TaraFoxglove
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,057 ✭✭✭TaraFoxglove


    Pepe LeFrits wrote: »
    That too. Though I think that's probably easier to explain; it makes girls look like boys... or middle-aged.

    On the right girl, short hair looks amazing. Long hair might be your preference but discounting someone for having short hair - wow, just wow.

    I have preferences but not all my exes have matched them.


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    #1971
    Pepe LeFrits
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 15,001 ✭✭✭✭Pepe LeFrits


    I didn't say I discount them... it just considerably reduces their attractiveness to me.

    These posts are going to come back and bite me in the arse one day, I know it :)


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    #1972
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    TaraFoxglove wrote: »
    On the right girl, short hair looks amazing. Long hair might be your preference but discounting someone for having short hair - wow, just wow.

    I have preferences but not all my exes have matched them.

    Neither of us said we discount girls based on it, but just that we prefer long hair. Like Liah saying that 99 times out of 100 she thinks that guys look better with short hair, I'd say the same about girls and long hair. I just love long hair. A girl having nice hair is one of my big attractions.

    It doesn't mean I have discounted every single girl with short hair (indeed I had a crush on a class mate last year with short hair...though I'd love to have seen her with long hair).


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    #1973
    Sky King
    Registered Users Posts: 4,431 ✭✭✭Sky King


    TaraFoxglove wrote: »
    On the right girl, short hair looks amazing.

    True that!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJft1XHhRGY


    ^Give it a chance :)


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    #1974
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    TaraFoxglove wrote: »
    Long hair might be your preference but discounting someone for having short hair - wow, just wow.

    I didn't see you jumping on Liah when she said she generally doesn't like men with long hair, but when a guy says the same for women with short hair it's, "wow, just wow." Funny that. :rolleyes:


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    #1975
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    Yeah, I don't think it's right to jump on people for having preferences in what they're into and what they're not. It's not his fault he doesn't like short hair, it's not my fault I don't like long hair - it just is what it is. Everyone has their thing.


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    #1976
    TaraFoxglove
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,057 ✭✭✭TaraFoxglove


    Galvasean wrote: »
    I didn't see you jumping on Liah when she said she generally doesn't like men with long hair, but when a guy says the same for women with short hair it's, "wow, just wow." Funny that. :rolleyes:

    Sigh, have you got a problem with me? What's with the attitude? Rolleyes? Really?

    I actually did think the same of Liah and made the point that not all my exes met my preferences, so was looking at it from the female side too, that we shouldn't be unreasonable either.


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    #1977
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    TaraFoxglove wrote: »
    Sigh, have you got a problem with me? What's with the attitude? Rolleyes? Really?

    Nope, just the attitude your post appeared to convey, in that women seem to be allowed to be as picky as they like but when a man does the very same thing it is something to be looked down upon.
    TaraFoxglove wrote: »
    I actually did think the same of Liah and made the point that not all my exes met my preferences, so was looking at it from the female side too, that we shouldn't be unreasonable either.

    You could have made that clearer so. In context your last post did come across as being quite one-sided / borderline sexist. But since you have clarified your stance that's cool.


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    #1978
    Pepe LeFrits
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 15,001 ✭✭✭✭Pepe LeFrits


    Galvasean wrote: »
    You could have made that clearer so. In context your last post did come across as being quite one-sided / borderline sexist. But since you have clarified your stance that's cool.
    To be fair, I AM a total sexist. So I personally wasn't offended.


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    #1979
    TaraFoxglove
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,057 ✭✭✭TaraFoxglove


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Nope, just the attitude your post appeared to convey, in that women seem to be allowed to be as picky as they like but when a man does the very same thing it is something to be looked down upon.

    Ugh, no, that's not what I meant at all.


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    #1980
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    What is so shameful about wanting a partner you're physically attracted to, and knowing what you aren't physically attracted to?

    I would hate to be in a relationship where I wasn't attracted to the person, it sounds like a miserable prospect. That's the part I don't get about the "don't be so shallow" kind of comments. You can't control what turns you on, nor can you control what turns you off. Why would you force yourself to be with someone you're not into that way? Doesn't seem healthy..


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    #1981
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,117 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    liah wrote: »
    What is so shameful about wanting a partner you're physically attracted to, and knowing what you aren't physically attracted to?

    I would hate to be in a relationship where I wasn't attracted to the person, it sounds like a miserable prospect. That's the part I don't get about the "don't be so shallow" kind of comments. You can't control what turns you on, nor can you control what turns you off. Why would you force yourself to be with someone you're not into that way? Doesn't seem healthy..


    Totally agree. I know the conversation was about hair which is easily changed but I would never date someone with a bear - again easily changed but I hate them and find them a real turn off.


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