Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Online Dating

Options
1…6465676970…330

Comments

  • Options
    #1982
    Pepe LeFrits
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 15,001 ✭✭✭✭Pepe LeFrits


    Dovies wrote: »
    Totally agree. I know the conversation was about hair which is easily changed but I would never date someone with a bear - again easily changed but I hate them and find them a real turn off.
    Are we talking pet grizzlies or stuffed Yogis?

    bear_bike.jpg

    Not impressed.


  • Options
    #1983
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,117 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    Lol oops banana fingers!! :D

    BEARD obviously!


  • Options
    #1984
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    Dovies wrote: »
    Totally agree. I know the conversation was about hair which is easily changed but I would never date someone with a bear - again easily changed but I hate them and find them a real turn off.

    I'd find the prospect of a bear mauling me pretty uncomfortable too :pac: Plus imagine the food bills. All those pic-i-nic baskets. Yikes.


  • Options
    #1985
    TaraFoxglove
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,057 ✭✭✭TaraFoxglove


    liah wrote: »
    I would hate to be in a relationship where I wasn't attracted to the person, it sounds like a miserable prospect. That's the part I don't get about the "don't be so shallow" kind of comments. You can't control what turns you on, nor can you control what turns you off. Why would you force yourself to be with someone you're not into that way? Doesn't seem healthy..

    Well, here's an example. I love hairy men with scruffy heads of hair. But if I marry someone like that, he might go bald. Am I really going to ditch him for that reason? He can't help going bald!


  • Options
    #1986
    MudSkipper
    Registered Users Posts: 556 ✭✭✭MudSkipper


    Dovies wrote: »
    Totally agree. I know the conversation was about hair which is easily changed but I would never date someone with a bear - again easily changed but I hate them and find them a real turn off.

    wouldnt date someone with a bear myself either :pac:

    But what would you do if the person you were dating for say 3 or 6 months and he decides to grow a beard and or long hair?

    Although I'm usually relatively clean shave and shortish hair, I also regularly grow a goatee or long hair for a few months, before shaving it off again :)


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #1987
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    TaraFoxglove wrote: »
    Well, here's an example. I love hairy men with scruffy heads of hair. But if I marry someone like that, he might go bald. Am I really going to ditch him for that reason? He can't help going bald!

    There's a difference between accepting changes to someone you already have an emotional investment in and a true relationship with, and browsing online dating profiles and ignoring the ones you don't find yourself attracted to. In your case, you started out with someone you were attracted to. Why is it so horrible to want to be with someone you're physically turned on by?


  • Options
    #1988
    TaraFoxglove
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,057 ✭✭✭TaraFoxglove


    liah wrote: »
    There's a difference between accepting changes to someone you already have an emotional investment in and a true relationship with, and browsing online dating profiles and ignoring the ones you don't find yourself attracted to. In your case, you started out with someone you were attracted to. Why is it so horrible to want to be with someone you're physically turned on by?

    I've been turned on by men in the past who didn't fit my preferences. And sometimes it's hard to discern if there's physical attraction until you meet someone face to face, so it just seems to be jumping the gun a bit.


  • Options
    #1989
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    TaraFoxglove wrote: »
    Ugh, no, that's not what I meant at all.

    Well then you probably should have made yourself more clear.
    liah wrote: »
    What is so shameful about wanting a partner you're physically attracted to, and knowing what you aren't physically attracted to?

    This.
    It seems okay for people to dismiss potential partners based on lack of sense of humour, lack of confidence, lack of common interests or any other number of reasons, but when the stumbling block happens to be looks suddenly it's a sign of being shallow or not open minded enough.
    TaraFoxglove wrote: »
    Well, here's an example. I love hairy men with scruffy heads of hair. But if I marry someone like that, he might go bald. Am I really going to ditch him for that reason? He can't help going bald!

    I suppose hopefully by then you would have established a connection that runs deeper than attraction based on looks? Personally, I think that when you have truly fallen in love with someone you will no longer give a darn what they look like. With dating however, I think it's a completely different kettle of fish, the exact opposite in fact.


  • Options
    #1990
    TaraFoxglove
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,057 ✭✭✭TaraFoxglove


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Well then you probably should have made yourself more clear.

    Or you shouldn't have been so sensitive perhaps?
    Galvasean wrote: »
    With dating however, I think it's a completely different kettle of fish, the exact opposite in fact.

    Hardly the exact opposite, sometimes you can be immediately be attracted to someone who doesn't meet any of your preferences. That's certainly been the case for me on a few occasions.

    And similar sense of humour and things in common ARE more important than looks in the long-run because when beauty fades that is what remains.


  • Options
    #1991
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    TaraFoxglove wrote: »
    I've been turned on by men in the past who didn't fit my preferences. And sometimes it's hard to discern if there's physical attraction until you meet someone face to face, so it just seems to be jumping the gun a bit.

    Sure, so have I. But they have to have some other quality I find attractive.

    It's not like I'm asking for perfection, just stating I can't find long hair attractive no matter how much I wish it was different. Same with short people, unfortunately :( Try as I might I can't help but feel weird about being with someone shorter than me. Maybe one day I'll find exceptions to those rules but it hasn't happened yet. I really only have three definite turn-offs: long hair, shortness, and being very overweight (I don't mind a couple extra though). While I have preferences on a vast array of other things, they've all been subject to change as affection builds. Those haven't though. And I can't help that. I genuinely can't. I would if I could, believe me!


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #1992
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    TaraFoxglove wrote: »
    I've been turned on by men in the past who didn't fit my preferences. And sometimes it's hard to discern if there's physical attraction until you meet someone face to face, so it just seems to be jumping the gun a bit.

    We're not saying that all these decisions have to made before meeting the person. There are many posts in thread about needing to meet the person to gauge whether there is attraction. But what we are saying is that by and large, people have things they tend to be attracted to.

    I typically don't like short hair or very overweight women so any girls on dating sites who are one or the other of those are unlikely to be found attractive by me. That's not my fault, I just like what I like. Plus it is not as if there are not enough girls out there with long hair and who are thin, physically fit or with just a few extra pounds to match my preferences. Again I'm not ruling out girls with short hair, but by and large I just don't like it.

    Now if I were to fall in love with a girl and down the line she cut her hair or lost it for any reason, well by that stage I would already love her so it wouldn't be the same issue. All I'm saying is that my preference is for girls with long hair. That is what catches my attention.

    I could talk about the type of long hair I like, but that would probably open another can of worms :pac::P Though if you have hair like
    Kate Middleton
    , you're on a winner :D


  • Options
    #1993
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    This thread is reminding me that I really need to go get my hair cut.


  • Options
    #1994
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    If you do Liah, I'm going to use the ignore user function. It's how I roll :pac:


  • Options
    #1995
    TaraFoxglove
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,057 ✭✭✭TaraFoxglove


    The problem I've found with online dating is that I've met up with men who I thought I might feel attraction to based on their photos but felt zilch. I wonder would I have felt more of an attraction to someone I passed over?

    This is my main problem with online dating as opposed to meeting someone IRL, spontaneously. IRL, I just know if there's an attraction, straight away.

    So, online dating isn't really for me, I've found, I love the thrill of chance encounters.


  • Options
    #1996
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    I wouldn't get it cut short, it's just, since I moved here I've been too terrified to go to a hairdresser (my mother's a hairdresser so I always took this crap for granted, trying to communicate what I want in something other than my native tongue when I don't know hairdressing-specific terms is rather daunting!) and have been cutting it myself for the last year.. needless to say, it needs a professional seeing-to :o

    Suppose that's what I'll do this weekend. Also want to dye it for the first time. Need to pick a colour though.. but I don't know what suits me, and I don't wanna waste a fortune on something that might not turn out..


    ...probably be procrastinating for another year at this rate :pac:


  • Options
    #1997
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    TaraFoxglove wrote: »
    The problem I've found with online dating is that I've met up with men who I thought I might feel attraction to based on their photos but felt zilch. I wonder would I have felt more of an attraction to someone I passed over?

    This is my main problem with online dating as opposed to meeting someone IRL, spontaneously. IRL, I just know if there's an attraction, straight away.

    So, online dating isn't really for me, I've found, I love the thrill of chance encounters.

    That's the problem with on-line dating. Some people just aren't photogenic. Some people are photogenic and are dicks! Or some people are and are lovely. It's a mixed bag.

    My opinion on the whole online dating thing - good for another route in meeting people but shouldn't be solely relied on for meeting people. Going out and having the banter is waaaay more fun! :D


  • Options
    #1998
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    TaraFoxglove wrote: »
    The problem I've found with online dating is that I've met up with men who I thought I might feel attraction to based on their photos but felt zilch. I wonder would I have felt more of an attraction to someone I passed over?

    This is my main problem with online dating as opposed to meeting someone IRL, spontaneously. IRL, I just know if there's an attraction, straight away.

    So, online dating isn't really for me, I've found, I love the thrill of chance encounters.

    Well that's the big issue with online dating. It is easy to miss somebody you might be attracted to through bad luck, bad timing, search parameters being too narrow, bad pictures etc. But people are still going to be naturally want to limit their selection somehow, You can't meet everybody, so you are going to limit it based on a mixture of personal and physical things you find attractive.

    And Liah....I'm awaiting your Purple buzz cut on Monday :D:pac:


  • Options
    #1999
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    TaraFoxglove wrote: »
    Or you shouldn't have been so sensitive perhaps?

    Little from column A, little from column B? :pac:

    olive-branch.gif&sa=X&ei=tArVTYLJI4KahQeCsYz1Cw&ved=0CAQQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNGhrSM_OAY2F6ofDIiAUBhLy3Flag


  • Options
    #2000
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Would I be right in guessing that a lot of people lie about their age on these sites? :confused:

    Some people looking waaaay over than what their profile states.


  • Options
    #2001
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    Larianne wrote: »
    Would I be right in guessing that a lot of people lie about their age on these sites? :confused:

    Some people looking waaaay over than what their profile states.

    I'd say so, if not there are some severely aged 20-something women on dating sites! I imagine it's the same with men.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #2002
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    That's rather annoying. Not doing any favours for themselves. :cool:


  • Options
    #2003
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Liah, I assume you're looking in Germany yeah? how different are things there?
    Larianne wrote: »
    Would I be right in guessing that a lot of people lie about their age on these sites? :confused:

    Some people looking waaaay over than what their profile states.

    never even occurred to me that people might do that. A bit naive I suppose :o I wonder did guys assume I was doing that, as apparently I look at least 5 years younger than I am. hmmm.


  • Options
    #2004
    Marty McFly
    Registered Users Posts: 11,224 ✭✭✭✭Marty McFly


    stupidusername wrote: »
    never even occurred to me that people might do that. A bit naive I suppose :o I wonder did guys assume I was doing that, as apparently I look at least 5 years younger than I am. hmmm.

    Ah youre not alone there, the thought of people lying about there age never even once cossed my mind I must be naive to:o, dont think ive ever come across it, has anyone ever caught anyone out?


  • Options
    #2005
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    stupidusername wrote: »
    Liah, I assume you're looking in Germany yeah? how different are things there?

    In terms of online dating? Or dating in general?


  • Options
    #2006
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    liah wrote: »
    In terms of online dating? Or dating in general?

    well both I suppose, but seen as the thread is about online...


  • Options
    #2007
    Dord
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,817 ✭✭✭✭Dord


    Larianne wrote: »
    Would I be right in guessing that a lot of people lie about their age on these sites? :confused:

    Some people looking waaaay over than what their profile states.

    I've noticed the same. I saw some late 20's-ish women who were probably 10 years older than what they said.


  • Options
    #2008
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    Larianne wrote: »

    My opinion on the whole online dating thing - good for another route in meeting people but shouldn't be solely relied on for meeting people. Going out and having the banter is waaaay more fun! :D

    hell yea I agree :D i just wanted to echo that ive really nothing majorly interesting to say...

    Tho ive been told Im a very picy when it comes to women....


  • Options
    #2009
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Larianne wrote: »
    Would I be right in guessing that a lot of people lie about their age on these sites? :confused:

    Some people looking waaaay over than what their profile states.

    For sure. I see a lot of women claiming to be 28 who look about 40.
    I remember spotting an ex of mine on OKcupid recently. She was 28, going on 29 when we split up. Her profile said she was 26. Her profile pictures were also from when she was in secondary school (I know this as she showed me them on Facebook).


  • Options
    #2010
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    There must be something SERIOUSLY wrong with my POF profile. Virtually every woman I mail looks at it and then decides not to respond.
    *grumble*


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #2011
    Discodog
    Registered Users Posts: 15,897 ✭✭✭✭Discodog


    Well I think that Tara is talking a lot of sense. Acting on a photo is totally alien to how we normally choose potential partners. The phrase "the camera doesn't lie" is a joke !. I would willing meet someone on the basis of a phone conversation as I think that it can tell you so much about them. At least if you can chat happily on the phone you are unlikely to end up with a silent date.

    Attraction is made up of so many different factors. The key is to be open minded but online dating encourages us to be very closed & selective.


This discussion has been closed.
Advertisement