Online Dating

parker kent

Discodog wrote: »

Well I think that Tara is talking a lot of sense. Acting on a photo is totally alien to how we normally choose potential partners. The phrase "the camera doesn't lie" is a joke !. I would willing meet someone on the basis of a phone conversation as I think that it can tell you so much about them. At least if you can chat happily on the phone you are unlikely to end up with a silent date.

Attraction is made up of so many different factors. The key is to be open minded but online dating encourages us to be very closed & selective.

Everybody agrees with that. Just that you have to have some sort of selection criteria and it is normal to veer towards people who seem to meet what you find attractive.

cenvuza7fg9kx5

Your obviously all single here so why don't you just put your details in a message (gender, age etc.) and pm each other. Then if you like each other give your facebook page as people are less likely to lie on that cause their friends will see.

I just stumbled upon this page and read it for the laugh and I'm not surprised about the weirdos and lies on the dating pages. It allows someone to be anonymous, or whoever they want to be. There are a lot of quite bitter people on this thread though!

You need to get out more, you can't beat meeting people in the flesh. Having said that I'm single myself!

Snowie

Galvasean wrote: »

There must be something SERIOUSLY wrong with my POF profile. Virtually every woman I mail looks at it and then decides not to respond.
*grumble*

Man seriously
I don't reply to some women and yes I feel bad about it but like seriously some women make no effort..... Like hi ok yes I'm on a dating site but saying
Hi really isn't going to make or force me to want to talk to you.....

Tho I recently meet one girl who was pretty cool charming interesting but you know what she triedto intrap me with sexual fiendishness..

Bassiacly using sex to mask that she never stopped texting me...

Online datings fun I never expect to meet a potential gf of the place..
But I do expect to meet some interesting people

BigDuffman

I joined POF / OK recently as a few of the lads reccomended it. I must say, I was initially hesitant as there is a certain stigma attached to it still in Ireland. But its working a charm! I had images of 40 year old virgins (of both genders) but I was very wrong!

Only issue I have which others seem to encounter to is messages going "HI Hw R u lol x?"

I always reply as feel guilty not replying, but I tend to reply with something that is equally as uninteresting as an opener!

stargazer 68

Well I have had a couple of dates now (coffee) with a really nice guy I met on POF. We chat really easily and have had a a great laugh on both occasions. My problem? He works nights - as in every night.

Would anyone else have a problem with that or is it just me? I have plenty of people I can have coffee with - thats not what Im looking for.

liah

stupidusername wrote: »

well both I suppose, but seen as the thread is about online...

Well, for online dating it's.. slow, at best. I'm in a town that's far outside pretty much all major cities. I don't know of any German dating websites, so that means on OkCupid etc it's slow going because there just aren't many results in my area. Get replies from a lot of Danes though, haven't met any yet.

I had a date with a guy on it awhile ago, didn't work out but had a lovely time. Another guy who messaged me on the site turned out to be a friend of a friend, which was awkward, because I'd ignored his reply then he recognized me Go figure. Other than that, nada. Anyone I like is too far away.

As for real life, haven't gone to much of an effort to go out and find someone. I figured it'd be like Ireland where I could walk into a pub and be wearing the face off someone by the end of the night and see where it goes from there :pac: This, apparently, is not the case here - I didn't even get approached. Once. Very different to Ireland. So after that bit of dent to my ego I've kind of backed off the whole dating thing. Need to reassess my strategy!

Pepe LeFrits

I deactivated my profile last night. It wasn't fun while it lasted!

I think I shall stick to my tried and tested method of periodic drunken, emotionally unfulfilling one-off hook-ups.

TaraFoxglove

Pepe LeFrits wrote: »

I think I shall stick to my tried and tested method of periodic drunken, emotionally unfulfilling one-off hook-ups.

Me too. Tis the Irish way! High five!

oompaloompa

Dovies wrote: »

Well I have had a couple of dates now (coffee) with a really nice guy I met on POF. We chat really easily and have had a a great laugh on both occasions. My problem? He works nights - as in every night.

Would anyone else have a problem with that or is it just me? I have plenty of people I can have coffee with - thats not what Im looking for.

hmmmm someone who works every night is most likely married/in a relationship!

Maybe I'm just a cynic

stargazer 68

oompaloompa wrote: »

hmmmm someone who works every night is most likely married/in a relationship!

Maybe I'm just a cynic

Haha no hes definitely not! When I say every night I mean he doesnt do a week on and a week off or nights on shift. His permanent job is the night shift.

parker kent

oompaloompa wrote: »

hmmmm someone who works every night is most likely married/in a relationship!

Maybe I'm just a cynic

Eh not exactly! I have known people who work full time night shifts. It happens. I think I went about a year not seeing my brother when he had hours meaning he worked from 4-12 every day.

Sanjuro

Galvasean wrote: »

There must be something SERIOUSLY wrong with my POF profile. Virtually every woman I mail looks at it and then decides not to respond.
*grumble*

Thank fuck. It's not just me then.

*empathy grumble*

Galvasean

Wow some people are really serious about this type thing:

Some broad wrote:

looking for nice guy,with great style,with brown eyes,who can make me laugh,whos fun to be around,who takes me as i am and who loves music,and who can treat me like a princess n someone that can give me his full attention at all times...:P

DONT mesge me if we have NOTHING in common!
if ur not my type ur mesge will be deleted!!dont like guys wit LONG HAIR,BALD guys,guys with RED HAIR etc so dont messge me!tanx!

what the hell does etc. mean in this context?

parker kent

She sounds like an almighty pain in the hole.

stargazer 68

Bet she is one of the ones who complain about getting no mail!
:rolleyes:

Phat Cat

Galvasean wrote: »

by Some broad wrote:

looking for nice guy,with great style,with brown eyes,who can make me laugh,whos fun to be around,who takes me as i am and who loves music,and who can treat me like a princess n someone that can give me his full attention at all times...:p

DONT mesge me if we have NOTHING in common!
if ur not my type ur mesge will be deleted!!dont like guys wit LONG HAIR,BALD guys,guys with RED HAIR etc so dont messge me!tanx!

Jesus, she sounds like a total head wrecker........or a 17 year old

Btw what she wrote is the equivalent of a guy writing "No fat chicks please" and only a total a**hole would put something like that on their profile.

G86

I don't think there's anything wrong with knowing what you're attracted to, but at the same time you can shoot yourself in the foot if you're too steadfast about it. Sure, you can judge how attractive someone is by a photo, but you can't judge chemistry. They could be the hottest thing to walk the earth, and yet you meet them and...nothing!

I generally go for guys around my height or taller, with a decent build and dark hair. That said, I dated a guy who was overweight before and still found him savagely attractive. If I'd seen him in a photo beforehand I wouldn't have been blown away at all; which just goes to show the difference that chemistry can make.

So, it doesn't mean I'll rule out guys who don't fall into my 'type', it just means that those are guys I find myself attracted to the most.

Galvasean

I don't go for 'type' myself. I couldn't tell you what my 'type' is. I'm more of a "I'll know what turns me on when I see it" kind of person.

I did laugh when reading that snippet I posted up. Brown eyes only? I mean there's having a 'type' and then there's being obsessively picky. Probably the type of girl that posts things like, "How come there are no decent guys out there!!!!???????????"

Galvasean

Thea Brief Pipe wrote: »

There are a lot of quite bitter people on this thread though!

*Raises hand*

Thea Brief Pipe wrote: »

You need to get out more, you can't beat meeting people in the flesh. Having said that I'm single myself!

there are dickheads/gombeens out there in the real world too. Problem is they all have broadband connections now.

Phat Cat

Well people can have preferences but that girl had more boxes that needed ticking then an NCT form yet she expects guys to take her like she is :rolleyes:

She is obliviously still in her teens though..........or at least I hope she is with that attitude.

kingtut

Galvasean wrote: »

There must be something SERIOUSLY wrong with my POF profile. Virtually every woman I mail looks at it and then decides not to respond.
*grumble*

I must say I have the opposite problem. Women seem to look at my pics and then send me messages but going by what they ask they have not even read my profile! *grumble*

Galvasean

Phat Cat wrote: »

She is obliviously still in her teens though..........or at least I hope she is with that attitude.

LOL. You'd be wrong :eek:

I did an advanced search on POF. Under interests I typed the word 'dinosaurs'. No matches. Not one! Final straw! I've had it with this website! :mad:

Phat Cat

Galvasean wrote: »

LOL. You'd be wrong :eek:

I did an advanced search on POF. Under interests I typed the word 'dinosaurs'. No matches. Not one! Final straw! I've had it with this website! :mad:

Seriously??? How old was she as a matter of interest?

Btw if you are typing 'dinosaurs' into POF and getting no results then maybe you need to join a more mature dating site? :pac:

Galvasean

Phat Cat wrote: »

Seriously??? How old was she as a matter of interest?

Mid 20s, about my age.

Phat Cat wrote:

Btw if you are typing 'dinosaurs' into POF and getting no results then maybe you need to join a more mature dating site? :pac:

...... :eek:

Phat Cat

Galvasean wrote: »

Mid 20s, about my age.

Bah! Best avoided so, she comes across as completely self absorbed with an extra sprinkle of text speak and shallowness thrown into the mix for good measure.

Galvasean wrote: »

...... :eek:

I kid, I kid :pac:

donfers

I have a question

Are the people who use dating sites representative of people on the dating scene as a whole?

Now I know many of the people posting in this thread are well-rounded, confident, secure, intelligent, sociable attractive people so don't jump down my throat here, I am not saying all of case x is like this..................I am just putting forward the theory that perhaps there are a greater number of unsociable, strange (not always a bad trait), deceitful, insecure, picky, desperate and unattractive people involved in online dating than you would perhaps meet in real life...thus it's unsurprising that many of you well-rounded folks are having difficulties finding someone you like

would you agree or do you think it is representative of the dating scene in general?

Otis Driftwood

I think thats an interesting theory tbh but I dont think there as many nutters using online dating as some may think.

From personal experience of the people Ive met on dating sites,Id say its 75% 25% in favour of normal people.Of course maybe Ive been lucky,or maybe its the fact Ive used them intermittently and never for more than 2 or 3 months at a time.I find I just get bored with the bloody things.

Galvasean

donfers wrote: »

I am just putting forward the theory that perhaps there are a greater number of unsociable, strange (not always a bad trait), deceitful, insecure, picky, desperate and unattractive people involved in online dating than you would perhaps meet in real life...thus it's unsurprising that many of you well-rounded folks are having difficulties finding someone you like

would you agree or do you think it is representative of the dating scene in general?

To be honest, (and I've said this before) go to any nite club in Dublin (or pretty much anywhere for that matter) and you'll come across dozens of weirdos, unattractive, insecure, picky, snobby etc. I don't thnk these traits are more common amongst people in the online dating scene... I just think they are common in general!

MudSkipper

In my experience the mix of people that you find online is very similar to the one you'd find with regular dating. It's just that you're casting a wider net than on a night out, so you will find more loons and chancers, simply because they are 'louder' online. With louder I mean they message with an i dont give a toss attitude, whereas the sane ones here are more selective who they contact.

Not getting a reply or a thanks but no thanks doesnt make whomever they've messaged a loon or a chancer, they're as sane as us, they just dont see the potential connection. And in all fairness of the many people you meet out and about, how many do you connect with?

donfers

Galvasean wrote: »

To be honest, (and I've said this before) go to any nite club in Dublin (or pretty much anywhere for that matter) and you'll come across dozens of weirdos, unattractive, insecure, picky, snobby etc. I don't thnk these traits are more common amongst people in the online dating scene... I just think they are common in general!

you're absolutely right, i am just wondering if there are slightly more nutters on the online scene

yes the vast majority of online users are no different than those who don't go online but can we rule out the possibility that some online daters are there because of serial failures in real-life relationships, be they too picky or possessive or unsociable or whatever and will they merely repeat that pattern when they "go steady" with someone from the dating site if they ever do get around to choosing/meeting someone in the first place

sorry to play devil advocates here but there seems a large proportion of people who have tried online dating for a few months here and there, given it a try, seen what it was like and moved on and I wonder why that is - any theories?