Online Dating

Galvasean

donfers wrote: »

sorry to play devil advocates here but there seems a large proportion of people who have tried online dating for a few months here and there, given it a try, seen what it was like and moved on and I wonder why that is - any theories?

I would hypothesize (not theorize as that would require me to amount more evidence and research ) that you can do a lot more 'schmoozing' in a month or so on online dating and try it on with many many more potential partners than you would in normal life. For instance in the past week I've probably approached a dozen women on online sites. No way I would try it on with that many in such a short space of time IRL.
I suppose it's easy to get jaded having been 'knocked back' so to speak by so many in such a short space of time.

edit: maybe I'm talking out of my behind, I'm just passing the time until this blasted shepperds pie finishes cooking itself.

Soul Cake Duck

Now I haven’t dipped my toe in the online dating pool yet so maybe I’m completely wrong here...I would reason that maybe the removal of face to face contact, body language and the opportunity to observe the other when in the ‘usual’ dating scene it allows for a lot more errors of judgement of a possible matches when online dating. When in physical proximity you can really tell a lot more about the person (in my opinion) than on an online dating site. What I mean is that we really every only see and hear what we want to hear but with body language and facial expressions and observing what the other person is like socially etc. our chances of interoperating the other person correctly is less than from written, email or text which would only be interoperated from what our own minds wishes it to mean.
Am I making any sense...what I mean is that without the added tools that physical proximity brings, people are maybe more likely to not in actual fact be a ‘match’...meaning more unsuccessful ventures than the ‘usual’ dating scene...that and the added catchment area of people in compared to an night out....maybe!

Galvasean

You're making plenty of sense to me Soul Cake Duck.

Guys, remember how no one was mailing me back and I couldn't understand why?
Well, aearlier today a very nice boardsie offered to view my profile and offer feedback. Based on what she saw she made some subtle change suggestions which I took heed of. Since then I have gotten loads of mail. I guess having the perspective of teh opposite sex glance over your page does a world of good.
Thanks very nice boardsie

Otis Driftwood

Ive heard that told before alright.

Ive also heard it said that you should (if possible) get someone else to pick what pictures you are going to have posted as generally when we think we look good ourselves,we dont.
:pac:

LegacyUser

How do you change privacy settings etc. on POF? I don't want users who aren't registered on the site to be able to see my profile

On OkC I was also able to prevent straight men/women from seeing my profile. Any way to do this on POF?

I know ye are probably all straight in here :P But maybe somebody knows?

Hyperbullet

Galvasean wrote: »

You're making plenty of sense to me Soul Cake Duck.

Guys, remember how no one was mailing me back and I couldn't understand why?
Well, aearlier today a very nice boardsie offered to view my profile and offer feedback. Based on what she saw she made some subtle change suggestions which I took heed of. Since then I have gotten loads of mail. I guess having the perspective of teh opposite sex glance over your page does a world of good.
Thanks very nice boardsie

That's a great idea actually.

Discodog

I don't think that there is a higher percentage of "nutters" online . But online dating gives everyone the opportunity to behave in a way, that they would not do face to face, without any consequences. Tact, discretion, empathy for one's feelings etc all influence how we interact face to face but they don't seem to matter to many online especially as they are anonymous. Online people can be totally honest & this may seem a good thing but it can be hurtful.

Denisejcc

Denisejcc wrote: »

I was just asked on a date! :eek:

Hmmm still waiting for this 'date' to happen :rolleyes: He asked what I was up to for the weekend, so wanting to sound available I said I was out one night but nothing much else on, he then proceeded to tell me what a mad busy weekend he had lined up :rolleyes:

Constant texts last night when I was out, we were both in town... more texts this morning...I dont need a text friend seriously! :mad:

Moving on.... Ive wasted enough time waiting for him to grow a pair and just set a time and place!

Vanbis

Denisejcc wrote: »

Constant texts last night when I was out, we were both in town... more texts this morning...I dont need a text friend seriously! :mad:

Moving on.... Ive wasted enough time waiting for him to grow a pair and just set a time and place!

Why don't you just ask him to meet up instead of waiting, if he comes back with a stupid excuse you'll know then if he is worth the wait

I deleted my account after a few days, just not for me.

Denisejcc

Vanbis wrote: »

Why don't you just ask him to meet up instead of waiting, if he comes back with a stupid excuse you'll know then if he is worth the wait

I deleted my account after a few days, just not for me.

Yeah I know I should just ask him but I kind of feel Ive been the one initating the texting to begin with and then when I hadnt heard from him in a while, I was the one to text. Ive told him I will meet him for a drink so he knows that,a girl likes to be asked out and not have to be the one doing the asking!:o:confused:

Vanbis

Denisejcc wrote: »

Yeah I know I should just ask him but I kind of feel Ive been the one initating the texting to begin with and then when I hadnt heard from him in a while, I was the one to text. Ive told him I will meet him for a drink so he knows that,a girl likes to be asked out and not have to be the one doing the asking!:o:confused:

Oh i agree with you, your right he should just grow a pair and ask you out. You should stop texting him for a while and see what kinda response you get after a few days. If he doesn't bother, his loss as you have already agreed to meet up him, what more does he want.

Denisejcc

Vanbis wrote: »

Oh i agree with you, your right he should just grow a pair and ask you out. You should stop texting him for a while and see what kinda response you get after a few days. If he doesn't bother, his loss as you have already agreed to meet up him, what more does he want.

Exactly what more does he want.. i cant spell it out anymore than 'yes I will meet you for a drink'

Discodog

Denisejcc wrote: »

Exactly what more does he want.. i cant spell it out anymore than 'yes I will meet you for a drink'

Are you sure that he is male ?. I have heard female friends say that yes can mean no

Vanbis

Denisejcc wrote: »

Exactly what more does he want.. i cant spell it out anymore than 'yes I will meet you for a drink'

As a male sometimes its not as obvious as you may think . If you do like him then give him more time but excuses will only go so far. Otherwise move on and get youself to the boards beers tonight

I won't be there unfortunately

Amtmann

Denise, you could text him something like: "so when were you thinking we could go for this drink? Just need to know so that I can plan my week, thanks! "

I needed to force the issue to resolution once or twice in the past, and that's sort of how I did it.

Denisejcc

Vanbis wrote: »

As a male sometimes its not as obvious as you may think . If you do like him then give him more time but excuses will only go so far. Otherwise move on and get youself to the boards beers tonight

I won't be there unfortunately

couch and a chinese for me tonight,overindulged last night

did get a snog tho;)

Vanbis

Denisejcc wrote: »

couch and a chinese for me tonight,overindulged last night

did get a snog tho;)

Sounds like you've already moved on :D

Denisejcc

Vanbis wrote: »

Sounds like you've already moved on :D

Ah well Im not sitting around depending on him for my social life, thankfully!:D

Vanbis

Denisejcc wrote: »

Ah well Im not sitting around depending on him for my social life, thankfully!:D

Haha, sounds to me like your a player :pac:

Denisejcc

Tremelo wrote: »

Denise, you could text him something like: "so when were you thinking we could go for this drink? Just need to know so that I can plan my week, thanks! "

I needed to force the issue to resolution once or twice in the past, and that's sort of how I did it.

Yeah think I will leave it for him to text next and if he does I might say that, but if he doesnt text me, I wont :rolleyes:

Denisejcc

Vanbis wrote: »

Haha, sounds to me like your a player :pac:

Ouch :mad: Im not a player,I couldnt even tell you how long its been since I had a kiss before last night

Vanbis

Denisejcc wrote: »

Ouch :mad: Im not a player,I couldnt even tell you how long its been since I had a kiss before last night

That was just a joke.

Amtmann

Denisejcc wrote: »

Yeah think I will leave it for him to text next and if he does I might say that, but if he doesnt text me, I wont :rolleyes:

I know the feeling

Denisejcc

Vanbis wrote: »

That was just a joke.

Sorry maybe Im a bit oversensitive... hangover mood and chinese hasnt been consumed yet

Denisejcc

Tremelo wrote: »

I know the feeling

They dont know what theyre mssing do they Tremelo!:D

Vanbis

Denisejcc wrote: »

Sorry maybe Im a bit oversensitive... hangover mood and chinese hasnt been consumed yet

I'm in hangover mood myself but contemplating going out again.

Denisejcc

Vanbis wrote: »

I'm in hangover mood myself but contemplating going out again.

Dont think I could go out again unless it was cinema and a few drinks but going to chill and be fresh as a daisy tomorrow

Larianne

Denisejcc wrote: »

Yeah think I will leave it for him to text next and if he does I might say that, but if he doesnt text me, I wont :rolleyes:

I've ended up in a similar situation so I kinda forgot about him as I pretty much asked him were we gonna stay penpals? Still no 2nd date so I left initiating any texts but now he's texting all the friggin time!!

Vanbis

Denisejcc wrote: »

Dont think I could go out again unless it was cinema and a few drinks but going to chill and be fresh as a daisy tomorrow

The thoughts of waking up hangover free tomorrow is tempting but after watching the Heinken cup final, i'm tempted to meet up with friends.

Good luck with your Mr. texter, maybe as suggested give him a text tomorrow and see what he says.

Denisejcc

Larianne wrote: »

I've ended up in a similar situation so I kinda forgot about him as I pretty much asked him were we gonna stay penpals? Still no 2nd date so I left initiating any texts but now he's texting all the friggin time!!

So have you gone on a second date. do you like him?