Online Dating

AnonoBoy

Does anyone on here have any worries about meeting someone on an online dating site, getting serious, letting their boards username slip and then having their new boyfriend/girlfriend scour through this thread to see what you were saying about them online?

Anyone

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Does anyone on here have any worries about meeting someone on an online dating site, getting serious, letting their boards username slip and then having their new boyfriend/girlfriend scour through this thread to see what you were saying about them online?

I don't think they even need to let their boards names slip, most people have their pics up on other threads here. Also, this being Ireland, and Boards, you can bet your arse that the communities overlap.

AnonoBoy

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Does anyone on here have any worries about meeting someone on an online dating site, getting serious, letting their boards username slip and then having their new boyfriend/girlfriend scour through this thread to see what you were saying about them online?

It's important to remember in general anyone could read back over any of your posts. The joys of this stuff being kept forever.

Sky King

Yeah I think a pretty good rule of thumb is not to say here what you wouldn't say publicly as yourself in a room full of people.

Sanjuro

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Does anyone on here have any worries about meeting someone on an online dating site, getting serious, letting their boards username slip and then having their new boyfriend/girlfriend scour through this thread to see what you were saying about them online?

This happened to me. I'd nothing to hide while I was dating the girl, but after we broke up, she started stalking my profile, and posting negative or abusive replies to stuff I'd post. Ended up creating a new profile, which is what this one is today.

stupidusername

Sanjuro wrote: »

This happened to me. I'd nothing to hide while I was dating the girl, but after we broke up, she started stalking my profile, and posting negative or abusive replies to stuff I'd post. Ended up creating a new profile, which is what this one is today.

Yeah some people go a bit crazy with abusive messages

kingtut

While people are giving out their profiles etc would any females (and not men pretending to be females - I'll be checking a few of your posts if I suspect you are a bloke) mind telling me what they think of my POF profile?

I get a reasonable amount of messages from woman however it seems to be my photos that they look at and never my profile...going by most of the questions they ask being in my profile lol.

I'll PM you my username if you wish, thanks I'm happy to do the same for any women who want a guys opinion!

kingtut

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Does anyone on here have any worries about meeting someone on an online dating site, getting serious, letting their boards username slip and then having their new boyfriend/girlfriend scour through this thread to see what you were saying about them online?

I can't say it doesn't bother me as I have nothing to hide, if I did I probably wouldn't use the internet or post photos....anyone with a stalkerish nature WILL find photos of me on here and if they lived in the same area will probably find me on a dating site (and as a result put 2 and 2 together).

In fact in the past one boardsie sent me a message on POF in the past and I recognised the photo from one I had seen here (although in her first message she asked was I kingtut from boards)

Lenmeister

I wouldn't let anyone know of my profiles on any websites. Especially 1 like this where you would post in alot of different forums on specific topics. Regardless of whether you have something to hide or not, peoples curiosity always gets the better of them. If they start browsing through the topics you visit and the posts you make, they might start making assumptions about you that aren't at all true. Furthermore, they might go a step further as to think ill of you from certain materials or comments you post. They're not the only reasons ofc.

Imo keep your online identities secret. Though I know alot would think differently from myself about it.

posy2010

careymary wrote: »

Well I just got the strangest mail on POF there, I've been mailing & chatting to this guy for a few weeks and we have arranged to meet this weekend. He seemed great, just what I was hoping for!
Last week he told me he had a daughter, thats not a problem for me &we chatted about that for a bit.
Today I checked my mail there is a mail there from him, starts well says he is really looking forward to meeting etc then the last couple of lines are something like this - Was glad my daughter didnt put you off, its hard to find someone with the maternal instinct that you get on with. If all goes well I would like us to have our own baby in the next 10-11 months, I know sometimes it can take a while but I need to be honest and say if you werent pregnant after 5months I would be calling it a day.

Now what the F*ck???? He hadnt asked me did I ever want children or anything, my profile says undecided, where did this come from!!!

Run far away and never look back. Keee---rist!

hollypink

got a message today from someone who likes good conversation, walks on the beach, snuggling by the fire, good books etc. Which sounds lovely. Except he is married. And looking for daytime liaisons. :rolleyes: Well I suppose at least he was upfront about it.

posy2010

hollypink wrote: »

got a message today from someone who likes good conversation, walks on the beach, snuggling by the fire, good books etc. Which sounds lovely. Except he is married. And looking for daytime liaisons. :rolleyes: Well I suppose at least he was upfront about it.

I was in a conversation with a guy for ages on OKC. All going well and he kept suggesting meeting during the day at lunchtime. Turns out he is living with his girlfriend. He kept changing his location around. Initially he said it was to avoid a stalkerish ex but I soon found out the truth. Poor girl!

Otis Driftwood

I often wonder,when you hear stories like the two above,how many married people (seems to be all/mostly blokes though) would go ahead with meeting someone for NSA if the other person reciprocated.

The_Morrigan

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

I often wonder,when you hear stories like the two above,how many married people (seems to be all/mostly blokes though) would go ahead with meeting someone for NSA if the other person reciprocated.

Quite a lot!

Lenmeister

Ok, a quick question.

If I setup a profile on a dating site, I generally tend to pick 1 or 2 best pictures of myself and upload them. But I fear that if someone likes the look of me in those pictures, if I met them, they might think it wasn't me in the pictures since I might not look as good IRL and that might put them off.

I feel like I should just upload a normal picture of myself. But I'm afraid that just puts alot more people off. I'm generating more chances of people being interested in me. I mean it's still me in those pictures, but would you think that a person should upload a picture of themselves as they generally look as opposed to 1 that was taken at their best? It's not like I have a huge now or something, I generally look the same, just that these pics are far better.

Yes I could upload more than 1 picture of me at my best, but some sites you can only upload 1 etc. Cheers for the input.

Otis Driftwood

Have you anyone that you can get to "screen" you pictures?

Often times when we think we look hot ourselves,we dont.

Flojo

Lenmeister wrote: »

Ok, a quick question.

If I setup a profile on a dating site, I generally tend to pick 1 or 2 best pictures of myself and upload them. But I fear that if someone likes the look of me in those pictures, if I met them, they might think it wasn't me in the pictures since I might not look as good IRL and that might put them off.

I feel like I should just upload a normal picture of myself. But I'm afraid that just puts alot more people off. I'm generating more chances of people being interested in me. I mean it's still me in those pictures, but would you think that a person should upload a picture of themselves as they generally look as opposed to 1 that was taken at their best?

Yes I could upload more than 1 picture of me at my best, but some sites you can only upload 1 etc. Cheers for the input.

I think most sites let you upload more than one at least?
Just try find a middle ground when it comes to pics. Something that doesn't make you look like you're trying too hard yet is easily recognisable in person. In fairness unless the pics are heavily photoshopped you're not going to look that much different.
What I did was upload a few joke pics where I looked awful but funny, then uploaded the decent ones. Just make sure whatever you write on your profile really gives people an insight as to who you are, that should be what reels them in imo.

posy2010

The_Morrigan wrote: »

Quite a lot!

Do you know of any girls who go along with being the other woman via online dating? Just curious. I could know some myself but I suppose they may not admit it!

The_Morrigan

posy2010 wrote: »

Do you know of any girls who go along with being the other woman via online dating? Just curious. I could know some myself but I suppose they may not admit it!

I met my ex online and I was the other woman, granted it was unknown to me for the whole relationship...and I've had a few other guys "forget" to disclose wives/partners/gf's over the years.
I also know plenty of women who have knowingly entered into liaisons with guys who have had partners.





...and before the accusations start flying about the generalisations - I'm speaking from my experience and I don't usually tend to attract married women, so I can't comment on that!

Otis Driftwood

Its one thing to be "the other person" and doing so unwittingly however imo anyone that knowingly enters into a relationship/FB type situation with someone they know for a fact is attached,well they are nearly as bad as the person in the relationship.

I guess a big problem with online dating is the more or less total anonymity afforded to anyone that wishes to remain anonymous.

posy2010

The_Morrigan wrote: »

I met my ex online and I was the other woman, granted it was unknown to me for the whole relationship...and I've had a few other guys "forget" to disclose wives/partners/gf's over the years.
I also know plenty of women who have knowingly entered into liaisons with guys who have had partners.





...and before the accusations start flying about the generalisations - I'm speaking from my experience and I don't usually tend to attract married women, so I can't comment on that!

Thanks for the honest answer

posy2010

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Its one thing to be "the other person" and doing so unwittingly however imo anyone that knowingly enters into a relationship/FB type situation with someone they know for a fact is attached,well they are nearly as bad as the person in the relationship.

I guess a big problem with online dating is the more or less total anonymity afforded to anyone that wishes to remain anonymous.

Yeah the guilt would kill me if I did it knowingly. Do unto others and all that. But not knowing the whole time with be a billion times worse.

The_Morrigan

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Its one thing to be "the other person" and doing so unwittingly however imo anyone that knowingly enters into a relationship/FB type situation with someone they know for a fact is attached,well they are nearly as bad as the person in the relationship.

I guess a big problem with online dating is the more or less total anonymity afforded to anyone that wishes to remain anonymous.

That is the unfortunate word - you can be attached but no longer in a relationship too, so people still have to be open to dealing with those who are technically married, but in the process of separating, which in Ireland takes a lifetime.

I know what you mean though, people lie and usually when it comes to their own happiness selfishness they can be a bit more desperate to seek it and will do anything for it.

Galvasean

I have the silver tongue.

I'm awesome!!!!

KyussBishop

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Its one thing to be "the other person" and doing so unwittingly however imo anyone that knowingly enters into a relationship/FB type situation with someone they know for a fact is attached,well they are nearly as bad as the person in the relationship.

I guess a big problem with online dating is the more or less total anonymity afforded to anyone that wishes to remain anonymous.

Ya absolutely, it's a horrible thing to (knowingly) do to someone, whether or not you're the partner or the other person; from what I recall in other threads before though, it's not that uncommon at all.

Maguined

Galvasean wrote: »

I have the silver tongue.

I'm awesome!!!!

Ensnared another young lass with your sultry seductive solicitations?

LegacyUser

wow....joined POF a couple weeks ago - have mailed I'd say up to 20 women I fancied and one single reply out of the lot...now I know girls are inundated with messages on these sites (esp the free ones), but MAN!

I'm a good looking guy...but wow is it hard to meet someone these days!

Actually haven't had a proper snog in the best part of two years....or a date....I go to parties, I'm out and about...have done speed dating and other dating events....two dating sites and nowt. Where's next for a guy running out of options - hook-up sites?!?!

Galvasean

Ah i'm not sure. She's a bit unsure, but seems worth the effort.

Hyperbullet

Maguined wrote: »

Ensnared another young lass with your sultry seductive solicitations?

Fantastic alliteration there man.

Also, go Galva!

Amtmann

Looks like I'm back to square one. Sniff sniff