Online Dating

Amtmann

Sanjuro wrote: »

I only send a message once. If I don't hear anything back, I'm not gonna go and send another, different message. So I dunno if my approach is wrong. What I do is read the profile, and talk about what I find interesting in it. Not essay length, of course, but I make sure to be specific. Keep it light and humourous. I treat each person as an individual. But as a group, I find that most of the messages I send will not be replied to. I'm actually quite surprised when I do hear something back!

Do you add a bit of humour, or do you keep a more straight-forward tone? I try to add humour. I get a reply to about 1 message in 4 I'd say, sometimes maybe a bit more, sometimes less. Often I get replies from girls I wouldn't really expect to hear anything back from. We're lucky to get replies at all, given the sheer volume of mails received by many women on sites such as PoF. I helped an attractive female friend put up a profile on PoF at 11am on Monday and within 2 minutes of her profile going live, she had ten messages. Mind boggling!

stupidusername

Feel bad for all the guys I never replied to now. Sorry guys! Must be hard to keep at it really.

Sanjuro

Tremelo wrote: »

Do you add a bit of humour, or do you keep a more straight-forward tone? I try to add humour. I get a reply to about 1 message in 4 I'd say, sometimes maybe a bit more, sometimes less. Often I get replies from girls I wouldn't really expect to hear anything back from. We're lucky to get replies at all, given the sheer volume of mails received by many women on sites such as PoF. I helped an attractive female friend put up a profile on PoF at 11am on Monday and within 2 minutes of her profile going live, she had ten messages. Mind boggling!

Yeah, of course I inject some humour. It's not a job I'm applying for! It's mad how fast girls get replies. I helped a friend with her profile too, and she was inundated within hours. It's a lot harder for guys, but then that's dating for you. I'm giving up soon, anyway. Give it another month and then I'm done with it.

Larianne

Can I offer some advice to those who might not be getting many replies, have a look at the photo(s) you have up.

I think it is better if you have more than one photo up for sure. I mean if you're into sailing or hill walking etc. put a picture up of you doing that. It will make you seem more genuine - not saying you're not, but all anyone has to go on is the picture you put up and the few sentences below.

Also, what I see a lot of people doing - don't put up a picture of you that you took in your bedroom/kitchen/bathroom. To me, it gives off the impression that you never leave the house!

I think someone has mentioned this before here, don't have every picture of you out on the lock. To me, this is a turn off and you just look like a písshead.

I think 3 is a nice number of photos to put up. I think photos are just as important as what you write.

This is just my own opinion on what I see. You may take it or leave it.

martineatworld

Had a good read of this thread, and I figured PoF could be a laugh so I threw up a profile there. Messaged only a few, put time and effort, painstakingly crafting each one... And only two of about seven are showing up in my sentbox...!

What's up with that!? Is there something I'm missing here?

Maguined

So we should put up a couple of photos to show our range of versatility?



I like Le Tigre, it's a slightly softer look than Blue Steel.

Pepe LeFrits

Good advice Lar. I've put up a series of photos of myself, each designed to convey a desirable aspect of my personality. In these photos I am:

- Feeding my 9 month old niece a chicken vindaloo (nurturer, foreign food appreciator)
- Putting a mangey jack russell stray I rescued in the washing machine (carer, hygenic)
- Punching a Garda and running away (protector, courageous)
- French kissing an old wan in Coppers (romantic, open minded)
- Dropping the hand on a young wan in Coppers (experienced)
- Chanting 'OOH ARE YA?' and drinking a pint at a football match (sporty, musical)
- Throwing a brick at a window at a G8 protest (passionate, opponent of oppressive global... uh... stuff.)
- Streaking down Grafton Street (free-spirit, spontaneous. Also totally chiselled.)
- Bench pressing in the gym (in case you didn't notice in the last pic)
- Doing crack (I just really like crack)

I haven't received any responses but I'm sure the girls just haven't checked their mailboxes yet this month.

The_Morrigan

Pepe LeFrits wrote: »

Good advice Lar. I've put up a series of photos of myself, each designed to convey a desirable aspect of my personality. In these photos I am:

- Feeding my 9 month old niece a chicken vindaloo (nurturer, foreign food appreciator)
- Putting a mangey jack russell stray I rescued in the washing machine (carer, hygenic)
- Punching a Garda and running away (protector, courageous)
- French kissing an old wan in Coppers (romantic, open minded)
- Dropping the hand on a young wan in Coppers (experienced)
- Chanting 'OOH ARE YA?' and drinking a pint at a football match (sporty, musical)
- Throwing a brick at a window at a G8 protest (passionate, opponent of oppressive global... uh... stuff.)
- Streaking down Grafton Street (free-spirit, spontaneous. Also totally chiselled.)
- Bench pressing in the gym (in case you didn't notice in the last pic)
- Doing crack (I just really like crack)

I haven't received any responses but I'm sure the girls just haven't checked their mailboxes yet this month.

:eek:

How are you still single man!!

Larianne

The_Morrigan wrote: »

:eek:

How are you still single man!!

I think Pepe needs to take out the football reference. Throw in a rugby one instead and he's sortid.

The_Morrigan

Larianne wrote: »

I think Pepe needs to take out the football reference. Throw in a rugby one instead and he's sortid.

Oh yeah, that would be the winner!

Galvasean

Someone mailed me on POF asking what I've been up to since Dawson's Creek ended..
Whose teh wise guy?!!?!? :mad:

Pepe LeFrits

The_Morrigan wrote: »

:eek:

How are you still single man!!

Good thinking!

I've uploaded a photo of me and the wife. It says that I'm marriage material (except not legally), that I'm clever enough to trick at least one woman, and that I'm available for no strings attached ********.

Larianne

Galvasean wrote: »

Someone mailed me on POF asking what I've been up to since Dawson's Creek ended..
Whose teh wise guy?!!?!? :mad:

In fairness, you do look an awful lot like James Van Der Beek.

(wasn't me!)

The_Morrigan

Pepe LeFrits wrote: »

Good thinking!

I've uploaded a photo of me and the wife. It says that I'm marriage material (except not legally), that I'm clever enough to trick at least one woman, and that I'm available for no strings attached ********.

Only for I've stalked you met you, I'd have asked if you were my ex after that statement!

Fittle

Back in the day when I tried internet dating (wouldn't touch it again with a bargepole:eek:), I had my profile on about 4/5 of the free websites (smooch/pof etc). On every single site, I got contacted by the same 4/5 guys, all of them with the same message, within minutes of me putting my profile up. I am convinced that they get 'alerts' when someone new joins - or that the website itself sends these messages to newbies...As a test, I deleted my original profile and created a new one - and the same 4/5 'men' would send me the same messages.

One guy in particular springs to mind. 'Hi, my name is Steve and I live by the sea with my big floppy-eared dogs, would you like to chat...'. I got this message from Steve probably everytime I was online....He had sunflowers in the background of his profile. Men like 'Steve' have put me off internet dating for life. Lads, just be honest and genuine and please DON'T call the women 'hun'........

oompaloompa

Tremelo wrote: »

Thought they were too, but she'd been very quiet of late (never good) and basically I got a fairly candid but regretful message this evening saying that because she's moving away in July (which I knew about), and because she doesn't really miss me between dates (ouch), there's "no point in getting hopes up". Says she feels bad as "I've been so good to her", yadda yadda yadda. I think she's possibly up for a casual dalliance between now and July, but I'm not really to be honest. I liked her a LOT, like really. First girl I've actually been able to like in a good while too. Ah well, must plod on. In reality, other people never get our hopes up. We do that all to ourselves.

Sorry to hear that.

My advice would be not to go for the casual dalliance, especially if you like her. It always makes it so much worse!

From reading your posts on this thread, you sound like a good guy... she's missed out

Amtmann

oompaloompa wrote: »

Sorry to hear that.

My advice would be not to go for the casual dalliance, especially if you like her. It always makes it so much worse!

From reading your posts on this thread, you sound like a good guy... she's missed out

Aww, thanks oompaloompa. Contact is cut, and I wished her well for the future. Didn't even get a reply to that! Moving on anyway

parker kent

Fittle wrote: »

Back in the day when I tried internet dating (wouldn't touch it again with a bargepole:eek:), I had my profile on about 4/5 of the free websites (smooch/pof etc). On every single site, I got contacted by the same 4/5 guys, all of them with the same message, within minutes of me putting my profile up. I am convinced that they get 'alerts' when someone new joins - or that the website itself sends these messages to newbies...As a test, I deleted my original profile and created a new one - and the same 4/5 'men' would send me the same messages.

That just shows up the small pool of people on dating sites in Ireland. After a month on it, it really becomes clear that it is the same faces online.

That was my biggest gripe with it, but by and large I would be positive about online dating. I had a good few dates, met some nice people, got some nice messages, made a new friend, have a few more funny stories to tell and it kept me occupied for a few months.

Galvasean

Fittle wrote: »

I am convinced that they get 'alerts' when someone new joins - or that the website itself sends these messages to newbies...As a test, I deleted my original profile and created a new one - and the same 4/5 'men' would send me the same messages

Most of if not all of the sites have a 'whose new' type section. I'm sure gombeens thrall them daily looking for 'fresh meat', ie: those who haven't already ignored their BS.

Fittle

Galvasean wrote: »

Most of if not all of the sites have a 'whose new' type section. I'm sure gombeens thrall them daily looking for 'fresh meat', ie: those who haven't already ignored their BS.

Oooo now that makes sense! I was convinced these guys were getting an alert - or the websites themselves were sending automated messages.

As a matter of interest, have any of the women reading this received the message from the sunflower guy?

AnnyHallsal

Re: what Fittle was saying about being bombarded by what seem generic opening messages from what seems a set pool of guys.

It's counter-productive to email a woman a few minutes (maybe hours) after she's joined a dating site. A decent guy could well get lost in the slush of "hey hon" "how u?" "hey sexy" 's.

So no more trawling new faces lists, you guys :pac:




This probably does not need saying. I apologise.

Galvasean

I'd say many girls are scared off from dating sites for good after the initial bombardment of mails.
Take my sis as an example, 16 pages worth of mail in her first day! It's slowed down to about a page a day. She must have survived the onslought so.

Maguined

Galvasean wrote: »

I'd say many girls are scared off from dating sites for good after the initial bombardment of mails.
Take my sis as an example, 16 pages worth of mail in her first day! It's slowed down to about a page a day. She must have survived the onslought so.

You have no sister, it's just you in a wig isn't it! you just wanted the attention of 16 pages worth of suitors.

Out of all the guys using online sites, how many of you have been contacted by women you were interested in rather than you contacting them out of interest?

Galvasean

Maguined wrote: »

Out of all the guys using online sites, how many of you have been contacted by women you were interested in rather than you contacting them out of interest?

A girl that I was interested in added me to her favourites as I was about to click 'send' (she told me she was about to mail me too), so i'm claiming that one :P
On the other hand, there have been a few who mailed me, whom I may not have initially noticed or been interested in, but warmed to the idea after they sent a good mail. (there you go ladies, like the look of a guy? mail him. NO excuses! :pac:)

stupidusername

well the three dates I had between POF and OKC I emailed them first. one of the guys said after a while, "I suppose it's about time I got to asking you out for a coffee." fool.

actually, feck, ok I've been asked out like twice. forgot about one, and the other was so bloody recent I forgot the first though, yer man is really nice, but I definitely don't fancy him. feel bad about forgetting about him. second one... hmm well I suppose it counts as online...

Galvasean

I'm going on a date this Sunday with a girl I met online. Plan is the zoo. Methinks the weather might spoil that tough. Hmm, note to self, dont drink too much on Saturday

stupidusername

Galvasean wrote: »

I'm going on a date this Sunday with a girl I met online. Plan is the zoo. Methinks the weather might spoil that tough. Hmm, note to self, dont drink too much on Saturday

jeez if you give out all the details, you'll have some stalkers on yer tail

Galvasean

stupidusername wrote: »

jeez if you give out all the details, you'll have some stalkers on yer tail

I've already invited a film crew along. This whole me doing online dating thing? A hook for my new documentary!

stupidusername

Galvasean wrote: »

I've already invited a film crew along. This whole me doing online dating thing? A hook for my new documentary!

lucky lucky girl she is so :rolleyes:

Galvasean

stupidusername wrote: »

lucky lucky girl she is so :rolleyes:

Of course she is. Who wouldn't enjoy having their most intimate and soul revealing moments video taped and sent out to the masses? :cool:

Oh.