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Online Dating

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    #2462
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Gillo wrote: »
    Interesting out of the people I met online, the one who I'd have said was the most attractive was by far the stroppiest one and the person I'd have got one least with. (looks & personnality, could there actally be a link??/)

    I've no doubt there is, for some. looks = a bitch? possibly.

    but if i'm not attracted to someone, well then what's the point?


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    #2463
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    I wouldn't let looks decide everything for me. I made that mistake in the past. Now I'd just prefer somebody I get on with instead. Obviously I don't mean I'd just start dating somebody I had 0% interest in physically, but I'd prefer an average girl that I really got on with as opposed to deciding based on looks.

    Not that I'm saying really attractive people aren't nice now either. I just mean that the personality would be more important. If they happen to be a stunner, then that's obviously an awesome bonus!


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    #2464
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    parker kent wrote: »
    I wouldn't let looks decide everything for me. I made that mistake in the past. Now I'd just prefer somebody I get on with instead. Obviously I don't mean I'd just start dating somebody I had 0% interest in physically, but I'd prefer an average girl that I really got on with as opposed to deciding based on looks.

    Not that I'm saying really attractive people aren't nice now either. I just mean that the personality would be more important. If they happen to be a stunner, then that's obviously an awesome bonus!

    well i'm not saying that i'll only go for guys that i think are gorgeous, I mean of course it's not important that they're 'perfect' as i've got to get on with him too.


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    #2465
    coffee_cake
    Registered Users Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    Amazing personality means they become better looking, I find


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    #2466
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    bluewolf wrote: »
    Amazing personality means they become better looking, I find

    yeah definitely. it's just if you dont fancy them in the first place....


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    #2467
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    stupidusername wrote: »
    well i mean looks wise. scrolling through and i'm like god I dont fancy any of these guys. :(

    See this is the problem with the online thing. :cool:

    I got chatting to a fella as we have the same interest. Going by his pictures he put up, I wouldn't have found him hugely attractive. But we had nice mail conversations for a while. I met up with him and he was beautiful! His photos didn't do him justice at all!!


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    #2468
    FewFew
    Registered Users Posts: 12,746 ✭✭✭✭FewFew


    bluewolf wrote: »
    Amazing personality means they become better looking, I find

    Seems to be the way of it, hard to judge someone without knowing their personality. I realized the other day that I've actually started using personality when describing attractiveness. Do believe I said someone had a "negative face"! Hah, and then trying to explain what the hell a negative face was :o


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    #2469
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    Fewcifur wrote: »
    Seems to be the way of it, hard to judge someone without knowing their personality. I realized the other day that I've actually started using personality when describing attractiveness. Do believe I said someone had a "negative face"! Hah, and then trying to explain what the hell a negative face was :o

    I think it is the opposite of something I like to see in a girl: a smiley face. Small and smiley pretty much sums up the type of girl I like!


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    #2470
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Gillo wrote: »
    (looks & personnality, could there actally be a link??/)

    Some of the best looking people I know are absolutely some of the nicest too.
    So no, no link IMO


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    #2471
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Do I have a negative face? Not smiley anyway! Cant help how I look though.have had a few strangers tell me to cheer up out of the blue so i'm guessing I look pissed off.


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    #2472
    Delirium
    Moderators Posts: 51,765 ✭✭✭✭Delirium


    stupidusername wrote: »
    Do I have a negative face? Not smiley anyway! Cant help how I look though.have had a few strangers tell me to cheer up w8ted of use a blue so i'm guessing I look pissed off.

    I just tell people it reflects on the company I'm in.

    Then I smile :pac:

    If you can read this, you're too close!



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    #2473
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    stupidusername wrote: »
    Do I have a negative face? Not smiley anyway! Cant help how I look though.have had a few strangers tell me to cheer up w8ted of use a blue so i'm guessing I look pissed off.

    I dunno about this... I used to constantly be told this and it annoyed me no end! :mad: Might sound silly, but I trained myself to look happier/smilier!

    I go back to looking píssed off/don't mess with me look when I'm walking around dodgy parts of Dublin. :)

    I understand the negative face thing. There is a girl in my class who if you saw photos of her, is a really attractive girl but she is so moody that that attractiveness fades rather quickly when you speak to her.


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    #2474
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    But i'd look like a fool if I went round smiling at nothing all day.what is one to do!


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    #2475
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    stupidusername wrote: »
    But i'd look like a fool if I went round smiling at nothing all day.what is one to do!

    If you added a twitch, no-one would bother ya! :pac: (good one to use on the bus so no-one sits next to you.)


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    #2476
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Larianne wrote: »
    If you added a twitch, no-one would bother ya! :pac: (good one to use on the bus so no-one sits next to you.)

    My pissed off face takes care of that most of the time :pac:


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    #2477
    Delirium
    Moderators Posts: 51,765 ✭✭✭✭Delirium


    stupidusername wrote: »
    But i'd look like a fool if I went round smiling at nothing all day.what is one to do!

    it doesn't have to be a chesire cat grin, stupi. Used to get a lot of the "just cheer up" comments.

    It's hard to explain but you can subtly change your face expression and it stops those comments. Did it myself and it seems to make people a lot less stand off-ish with me.

    It's like remembering a nice thing that happened. You don't have a big grin, but how people read your expression changes to, "he/she is in a happy mood".

    If you can read this, you're too close!



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    #2478
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Right to google I go to research 'how to not look like a bitch' when I get home :D


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    #2479
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    People tell me to cheer up a lot too, actually.. and never when I'm actually unhappy! :pac: Figures. I don't get it though, I can't help how my face looks in 'neutral.'


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    #2480
    KyussBishop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,797 ✭✭✭KyussBishop


    stupidusername wrote: »
    Do I have a negative face? Not smiley anyway! Cant help how I look though.have had a few strangers tell me to cheer up out of the blue so i'm guessing I look pissed off.
    I can be 'slightly' tense sometimes when out and about, so that can do unusual things to my facial expressions, that are totally not reflective of my mood; it's a bit annoying :) (though different to what you're talking about)

    It's pretty crap of some stranger to say 'cheer up' etc. to someone out of the blue like that though (never got that myself, but maybe I go around wearing too much of a 'fúck off' face to illicit it, heh), it's normal enough to just have a pretty neutral facial expression most of the time; forcing a smile often ends up looking unnatural, but some people can do it quite well.


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    #2481
    Amtmann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,093 ✭✭✭Amtmann


    Not strictly online dating, but that girl my friend wants to set me up with is too nervous to meet me outside of a "night out"-style situation. That puts me right off her. How would going out drinking in a big group in a loud pub help anything? I'd much prefer just to meet for a coffee and a chat, or even meet her in a bar. But nope, too shy. Hence my interest in her evaporates. Am I being harsh (she is 26, so I'd expect *some* confidence)?


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    #2482
    Fittle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,775 ✭✭✭Fittle


    I wouldn't rule her out Tremelo. I'm much older than her, but I can (almost) see that she is a bit threatened or uncomfortable by the 'coffee' scenario. No matter how hard we try, we are not American...I wish we were, but we're not. A date where you meet early in the day for coffee is not something that some women (in ireland) are used to...I'm not saying it's right, or wrong, but if it makes her uncomfortable, I really don't think you should rule her out completely.

    Is there a situation where you could casually meet, on a night out with mutual friends? I'm not saying that it has to be alcohol related at all, but perhaps if there were a few more around, she might be more comfortable?


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    #2483
    Amtmann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,093 ✭✭✭Amtmann


    Alcohol has a lot of people ruined. No confidence without a drink. Maybe a cinema excursion would be good...though we'd be under observation by everyone else who tags along too.


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    #2484
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Tremelo wrote: »
    Not strictly online dating, but that girl my friend wants to set me up with is too nervous to meet me outside of a "night out"-style situation. That puts me right off her. How would going out drinking in a big group in a loud pub help anything? I'd much prefer just to meet for a coffee and a chat, or even meet her in a bar. But nope, too shy. Hence my interest in her evaporates. Am I being harsh (she is 26, so I'd expect *some* confidence)?

    the first thing that struck me reading this was... hmmm, me too. the date I was meant to be having this weekend, I was nervous about cause it was a during the day date. but it's nothing to do with alcohol. for me it's the make up thing. I like to wear suncream out and about during the day, and so if you're out for a while you couldn't wear make up for having to re-apply the suncream. :o and really, I don't know that I feel that comfortable not wearing make up on a date. I never wear it during the day anyway. but generally I'm just going to work and stuff, so it doesn't really matter. i used to never wear make up, but I have become more self conscious it seems.


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    #2485
    Ectoplasm
    Registered Users Posts: 4,468 ✭✭✭Ectoplasm


    Wow...OKCupid know how to ruin your day! Got a message in my email today....

    "Happy Birthday. Still single?"

    Why yes, yes I am OKCupid, thank you for reminding me of that, today in particular. :p:D


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    #2486
    Agent Smith
    Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 21,503 Mod ✭✭✭✭Agent Smith


    EMF2010 wrote: »
    Wow...OKCupid know how to ruin your day! Got a message in my email today....

    "Happy Birthday. Still single?"

    Why yes, yes I am OKCupid, thank you for reminding me of that, today in particular. :p:D


    Well happy birthday anyway....


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    #2487
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    stupidusername wrote: »
    Do I have a negative face? Not smiley anyway! Cant help how I look though.have had a few strangers tell me to cheer up out of the blue so i'm guessing I look pissed off.
    liah wrote: »
    People tell me to cheer up a lot too, actually.. and never when I'm actually unhappy! :pac: Figures. I don't get it though, I can't help how my face looks in 'neutral.'

    I get this too.people always tell me I look pissed off, sad, annoyed, even depressed! Oddly enough people telling me makes me feel so.


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    #2488
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Galvasean wrote: »
    I get this too.people always tell me I look pissed off, sad, annoyed, even depressed! Oddly enough people telling me makes me feel so.

    yeah of course it does.

    oddly enough I had a stranger shout at me once that I needed to get a tan :confused:


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    #2489
    maxsatisfaction
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭maxsatisfaction


    Tremelo wrote: »
    Not strictly online dating, but that girl my friend wants to set me up with is too nervous to meet me outside of a "night out"-style situation. That puts me right off her. How would going out drinking in a big group in a loud pub help anything? I'd much prefer just to meet for a coffee and a chat, or even meet her in a bar. But nope, too shy. Hence my interest in her evaporates. Am I being harsh (she is 26, so I'd expect *some* confidence)?

    Little harsh perhaps, she obviously is interested, but doesn't want/like the one-on-one/direct method of meeting initially. Indirect whilst out with a group is fun, more than likely she'll agree to chat in private somewhere off to the side of the group. And besides, if you don't like each other after this, you can still go off drinking with the rest of the group ;)


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    #2490
    coffee_cake
    Registered Users Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    Tremelo wrote: »
    Not strictly online dating, but that girl my friend wants to set me up with is too nervous to meet me outside of a "night out"-style situation. That puts me right off her. How would going out drinking in a big group in a loud pub help anything? I'd much prefer just to meet for a coffee and a chat, or even meet her in a bar. But nope, too shy. Hence my interest in her evaporates. Am I being harsh (she is 26, so I'd expect *some* confidence)?
    Tremelo wrote: »
    Alcohol has a lot of people ruined. No confidence without a drink. Maybe a cinema excursion would be good...though we'd be under observation by everyone else who tags along too.

    Kinda in agreement with you Trem


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    #2491
    Amtmann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,093 ✭✭✭Amtmann


    maxsatisfaction wrote: »
    Little harsh perhaps, she obviously is interested, but doesn't want/like the one-on-one/direct method of meeting initially. Indirect whilst out with a group is fun, more than likely she'll agree to chat in private somewhere off to the side of the group. And besides, if you don't like each other after this, you can still go off drinking with the rest of the group ;)

    I don't drink though, and I avoid pubs at weekends. Have no problem sitting in a pub when it's not mobbed, but I think this has to be a Saturday night mobbed pub meetup, if it's to happen. I'd probably look very uncomfortable the whole night long :o


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