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Online Dating

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    #2642
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    I think too much emphasis is placed on how to say goodbye. In the last month or so I've been on 4 dates. Two of which I feel went well. In one we hugged and peckd on the cheek. The other wasthe infamous 'Thor kiss onthe hand' move :cool:
    Of the two dates that didn't go so well one I awkwardly shuffled away while she waited for her bus (that was the 'you can leave any time you want' girl) and the other she was nice enough to offer me a lift to my home town as it was on her way (that was the many awkward silences date).
    Not that I put much stock it. I think people over analyse it. A wave goodbye, a peck on the cheek... surely the very last moment of a date should not be the make or break point? It's like those people who time how long it takes for someone to text them and decide whether or not they're interested. It's an arbitrary thing really. don't over-analyse it. Just decide if you wnat to continue based on how you felt during the date, not if they turned away clockwise or ant-clockwise or some other supurfelous thing.


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    #2643
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    stupidusername wrote: »
    well like I said it's just a bit of a creepy way to put it. I mean you don't walk up to someone anywhere and blurt out 'wanna have sex' do you.

    You might if they were wearing a sandwich board that said, "I am looking for casual sex" on it.
    How would you go about asking someone for casual sex if they were advertising it?


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    #2644
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    stupidusername wrote: »
    well like I said it's just a bit of a creepy way to put it. I mean you don't walk up to someone anywhere and blurt out 'wanna have sex' do you.

    If you walked around telling random men that you wanted to have casual sex then yes,you would.Its the exact same thing.


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    #2645
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    stupidusername wrote: »
    well like I said it's just a bit of a creepy way to put it. I mean you don't walk up to someone anywhere and blurt out 'wanna have sex' do you.

    A lot of men will view that as an open invitation though. Look at how quickly so many men turn to sex when emailing girls who have dating, relationships etc on their page. So intimate encounters etc will be like a red rag to a bull.


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    #2646
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,642 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    Am very unsure about this online dating thing/

    A friend of mine, who has a disability, and uses a wheelchair(like I do), says that, once the ladies hear you're in a chair, they run a mile!!!!!

    :(


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    #2647
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    stupidusername wrote: »
    well like I said it's just a bit of a creepy way to put it. I mean you don't walk up to someone anywhere and blurt out 'wanna have sex' do you.

    I don't, no, as I've no interest in it. :P

    But you said you've listed casual sex and then you find it weird when it comes to someone messaging you about it. I find that to be rather confusing.


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    #2648
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    Am very unsure about this online dating thing/

    A friend of mine, who has a disability, and uses a wheelchair(like I do), says that, once the ladies hear you're in a chair, they run a mile!!!!!

    :(

    What I would say is just be upfront in your profile(if you havnt as it is of course
    ),at least that way you will know the replies or messages are genuine and there is no confusion.


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    #2649
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    Am very unsure about this online dating thing/

    A friend of mine, who has a disability, and uses a wheelchair(like I do), says that, once the ladies hear you're in a chair, they run a mile!!!!!

    :(

    Like Otis said, just be up front about it in your profile and there is nothing to worry about.


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    #2650
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,642 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    Otis Driftwood wrote: »
    What I would say is just be upfront in your profile(if you havnt as it is of course
    ),at least that way you will know the replies or messages are genuine and there is no confusion.

    which are the best online dating sites to join then? Ones that don't send you loads and loads of spam emails


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    #2651
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    which are the best online dating sites to join then?

    From my experience plentyoffish seems to be the best overall. While it lacks many of the features which make okcupid an excellent site, it has much more people on it which is probably the most important thing. i like okcupid as a site but the pool of people is very small.
    Connectingsingles is quite poor - relatively small pool of people, lacking good features.
    Smooch is awful. Just plain awful!


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    #2652
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    right guys I get it, clearly I'm wrong. the way I see it is if I have what I had before, short term dating long term dating or whatever, I dont expect someone to message me saying 'do you want to go out', i mean social etiquette, as little as I know about it, determines you generally just blurt things out. but sure let's just never mind that, i'm just wrong.


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    #2653
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,642 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    Jaysus

    I'm signing up to POF now and there are questions on the profile page that I havent got a bloody clue how to answer - stuff like, height, weight etc.

    :confused:

    Can anyone help? PM me.


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    #2654
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    stupidusername wrote: »
    right guys I get it, clearly I'm wrong. the way I see it is if I have what I had before, short term dating long term dating or whatever, I dont expect someone to message me saying 'do you want to go out', i mean social etiquette, as little as I know about it, determines you generally just blurt things out. but sure let's just never mind that, i'm just wrong.

    The way I see it is if you're looking for dating / relationships the idea is that you want to get to know this person better. But with casual sex you aren't looking to get to know someone better. You don't need stuff in common. You just need to find them physically attractive enough to want to have sex with them, so no need to get to know them better.
    Is that a fair deduction?


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    #2655
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Galvasean wrote: »
    I think too much emphasis is placed on how to say goodbye. In the last month or so I've been on 4 dates. Two of which I feel went well. In one we hugged and peckd on the cheek. The other wasthe infamous 'Thor kiss onthe hand' move :cool:
    Of the two dates that didn't go so well one I awkwardly shuffled away while she waited for her bus (that was the 'you can leave any time you want' girl) and the other she was nice enough to offer me a lift to my home town as it was on her way (that was the many awkward silences date).
    Not that I put much stock it. I think people over analyse it. A wave goodbye, a peck on the cheek... surely the very last moment of a date should not be the make or break point? It's like those people who time how long it takes for someone to text them and decide whether or not they're interested. It's an arbitrary thing really. don't over-analyse it. Just decide if you wnat to continue based on how you felt during the date, not if they turned away clockwise or ant-clockwise or some other supurfelous thing.

    I just hate the awkwardness at the end.

    I know what you're saying though. :)


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    #2656
    Gillo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,566 ✭✭✭Gillo


    Larianne wrote: »
    I just hate the awkwardness at the end.
    Nearly worse than the nerves at the start!


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    #2657
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    Jaysus

    I'm signing up to POF now and there are questions on the profile page that I havent got a bloody clue how to answer - stuff like, height, weight etc.

    :confused:

    Can anyone help? PM me.

    Just make a good estimate, all you can do if you can't / don't want to weight yourself or measure your height. what other things are there?
    Galvasean wrote: »
    The way I see it is if you're looking for dating / relationships the idea is that you want to get to know this person better. But with casual sex you aren't looking to get to know someone better. You don't need stuff in common. You just need to find them physically attractive enough to want to have sex with them, so no need to get to know them better.
    Is that a fair deduction?

    It's a reasonable deduction. though if i'm going to have casual sex with someone I need to have established some sort of relationship with them, even if it is only having met them once, or chatted briefly. hence why I think jumping in there with 'wanna have some fun' doesn't appeal to me. just my opinion it seems though. ah well.


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    #2658
    The_Morrigan
    Moderators Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    stupidusername wrote: »
    right guys I get it, clearly I'm wrong. the way I see it is if I have what I had before, short term dating long term dating or whatever, I dont expect someone to message me saying 'do you want to go out', i mean social etiquette, as little as I know about it, determines you generally just blurt things out. but sure let's just never mind that, i'm just wrong.

    Yup ya are!
    Calling a spade a spade here - you'd said you want sex on your profile, they don't have to flirt with you, impress you, treat you like a princess etc etc, they are going to bluntly ask to hook up without all the frills.

    Seriously, you can't ask for something and then complain when you get it


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    #2659
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Gillo wrote: »
    Nearly worse than the nerves at the start!

    It's worse! Definitely worse.


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    #2660
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Gillo wrote: »
    Nearly worse than the nerves at the start!

    yeah but nerves are good sometimes! :)


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    #2661
    Maguined
    Registered Users Posts: 8,247 ✭✭✭Maguined


    The_Morrigan wrote: »
    Yup ya are!
    Seriously, you can't ask for something and then complain when you get it

    I thought all women reserved that right? :pac:


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    #2662
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,642 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    Jaysus

    I'm signing up to POF now and there are questions on the profile page that I havent got a bloody clue how to answer - stuff like, height, weight etc.

    :confused:

    Can anyone help? PM me.


    Anyone?


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    #2663
    The_Morrigan
    Moderators Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    Maguined wrote: »
    I thought all women reserved that right? :pac:


    Only sometimes Mags ;)


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    #2664
    Maguined
    Registered Users Posts: 8,247 ✭✭✭Maguined


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    Anyone?

    What sort of help do you need with your height and weight?


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    #2665
    KyussBishop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,797 ✭✭✭KyussBishop


    Ya in fairness, it does seem a bit harsh to equate 'casual sex' on a dating website, to stating that in real life, and saying to expect those kind of replies (I may be overinterpreting, but it almost sounds like a judgement, when there's nothing wrong with it).

    I know realistically it's going to attract a lot of unwanted negative attention anyway, but I think it's all to do with how you state it in the profile.
    Galvasean wrote: »
    The way I see it is if you're looking for dating / relationships the idea is that you want to get to know this person better. But with casual sex you aren't looking to get to know someone better. You don't need stuff in common. You just need to find them physically attractive enough to want to have sex with them, so no need to get to know them better.
    Is that a fair deduction?
    Ya fair assumption, but I've seen a couple profiles before looking for casual sex and usually they want to get to know the other person a little bit; stating that in the profile would probably minimize the negative replies.


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    #2666
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,642 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    Maguined wrote: »
    What sort of help do you need with your height and weight?

    How did you guess??? :D

    1. I have no clue what height i am.
    2. Same goes for this.


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    #2667
    Sky King
    Registered Users Posts: 4,431 ✭✭✭Sky King


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    Anyone?

    Look at what other people do. Or look at girls profiles you like and see what they did that appeals to you, and emulate...

    If your height and weight are an advantage (tall / slim) say so as they're assets, if not, say so euphemistically...

    Or give you height in Metres and your mass in Newtons. It will be totally worth it for the 1% who find it funny.


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    #2668
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    How did you guess??? :D

    1. I have no clue what height i am.
    2. Same goes for this.

    I'm not really sure how we are meant to know...


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    #2669
    Gillo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,566 ✭✭✭Gillo


    Larianne wrote: »
    It's worse! Definitely worse.

    Gonna disagree with you there, at least at the end you have a much better idea of whether or not you like the person and hopefully have an idea of how they feel also. I think the best option is go for a peck on the cheek unless there are serious sparks, that way hopefully worst case you won't cause too much offence and hey if they are interested too you've opened the gate from them to make the next move.


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    #2670
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,642 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    kilkenny flyer wrote: »
    Look at what other people do. Or look at girls profiles you like and see what they did that appeals to you, and emulate...

    If your height and weight are an advantage (tall / slim) say so as they're assets, if not, say so euphemistically...

    Or give you height in Metres and your mass in Newtons. It will be totally worth it for the 1% who find it funny.

    LOL. I'm lost here.


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    #2671
    Sky King
    Registered Users Posts: 4,431 ✭✭✭Sky King


    He seeks advise as to how to measure said parameters? Or original ways of writing:

    Height - average
    Weight - Normal


This discussion has been closed.
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