The perfect pub

OldGoat

Everyone wants something different from a pub. Actually, everyone wants something different from a pub at different times. The perfect pub needs to be continually evolving to suit your requirements. However, right at this point in my life I thing the perfect pub should be:
Quiet - A pub is for talking in, not shouting over the dance music or Sky news played at an earbleeding volume.
Made of wood - Wooden counter top, wooden floors, wooden tables and wooden chairs. Wood absorbs beer and atmosphere in equal measure. Glass chrome and marble are simply too cold (architecturally).
Must have a fireplace - For those knee-seeringly hot blazes mid winter.
No TV - I know this one will be disputed and loads of you (myself included) love to watch the rugby, golf, motor racing or some kind of kick the ball game occasionally BUT NOT ALL THE TIME!
A collection of newspapers available for browsing.
Beer-mats supplied with your pint.
Ashtrays - Ashtrays were not just for smokers, they were receptacles for ripped up beer-mats, unwanted ice, skangy crisps that you were just too scared to eat, bits of gristle from your sandwich.
Sandwiches - Decent wholesome cheese and ham stuffed sandwiches, fresh and filling. Keep the avocado salad and prawns for a proper eatery the pub sandwich is about filling your belly with ballast and soakage.
Women are welcome in my Perfect Pub, just not allowed to be any louder then the loudest snap of a domino tile on the table. That goes for youth too.
A decent selection of drinks. When I want gin I want a choice of gins. When I want rum I want a choice or rums. Having 6 optics behind the bar and 5 of them being the same brand of vodka is just wrong.
The pub should be about a mile and a half away from the house. They you can work up a nice thirst on your stroll to the pub and not feel too guilty about getting a taxi home.
The pub should support local events but never ever allow money collectors in. Same goes for rose sellers and wandering minstrels.
An occasional impromptu live music session is welcome. Organised diddlydi ballad nights are the work of the devil himself.
Smelly snack-foods should be outlawed. The only acceptable snack food is salted peanuts, cheese&onion Tayto and the olive in my martini. (I might make an exception for pickled eggs)
A proper smoking area. The cigar garden should be warm and dry in the winter, cool and airy in the summer, have tables and chairs and should NOT be the beer barrel store yard. Smoking areas are in a very sad state of affairs in general.
A taxi rank outside.
Downhill on the way there and uphill on the way home...Well, I can dream.
The pub should have many small snugs and sectioned off areas to allow for privacy/seclusion and general 'get out of the way'ishness. If a bunch of lads want to discuss the latest purchase of an association football player by their favourite team then let them but don't expect me to listen to them argue. Put up a wood partition that I can escape behind.
Some pubs exist that meet my some of me wants. If I could take elements of Harry Byrnes, Mulligans, The Longstone, the Yellow House and half a dozen other from around the country I'd be a blissfully happy customer.

Would your perfect pub be as old fashioned? Would you rather have a heaving shoulder to shoulder hyper excited crowd yelling over the music at each other? Or perhaps a pub with a stage in one end for live music? Or a TV filled edifice with a different horse-race on each screen? Perhaps the pub of your dreams come complete with polished chrome poles and girls to dance from them.
What, gentlemen, is your perfect pub to be like? What does the perfect pub need?
I'm sure there is a 'Sims Pub' game in the making here.

Snowie

Honestly if i was gonna own a pub it would be a pretty messy place to be id expect water a very loose atmosfear lots of partying my staff would be allowed to drink because in my opinion a drunk bar person creates more of an atmosfear, ...
Id like live band playing ska, to rock... id have stupid cheasy tacky theme nights and genrally make it into a place were if you want to come for a good time well thats the place to be....

But I'd also have a quiet room with comfy sofas that was'nt conected to the wild room Bye any means compleetly different area relaxed warm enviroment were people can come and chill out... with a selection of relaxing music for all types.. and more so comfortable seats to plunk one arse on... Smoking area would be devied carfully into quite and wild...

The wild room would have would because being honest things would get messy intialay aint no point having lavish luxerey when people are dancing on tables and getting there rocks of is there


basicaly im chalk and chease madness and relaxedness... I did at one stage wok ina wild bar best time of my life people like to have a good time give it to them:D

Pherekydes

Quiet!

That is all!

cson

My perfect pub is really mood dependent tbh; there are times when there nothing more I love than sitting in an establishment bedecked with posters and trinkets of years gone by with just a pint of guinness and a friend to chat with.

There's other times when I'd like my pub to be close to jammed but comfortable with some tunes banging out on a top quality sound system while I'm having a bottle of Heineken.

All depends really

JajaD

Yeah i agree with the tv thing.. although for major matches pubs really need to have them for business.. Other than that they should be turned off!

Are there any cosy, quiet (but not too quiet) pubs in Dublin city centre.
When i like to go out with my boyfriend, it seems all our options are made up of loud pubs and clubs full of people on the pull I have already pulled, i dont wanna sit and listen to loud music and watching people trying to pull

I wanna sit and TALK to my boyfriend, not roar over the music and come home hoarse :P

Anywhere nice and cosy in town? I know whelans can be nice early but somewhere on the weekend?

ANXIOUS

You all make very good points, my perfect pub.

1. Quiet easy to think
2. Board games dominos, scrabble and checkers.
3. No alco-pops encourage wrong sort of crowd.
4. Bar staff allowed to drink.
5. Price pint of guiness no more than €4.40 cider €4.65 vodka whiskey €4.00
6. Free drink for musicans in the evening.
7. Open heart fire.
8. Toilets spotless and smelling of bleach.
9. One tv showing only sport or news.
10. Food salad sandwichs or soup.
11. Newspapers and mags (time nationl geographic etc)
12. Accompained women allowed in the lounge.
13. Gatherings only allowed for regulars and their family.
14. Give credit to long standing customers if they are caught short.
15. Christmas drink for every €75 spent = one free drink.

More to follow

Mackman

Mine would be quite similar to yours Old Goat:
-Quiet, but with background music. Rock music, of the classic variety mostly.
-Timber bar/stools/tables with the cosy corners that Old Goat was talking about.
-Low ceilings
-Various memorabelia scattered around the walls/behind the bar
-Big selection of beers, id like to have a choice when i walk in
-A free jukebox with a huge selection of only decent music. i.e. no pop, rap, dance, r n'b.
-Live bands every now and then, (not every night). Fun bands, i dont want to go to a pub for a drink and be depressed by the music.
-Has to have a fireplace, always roaring in winter.
-No tv's. Maybe a projector screen for all ireland finals, six nations games. thats it though,
-on second thought, no tv's at all. too much danger of soccer being shown.
-Clean toilets!
-A decent beer garden, heated in winter, with music. too many beer gardens neglect the music. why? Also a bar in the beer garden.
-Barstaff that are friendly, and competent.
-No dirty old men, i want my GF to be able to come in and enjoy a drink withough being leered at

OldGoat

Mackman wrote: »

-No dirty old men, i want my GF to be able to come in and enjoy a drink withough being leered at

You just barred me.

Mackman

OldGoat wrote: »

You just barred me.

damn right, we've been getting complaints about you all night!

jester77

ANXIOUS wrote: »

5. Price pint of guiness no more than €4.40 cider €4.65 vodka whiskey €4.00
More to follow

€4.40 for a Guinness :eek: is it really that expensive back in Ireland? My local Irish pub here sells me a pint for €3.60 and Irish bars abroad are known for being expensive!

I like a nice quiet cosy bar, friendly staff & good service. After that I am not too concerned. Some of the bars here have excellent service, my particular favourite from 1 bar is that they will keep bringing you drink the whole night until you put your beermat over your pint glass to indicate that you are finished. Simple but fantastic, no queuing at the bar and you always have a pint in front of you.

CJC86

jester77 wrote: »

Irish bars abroad are known for being expensive!

That's just so you can get the genuine Irish experience!

djimi

No music, or at least music only played at a low level. I go to a pub to chat to my mates; if I want to be blasted out of it by loud music then Id go to a club/gig. Its getting harder to find a pub that doesnt have music blaring on a Friday or Saturday night.

On a busy night (Friday/Saturday) nobody should be allowed to sit at the bar. My local annoys me no end when its busy as you are trying to get served and have to shout across the idiots sitting at the bar.

Also my perfect pub would know when enough people are in the place and stop people from entering. I hate having to force my way thru a massive crowd to get to the bar/jacks. Aside from the safety aspect, its very uncomfortable to be in an overcrowded pub.

djimi

Mackman wrote: »

Mine would be quite similar to yours Old Goat:
-Quiet, but with background music. Rock music, of the classic variety mostly.
-Timber bar/stools/tables with the cosy corners that Old Goat was talking about.
-Low ceilings
-Various memorabelia scattered around the walls/behind the bar
-Big selection of beers, id like to have a choice when i walk in
-A free jukebox with a huge selection of only decent music. i.e. no pop, rap, dance, r n'b.
-Live bands every now and then, (not every night). Fun bands, i dont want to go to a pub for a drink and be depressed by the music.
-Has to have a fireplace, always roaring in winter.
-No tv's. Maybe a projector screen for all ireland finals, six nations games. thats it though,
-on second thought, no tv's at all. too much danger of soccer being shown.
-Clean toilets!
-A decent beer garden, heated in winter, with music. too many beer gardens neglect the music. why? Also a bar in the beer garden.
-Barstaff that are friendly, and competent.
-No dirty old men, i want my GF to be able to come in and enjoy a drink withough being leered at

Yes, absolutely, forgot that one! Thing I love about the place I drink in is that no matter how busy it gets the toilets are always clean. I actually avoid some pubs because of the state of their jacks. Nothing worse than standing in a pool of someone elses wee...

highlydebased

My one pet hate are pubs that try to be nightclubs- a few of them in Limerick. They are dark inside- why! Its a pub!

myflipflops

OldGoat wrote: »

Would your perfect pub be as old fashioned? .

Yes. Even as a young man of 26, your pub sounds borderline perfect. The closest I've found to it would probabably be O'Dwyers pub in Waterville in Kerry.

I will offer one addition (which O'Dwyers offer) - home made soup with home made brown bread. This is preferably ordered and eaten early on a Sunday within the first 1/2 pints.

myflipflops

djimi wrote: »

On a busy night (Friday/Saturday) nobody should be allowed to sit at the bar. My local annoys me no end when its busy as you are trying to get served and have to shout across the idiots sitting at the bar.

Disagree. I like sitting at high stools when drinking with just 1/2 other people. I find it more comfortable and results in a seamless flow of pints in a busy pub, especially in your local with a barman who knows you.

I do think there should be areas with no stools which are kept free for people coming up to queue though. Let your crabby regulars (me) take the high stools but leave space for the extra customers.

TanG411

I think it's safe to say that a quiet pub is the best way to go. And like most posts, I'd have a low volume jukebox playing, with 80's power ballads and some classic rock.

I would want an entertainment area. One room would consist of three dartboards, with a surround and mat for the professional look, two pool tables with adequate distance between them. Perhaps a poker table, but it would be for regulars only.

Khannie

OldGoat wrote: »

Would your perfect pub be as old fashioned?

You very nearly described my favourite pub.

http://www.nealons.ie/

OldGoat

tGC Beers in Nealons so.

scientific1982

Quite, no scumbags and good pints. That is all.

Odats

Same as old goat wooden definitely the way in decor but with the snugs plenty of leg room and proper upholstery not fag burned, torn etc.
Selection of broadsheet newspapers (no Sun,Star etc) exception the Racing post for the lads who like a flutter and the Financial Times (love reading it every week just to know what's going on).
Mix of characters who drink there.
Salt n Vinegar Tayto's added to the crisp selection, selection of beers, spirits etc.
Soup and sandwiches and home made breads as lunchtime options only.
Goujons,cocktail sausages, sambos, ribs, crubeens, colcannon as an occasional treat in the evenings.
Under €4 for a pint of Guiness and around €4.20 for lagers, spirits etc, no alchopops as previously mentioned.
Decent soundsystem, jukebox banging out the best of Johnny Cash, country music, decent rock Rolling Stones etc no RnB, Jedward.

cc87

The pub i work in its 3.85 for guinness and 4 quid for lager........yet we still get complaints about being expensive.

When it comes to price, there will always be someone to complain.

cc87

A pub with good pints would put it ahead of most places these days. Getting harder and harder to find good pints, whether it be stout or lager.

ANXIOUS

jester77 wrote: »

€4.40 for a Guinness :eek: is it really that expensive back in Ireland? My local Irish pub here sells me a pint for €3.60 and Irish bars abroad are known for being expensive!

I like a nice quiet cosy bar, friendly staff & good service. After that I am not too concerned. Some of the bars here have excellent service, my particular favourite from 1 bar is that they will keep bringing you drink the whole night until you put your beermat over your pint glass to indicate that you are finished. Simple but fantastic, no queuing at the bar and you always have a pint in front of you.

Nah, youd get it cheaper in 90% of places. But i like to make money so thats why my pub is more

finbarrk

€3.60 for Guinness. Ashtrays out after 12.30. Typical country pub in the west. Just after leaving it now.

bigbadbear

Please tell me this is a marketing campaign for a new pub in the Raheny Area!! please?? Although I'm pretty sure you just described the Cedars pub in your OP.

The only addition i'd have is an upstairs area so we could have TVs for football games or our ballad night if that's the mood your in.

I'm only 21 and I'd probably love the downstairs part as my favourite hideout anyday!! Seriosly though, OP you would love the Cedars.

OldGoat

Too much upholstry in the Ceders. I've never really taken to it as a local though it's a nice enough place tbh. Have a preference for Harry Byrnes.:)


Lots of people saying there should be music/jukeboxes etc in the pub. The ONLY concession I'll allow is a radio - a small tinny transister radio behind the bar tuned to Lyric FM - and occasionally 'The Archers' on BBC Radio 4.

fionav3

OldGoat wrote: »

Would your perfect pub be as old fashioned?

Actually, yes it would! You pretty much describe my perfect pub but could I just add in;

Clean, reasonable sized bathrooms (not some dank 'you-won't-fit-if-you're not-five-foot' hovel like the bathrooms in Mickey D's in Limerick *shudder*).

Friendly barstaff who are actually cheery about serving you. Yes, we all have off days when we don't feel like smiling but anyone ever been to a pup where the staff give you a sour look as soon as you come through the door? Or the pub where you get an irritable look when you walk up to the bar to order your drink and interupt the barstaff's conversation? Exactly. :cool:

Finally, a decent selection of wine, not just one type of red and one type of white (usually Blossim Hill or Jacob's Creek. Bleurrrrgh!).

However, that's my perfect pub but if you ask me what my perfect bar is, then you're talking a whole different ball game!

djimi

myflipflops wrote: »

Disagree. I like sitting at high stools when drinking with just 1/2 other people. I find it more comfortable and results in a seamless flow of pints in a busy pub, especially in your local with a barman who knows you.

I do think there should be areas with no stools which are kept free for people coming up to queue though. Let your crabby regulars (me) take the high stools but leave space for the extra customers.

Im sure you do, but its incredibly annoying for the other punters who are trying to get to the bar and have to shout past you! :rolleyes:

W123-80's

Great thread!

Old Goats is pretty much bang on the money.

I would however include a small tv (21") for for All-Irelands, Rugby, racing, Golf and shock horror... Soccer!!

I would also include red top papers in my selection of reading material along with The Guardian, Times etc.
My Dad is No.1 customer for the daily star and also great company, would hate to think chaps like that were ostracised from my pub 'coz we prefer our clientel to be Guardian readers..!!

3hn2givr7mx1sc

My percet pub would be quiet, I can't stand having to shout in pubs, I'm an auld coot under it all.:P

A wonderful selection of ciders, whiskeys, lagers and spirits, maybe let them have Smirnoff Ice.
Wooden floors, wooden counter, wooden tables and stools, lots of stools.
Drinking barstaff who are a bit of craic.
A jukebox that doesn't play dance. Preferably a few ballad tunes(Wolfe Tones and the likes), Johnny Cash and if I'm in the mood, The Killers, Kings of Leon etc.
A big telly that is only allowed to have the volume up if there's a match on, be that socccer, football, hurling, rugby, darts, boxing..
Dartboards and a pool table or two.
A nice sized smoking area with seats.
No tracksuits allowed(I wear tracksuits, but if you wear them to a pub you can feck off), unless it's the local GAA team coming home from an away match.
A lovely chipper beside it, and you are allowed to bring your chips into the pub.