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"At Least You Are Honest"

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  • 12-08-2010 2:23am
    #1
    Dr. Baltar
    Registered Users Posts: 1,252 ✭✭✭


    Talking tonight with a few (straight) friends...

    The usual joking comments "can you pass me a sausage?"... "I bet you LOVE the sausage!" which is always good and laughable and good craic...

    When someone newer to the group asks "are you bi?" to which I say 'yes' and this is followed by a "at least you're honest" followed by quietness.

    Firstly, I care little what this person thinks of me, but this is the first person who is a 'friend of a friend' that I've told and hence the wider group.... of my sexuality and I just want feedback of whether "at least you're honest" is good or bad?

    I'm drunk now, yes... they were drunk then yes... I will check this thread tomorrw and see what the story is... thanks in advance

    DB


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    #2
    Dark Artist
    Registered Users Posts: 387 ✭✭Dark Artist


    Your care-o-meter shouldn't be too high there. If this person was decent enough to you apart from that one comment, you shouldn't really read any more into it, it was probably just a gap filler.

    If they meant it in a nasty way it could mean that it was obvious to them before they asked you, but I really doubt they meant it like that.


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    #3
    Dr. Baltar
    Registered Users Posts: 1,252 ✭✭✭Dr. Baltar


    Dark Artist wrote: »
    Your care-o-meter shouldn't be too high there. If this person was decent enough to you apart from that one comment, you shouldn't really read any more into it, it was probably just a gap filler.

    If they meant it in a nasty way it could mean that it was obvious to them before they asked you, but I really doubt they meant it like that.

    Oh of course, it's just that the comment was so... well... neutral I guess?

    See, I expect a lot of responses such as "care not.. it's someone you don't care about" - but at the end of the day, this is my first dive into wider society as being not straight.

    This is me telling someone who is not a friend that I am not straight. This could be me walking down the street tomorrow only to see random stranger x who happens to say "there he is now"... gah... perhaps I'm reading too much into this.


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    #4
    rainbow kirby
    Registered Users Posts: 26,928 ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    What sort of reaction were you expecting from him?

    Tbh I would prefer that sort of reaction, the "Ah, right so", type - it just shows that it's not a big deal to them. Which it really shouldn't be.


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    #5
    azezil
    Registered Users Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil


    The reply wouldn't bother me, I'd probably reply in a sarcastic tone with "oh I'm always honest" and wink.

    I always reply in a sarcastic tone even when I'm being honest :(


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    #6
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Dr. Baltar wrote: »
    I just want feedback of whether "at least you're honest" is good or bad?

    Does it really matter?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #7
    Chuchoter
    Registered Users Posts: 4,305 ✭✭✭Chuchoter


    Thats the reaction I'd prefer to be honest.


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    #8
    AvaKinder
    Registered Users Posts: 271 ✭✭AvaKinder


    I'm not sure how I'd take that either, but at least it's better than a greedy or indecisive joke right? That's what I usually get.


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    #9
    Dwn Wth Vwls
    Registered Users Posts: 401 ✭✭Dwn Wth Vwls


    They could have been referencing some personal experience they had that you don't know about. Either ask them what they meant, or just forget about it. No point dwelling on a random comment, especially from someone drunk.


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    #10
    MicraBoy
    Registered Users Posts: 916 ✭✭✭MicraBoy


    Yeah sounds more like they were having a dig at someone else.


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    #11
    wonderfulname
    Registered Users Posts: 3,943 ✭✭✭wonderfulname


    Could indeed be a dig at someone else, or just someone whos never been around anyone who isn't straight and needs a little while to acclimatise, at any rate I wouldn't think too much of it and I doubt you'll have any issues with him in future.


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    #12
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Take it as a compliment. An ex of mine (who is now married with kids) turned out to be cheating with men behind my back (I'm female) I was devastated when I discovered it, I couldn't and still can't, understand WHY, why did he waste my time when he was obviously gay? why all the lies and deceit? when I discovered what he was at, which included putting my health at risk, he immediately threatened me if I told anyone and that was it - total end of communication, no apology, no explanation. It is so so hard to trust after that kind of deceit, it also wiped out every memory of the relationship as the whole thing was lies, it was/is very hard to recover from. Like I say this guy is married now with kids - presume the wife knows nothing of this. So whilst before that experience I had no thoughts on whether someone was gay or not I now have admiration for people who admit they are and do not rob other people of their lives or years of it because they are not 'strong enough' to be honest with themselves and others. So, if someone makes a remark like that to you it is acknowledging your honesty and perhaps stems from being deceived by someone else.


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