Exclusive Bottle Feeding

janmc

I've only breast-fed my baby, but the advantages I can see to bottle feeding as a result:
1. Sharing the load between parents. Taking turns for night-feeds etc.
2. Bonding for father & baby - if a father is working long hours and doesn't get to spend much time with the baby, I can certainly see how being able to feed the baby would help.
3. Freedom for the mother to be away for more than 3 hours in the first 4 weeks. Yes you can express, but in the early weeks it's not really feasible for most.
4. Reassurance. If a baby is not thriving, it is a lot easier to monitor their intake of formula because it is easily quantifiable.
5. Mental health issues. I am not a medical professional, but I really imagine that the added pressure of breast feeding stresses could contribute to post-natal depression.

I was lucky that we picked up breast-feeding ok after a difficult first week and thankfully it's going great, but I can see the other side of the fence now too.

Chuchu

What a nice reply Janmc... and as a bottlefeeder I too can see the convenience of breastfeeding... not having that steriliser on the kitchen counter, and the joys of not having those 'doh' moments, when I realise I packed up the baby bag, and put everything in there bar the bottle !! DOH!

Penny Dreadful

bourgie wrote: »

I have started and stopped and deleted replies to this so many times. Why? Because no matter what I say, as someone who is very much pro breastfeeding because of the health benefits and wishes more women would at least try it, it seems like I will insult someone or make someone feel guilty and that is genuinely not my intent.

50% of Irish mothers don't even try to initiate breastfeeding. That is a public health problem and it is not something that health professionals can write off as simply a choice that as a society we can be happy to just roll with. The health implications are too big - and despite what some posters claim, many women don't know the health benefits. Just reading many bf threads shows this. I don't know what % of those women have already tried and not been happy with their previous experiences, but compared with international figures, 50% not even initiating is a really high number. What is going on?

The question as to why so many Irish mothers choose not to try to breastfeed is a really important one. Lack of support has to be a big reason - I have been astounded by the rubbish advice given to friends by GPS and PHNs, it really is disgraceful, but there is a lot more to it than that and to improve rates it is really important that we try to have honest discussions about why women don't want to try.

I don't see how it is a public health problem. My mother bottle fed all 5 of us and we are all fine fit and healthy adults who are rarely sick. Both of my sisters breastfed their babies and out of the 6 nieces and nephews I have, 3 are asthmatics, 2 have eczema (and are 2 of the 3 asthmatics). Breast feeding has done nothing to eliminate that for them. On the other hand, myself and my siblings, all of whom were breastfed have none of those ailments.

How to feed your child is a choice for the parents to make. Yes, each and every child needs to be properly cared for and given the necessary nutrients etc but bottle fed children are not given a poorer start in life.

Penny Dreadful

deemark wrote: »

For the baby it is .

Ayla, in answer to your question. I think it is a social thing. Breastfeeding is not the norm in this country, which considering it's the biological norm is mad. Many people have never seen a woman breastfeed and it can make a breastfeeding woman feel like a freak, not because it's unnatural, but because of society's perception.

I'm breastfeeding my 3 month old and when out shopping yesterday, took the little fella back to the car to feed him as I couldn't face going into a café on my own. If I had company, I may have been braver. My brothers leave the room when I feed, a neighbour took her child out of the room the other day! It's things like this that really put women off.

That's my two cent anyway.

I've seen both of my sisters breastfeed their babies. I see breastfeeding as perfectly natural and normal. I also see a woman choosing to bottle feed her baby as perfectly natural and normal too.

CK2010

the whole seeing a mother breastfeeding thing is an entirely different kettle of fish though. many people have different opinions on breastfeeding in public regardless of how they feel about breastfeeding in general. i know i for one think it should be done in private, unless its not possible obviously. many breastfeeding mothers look down on me for having this view, especially as i was a bottle feeder so i "wouldnt know" :rolleyes:

i think knowing its good for baby and whatnot is entirely different to finding a mother doing it in front of you a bit off putting. its like changing nappies, you know it needs to be done but you'd prefer if it was done away from you! i dont think breastfeeding mothers should be offended by the fact that others dont find it as 'natural' or whatever as they do. some people just arent comfortable around it.

crazy cat lady

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

I don't see how it is a public health problem. My mother bottle fed all 5 of us and we are all fine fit and healthy adults who are rarely sick. Both of my sisters breastfed their babies and out of the 6 nieces and nephews I have, 3 are asthmatics, 2 have eczema (and are 2 of the 3 asthmatics). Breast feeding has done nothing to eliminate that for them. On the other hand, myself and my siblings, all of whom were breastfed have none of those ailments.

How to feed your child is a choice for the parents to make. Yes, each and every child needs to be properly cared for and given the necessary nutrients etc but bottle fed children are not given a poorer start in life.

So were you breast or bottle fed?

It is a public health issue in relation to the longterm health benefits of breastfeeding, ie. reducing the risk of diabetes in adulthood for the baby, and reducing the risk of breast cancer in the mother.

I'm neither 'pro-breastfeeding' or 'pro-bottle feeding', I am just 'pro-feeding'! I do believe that breast is best but I've experienced first hand how hard it is and how easily you can put pressure on yourself to keep breastfeeding even if it means that you are unhappy and your baby spend half the time being hungry! If its as difficult next time I certainly won't be persevering for so long! Megan has been as happy and healthy on formula as she ever was on the boob!

The thing that upsets me, is that there is so much information out there about breastfeeding. Theres classes and lactation consultants and support groups... yet when I changed to formula all I had was a leaflet!! To be able to safely feed your baby you need information for all routes!

Very frustrating :mad:

metrovelvet

Very good point. My son was six weeks old before I realised you could buy it in powder form.

Penny Dreadful

crazy cat lady wrote: »

So were you breast or bottle fed?

It is a public health issue in relation to the longterm health benefits of breastfeeding, ie. reducing the risk of diabetes in adulthood for the baby, and reducing the risk of breast cancer in the mother.

I'm neither 'pro-breastfeeding' or 'pro-bottle feeding', I am just 'pro-feeding'! I do believe that breast is best but I've experienced first hand how hard it is and how easily you can put pressure on yourself to keep breastfeeding even if it means that you are unhappy and your baby spend half the time being hungry! If its as difficult next time I certainly won't be persevering for so long! Megan has been as happy and healthy on formula as she ever was on the boob!

The thing that upsets me, is that there is so much information out there about breastfeeding. Theres classes and lactation consultants and support groups... yet when I changed to formula all I had was a leaflet!! To be able to safely feed your baby you need information for all routes!

Very frustrating :mad:

I was bottle fed. My mum had 6 babies and we were all fed by bottle and formula. My older brother got cancer and died when he was a little short of his 5th birthday but I sincerely doubt that had anything to do with his being bottle fed. Treatment options weren't what they are now all those years ago.
I am all about the choice. Many new mums are under so much pressure and stress I think being made to feel bad about how they choose to feed their child for whatever reasons is awful whether they opt for bottle or breast. Almost everyone wants the very best for their baby and will make their choice based on this.
I agree with you that information on your child's nutritional needs and requirements should be made clearly and freely available to parents and how these needs can be met by both bottle and breast feeding.

implausible

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

I've seen both of my sisters breastfeed their babies. I see breastfeeding as perfectly natural and normal. I also see a woman choosing to bottle feed her baby as perfectly natural and normal too.

It's a pity everybody hasn't your experience and attitude, I'd be a lot less paranoid about it. I had never seen a woman breastfeed before I started feeding my wee man.

CK2010 wrote: »

i know i for one think it should be done in private, unless its not possible obviously.
<snip>
its like changing nappies, you know it needs to be done but you'd prefer if it was done away from you! i dont think breastfeeding mothers should be offended by the fact that others dont find it as 'natural' or whatever as they do.

Why is 'natural' in quotation marks?! It is bloody natural, surely you can't deny that!

It's bad enough being a patronising Nazi, but having to be one in a dark room or smelly toilet is too much:eek:

Nevyn

Would it be acceptable to go tell a parent to sit in a cubicle in a public toilet to bottle feed thier child? It wouldnt, so the same standard should be applied to breastfeeding, which can be done in a very discerte manner.

crazy cat lady

Thaedydal wrote: »

Would it be acceptable to go tell a parent to sit in a cubicle in a public toilet to bottle feed thier child? It wouldnt, so the same standard should be applied to breastfeeding, which can be done in a very discerte manner.

I wouldn't eat my dinner in the toilet so I certainly wouldn't feed a child in one!

Grawns

I don't mind if people choose to bottle feed their babies, that's their choice. However as a breastfeeder I do feel a little sorry for them because if you're lucky enough to be able and happy to do it - it's an amazing experience. People say the same thing about giving birth vaginally - no way I would do that. So they can feel sorry for me for skipping that part Each to their own.

ebmma

tbh I've never seen or heard anyone criticized for bottle feeding, with absolute majority of babies in Ireland being bottle fed it is the norm.
and while I am all for personal choice it does put nursing mothers in a difficult position. Because of breastfed babies being in minority lots of doctors and plenty of midwives have no idea how it works and what to do with them.
When my son was getting checked by paediatrician when he was 2 days old I was told that he was in perfect health but I should give him a bottle of Aptamil because he is very hungry and I obviously have too little milk for him and he might become dehydrated and sick. Now imagine being told that when you are a 1st time mother trying to establish breastfeeding after emergency c-section? Fortunately I realised she was talking cr@p and he never got a bottle. It just seems to be a standard thing to say if a breastfed baby cries - oh he's starving give him a bottle. I was thought it was very mean of her to say that to me as it was simply not true (it is impossible to have milk on day 2) . I mentioned it several months later to the midwife who was with me in labour and she said 'yeah, paeds have no idea what to do with healthy breastfed babies' .

I also see where people are coming from when they try to 'educate' mums about breastfeeding when it is too late for their babies - so people don't accidentally pass on wrong information to their pregnant friends and family. It's hard enough starting to breastfeed with right info!
for example my BIL's sister got mastitis and was tld she had to stop feeding. So it's natural she's gonna tell everyone who asks that you can't breastfeed with mastitis even though it is completely wrong (had it twice myself and my little guy is still nursing at 5.5 mths)

sorry if that's a bit all over the place

CK2010

deemark wrote: »

Why is 'natural' in quotation marks?! It is bloody natural, surely you can't deny that!

It's bad enough being a patronising Nazi, but having to be one in a dark room or smelly toilet is too much:eek:

woah, no need to be so defensive, i think you've taken my last post up allll wrong!

'natural' is in quotation marks as some mothers dont find it natural, yes it is physically a natural thing but not all mothers find it a natural process. that was my point. that not all mothers do agree with the term. they find it unnatural and uncomfortable. and that is OK. not all people find it natural. hence the quotation. i thought that was clear, obviously not, so for that i apologise.

i also meant that peoples opinions on what is 'natural' vary.. tribes all over the world do all sorts of natural things, walk naked etc. etc. you dont need an anthropology lecture from someone who didnt take the module! to them its natural, to us its weird or 'out there'. same goes with how we feed our children and how we use our bodies.

lastly, i NEVER said a woman should feed in a toilet, so theres no need to automatically accuse me of such. i said I PERSONALLY believe it should be done in private -if possible- never said anything about going to a toilet if it wasnt possible. if not in private then discretely (sp?). i think its a very sacred thing that mothers choose to do, alot of the time for bonding reasons, and it should be done in private if possible.

i used the nappy analogy, in a seperate paragraph to explain the mentality of people who dont wanna see it, as that was an issue that arose in the thread about seeing mothers breastfeeding (hence me saying its a different kettle of fish)- maybe thats where you got it from????

not once did i instruct you to breastfeed in a toilet! so again, apologies if this is what you read from my post.

personally i always went to the baby feeding room to bottle feed as i found that it was peaceful for baby to feed in a quiet area as oppose to a packed mcdonalds and found it nice to bond too. facilities (in most places) are brilliant these days and if i ever was to breastfeed i'd probably use them.

anything else you want me to clear up? i obviously dont get my point across very well!

Nevyn

I had a ped who was meant to be doing my sons discharging exam mix up the numbers she recorded when she weighed him and lecture me on how I must be breast feeding him wrong and she was not letting us leave the hospital and I would have to start bottle feeding him or else he'd be taken from me and bottle fed.

Needless to say as a first time mother I freaked out, my Mam came in to collect us and went on a rampage, the nurses came to check on him as the ped said he'd lost 1/3 of his birth weight and may need to be put on a drip and taken off me to be bottle fed.

The Matron said he didn't look dehydrated and went and got the scales and re weighed and was aghast at the difference between what it read and what had been written on the chart. She got all the scales on the floor and weighed them in all of them encase on of them was faulty and they all said the same, the peds dr had ****ed up.

A different peds came to check him and said he was fine but by the time this was all sorted all the clerical staff had to go home and we could not be discharged. The Matron suggested that I try feeding him every 3 hours instead of 4, waking him if needs be.
And I did and before I left the hospital he had again a few grams. Needless to say the peds dr who made the error didn't come near us and if it wasn't for my Mam who had been in and out over the 48 hours after he was born and had seen me breast feeding
backing me up and insisting it be sorted I would have quit.

I know that was 12 years ago now but I was shock with what happened and how I was treated like I was an idiot, to the point of throwing up. Yes there was an offical complaint made and when I was in having my daughter two people would read and double check the scales.

Nevyn

As the whole don't want to see it, then don't fecking look or just move or just leave.
An infant which needs to be feed and a mother who needs to feed it and is getting twinges to do so get piroirty over some strangers sensibilities esp when that person can leave.

CK2010

Thaedydal wrote: »

As the whole don't want to see it, then don't fecking look or just move or just leave.
An infant which needs to be feed and a mother who needs to feed it and is getting twinges to do so get piroirty over some strangers sensibilities esp when that person can leave.

well tbh you cant undo seeing it once you've seen it and i doubt people turn around expecting to see it, if you get me, they cant not look if they're not expecting it! once its seen its seen!

and if people find it off putting its hardly their fault, its their issue not yours so i dont know why some bf mothers get so defensive about people not liking to see it. its the persons issue not yours so just carry on and let them sort it out themselves! you feel comfortable doing it so what does it matter if they dont like it??? each to their own

mindydawne

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I intended to breastfeed. However, it didn't work out that way. Less than 12 hours after she was born in Sligo, she was rushed to Crumlin with several heart defects that weren't detected while I was pregnant. She wasn't expected to live very long. I tried to express several times a day and used the pump that the hospital provided. My milk never came in. I never thought that would happen- I always thought- you had the baby, the milk came in. Nope. Doesn't always work that way.

The stress of thinking I'd be saying goodbye to my daughter before I properly said hello, the fact it was several months after she was born that I got to properly hold her (you can't really hold your child when they've got chest drains and hooked up to multiple IVs) caused me to never produce milk. I was devastated about the milk not coming in. The one thing I could do to help, and my body refused to cooperate. Some women with babies in the hospital had no problem expressing. I did.

What didn't help is that every single day I sat next to my daughter in the hospital, the nurses would give me "advice" on how to get my milk. After a week, it was like the listing of your failure as a parent, over and over and over again. Take a bath. Massage. Hold your arm up. Take this hat she was wearing back to your parent accommodation room and smell it. Drink more water. Lay down. Don't be stressed. (yeah right, I'd like to see them not stressed if it were their child lying in that bed.) Sleep more. Eat right. Don't do this. Don't do that. Now, I know they were just trying to help, but seriously? It just made it more difficult. I left the ICU in tears one day, a nurse was telling me my milk didn't come in because I hadn't bonded with my baby- what kind of monster was I... I'm a terrible parent was my thoughts... not helpful at all. And to be honest... some of the breastfeeders (not saying the OP is one) are so obnoxious about that stuff. If someone's child is bottlefed/breastfed -- I don't care. It's none of my business.

In the end, my daughter was put on prescription formula anyway. In a different situation, I would have loved taking my daughter home from the hospital days after birth, healthy and breastfeeding. I didn't get that experience, however.

I seriously doubt the majority of bottle feeders are doing it because they don't care and don't know about the health benefits of breastfeeding. So to answer the OPs question, I bottlefeed because my milk never came in.

Cat Melodeon

CK2010 wrote: »

well tbh you cant undo seeing it once you've seen it and i doubt people turn around expecting to see it, if you get me, they cant not look if they're not expecting it! once its seen its seen!

and if people find it off putting its hardly their fault, its their issue not yours so i don't know why some bf mothers get so defensive about people not liking to see it. its the persons issue not yours so just carry on and let them sort it out themselves! you feel comfortable doing it so what does it matter if they dont like it??? each to their own

Seriously? When there are breasts out in practically every newspaper and ad in the country people are going to be put off by seeing a baby having it's lunch?

Whenever I have nursed my baby in public I have done it very discreetly, not a nipple or piece of flesh in sight, just my baby burrowing away at my well-covered breast, and I have still had remarks made and evil looks (and it's not some persecution complex either). I was asked in my GP's waiting room to stop and it was also made an issue of in the local parent & baby group (although not to my face and the group leader told the other mums to cop on). I have never felt comfortable breastfeeding in public. Where there are feeding rooms available, I use them, but I will not feed my child in a toilet. And when you experience hostility while breastfeeding it stresses you out, which can affect let-down and the ability to feed the baby, causing the baby to be stressed too. And that is why breastfeeding women become defensive and that is the main reason why I personally have become involved in breastfeeding support. To be honest, I don't care what other people do with their own children, that's up to them, but when breastfeeding in public is still viewed by the majority as off-putting or unnatural or as Ryan Tubridy famously said, "enough to put you off your sandwich", then that does affect me and my baby and other breastfed babies and that needs to change.

Grawns

I wonder how many bottle feeders tried to breastfeed and were sabotaged in the hospital?

They did their very best to sabotage me but I had the better of them. I had read and researched everything possible and I was savaged by the nurses in the rotunda. They just didn't know squat! If I hadn't been so well informed I would have given up immediately. Mostly I was totally ignored but here are the things they did that were designed to sabotage.

First - I was seperated from my baby for more than 2 hours after birth while they looked for a bed.

Second - The mdiwife who introduced herself and said she would be along to establish breastfeeding in a little while never came back and went off shift 6 hours later without coming back. Needless to say I didn't wait for her advice.

I got my book out and figured it out myself.

Third - My breasts got really hard and painful so a nurse massaged the lumps out of them - I was covered in bruises. Hot faceclothes would have been appropriate.

Fourth - when my baby got sleepy and jaundiced they offered a bottle. Most breastfed babies get a little jaundiced. I refused and demanded that they bring an expressing machine and cup feed Bridget. My milk had come in fine she was just to sleepy to suck. After the cup feeding she perked up and fed like a maniac.

Fifth - when it was time to leave they started on about her weight - she'd lost more than a bottlefed would. I ran out of the place on condition that I brought her back to be weighed in 2 days. She was thriving by then.

I really do believe that if you want to breastfeed successfully you have to be educated about the process and confident in your ability to feed your baby. Don't rely on help because they're too feckin busy and have very little breastfeeding experience. Still makes me mad - not for me cause I'm a tough cookie and I did pregnancy, birth and feeding on my terms but for all those who tried and failed cause of rubbish support or advice. Thaedydal - I'm so mad at your story. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhh!

CK2010

thats a fair enough point but its part of the package, also annother point to add to the list for the OP; women who bottlefeed get some bf mothers giving them similar daggers. women will never win no matter what they do! its a sad fact of life. others will always judge or say you're doing wrong, but whats right for you is 'right'. all the rest is how OTHERS feel and shouldnt matter to you, but they are entitled to feel how they do.

people are also put off by seeing people picking their nose even though we see noses every day! its the process/use that they dont like, no matter how nice it may be for you and your baby.im not saying that its rational or 'right', im just trying to explain why people may feel the way they do. devils advocate like. for men its also a desexualisation (if thats a word) of something that (through seeing boobs in the media like you said) is now rightly or wrongly a sexual body part.

sex is a natural human thing that is essential to life, people dont want to see it, even if they like doing it, they dont wanna see others doing it while they eat lunch! (i actually think many would, but i hope you see the point im making!) the same goes for breastfeeding.

im genuinely not anti breastfeeding or saying women should be ashamed or anything at all like that, im just giving alternative viewpoints and explanations for the OP, and those breastfeeding parents who have asked about why people feel the way they do.

MrsA

Grawns wrote: »

I don't mind if people choose to bottle feed their babies, that's their choice. However as a breastfeeder I do feel a little sorry for them because if you're lucky enough to be able and happy to do it - it's an amazing experience. People say the same thing about giving birth vaginally - no way I would do that. So they can feel sorry for me for skipping that part Each to their own.

Honestly we (bottle feeders) don't need you or anyone else feeling sorry for us, that has to just about be the most off the wall statment on this whole thread. You say there is "no way" you could give birth vaginally, and then want to bang on about what an amazing experience breastfeeding is?? I have no words for that sort of thing.
As for you not minding how people feed, why should you, why should any of us, it is none of any of our business how anyone else decides to feed. Why does it take people so long to get their heads around that?

Cat Melodeon

CK2010 wrote: »

thats a fair enough point but its part of the package

Why does it have to be? And I don't even notice babies getting bottles it is so commonplace.

CK2010 wrote: »

people are also put off by seeing people picking their nose even though we see noses every day! its the process/use that they dont like, no matter how nice it may be for you and your baby.

Words fail me. I cannot believe you are comparing a baby nursing to someone picking their nose or having sex in public. A baby drinking from the boob is no different to a baby drinking from a bottle, the packaging is just a bit different and the contents fresher.

Das Kitty

mindydawne wrote: »

your whole post

I really badly want to give you a massive hug after reading that. What an ordeal you had. I hope your daughter is well now.

CK2010

Cat Melodeon wrote: »

Why does it have to be? And I don't even notice babies getting bottles it is so commonplace.



Words fail me. I cannot believe you are comparing a baby nursing to someone picking their nose or having sex in public. A baby drinking from the boob is no different to a baby drinking from a bottle, the packaging is just a bit different and the contents fresher.

i never said it had to be, i said it is.
and maybe you dont notice, but others may, as with people who notice breastfeeding, some glare at you, some dont, some dont notice.

and its not like i actually compare the two, you asked me why people feel that way when boobs are everywhere, i was explaining that its the process not the object. like the nose isnt hated the process of picking it is, the sex isnt the issue, its the being subjected to someone else doing it that is... same with breastfeeding. if you dont like the analogy fine, i didnt think id need to explicitly state that i dont actually believe they are the same.

id also like to point out, once again, that i expressed my own views much earlier in this thread, im now just giving possible explanations. i.e. they are not MY views on the issue, they are just views, that i am trying to help people understand.

if you dont agree with them thats fine, i really genuinely dont care cause as ive stated numerous times they're just possible explanations, all i was doing was helping one side of the argument to be understood, so theres no need to be pedantic about the particular analogy i use, i really dont think all you breastfeeders are like nose pickers! (again didnt think id need to explicitly state it but there you go:p perhaps its a lost cause to fight another viewpoints battle!).

ebmma

CK2010 wrote: »

!

'natural' is in quotation marks as some mothers dont find it natural, yes it is physically a natural thing but not all mothers find it a natural process. that was my point. that not all mothers do agree with the term. they find it unnatural and uncomfortable. and that is OK. not all people find it natural. hence the quotation. i thought that was clear, obviously not, so for that i apologise.

natural doesn't mean easy. Walking is natural but it takes a while to master, we just forget about it. If someone ends up in an accident and needs to learn to walk again I'm pretty sure it won't feel natural at all.
Breastfeeding is natural consequence of having a baby. We're unfortunate here that the culture around it is gone. If we had the benefit of watching other people do it from early age it would seem natural (as in easy) too.

A midwife at Mothercare info evening was saying how Holles St. employed several Indian midwives and how they were thinking to get some insight into how to help mother breastfeed (apparently most people in India do it). Didn't get much help though, because when those midwives were asked how do you help a new mother to breastfeed they said 'we just give her the baby and it happens'. Everyone sees how their mothers, sisters and friends do it.

as for the toilets - you didn't say it but for some reason it is a common place to send nursing mothers
I was nursing in the corner of arts section in Ulster museum and some elderly ladies suggested I can g somewhere more comfortable and suggested toilets. not a coffee shop on the ground floor with comfy couches but the toilet and they weren't mean or anything I actually think they were trying to help it's just that toilets was the 1st thing coming to their mind

Cat Melodeon

CK2010 wrote: »

i didnt think id need to explicitly state that i dont actually believe they are the same.

I think everyone is so sensitive about this topic that everything has to be made explicit. Apologies - I wasn't being pedantic, I really thought those were your views.

CK2010

Cat Melodeon wrote: »

I think everyone is so sensitive about this topic that everything has to be made explicit. Apologies - I wasn't being pedantic, I really thought those were your views.

i guess you're right, i just dont understand why its a sensitive issue. some people like it, some people dont, everyone has different views, but whatever yours is just go with it!

i just dont understand why, if you know its good for baby, you know in your heart you're being a good mother (and you dont deserve to be shunned to a toilet!:p) why it should matter if people do think badly of it.

i gave a few reasons why people dont like it or feel its weird or whatever and they're entitled to feel that way but it shouldnt bother you if they do cause its how they feel, not how you should, you get me?

im used to having the worst assumed of my parenting abilities as a very young looking twenty year old with a three year old child. for example, shes been on very strong medication since she was a young baby, one day i took the prescription (made by a consultant in temple street, so he knew what he was doing and is more than aware of childrens doses etc.) to the pharmacy and they refused to give it to me, said i was entirely wrong, theres no way they'd prescribe it for her. i went through the long explanation and list of previous medication she had been on prior to this and they said no she shouldnt take this medicine and made me feel like a bad mother for trying to get it.

i had to insist they ring the consultant and ask, and when they did, i didnt get an apology! i honestly believe that if i was 30, i may have been questioned a little but nowhere near as bad as i was. and i would certainly have been apologised to for being put through an interrogation (sp?) when all i wanted was to make my baby better!

at the end of the day, i knew my baby best, i knew what she needed for her health and so, i did it. (like breastfeeding for you) regardless of them thinking i didnt know any better. theres been many an assumption made by medical staff (including 8 or 9 months of being told i wasnt feeding her the right food despite me showing them lists of her daily meals etc.-theres no way a teenager really feeds her child home made meals with veg instead of just jars from the supermarket or junk food :eek:).

so now im just of the mentality that i know i do best by my child so screw them if they want to think otherwise or they dont like it, i just dont understand why other mothers cant do it too! just forget about other people and do whats right for you and your baby. people will have their own opinion regardless.

implausible

CK2010 wrote: »

women who bottlefeed get some bf mothers giving them similar daggers.

I very much doubt it. Us breadfeeding mothers wouldn't have an eye left in our heads if we did this to every bottlefeeding mum:rolleyes:

CK2010 wrote: »

i just dont understand why, if you know its good for baby, you know in your heart you're being a good mother (and you dont deserve to be shunned to a toilet!:p) why it should matter if people do think badly of it.

i gave a few reasons why people dont like it or feel its weird or whatever and they're entitled to feel that way but it shouldnt bother you if they do cause its how they feel, not how you should, you get me?

so now im just of the mentality that i know i do best by my child so screw them if they want to think otherwise or they dont like it, i just dont understand why other mothers cant do it too! just forget about other people and do whats right for you and your baby. people will have their own opinion regardless.

You're obviously a very strong person and you're right, other people's views shouldn't bother bfing mothers, but the reality is - they do. I'd love not to care, but it's hard when people constantly ask you how long you're going to keep it up for and suggest that you 'just give him a bottle'. When people do a double-take, stare or even worse, suggest you move, it's nigh-impossible to ignore other people's opinions. Then again, I may be more thin-skinned than most.

I don't necessarily agree that people are entitled to feel it's weird. For the vast majority of people, the reason they feel this is lack of exposure (pardon the pun:D). They have grown up in a society where bfing is not the norm and hence they see the most natural thing in the world as weird. A woman recently texted into my local radio station to say that she thought bfing mothers were exhibitionists:eek:

CK2010

deemark wrote: »

I very much doubt it. Us breadfeeding mothers wouldn't have an eye left in our heads if we did this to every bottlefeeding mum:rolleyes:


I don't necessarily agree that people are entitled to feel it's weird. For the vast majority of people, the reason they feel this is lack of exposure (pardon the pun:D). They have grown up in a society where bfing is not the norm and hence they see the most natural thing in the world as weird. A woman recently texted into my local radio station to say that she thought bfing mothers were exhibitionists:eek:

but if its not a look for the very reason that they're bottle feeding, it'd be for something else. or if a mother went to microwave a bottle, which im very against myself, il admit, id prob throw a look, not to make her feel uncomfortable, not even for her to see, just kind of like a subconscious cringe that shes doing it, if you get me? doesnt mean shes wrong or that im trying to make her resent her choice.
some mothers do this to mothers bfing, although alot of the time its blatantly to make you feel uncomfortable or to make you stop, il admit that.

it is hard to block out peoples opinions, believe me, and some people are just blatantly ignorant, regardless of what they're giving their opinion on, like someone asking me why i didnt put her up for adoption or have an abortion, telling me i wont make it a week in college with a baby (had great fun telling her i got a 2:1 in the end, not the best but not a fail either :cool:) etc., they're things that the normal person with tact would never say to someone, and its the same with some people regarding the issue of bfing as it is quite rare so you get more of a response with a greater reaction, does that make sense? as a mother you always get people complaining about something you're doing, its like once you give birth you become a target for criticism and its somehow okay for everyone to pass comment, i dunno why!

i think as long as you're doing it discretely nobody should be telling you to move or anything of the sort. they are entitled to feel the way they do but you're also entitled to feed your baby!