Bride stealing

angelxx

Has anyone just seen the BBC documentry on bride stealing in Chechnya, I
found it profoundly disturbing that in this day and age this is common, People almost seem proud of it. It's hard to believe in 2010. It would seem unimaginable that anyone could be snatched off
the street and forced by their family/kidnappers to get married. Given the extent of violence in war torn Checynya this "custom" is still overlooked and doesn't appear to be considered a crime.

http://womensrights.suite101.com/article.cfm/women-in-muslim-chechnya-forced-into-marriage

The_Minister

See, if she was interested in you, and had made that clear, I can see how the custom could be seen as sweet (dramatic, public gesture etc.).

Since it is non-consensual I'm not sure how such a custom has developed or been able to survive; from the article it's clear that her family approved of the move, which is frankly bizarre. I really don't see how the custom became acceptable.

angelxx

I saw that story where her family gave consent but she had no say whatsoever, Another girl was raped when she was taken off the street and therefore against her will her family
forced her into marraige. It seems that their customs are incredibly backward.

fionav3

I saw this documentry. I'm not usually one to critisize another country's customs but thought this was outragous and scared the living hell out of me! Basically, any man can take a fancy to how a girl looks but if he doesn't feel like putting in the effort or time of courting her he can kidnap her. And then her family will agree to have her marry him because she's somehow tainted then!!! It's disgraceful, backward and terrifying...these women basically have no rights! Think Chechnya needs a good kick up the backside.

Wibbs

The_Minister wrote: »

See, if she was interested in you, and had made that clear, I can see how the custom could be seen as sweet (dramatic, public gesture etc.).

Exactly. I seem to recall there's a culture in Tibet or China that goes in for this, but it's consensual. The woman has to agree. They're usually going out for a long time before this happens. It looked like it used to be like the Chechnya thing, but is now like you said an public gesture, nod to tradition kinda thing. Both famiies are involved and they know when its going to happen. Its basically an excuse for a mad party.

Since it is non-consensual I'm not sure how such a custom has developed or been able to survive; from the article it's clear that her family approved of the move, which is frankly bizarre. I really don't see how the custom became acceptable.

I can. If women are used as bargaining tools for family/political reasons and/or are valued as commodities in a very male dominated society it's almost inevitable I would have thought. There were examples of it in europe in the past.

In Chechnya it could be also down to its recent history. Under communism the underlying culture was oppressed and modernised. Women in law at least had many more rights(more than in this country up until recently). The fall of the Soviet union made the culture spring back with a lot of force in both good and bad ways. You see it with religion across most of the soviet bloc countries. It went from an officially secular state, to a real resurgence of religion. Even calls to bring back monarchies in different states. In Chechnya the following war with Russia only served to make people dig their heels in and cling hard to their culture, its faith and traditions. There's a very male dominated version of Islam attached to it. In this case its defo not the fault of the religion as Islam is very clear, that women have to agree to marriage. Pity they don't follow that. Then again how many Christians turn the other cheek? I reckon modernism is now associated with the old colonists, so stopping this in what is a very lawless state still rebuilding is not gonna be easy.

seenitall

The word "Neanderthal" springs to mind. You know, the old pre-civilisation cliche where the male ambushes the female, clobbers her unconscious, and drags her back to his cave by the roots of her hair. Except it is happening in the year 2010.

Instances like this, along with all other forms of forced marriage, FGM, baby girls dumped into rubbish bins, and other atrocities, make me feel very, very grateful for having been born where I was, and for living where I am.