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17 weeks pregnant,BF doesn't want sex

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  • 19-08-2010 6:12pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hi all, i'm 17 weeks pregnant with our 1st baby. Been with BF 2 years but we've only moved in together since last week.
    our sex life before was maybe 4 - 5 times per week... in the last 2 months it's gone down to maybe once every 2 weeks... he always says he's tired or is asleep when i go to bed. i've tried to initiate it a few times but all i get is, "sorry i'm too tired" and he hugs me, rolls over and goes to sleep.
    has anyone else out there experienced this with their partner?? i have started becoming rounder but other than that i've had no extreme weight gain so i don't know if it's that or the thought of having sex with me being pregnant is freaking him out.
    he won't talk to me about this, just says he's tired and that's it.
    i don't want to make it a big issue with him cos our relationship is good in every other way, it's just getting me really down & starting to affect my self-confidence :(
    any advice on how to handle this?


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    #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Your BF is probably a little shy about it. A lot of guys are. When my wife was pregnant the first time, I was a little hesitant at the start, but we enjoyed a very healthy sex life right up until a week or so before birth. My excuse now is that we have to keep trying for a baby until the baby actually arrives. Just explain to your BF that it's completely safe, that it'll not damage the baby in any way. After the first couple of times when he might be a little awkard with it, he'll get over his issue I'm sure. Best of luck


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    #3
    miss_shadow
    Registered Users Posts: 1,446 ✭✭✭miss_shadow


    maybe it's the impact of moving in together which is a bit overwhelming for him? Just give him space and let him come to you


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    #4
    crazy cat lady
    Registered Users Posts: 1,196 ✭✭✭crazy cat lady


    I wish I'd has this problem when I was preggers! I found OH was wanting it more than ever and it was me who was tired all the time!

    It can be a bit freaky for a man to have sex when their partner is pregnant, especialy if they don't understand the female anatomy very well. Try talking to him and find out if he's worried about 'poking babs in the head' and try to reassure him that his little fella won't actually get anywhere near the baby. Tell him how you are feeling and see if he has anything on his mind. If he is very concerned about penetration during pregnancy, maybe suggest other ways to be intimate. I really think you should tell him how you feel tho, especially if it is affecting your confidence.

    I would imaging that it has just been the stress of moving on together. Is he having to work more to earn a little extra to pay the bills? Or is he doing alot of DIY in his spare time?

    Whatever the problem is, I'm sure it has nothing to do with your newly developing figure :)

    And anyway, wait til the babs comes!! There will be no hanky panky 4-5 times a week in the early days!! 4-5 times a year is about right! (thats just alittle joke, its not really that bad :D)


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