Most humorous insult you've heard? :-)

Noopti · 16-09-2010 4:38pm

bigtuna wrote: »

she/he should have been swallowed at conception

That...doesn't make sense.

Grudaire · 16-09-2010 6:54pm

Noopti wrote: »

That...doesn't make sense.

I think bigtuna either needs sex ed classes, or to stop watching pr0n

:pac:

BrokenArrows · 18-09-2010 12:12pm

Noopti wrote: »

That...doesn't make sense.

"Your face doesnt make sense!".

the response when anyone says you're not making sense.

cam1452 · 22-09-2010 9:34pm

id trag me mickey threw 2 miles of broken glass just to **** ur shoe

derra_121 · 24-09-2010 9:09am

Some knackers on the 27 bus to a bunch of rocker/long haired/goth lads " youve got a Head on you like Partick Swayze"

jimbling · 24-09-2010 2:01pm

Friend making a comment about the girl he had just spent the night with.

"She had a face like a bucket of smashed crabs"

Chewabacca · 26-09-2010 7:04pm

"I wouldn't give her the steam of my piss"

tuff1 · 26-09-2010 7:11pm

i wouldn't ride her for practice :P

Mankyspuds · 28-09-2010 7:07pm

If I had a bag of langers I still wouldnt give her one!!

anthonymax · 29-09-2010 9:58am

"Your mother's from Killucan!"

"No she's not,your's is!"

stemah · 30-09-2010 1:02am

Yer ma is so fat, when she fell down the stairs I thought EastEnders was ending!!!

blastman · 30-09-2010 5:11pm

I don't go round to where you work and knock sailor's cocks out of your mouth.

(said by Jimmy Carr to a member of the audience in the Olympia last year after they had complained he re-used one of his jokes

)

bigdogbarking · 01-10-2010 3:48am

"If you had no feet, would you wear socks?
Then why the f*ck do you wear a bra!"

viper.10 · 04-10-2010 5:16pm

she has a head on her like a boiled sh*te

Dark_by_Dezign · 05-10-2010 1:48am

your the shot your mother should have swallowed

Uncle Spunk · 08-10-2010 9:26am

One of my favs when slagging mates for being weak:

You couldn't kill a good Sunday dinner

Screaminmidget · 14-11-2010 10:27pm

dont be getting snappy at me just because your mother sells big issue magazines.

Very good when slagging eastern europeans

:D

AWard · 15-11-2010 5:16pm

Most likely these are very particular to the states, and are NOT directed at anyone here:

In order to haul ass, you'd have to make two trips.

A woman who found out I was pregnant with my fourth child: "Haven't you ever heard of birth control?"

Me: "No, but your parents should have.."

Trout's father's line: "he has a face like a plate full of mortal sins..." I fell out laughing at that one...

Couldn't find their ass with a flashlight and a road map...

You're the world's only living brain donor...

Some village has been deprived of its idiot

You're out of your depth in a parking lot puddle...

dexter647 · 15-11-2010 8:49pm

There's only two things that come from wexford... Strawberries and knackers and you don't look like a strawberry:D:D

matt-dublin · 22-11-2010 10:02am

Holy sh1t! Lancelot wouldn't even ride her into battle!!

Ganymede Glow · 22-11-2010 7:25pm

Watching a fat woman in a pub one night and my friend turns around and says "I'd say her nipples are like cigar butts"

oompaloompa · 22-11-2010 7:29pm

about an auld one..... 'coffin dodging piss witch'

actuallylike · 22-11-2010 7:33pm

Mate went out with a fat bird for a bit, I mean Everest fat (not that there's anything wrong with that but we were young gobshíte males). A few of us were talking about it (when he wasn't there) and someone asked had he got anywhere with her. His housemate said "think just second base"...
...
murmur from the other side of the room
...
"more like base camp"

Felt pretty bad about laughing about it but it was a good one.