Most humorous insult you've heard? :-)

JustAddWater

you're like a bag of lego ...

in bits

medici

nicndec wrote: »

You wouldn't get up on her to get over a wall!

I think

"You wouldn't get up on her to watch a county final!"

is also a nice twist on this

Mooro

Overheard in a pub in Cavan - 'She looks like her face went on fire and someone put it out with a shovel'

studioguest

A friend of mine had got lucky with a girl one night I asked him the next day was she good looking? His reply was:

" She was no Show Pony but she'd do for ridin round d house" :D


Another one: You have a head on ya like a blind cobblers thumb

Limerick91

She fell from the top of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way way

trad

On a recent trip to Killarney an arguement between 2 shop assistants and a third one is called in: say she "What are you wrong about now?"

DryCleanOnly

She looks like something id draw with my left hand

Mits

A friend asked a girl to dance, and she refused, he said

" I was going to tell you a joke that would make your tits fall off, but I see you have already heard it."

rick_fantastic

she looks like the travellers found her in the back of a skip....

des kelly wouldnt lay her....

scudzilla

you're the cum you're mother should have swallowed

saintsaltynuts

She's a face like a bag o' spanners.
She,s a face like a melted bucket.

He wouldnt know what way a lift was goin if he had two guesses.
Dont think you'll confuse your other brain cell.

vidic15mu

"She has a face on her like a bulldog lickin piss off a nettle" A personal Favourite :pac:

damagegt

Someone once shouted at me as I walked past in my shorts "I seen better legs hanging out of a nest"

And

Shes a butter-head.
I enquire "whats a butter-head?"
Shes got a savage body but her head.......

D-Generate

You look like your dad's best mate

cbreeze

last time I saw a face like that it had a hook in it ...

Ronin247

He is the pro choice poster child

Shes had enough c*ck to make a handrail to the moon

Shes had more pricks than a dartboard.

I wouldnt sh*g her with yours.


If a good idea came into his head it would be a space invader

matt-dublin

Bobfoc (n, bobfock, she's a bobfoc)....
Body off baywatch, face off crimewatch

Winty

If you can't lift her, don't shift her

fatherted1969

Ganymede Glow wrote: »

Watching a fat woman in a pub one night and my friend turns around and says "I'd say her nipples are like cigar butts"

I'd say you could hang wet duffle coats off those nipples

AirHairLair

"If he had been hung for being good-looking, he would have died an innocent man."

QueenOfLeon

"Pity the last time you saw a woman's vagina was during childbirth"...:P

OldmanMondeo

More so said than heard. In a friends house many years ago and a nosey neighbour was leaving but couldn't get the door open, I went to the front door opened it no problems, Thanks she says, "Women and technology" says me. Even the women in the room laughed.

thomasj

"your mas so poor,she had to sell your brain for magic beans"

Gaz

She had a head on her like a bag of fire damaged lego

Tallon

She's had more fingers in her than a holy water font

Henno30

She's been shot over more times than Sarajevo.

Witcher

'You've got two brain cells...one's pushing the other around in a wheelchair'

'I wouldn't throw the leg of a table over her'

Henno30

Is that your hair or is your head unravelling? - Jerry Sadowitz

Bigus

Said about an elderly woman who hadn't washed in ages

"She could do with a bang of a steam cleaner"

Daroxtar

She's been clatterfukced and riddled with cockshot
She's so well rode her flaps are using skype to chat to each other
He's so fukn thick if he got hungry he'd put on an extra jumper
Tradesman??? He couldn't wipe his hole with them hands