Italian Mafia Don

coldfire1x

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed.

Grandson I wanna you lisin to me. I want for you to take my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me.?

But grandpa I really don?t like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.?

You lisina to me, soma day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big home and maybe a couple of bambino.?

?Soma day you goina coma home and maybe finda you wife in bed with another man. What do you do than? Point to your watch and say TIMES UP??
__________________

David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no previous experience he skilfully mounts the horse and appears to be in complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace. Victoria admiringly watching her husband.

After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to lose his grip in the saddle, he panics and grabs the horse around the neck shouting for it to stop. Victoria starts to scream and shout for someone to help her husband as David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horses neck.

David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups. As the horse gallops along David’s head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness. Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!!!!

Hearing her screams, the Toy Store Security Guard finally comes and unplugs the horse.

eoferrall

thanked for the Beckham joke!:D