What the culchiest thing you have seen culchie people do?

notonlybutalso

notonlybutalso wrote: »

why are people from cork so jelous of dublin?

that was a picture of opinionated corks

fonecrusher1

notonlybutalso wrote: »

why are people from cork so jelous of dublin?

Because of their superior spelling.

notonlybutalso

bluewolf wrote: »

that was a picture of opinionated corks

Ah i see! It wouldnt load up for me. Thanks

Qualitymark

notonlybutalso wrote: »

I dont know why the rest of ireland have a problem with dubs.

Historical, from the days when Dublin was an all-Protestant-no-Irish city with its foot on the face of the country. Times have moved on (about three centuries) since this was so, but time passes slowly up here in the mountains, to quote the prophet Dylan.

cooltown

I have a few.
Well my father is the biggest culchie you have ever seen.
He cut all the bottons of his troussers because he tought they were to tight. He uses string now instead. He wears boots every where he goes with his troussers tucked into his socks.
He brings ham sandwiches every with him with a bottle of tea. Don't forget growing his own potatoes and vegtables and saying there the best things every even tough they have some disease and there all dead.
Oh this is such a funny storey he won a break in Dublin with the farmers journal. He was being collected by a luxury car with my mother. He couldn't understand how an alarm would go off if you didn't wear your seat belt. Then there was the champagne. He didn't like it. He also couldn't understand how there was so much traffic in Dublin.
Then that night there was some meal on and I think some guy from the IFA was there and my father was mad to get his picture with him. He also decided to bring his childhood photo's along with him for some reason to show to people. Nobody had no interest in them and he couldn't understand why. Since my parents won the tickets to the meal they didn't have to pay but the prices were printed on top of the menu and I think the price was 79.95 and he was amazed anybody could pay tat price for food. He wasn't happy with the food at all. The starter was some kind of sea food I can't remember the name of what it was but he said it was chinese and said that you knew a foreigner cooked it. Then the stake was rare and he made them take it back and cook it more. Then it was back to hotel and he couldn't understand why somebody would want a bath and a shower. He couldn't sleep with the noise of the traffic and he missed his hot water bottle. Then the next morning he went down for breakfast in his boxers and he was sent back up to the room to get dressed. I have so many other stories!:)

Winty

cooltown wrote: »

Then the next morning he went down for breakfast in his boxers and he was sent back up to the room to get dressed. I have so many other stories!:)

Tell more please Cooltown, this could be an Irish version of "**** my dad says"

http://twitter.com/****mydadsays

rossie1977

John_Rambo wrote: »

What a crock of shyte :pac::pac::pac:. If you're going to make up something to discredit Dubliners, at least make it a little bit believable!

thats believable, i have a friend from sutton who thought clondalkin was down the country somewhere

one dub on here asked what a ben bulben and inishowen were

Winty

In a Chinese restaurant in Donegal a man said to the girl

"can I have them things I be ateing while I am waiting"

Translation

Prawn Crackers

John_Rambo

rossie1977 wrote: »

thats believable

It's not, he made it up... "a Dublin fella i knew..." Yeah right, shut up.

Cooltown, I like your Dad, excellent Crocadile Dundee story's. (no offense meant at all) He sounds like a character, I bet xmas dinners are a hoot in your gaff.

Qualitymark

Dan Breen used to arrive at meetings in various parts of the country with absolute punctuality; he just stumped along at a good walking speed, while others relied on cars or bikes. A very culchie method.

He claimed he could walk from Tipperary to Dublin in 12 hours, which sounds incredible.

hypermuse

Funniest thing I ever saw a pack of culchies do..

Exam time in college so library is pretty full...

One culchie brings over a magazine that he was hiding in a book and next thing there are about 8-9 culchie lads looking at this magazine. All of them giggling away and shouting "look at that one lads" or "I wish I had that at home". They were getting very excited altogether!!

I genuinely thought the had a playboy or some kinda smutty magazine that we all love...

They eventually got busted by the libro-cop (library security)


Turned out they were all just looking a farmers magazine (farmers journal maybe?) and they were looking at tractors!!

Thought it was hilarious.. never saw a culchie as excited as when he has a farming magazine in his hands!!

chordtype

hypermuse wrote: »

Funniest thing I ever saw a pack of culchies do..

Exam time in college so library is pretty full...

One culchie brings over a magazine that he was hiding in a book and next thing there are about 8-9 culchie lads looking at this magazine. All of them giggling away and shouting "look at that one lads" or "I wish I had that at home". They were getting very excited altogether!!

I genuinely thought the had a playboy or some kinda smutty magazine that we all love...

They eventually got busted by the libro-cop (library security)


Turned out they were all just looking a farmers magazine (farmers journal maybe?) and they were looking at tractors!!

Thought it was hilarious.. never saw a culchie as excited as when he has a farming magazine in his hands!!

Ah come on now. There's making up stories and then there is this.

cooltown

I'll post about Christmas later!
This is the storey of my sex education night.
It was a Friday night in late June. I went with him and he wore what he normal would wear. Everbody was amazed he was my dad because we are total opposites. We had a drugs talk with a grada first and he kept on asking questions and making smart comments. The gurda didn't know what to do. Then the garda passed around laminated samples of drugs and my dad got his hands on them and tried to open them. He then asked was there rat poision in cocaine.
Then it was the sex education part and he kept on asking questions and the woman doing it had cindoms and explained to use how to put on a condom and he helped her. I was like :eek:! Then she started explaining the processes and he told her how he tought it happened infront of everybody. He was wrond. My face was bright red to begin with but I ended up being pale becase I was so imbarresed with him. He then started talking about cows and bulls and there was something to do with castration. The whole room was in stiches with him. My teacher felt so sorry for me!

hypermuse

chordtype wrote: »

Ah come on now. There's making up stories and then there is this.

I shhit you not!! These lads were proper proper culchies doing ag science or something like that!! I dont know if it was exam stress making people go mental or what but it was hilarious!!!

about blank

Don Keypunch wrote: »

What the culchiest thing you have seen culchie people do?

Shifting each other

candlegrease

cooltown wrote: »

I'll post about Christmas later!
This is the storey of my sex education night.
It was a Friday night in late June. I went with him and he wore what he normal would wear. Everbody was amazed he was my dad because we are total opposites. We had a drugs talk with a grada first and he kept on asking questions and making smart comments. The gurda didn't know what to do. Then the garda passed around laminated samples of drugs and my dad got his hands on them and tried to open them. He then asked was there rat poision in cocaine.
Then it was the sex education part and he kept on asking questions and the woman doing it had cindoms and explained to use how to put on a condom and he helped her. I was like :eek:! Then she started explaining the processes and he told her how he tought it happened infront of everybody. He was wrond. My face was bright red to begin with but I ended up being pale becase I was so imbarresed with him. He then started talking about cows and bulls and there was something to do with castration. The whole room was in stiches with him. My teacher felt so sorry for me!

MOAR plz

anthonymax

Winty wrote: »

In a Chinese restaurant in Donegal a man said to the girl

"can I have them things I be ateing while I am waiting"

Translation

Prawn Crackers

That's so funny,how come these things always happen in the Chinese?

My dad won't eat "foreign food". He has never tasted pizza,Chinese or actually anything that isn't meat,two veg. He calls pizzas "pieces" and kebabs are "keybobs".

twinytwo

i have seen a few city folk nearly have panic attacks when a cow is coming up the road against them and they are in a car.. like its going to eat them or something...

up for anything

valarie001 wrote: »

its at least 30 yrs old! i dont know what he will do when the digital comes in:D

He's a sound man not to listen to the digital scare stories. He'd have gotten rid of it twenty years ago if he'd done that.

Ferguson made TVs to last. No wonder they went out of business in that area. No new demand for them.

Exodus 1811

Beg for money and do heroin.

kylith

twinytwo wrote: »

i have seen a few city folk nearly have panic attacks when a cow is coming up the road against them and they are in a car.. like its going to eat them or something...

There was some story about a crowd of girls in the UK who had to be rescued because some cows got between them and where they were going, and they were too scared to go near them. Bunch of pansies.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/dorset/6281910.stm

Ann22

I spent many summers on my Granny's and auntie's farms. I remember being tiny and meeting herds of cattle - horns and all, in the lanes. The farmer driving them, would ask us to stand in the middle of the lane and not to let them pass so they'd go into a field. I used to be petrified:eek:.

I still am frightened to cross a field full of cattle, the way they follow you:eek:. I saw one attack my brother which didn't help. He was on his knees mooing at them, like a big eejit, and this one cow took a run at him, through the electric fence and all. He escaped luckily.

The last time scary moment I had with them I was with my husband and son who was only about 3 or 4. There was one of those electric fences separating the field we were in from the next field full of cattle. They all started to gallop up the hill towards us. I was rooted to the ground in terror. Luckily they stopped when they got to the fence but I was in an awful state.

Misanthrope

Requesting 'Put em Under Pressure' at nightclubs.It still happens.

Waiting around in urban nightclubs after the DJ finishes his set,for the national anthem to be played.

CarrickMcJoe

super_furry wrote: »

Eat a bail of hay? Seriously, what kind of answers do you expect? When they do ride their relatives, they make sure the doors are closed.

Know how to spell BALE ya skanger!

Misanthrope

Display an intimate knowledge of Wavin Piping, commonly referred to as 'de wavin'.

eg. "Daddo sang a shtrip o wavin offa me arse quare good, after I done a wheelie in de Zetor and she got away from me"


Wavin to a culchie is like tomatoes to an Italian cook.They get used for everything.Some culchies hoard the Wavin, getting totally obsessive about it.Others are content with a 3ft shtrip...... "erra enough to flay de hound shurr"

Wavin can be used for.....
Any kind of plumbing
Disciplining Children
Reach Extension and General Poking
Cleaning Shotguns
Siphoning Diesel
Self Defence
Walking Stick
Grow tunnel frames
Irish Boomerang
Kink Sex
Musical instrument
Robust Hoola Hoops for big farmgirls
Primitive communication systems
Obstetrics
Witchcraft
Attempts at flying machines

If anyone knows of any other uses for Wavin be sure to post them

Mr Benevolent

Misanthrope wrote: »

Wavin to a culchie is like tomatoes to an Italian cook.They get used for everything.Some culchies hoard the Wavin, getting totally obsessive about it.Others are content with a 3ft shtrip...... "erra enough to flay de hound shurr"

Really? Ironic since it's made in Dublin.

Misanthrope

Confab wrote: »

Really? Ironic since it's made in Dublin.

Giving Wavin to a Dub would be like giving a Rubix cube to a jellyfish.Rustic ingenuity is what makes the most of this versatile product.

Misanthrope

Misanthrope wrote: »

If anyone knows of any other uses for Wavin be sure to post them

Wind turbine.

Wompa1

I know a lad that has a poster of a Massey Ferguson on his bedroom wall. Sound guy though, culchies are grand

alexa5x5

Misanthrope wrote: »

Display an intimate knowledge of Wavin Piping, commonly referred to as 'de wavin'.

eg. "Daddo sang a shtrip o wavin offa me arse quare good, after I done a wheelie in de Zetor and she got away from me"


Wavin to a culchie is like tomatoes to an Italian cook.They get used for everything.Some culchies hoard the Wavin, getting totally obsessive about it.Others are content with a 3ft shtrip...... "erra enough to flay de hound shurr"

Wavin can be used for.....
Any kind of plumbing
Disciplining Children
Reach Extension and General Poking
Cleaning Shotguns
Siphoning Diesel
Self Defence
Walking Stick
Grow tunnel frames
Irish Boomerang
Kink Sex
Musical instrument
Robust Hoola Hoops for big farmgirls
Primitive communication systems
Obstetrics
Witchcraft
Attempts at flying machines

If anyone knows of any other uses for Wavin be sure to post them

Eh whats Wavin??? (stupid Dub here!;))

ricero

fly home to kerry on a friday evening and come back on a sunday evening just so they can keep their job in an argos haha

topper75

alexa5x5 wrote: »

Eh whats Wavin??? (stupid Dub here!;))

http://wb3.itrademarket.com/pdimage/30/s_893230_od90mm.jpg

A bit o d'oul wavin for 'ou

jonnygiles

Misanthrope wrote: »

Requesting 'Put em Under Pressure' at nightclubs.It still happens.

Waiting around in urban nightclubs after the DJ finishes his set,for the national anthem to be played.

Ah thats nothing I hear the song "Maniac 2000" being played in some pubs still. Didnt like it in 2000 so Im not gona like 10 flaming years later. The DJ needs to get some modern tuneage in thats for sure

Lockstep

Taking on board the advice beside the escalators in Dublin airport;
For those unfamiliar with escalators, please use the stairs.

My (then) 17 year old cousin came to visit me and my family when we lived in Brussels. Massive tank of a lad who grew up on a farm. He was adorably culchie-esque.

1) he was entranced by the escalators on the subway ("Wow! It's like being in a big city like London or New York or something")
2) Used terrible French on every single person he came across. "Bong Jewer (no matter the time of day) "Mercy Buckets".
3) Going on a rollercoaster and praying the hail mary the whole way through the queue.
4)Complaining about the lack of spuds, tae, Tayto and Kerrygold for said spuds.
5) Genuinely amazed about the lack of tractors in the city.
6) Drooling over a tractor we saw in the countryside near Brussels.
7) Wore wellies everywhere.

Qualitymark wrote: »

Keep a pair of binocs in the kitchen - "Is that McCarthy - who does he have in the passenger seat? Begob, it's that Dub wan from up the bog!"

Know all about every neighbour's sexual transgressions - when the local gardener can't get work, it's not because he's 'nimble-fingered' (= steals every tool that's not nailed down, as well as expensive shrubs), but because he screws the daughters of the quality.

Also know everything about everyone's seed, breed and generation for six generations back. "You see, at the time of the murders in the Phoenix Park, his great-great-grandmother was a second cousin of Skin-the-Goat, and..."

When a neighbour is away and the rain comes pouring in through the conservatory, gather the neighbourhood with all their buckets, and come over and let themselves in and clean the wet place, launder anything that's damaged, put buckets underneath, and if possible simply mend the broken seals.

If an old person with cancer needs a weekly lift to the hospital in Dublin or Cork or Galway, someone in the neighbourhood will always, but a weird coincidence, have a reason to be going to that very city at times convenient for a lift there or back.

If this lift isn't possible, then the independent bus driver will divert the intercity bus to pass the hospital, and wait (with all the passengers) till the sick person comes out to be picked up.

Stop the bus in the middle of a country road to settle an argument about the correct moves for a set of The Lancers, and take all the passengers out, produce a button accordion and drill the passengers in the set until they have it right.

I live in Connemara.
These are all true.

Rob!

Saw some farmers back home go into a new subway covered in sh*te, wearing wellies and then going mad because they couldn't get butter! Hilarious!

Rabble Rabble

When I used to drive around the country in my Dublin registered merc, they would look scared, close down the banks and hide indoors.

Mad bastards.

Misanthrope

Wompa1 wrote: »

I know a lad that has a poster of a Massey Ferguson on his bedroom wall. Sound guy though, culchies are grand

De Massey is classy but de Zetor is better

johnn

You farmers, you don't like outsiders, do you? You like to stick to your own.

I've seen the Big-Eared boys on farms.

I saw one Culchie blow up a tree and then use the leaves to make a dress for his wife, who was also his brother.

recylingbin

Misanthrope wrote: »

Display an intimate knowledge of Wavin Piping, commonly referred to as 'de wavin'.

eg. "Daddo sang a shtrip o wavin offa me arse quare good, after I done a wheelie in de Zetor and she got away from me"


Wavin to a culchie is like tomatoes to an Italian cook.They get used for everything.Some culchies hoard the Wavin, getting totally obsessive about it.Others are content with a 3ft shtrip...... "erra enough to flay de hound shurr"

Wavin can be used for.....
Any kind of plumbing
Disciplining Children
Reach Extension and General Poking
Cleaning Shotguns
Siphoning Diesel
Self Defence
Walking Stick
Grow tunnel frames
Irish Boomerang
Kink Sex
Musical instrument
Robust Hoola Hoops for big farmgirls
Primitive communication systems
Obstetrics
Witchcraft
Attempts at flying machines

If anyone knows of any other uses for Wavin be sure to post them

Insulation for an electric fence.
Waving and saying 'hup' when herding cattle.
blowpipe for shooting ball bearings at irate sibling.
paint stirrer.
exercise equipment.
something for a dog to fetch.
pen for writing in muck/sand

If anyone knows of any further uses for Wavin be sure to post them

Star Bingo

sweat profusely when boarding the bus to "the big schmoke boi"

civis_liberalis

zerks wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRXkyX1QRB8

Is that Keano's brother, Jay?

hypermuse

chopperbyrne wrote: »

Eat in Burgermacs.

I didn't think you could find a culchier fast food place than Supermacs, but I got a huge culture shock the first time I saw a Burgermacs in Wexford.

I feccking love burger mac!! nicest chicken burger I've ever had anywhere in the world ever!! FACT!!!

Acacia

Possibly the most culchie person I ever knew was my grandad's best friend. He used to drive his tractor 5 minutes down the road to visit my grandad and he used to come out with the weirdest things. Like, one time the two of them were going out somewhere and my grandad said to the friend, " are you going home to have a bath before we leave?" and yer man said " No, sure I had one last month, I'm grand."

He also had to go for some brain operation and he thought the surgeon was going to take his head off, do the operation and then sew it back on... not sure if that's a culchie thing, or old-timey innocence though.

He also used a piece of rope/twine instead of a belt.

Sykk

John_Rambo wrote: »

Being more English than the English

Fighting after a few scoops. Eating "shpuds" and drinking tea. (all introduced by the English and embraced by our rural brethren).

What



is



this



I



dont



even


...

wobzilla1

If I start a thread called "What's the blackest thing you've ever seen a black person do?" will it be this popular?

EL_Loco

putting the milk in first into a cup of tea? I just find it weird and have only ever seen my cluchie cousins, and bogger friends do it.

Any Jackeens at this carry on? confess immediately. Transportation beyond the pale shall be arranged forthwith.

mikom

wobzilla1 wrote: »

If I start a thread called "What's the blackest thing you've ever seen a black person do?" will it be this popular?

Fo sho.

ButtersSuki

I heard a culchie go on Morning Ireland and give an interview clearly hung over a few weeks back...........

John_Rambo

Sykk wrote: »

What



is



this



I



dont



even


...

Ha! Don't worry, it's not that bad being a "West Brit".

lalee17

I was on the way to Galway for a day on the bus.

We drove through Clare or somewhere like that, and saw a type of horse festival or something. There were hundreds of horses and men in a field, selling and buying saddles and the like.

We were the only ones shitting ourselves laughing on the bus

Oh and on the way back there was a scumbag with his face full of blood, getting the shit kicked out of him by Gardaí and thrown into the back of a Garda van.

Culchies crack me up. :P