Friday Thread: Old Lady Drivers -Harbingers of Doom

Moflojo

Earlier this week I was almost mown down by a car that came out of a side road as I was cycling towards it at around 35kph. Now I'd like to attribute my avoiding an accident to my acute 'Spidie Sense' but as I approached the junction I had simply observed that the car was being driven by an old lady and reduced my speed accordingly, expecting the unexpected.
I'm pretty certain that the lady in question had, and still has, no idea that I was on the road nor that she nearly caused an accident. Having watched her before, during and after she pulled out she seemed completely oblivious to my presence and as I glanced at the driver of the car that was behind her at the junction with a 'Did you see that?' look on my face he simply smiled and shrugged his shoulders as if to say 'What did you expect?'
Now I'm not trying to round up a posse here; old ladies are generally harmless, when they're not tossing helpless moggies into wheelie bins, but does anyone else have any stories about these Demon Drivers that they'd like to share?

ednwireland

i always look out for anyone in a merc or a bmw they seem to have an over inflated opionion of something and always end up cutting me up (or something)

just tp spice things up old ladies arent a big enough target

CheGuedara

GET OFF THE STREETS!!!

DirkVoodoo

It's sad but true in a lot of cases, some older drivers are incredibly dangerous and don't have a clue what is going on around them. A while back I was driving home in heavy traffic, the kind where if you know you are changing lanes, there will be a car in your blindspot. Anyway, traffic is moving slowly and I'm looking in my rear view mirror at this old dear who decides to change lanes, she indicated but didn't look and just pulled the car to the left. She hit some young lad like a bumper car. It wasn't a bad accident at all, it was in slow moving traffic but she never even looked around, she just inidicated and moved.

I've seen elderly people fly through red lights as well, real red light jumping, i.e. the light has not just turned red, it's been red for some time and next thing a car just sails on through.

Most recently I had that old lady on Nutley avenue who didn't seem to understand what "yield right of way" meant and continuously tried to cut across me as I was heading straight. There was a lot of "me slowing, then her slowing, so I went, then she started to go". Eventually I ended up a foot from her bumper and her little head popping up over the steering wheel didn't seem at all worried that she was on the verge of (slowly) knocking me down.

Keep your eyes open!

Lumen

DirkVoodoo wrote: »

It's sad but true in a lot of cases, some young men older drivers are incredibly dangerous and don't give a shít have a clue what is going on around them. A while back I was driving home in heavy traffic, the kind where if you know you are changing lanes overtaking, there will be a car in your blindspot face. Anyway, traffic is moving slowly fast and I'm looking in my rear view mirror at this old dear stupid teenager who decides to change lanes overtake regardless of there being no space and no fúcking point to it, she indicated but didn't look and just pulled the car to the left crossed opposite carriageway. She hit some young lad family like a bumper car train wreck. It wasn't a bad accident at all, it was in slow fast moving traffic but she never even looked around ahead, she just indicated and moved.

And now people are dead. Again.

Fixed that for you.

langdang

Saw another poor old dear struggling to tame the tarmac chewing beast that is the VW golf 1.4 the other day. Seriously, could not keep it in anything resembling a straight line. Both wing mirrors folded in, no functioning brakelights. (well - 3 individual LEDs on the high level brake light were working).

She must have family? Leaving her out driving like that is pretty irresponsible, are they waiting until she has or causes an accident to have the "I'm taking your keys" conversation...

Chips Lovell

The elderly are one group of motorists I'm always particularly vigiliant around. Not that they're all bad drivers by any means, just that I've had close shaves with enough of them to warrant being careful. Like the OP, its usually in circumstances where they don't seem to notice you at all. Have a car skim by you with 1cm to spare and more often than not its some old lady driving.

DirkVoodoo

CheGuedara wrote: »

GET OFF THE STREETS!!!

I love that episode.

Jawgap

My last off-the-road foray was caused by a Beamer x-5 - didn't see the driver so don't know if it was he, she, old or young - but the report back from the Garda who dealt with it suggests male and middle-aged.

However, the following formula applies to old dears in my experience

P of an accident = 1 - (1/((Age/ (engine size of car + Y)) x cyclist speed))

where
age = age in years
engine size = the cubic capacity of the engine in litres
Y = the Yaris constant (6.042298 x 10^3)
cyclist speed = speed in km

Worked example:-

Old dear age 65 driving a Fiesta (1200cc) on to a road down which a cyclist is travelling at 30km/h then the P of the old dear causing an accident is

1 - (1/((65/1.2) x 30))
1 - (1/(54.2 x 30)
1- (1/1626)
1- 0.0006
=> 0.9994
or 99.94%

DirkVoodoo

You left out Y. Surely Y is so large that engine size doesn't matter?

Jawgap

DirkVoodoo wrote: »

You left out Y. Surely Y is so large that engine size doesn't matter?

Y only applies if the old dear is driving a Yaris - personally I think if we banned Yaris' we'd have much safer roads.

There's some possibility that a lesser T (the Toyota constant) should apply, but the scientific literature on the topic is somewhat divided on the matter.

The Toyota constant is approximately 34.5678% of the Yaris constant - once CERN have the Large Hadron Collider up and running this matter should be settled - I think the plan is to fire old dears in Yaris' around one tunnel and lycra clad roadies around the other one and see what happens when the streams cross.

DirkVoodoo

Jawgap wrote: »

Y only applies if the old dear is driving a Yaris - personally I think if we banned Yaris' we'd have much safer roads.

There's some possibility that a lesser T (the Toyota constant) should apply, but the scientific literature on the topic is somewhat divided on the matter.

The Toyota constant is approximately 34.5678% of the Yaris constant - once CERN have the Large Hadron Collider up and running this matter should be settled - I think the plan is to fire old dears in Yaris' around one tunnel and lycra clad roadies around the other one and see what happens when the streams cross.

What if she is driving a Prius with the infamous brakes? Does P just become 1?

Moflojo

Jawgap wrote: »

Y only applies if the old dear is driving a Yaris - personally I think if we banned Yaris' we'd have much safer roads.

What is the correct plural of 'Yaris'?

Yarii?

Yara?

Yaris's?

kenmc

Moflojo wrote: »

What is the correct plural of 'Yaris'?

Yarii?

Yara?

Yaris's?

I think you'll find it's "Sh!te"

Jawgap

DirkVoodoo wrote: »

What if she is driving a Prius with the infamous brakes? Does P just become 1?

i don't have any data on that - but would oul wans really go for something as new fangled as a hybrid?

Moflojo wrote: »

What is the correct plural of 'Yaris'?

Yarii?

Yara?

Yaris's?

No trolling please http://www.toyotaownersclub.com/forums/lofiversion/index.php/t58628.html

manwithaplan

I think the collective noun is a Resignation of Yarices

Jawgap

Nuns in Yaris' - now there's carnage in motion.......

Haleakala

I used to know an elderly priest who was fond of saying "It's ok, Jesus is driving". That was until Jesus got summonsed for a litany of road traffic offences.

My own harbinger of doom is when I see a yellow Taxi plate - I haven't figured out whether I mentally jump to associate those vehicles with bad driving, or the repeated close calls (random stopping, swerving into your path to avoid speed bumps, passing within a foot of you at high speed etc. etc.) have made me bitter and angry for wholly legitimate reasons

langdang

Here's a conundrum:
why is it that when I'm in a car, every corolla I see is driven by elderly couples on their way to mass very very very slowly and cautiously. But when I'm on a bike every corolla I see is driven by tracksuited schnacks who like to buzz you with their mirrors, throw coke bottles or shout loudly?

Stark

Because you overtook the Corolla on its way to Mass 30 mins ago.

Diarmuid

kenmc wrote: »

I think you'll find it's "Sh!te"

Lookin for a new car and a Yaris is on my list

DirkVoodoo

Diarmuid wrote: »

Lookin for a new car and a Yaris is on my list

I know you are a country boy, but come on, add a little style and remove some substance. The new Alfa Mito is getting decent write-ups:



Or the new fiesta, but make sure you get a well specced model, they look and feel awful with the basic layout.

Chips Lovell

The Yaris gets great write ups though. It was on my list.

Lumen

el tonto wrote: »

The Yaris gets great write ups though. It was on my list.

The Yaris is expensive and cramped. Buy a Suzuki Swift. All the cool kids grannies have one.

Chips Lovell

Lumen wrote: »

The Yaris is expensive and cramped. Buy a Suzuki Swift. All the cool kids grannies have one.

Too late. Already bought the Micra.

DirkVoodoo

el tonto wrote: »

The Yaris gets great write ups though. It was on my list.

Ahem, from autocar:

If you want space, reliability and a painless experience from your supermini, then the Yaris is a star. But, if you want to enjoy your driving, look elsewhere. Engines are vocal and the ride less than brilliant. It’s not cheap beside some rivals, either.

If you are getting a small car, it may as well be hopelessly unreliable but fun to drive. Parts are cheap and you can do a lot of the work yourself (unless it's something like a Clio, the french don't make cars that are easy to take apart).

Lumen

el tonto wrote: »

Too late. Already bought the Micra.

Mario is crying right now. He would have bought a Fiat Panda.

Chips Lovell

Lumen wrote: »

Mario is crying right now.

It goes. That is enough.

I might care more about the car I drive once I learn to drive the bloody thing.

DirkVoodoo

Lumen wrote: »

Mario is crying right now. He would have bought a Fiat Panda.

Great car. I think I mentioned my new "dream" car to Levitronix a while back:

Fiat 500 Abarth 695 Tributo Ferrari. If that isn't the most awesome little city car out there!

Lumen

DirkVoodoo wrote: »

Fiat 500 Abarth 695 Tributo Ferrari. If that isn't the most awesome little city car out there!

They may as well call it the "Fiat 500 TriTooHard".

The point of driving a tiny little Italian car is to state to the world that your masculinity is beyond question because you're just popping out to buy nibbles for your villa full of podium girls.

Chips Lovell

Lads, what's the point of spending money on a car when you could be spending it on bikes.

Jawgap

Diarmuid wrote: »

Lookin for a new car and a Yaris is on my list

Why?

Are you:-
a) A grandfather

b) A priest (or member of a religious order)

c) A 50 year old spinster teacher in a girls national school in the Gaeltacht

d) Hip to be square.......


:)

Jawgap

Surely OREC requires a cyclist to drive an Alfa or a FIAT? Maybe a Ferrari eventually, but anything Japanese is surely out.

French cars? maybe and German cars only if your Jens:)

I seem to recall Nicolas Roche discussing himself and de burd buying an Alfa in his Tour Diary.

looksee

Those little old lady drivers are so dangerous the insurance companies are afraid to charge them mad insurance....

Hermy

DirkVoodoo wrote: »

It's sad but true in a lot of cases, some older/ younger/ taxi/ bus/ van /truck/ car/ ambulance drivers are incredibly dangerous...

Take your pick.:(

tomasrojo

Moflojo wrote: »

old ladies are generally harmless, when they're not tossing helpless moggies into wheelie bins

I saw on the news the other day that the cat-hurting lady, Mary Bale, is actually 45, about the same age as the identically initialled Monica Belluci.

Jawgap

How to deal with oldies - Yaris drivers all:-

Milan Cobian

Old one nearly knocked me over recently when changing lanes without bothering to look or indicate. She stopped at the next lights a few seconds later so I lknocked on the window. The conversation went like this:
Her: Excuse me, do you know where Kenilworth motors is?
Me: You nearly knocked me down just now.
Her: Yes, I think it's straight up here, do you know?
Me: I don't care where it is, you nearly knocked me down a moment ago.
Her: It's somewhere around here.
Me: Listen carefully to what I'm saying, you nearly caused an accident with bad driving. Do you understand? You almost knocked me down.
Her: really? ok. I'll just continue this way.

No apology of course. Senile old bat.