My dog died and I'm so upset

awman

She died 4 weeks ago today. I've literally just been present, my life means basically nothing since she's gone. I've spent the last 4 weeks crying. The first two weeks I cried all the time and didnt care who saw me. The last two weeks I've been trying to hide it from people because everyone expects me to be fine by now. Nobody really understands how much i'm hurting. Because "its a dog" I somehow should be able to get on with things. I'm extremely fragile at the moment so i'm pleading for no callous messages about how "its only a dog". This dog meant the world to me. I had her from when she was only 7 weeks old. She was my bestest friend in the world. She was given to me as a present for my 23rd birthday by my boyfriend (who is now my husband). I fell head over heels in love with her from that day on. She got very sick the last couple of months and in the end she was suffering. We had to make the decision to have her put to sleep. She was only 4. I cant believe she's gone. I'm having trouble sleeping at night and when I eventually do sleep I wake up in the morning realising she's gone and i physically feel pain in my chest. I'm lost without her. We did everything together. Everywhere I went, she went too. I never had a moment to myself (even if I left the room to go to the bathroom she'd follow me). The house feels so empty now and everywhere I look I'm reminded of her. I feel so lonely without her. My husband was very fond of her too but he seems to be able to get on with things. We dont have kids yet so she was like a child to me. I miss her so much.

seamus

You should deal with the loss of your dog exactly the same way as you would deal with the loss of any close family member. Be open about your grief, allow yourself to grieve, and to hell with anyone who makes nonsense comments - who cares what they think?

It's especially tough when a dog has to go before their time. It's a cliche, but time does heal all wounds. You won't forget her, you will always have a special place in your heart for her. Take solace in the joy she brought you and the great home and family you were to her. She had a happy life.

musicinyou

I actually feel sad reading this, i honestly do my heart totally goes out to you cause i am the the very same way with my dog, hes just magic so i feel the cut in my heart reading your problem,,

unfortunatly only time will make things better but you have so many good memorys and hey you never no maybe in the next life you will once again meet! dont be afraid to cry, its normal to cry for something you loved so much, it only shows how real you are.

i wish you well and im sorry to hear aboout your loss.

dragona

awman, I know exactly how you feel Of course you are hurting, and will hurt for a long time. There is no easy way. You are not fine by now, and I know that it feels as if a piece of your heart has been ripped out.

My darling dog died two years ago, he was nearly six, and the night he died at home (he had canine leishmaniasis) I lay down on the floor next to him and wailed all night. I literally wanted to die too, just to be with him. I really did. Could not imagine living another day without him, he was my absolute soul mate, we had such a connection, and I miss him desperately, every single day. There is not a day I don't think of him - I loved him so, with every fibre of my being, and I still get physical pangs of pain when I think of him, and know I will never see him again.

I cried daily for months and months, still do:( I have my maudlin moments even now when I will sob and sob, I can hardly believe I have carried on living without him. But I have, and so will you, because you have to. It is a fact of life that our beloved animals will one day no longer be with us. The agony you feel now will take a long time to go, I know, but slowly slowly you will carry on. I do feel for you, and I am so so sorry. (((((hugs)))))

Canard

I'm the same. My dog had to be put down on Tuesday. I had her since I was very young, and she was only a few weeks old. I completely understand the "its just a dog" mentality - its a dog, but its your dog.

My dog was sick too, really sick. What I do when I miss her is just think - should I really want her back? I realized it would be selfish to want her back, she was suffering. If a dog is sick and is put down, its for the best. I think sometimes we hold onto animals too long, denying to ourselves that they're not enjoying their lives.

I hope you're okay, she wouldnt have been happy if she was sick anyway.

Cherry Blossom

Hi OP, so sorry for your loss , try and find some outlet for your grief, you could try writing down your thoughts and the good times you had. When my horse died I took his front shoes, headcollar and a poem to a photographic studio and they had them arranged in a frame with a few favourite photos. I found a little piece of hair from his tail stuck to a fence and I literally carried it with me every where I went for months! Trust me it will get better with time but it took me over a year and a half before I felt ready to get another horse. Don't feel pressured that you should feel better about it by this stage, take you time if you need to and find your own way of dealing with it.

morganafay

I'm so sorry I felt exactly the same when my dog died, she was only 2 so very young like yours. It does get easier, but you just have to go through the grief. Don't worry what other people think, if they can't understand how important dogs can be to people, then I feel sorry for them.

Shivers26

I'm so sorry you lost your girl. Making the decision to have a much loved pet PTS must be awful.
Grieve the loss in your own way and always remember her fondly.

My rescue boy Prince passed away in March and we miss him every day.

omerin

Sorry to hear that. I wish there was a way of prolonging a pets life, 10 years is too short and 4 years is way too short. My dog is 6, these kind of stories make you appreciate your pet even more, i'm off now to mess around with him for a bit

Skinback

awman wrote: »

She died 4 weeks ago today. I've literally just been present, my life means basically nothing since she's gone. I've spent the last 4 weeks crying. The first two weeks I cried all the time and didnt care who saw me. The last two weeks I've been trying to hide it from people because everyone expects me to be fine by now. Nobody really understands how much i'm hurting. Because "its a dog" I somehow should be able to get on with things. I'm extremely fragile at the moment so i'm pleading for no callous messages about how "its only a dog". This dog meant the world to me. I had her from when she was only 7 weeks old. She was my bestest friend in the world. She was given to me as a present for my 23rd birthday by my boyfriend (who is now my husband). I fell head over heels in love with her from that day on. She got very sick the last couple of months and in the end she was suffering. We had to make the decision to have her put to sleep. She was only 4. I cant believe she's gone. I'm having trouble sleeping at night and when I eventually do sleep I wake up in the morning realising she's gone and i physically feel pain in my chest. I'm lost without her. We did everything together. Everywhere I went, she went too. I never had a moment to myself (even if I left the room to go to the bathroom she'd follow me). The house feels so empty now and everywhere I look I'm reminded of her. I feel so lonely without her. My husband was very fond of her too but he seems to be able to get on with things. We dont have kids yet so she was like a child to me. I miss her so much.

So sorry for you.....sometimes I think the only solution might be to organise to give your affection and home to another doggy.
Maybe try the Dogs Trust.

Galway K9

sorry to hear bud

EGAR

Losing a beloved companion is very very tough. We each deal differently with this scenario and other people often find it very difficult to deal with a grieving person, especially if ,in their mind, you grief longer than they deem appropriate.

I think getting a new dog at this stage could be a mistake as you cannot replace your dog. The new dog will not be the same and as long as the grief is still to fresh you might expect the new dog to be something he or she is not.

Take your time, grief will run its course, as someone else has already said, it's something only time can heal. Don't mind what other people think, they are not you, they do not know what you feel.

Perhaps grief counselling will help with your pain.

goat2

what breed of dog was she
what colour was she
do you have pictures
if so have one blown up and framed put it up as a memory to her
and dont forget
animals are gods creatures too
so you will meet again some day
i too have been where you are, you will never forget her
but the hurt will ease

Shazanne

My heart is breaking for you - although it is already broken by the loss of my cat on February 11th 2008. I had had him for over 15 years. In the course of those years my husband left me and both my children grew up and left for college/travel etc. So it was just Mog and me. He was my reason for getting up, my reason for coming home and as Dragona said, I could not face living without him. I tried so hard to save him - I gave him a daily fluid drip at home and his injections and tablets but really I may just have prolonged his suffering. He was put to sleep when his kidneys completely failed - I almost screamed the vet's surgery down. As he left his world I would have given anything to take that lethal fluid out of his system and bring him back. I had him cremated and have his ashes with me always - I always will.
Ignore what people say about your grief - I still cry for Mog and, if you think people don't understand when it's a dog, it's actually worse when it's a cat.
I have since re-married and left the house that Mog and I shared, which to be honest was a huge relief to me as I dont think I could have stayed there without him. I saw him everywhere, heard him every day. There were times I thought I was going mad.
Now, two and a half years later, I have two rescue dogs, Millie and Max. I love them to bits but I realise that they are pets. I spoil them, enjoy them and treat them like royalty, but they are not my "children" - Mog was a child to me.
I sympathise with you OP, I truly do. I never want to feel that awful pain again. Have you ever heard of www.petloss.com - I found it a good source of comfort. You can post a tribute to your pet and read stories from others who fully understand what you are going through. I highly recommend it. Take good care of yourself XXXXX

Outkast_IRE

Anyone who has kept a dog and was so close to it , and had to put it down , felt like you do . Everyone takes time to grieve , the important thing is that you deal with it now as you see fit , never mind what anyone else thinks.
You have lost a member of the family its ok to grieve.

crazyderk

I know now its hard but as the old saying goes time is a great healer.
Things will get a little easier day by day
Also be happy for your dog that he/she had a loving home and best friend who loved him/her so much a lot of animals are not that lucky unfortunately.

I hope this poem helps, it always brings a tear to my eye!

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

angelxx

Hi OP. I'm so sorry for your loss, I know exactly how you feel my dog had to be put down and I was literally heartbroken. A pet can become part of your family and everyday life. It's absolutely awful when they die. Hope you feel better soon.

LadyTBolt

OP - My sympathies are with you. My dog died a year and a half ago and I still grieve for him. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't share a thought for him. I loved him so much. My children loved him so much.

When I woke every morning he would be looking up at me all happy and that made me happy. When I cooked he would always be at my feet. When I went to the shower he would be waiting outside the bathroom door. When I went to work he would be sitting on the window sill when I got home waiting for me. At night, in the middle of the night he would come to my side of the bed and paw my hand. I'd then pull back the duvet and he would jump up and sleep at my feet.

He was my first house dog and I loved him deeply. When he died it was the worst time of my life. Time does not heal but it does help you cope better. Some people said don't get another dog for some time as you will never replace him. Others said get another dog as it will help you get over him. I never wanted to and never will want to get over him. His picture is on my fridge and it will stay there forever.

But I did have a think about it and I thought - He was a rescue dog and we brought him into our home as we had a good home and lots of love to offer an unwanted dog. A few weeks after my dog had died I thought I will never replace my dog but I still have a space in my home for an unwanted dog needing a home and lots of love and I felt there was a dog out there that needs this space. I picked up a dog here on boards over a year ago and I'm so happy I did as if I didn't he would have most likely been put down. I look at my dog now and I tell him all about the last dog I had and how they would've made great friends.

I hope your pain subsides soon and you always keep the memory of your dog close to your heart. When you are ready you will find another dog but always remember you are not replacing him but instead you are giving another dog a loving home which you know you have to offer.

ISDW

Our dogs are part of our family, so it is totally natural to grieve for them as such. Everybody grieves in their own way, no way is wrong, just get through as best you can, it will get easier I promise. I have a few dogs here that are mine, but I lost a very, very special boy on August 31st two years ago and I am very aware that his anniversary is coming up. I still miss him so much, but it does get easier.

Don't be hard on yourself for feeling like this, there are lots of us in the world who have been through this kind of loss and completely understand what you're going through.

cjf

I Stood Beside Your Bed Last Night



I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly, as you brushed away a tear.
"It’s me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here"

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea.
You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, your arms were getting sore.
I want to take your parcels, I wished I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house as you fumbled for the key,
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "It's me".

You looked so very tired and then you sank into a chair,
I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.

It’s possible for me to be so near you everyday,
To say to you with certainty "I never went away".

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew,
That in the stillness of that evening I was very close to you.

The day is over.... I smile and watch you yawning and say,
"Good Night, Sweet Dreams, God Bless, I'll see you in the morning".

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush to greet you and we’ll stand together side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there's much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out; then come home and be with me.


This one is on my fridge with pics of the dogs iv lost over the years. The do leave footprints on the heart and while it get easier I still do miss them and think of them often!

awman

I'm so grateful to everybody that has replied to me. Thank you all so much for being so considerate.

A friend contacted me saying someone she knows has 3 dogs (all 8 months old) who he could no longer keep as he lost his job and couldnt afford to feed them. These dogs have been in a run since they were born and have had very little human contact (apart from being fed once a day). They were not given names or anything.
We went to see them and before I knew it we had one of them in the car with us going home. I've got such mixed emotions at the moment. I feel very guilty that i now have this new dog and at the same time happy that we are able to give this dog a home where she will be loved and cared for.
My dog that died was such a jealous type. She'd go mental if she saw me peting any other animals. She would often even get jealous if me and my husband were cuddling. She'd squeeze her way in between us. She hated being left out. I just miss her so much.
She is gone one month today. She died on the 30th of July. I feel so guilty. She's only gone one month and I already have another dog. I honestly never thought I'd get another dog again. I feel like I've betrayed her which sounds so stupid I know but that's how I feel. My husband keeps saying "if parents lost a child, would they be betraying their lost child by having another child?" and I know this is the way I should be looking at it. I'm just so full of emotion at the moment.
cjf, that poem is beautiful. I just bawled my head off reading it.

bryaner

awman wrote: »

I'm so grateful to everybody that has replied to me. Thank you all so much for being so considerate.

A friend contacted me saying someone she knows has 3 dogs (all 8 months old) who he could no longer keep as he lost his job and couldnt afford to feed them. These dogs have been in a run since they were born and have had very little human contact (apart from being fed once a day). They were not given names or anything.
We went to see them and before I knew it we had one of them in the car with us going home. I've got such mixed emotions at the moment. I feel very guilty that i now have this new dog and at the same time happy that we are able to give this dog a home where she will be loved and cared for.
My dog that died was such a jealous type. She'd go mental if she saw me peting any other animals. She would often even get jealous if me and my husband were cuddling. She'd squeeze her way in between us. She hated being left out. I just miss her so much.
She is gone one month today. She died on the 30th of July. I feel so guilty. She's only gone one month and I already have another dog. I honestly never thought I'd get another dog again. I feel like I've betrayed her which sounds so stupid I know but that's how I feel. My husband keeps saying "if parents lost a child, would they be betraying their lost child by having another child?" and I know this is the way I should be looking at it. I'm just so full of emotion at the moment.
cjf, that poem is beautiful. I just bawled my head off reading it.

Very sorry for your loss.

Don't feel guilty or in anyway bad your new dog will make you feel better in time. A year ago our faithful westie passed away and the whole family was very upset (my youngest son vomited for 2 days), I put my foot down and said never anymore dogs in this house.

Long story short the missus went and got a new puppy on the quiet a few
months later, I was none too impressed at the time but now it's great to have
my little buddy and wouldn't have it any other way.

But we still remember Dexter fondly .


Edit: and so much for me putting my foot down

ISDW

I think that its fantastic that you've rescued another dog and given it a loving home. When my childhood dog died and I got another one, I didn't like her for a while, because she wasn't Scamp, but she wheedled her way into my heart and she died a few months ago aged almost 17, she was an amazing girl, very much her own dog, she wasn't Scamp, she could never replace him, but she was Murphy, a special dog in her own right. This new one that you've taken in will be the same.

It won't replace your dog, but it will become your dog if that makes sense.

Well done.

sillybuttons

im so sorry to hear about your dog. ive just gotten a new puppy and i adore him so i can only imagine how awful it is for you! your better letting it all out that trying to hide your pain. dont mind people who thinks its daft to be upset about 'just a dog'! imo dogs are nicer than people most of the time! dont be afaaid to grieve, we all understand here.

crazygeryy

i hope your coping better as each day goes by.and im really sorry for your loss.i have a dog its my first and i dread the day that happens.
as with the other person id love to see a pic of the dog or at least know what kind of dog he was.

take care.


this is an open question : does getting a new dog/puppy help?

awman

Sorry I meant to put that in my first post, she was a Boxer. She was beautiful. I've never come across a dog with such a good nature. She'd have done anything for me and I'd have done anything for her. I'm not really sure how to attach a picture. I'll try attaching one now

awman

Wasnt sure if i was doing that right but it seems to have worked. Thanks again to those who sent me kind words. I really really appreciate it.

Kevo

Sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. My dog died in March. I got him when I was 6 and now I'm 23 so I pretty much grew up with him. I tend to bottle up these things so people aren't aware how much I miss him.

Unfortunately I can't get another, though I couldn't replace him. Instead I've started walking dogs from the pound and hopefully I'll have time to foster one for a while. Maybe you should try this?

sambuka41

So sorry to hear about your little guy OP. Mine baby died in February I was heart broken, he died suddenly. The next day i got an email from Irishanimals it was their newsletter with a piece in it about greiving the loss of a pet, and it really helped me. I like to think it was Scotty's way to helping me along (i dont remembering signing up to the newsletter;)).

Heres the link,its a really great article.

http://irishanimals.newsweaver.ie/newsletter/3cpqqodyida

Shazanne

awman wrote: »

Sorry I meant to put that in my first post, she was a Boxer. She was beautiful. I've never come across a dog with such a good nature. She'd have done anything for me and I'd have done anything for her. I'm not really sure how to attach a picture. I'll try attaching one now

She's a real beauty. Treasure her memory and think how proud she would be to see her loving "Mummy" giving a home to a new little dog. Well done to you:)

tallus

So sorry to hear about your dog OP.

This has been posted here in the past but it never gets old for me. Just to show you that you're not alone and everyone feels the loss of a cherished pet,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUNJjIwlHk8