Confusing signals/body language...

fonecrusher1

I was in a club last night with my buddy standing, having a pint & a laugh. The place was packed. 2 women make their way towards us from the crowd as there was a small unoccupied area in front of us.
Minutes later one of them is standing directly in front me occasionally accidentally backing into me nudging my pint held in my hand. Also she was constantly flicking her hair a lot but sure most women fiddle with their hair if its long anyway. I think?

My buddy; yup, your on there!;)
Me; What are you on about? Because a girl stands in front of you does not mean she's interested.

To be honest i didn't pick up that the girl was interested in me whatsoever & whatever my buddy was seeing was a mystery to me.

Anyone fluent in body language???

elleburp

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

My buddy; yup, your on there!;)
Me; What are you on about? Because a girl stands in front of you does not mean she's interested.

You're right there, but if she's constantly nudging you then she probably was interested.... Weird that she didn't turn to apologise for constantly bumping into you though. You'd think that would warrant an apology or a smile from her to break the ice

theg81der

Sounds like your bud is one of those deluded guy that thinks if you say hello it means he`s in there. To me it sounds like you were completely irrelevant to her, she couldn`t even be bother to apologise for nudgin you. Might have been someone elses attention she was vying for.

girvtheswerve

Its all a complex combination of guesswork and luck as far as im concerned:p

fonecrusher1

elleburp wrote: »

You're right there, but if she's constantly nudging you then she probably was interested....

Honestly i don't think so. Or maybe im thick. Dunno?

The place was packed & busy so any contact was more than likely accidental/involuntary. She did look at me once & also apologised at one stage to which i replied 'no problem'.

Its tricky.

elleburp

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

The place was packed & busy so any contact was more than likely accidental/involuntary. She did look at me once & also apologised at one stage to which i replied 'no problem'.

Why do you not think she was interested?

fonecrusher1

elleburp wrote: »

Why do you not think she was interested?

Because she was stunning.

johnmacward

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Because she was stunning.

You don't sound like the type of dude who exudes confidence, remember having a little chat will never kill. Having no chat causes regret and a visit to boards to outline your regret - there's a good chance she was interested.

OldGoat

Boys and girls really need to learn then boys don't do body language. We don't understand 'Subtle'. The rare sensative man may be taught a few rudiments of the language for for most of us it is as impenitrable as the Navaho language was to the Japanise.

Boys, if you think someone is giving you a positive hint then go and talk to her. Don't second guess.
Girls, if you are giving subtle body language hints to someone you like and he dosen't respond it's because WE DON'T UNDERSTAND. Talk to us instead...please.

Herbal Deity

There should really be an ISO standard for flirting.

Would make life so much easier.

stupidusername

This got me laughing.

poor fonecrusher ..... some girls are really subtle about these things. If the place was really packed she may not have had a choice, but at the same time if she really didn't want you getting the wrong idea she may have made more of an effort not to hit off you. BUT this may also have been her way of making something that meant you two had to talk....

The point is ..... no one knows except for her. you should've just made an effort to talk to her, and gauging her reaction you would've figured it out.

Remember it's not just girls that do these things!

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Honestly i don't think so. Or maybe im thick. Dunno?

The place was packed & busy so any contact was more than likely accidental/involuntary. She did look at me once & also apologised at one stage to which i replied 'no problem'.

Its tricky.

If it was me, and I was interested in the guy, and this was my POA, and you just said 'no problem' I would think, hmmm he's polite and nice but he's not interested / really didn't get the hint. so it's hard to tell. If this is what she was at, she may have thought you weren't into her as she had made the connection and you didn't use it to talk to her.... But that's just what I think, and I'm pretty clueless when it comes to people in general

homerun_homer

I've such a problem with chit chatting with strangers (well, of the female sort) so if someone was obviously making an effort with body language I'd feel a little frozen to do something about it.

It all depends on my mindset, mood and whether I'm in an on form to at least start a conversation with something good.

fonecrusher1

homerun_homer wrote: »

It all depends on my mindset, mood and whether I'm in an on form to at least start a conversation with something good.

Well thats the thing, it was a last minute decision to head into this place, i wasn't exactly in try-to-chat-up-a-woman mode, i was unshaven (almost bearded), pair of jeans & a t-shirt & probably not looking too good so i didn't want to impose my scruffiness on the poor girl.:D

I also find conversations in nightclubs with extremely loud music go something like this; (Loud music in background) me: Hows it going... her:what?.... me:hows it going... her:sorry?....me:what?... her:what?....me:doesn't matter.....her:what?...

Translation: nightclubs are not great places for talking.

KyussBishop

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

I also find conversations in nightclubs with extremely loud music go something like this; (Loud music in background) me: Hows it going... her:what?.... me:hows it going... her:sorry?....me:what?... her:what?....me:doesn't matter.....her:what?...

lol, yes sympathize with this; not from trying to chat anyone up, but reminds of a recent meet I was at, where half my conversation of the night consisted of 'WHAT???'.

entropi

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Well thats the thing, it was a last minute decision to head into this place, i wasn't exactly in try-to-chat-up-a-woman mode, i was unshaven (almost bearded), pair of jeans & a t-shirt & probably not looking too good so i didn't want to impose my scruffiness on the poor girl.:D

This here screams to me that you were in your element tbh, quite comfortable in your appearance and how you dressed...that exudes confidence to me and it has happened to me before while out, women pick up on that ya know:) You probably should have done something, could have surprised yourself!

Snowie

homerun_homer wrote: »

It all depends on my mindset, mood and whether I'm in an on form to at least start a conversation with something good.

Thats like saying your shy. Your allready defeating your self I never go out on the pull I go out to have a good time and damm well make sure I do If theres a woman im interested il make the effort but I aint standing around talking to her for ever.

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Because she was stunning.

so shes only good lookin.... at the end of it if shes got the personality of a lead weight what use is she :pac:

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Well thats the thing, it was a last minute decision to head into this place, i wasn't exactly in try-to-chat-up-a-woman mode, i was unshaven (almost bearded), pair of jeans & a t-shirt & probably not looking too good so i didn't want to impose my scruffiness on the poor girl.:D

I also find conversations in nightclubs with extremely loud music go something like this; (Loud music in background) me: Hows it going... her:what?.... me:hows it going... her:sorry?....me:what?... her:what?....me:doesn't matter.....her:what?...

Translation: nightclubs are not great places for talking.

Do you reallise how many women go for the attractive stuble rugged look... LOTS

How I deal with the club thing is quite simple chat to her get her number approach her at the end of the night, were going to get food wanna come?

at which point you have all the time in the world to talk at which point you can close and have a kiss followed bye food....

go your seprate ways send her a text asking did she get home ok and then find the bottel of rum i stashed in my room while playing cards and drinking more with my mates Its as easy as 123

homerun_homer

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

Thats like saying your shy. Your allready defeating your self I never go out on the pull I go out to have a good time and damm well make sure I do If theres a woman im interested il make the effort but I aint standing around talking to her for ever.

Am not gonna deny that I have shy moments, and shy moments lead to mental block with conversations for me - hence what I wrote.

How I deal with the club thing is quite simple chat to her get her number approach her at the end of the night, were going to get food wanna come?

at which point you have all the time in the world to talk at which point you can close and have a kiss followed bye food....

go your seprate ways send her a text asking did she get home ok and then find the bottel of rum i stashed in my room while playing cards and drinking more with my mates Its as easy as 123

You've lost the point of the thread here - it's not about how to pull, it's about body language, it's mixed signals, misinterpretation & the confusion on whether to act on it or not.

you just read this

homerun_homer wrote: »

You've lost the point of the thread here - it's not about how to pull, it's about body language, it's mixed signals, misinterpretation & the confusion on whether to act on it or not.

Yea but it was a 'pulling' situation and the op wanted to know how to act on the womans' body language. I say always act regardless of signals and body language. Shows you have balls and do your own thing

clarke1991

backing into you can sometimes be obvious. was in a smoking area sitting on one of theese benches at the weekend i was facing towards the bench talking to a friend the other side. one girl sat down beside me talking to her friend who was standing up. she was leaning against me as much as possible. and this was early in the night and the place was still fairly empty. after a while when i didnt bother with her she just moved on

DonkeyStyle \o/

There's another confusing signal, which is girls being overly generous with their laughter/giggling... then going too far and laughing at things that weren't funny... it makes you wonder if they're maybe just a bit unhinged.

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Also she was constantly flicking her hair a lot

"Excuse me, I'd appreciate it if you didn't flick your disgusting dandruff into my drink".

cyberwolf77

OldGoat wrote: »

Boys and girls really need to learn then boys don't do body language. We don't understand 'Subtle'.

Thank you. Body language is mostly just a closed book to me. I understand only the most obvious portions of the language. In short ladies, come and get it if you want it.

Chewabacca

Body language can be very difficult to read.

This weekend at a gig the girl in front was more or less grinding off me for an hour and butting in when i spoke to my mates but didnt want anything to do with me as soon as the music stopped. She was fairly sober as well. Unbelievable, I'm bad at reading things like that but feckin hell you'd think that an hour of a girl grinding off you means that you're in.

Long story short, some girls are impossible to read. You're case seems like the girl was very rude and didn't feel like she owed u an apology for bumping into you.

entropi

I've said it on Boards many times before:

Ladies, you need to be as subtle as a brick to the face:pac:

Echoing cyberwolf's comment: come and get it if you want it.

stupidusername

Do guys not get any body language, or is it just when it comes to flirting?

And how is a girl meant to 'come and get it' if she doesn't know what the guy thinks? Is a girl meant to just go around to any guy she fancies and say 'i fancy you'? Cause that doesn't work either! :pac:

OldGoat

stupidusername wrote: »

Do guys not get any body language, or is it just when it comes to flirting?

And how is a girl meant to 'come and get it' if she doesn't know what the guy thinks? Is a girl meant to just go around to any guy she fancies and say 'i fancy you'? Cause that doesn't work either! :pac:

It's infinantly more helpful then standing there, twirling your finger in your hair and expecting us to KNOW from that gesture that "you fancy me but your not on for a full on relationahip yet, just a coffee and a cuddle and we'll see how it goes from there but only if you shave your beard off and wear a Sligo GAA gersy with converse kept clean - on a Tuesday".

Even here on Boards you've seen how often the written word can be misinterpted so how do you really expect a line of communication between strangers based on the batting of an eyelash to work?
Talk to us. It works.

Snowie

homerun_homer wrote: »

Am not gonna deny that I have shy moments, and shy moments lead to mental block with conversations for me - hence what I wrote.



You've lost the point of the thread here - it's not about how to pull, it's about body language, it's mixed signals, misinterpretation & the confusion on whether to act on it or not.

what use is body language when your shy?

I think your missing the point. Quit hiding behinde a blanket of shyness and go out and meet women...
Plenty of people have given load of points heres mine.

Its called experience. I dont have much experience with women... plenty of us lack... But how do we get experence bye living it, yet because were a little unconfidant we go of searching ways to know a little more but to be honest theres only one way to get experence and thats to put your self out there

stupidusername

OldGoat wrote: »

It's infinantly more helpful then standing there, twirling your finger in your hair and expecting us to KNOW from that gesture that "you fancy me but your not on for a full on relationahip yet, just a coffee and a cuddle and we'll see how it goes from there but only if you shave your beard off and wear a Sligo GAA gersy with converse kept clean - on a Tuesday".

Even here on Boards you've seen how often the written word can be misinterpted so how do you really expect a line of communication between strangers based on the batting of an eyelash to work?
Talk to us. It works.

you so funny oldgoat! there's no signal for all that! :pac:

Ah no, I'm not one for games at all, but I'm tellin ya the direct approach doesn't work either!

Snowie

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

what use is body language when your shy?

I think your missing the point. Quit hiding behinde a blanket of shyness and go out and meet women...
Plenty of people have given load of points heres mine.

Its called experience. I dont have much experience with women... plenty of us lack... But how do we get experence bye living it, yet because were a little unconfidant we go of searching ways to know a little more but to be honest theres only one way to get experence and thats to put your self out there

bit of leacherey never hurt a girl :pac:

OldGoat

stupidusername wrote: »

but I'm tellin ya the direct approach doesn't work either!

Then we, as a species, are doomed to dwindle out.

fonecrusher1

OldGoat wrote: »

Talk to us. It works.

Ah now this works for me. I prefer the more direct appoach, cuts out all the second guessing.

Example; Month & a half ago, standing in a pub (late bar), there was a small group of women standing next to us. After half an hour one of these girls asks me if i was security? as in; a bouncer? She thought i looked like i was a bodyguard or something?? After a few minutes of getting a couple of subtle compliments? the 3 cogs in my head started turning & i realised she was actually interested.

We ended up talking for the rest of the night & having a right laugh & i got her number.:)

stupidusername

OldGoat wrote: »

Then we, as a species, are doomed to dwindle out.

Huzzah!

Handsome Bob

cyberwolf77 wrote: »

Thank you. Body language is mostly just a closed book to me. I understand only the most obvious portions of the language. In short ladies, come and get it if you want it.

Master of Nothing wrote: »

I've said it on Boards many times before:

Ladies, you need to be as subtle as a brick to the face:pac:

Echoing cyberwolf's comment: come and get it if you want it.

The only problem with that lads is that the women are probably thinking the exact same thing. So here we all are, all stubborn as fcuk, all refusing to make the first move! :P :pac:

cyberwolf77

I am very clear in expressing my desires. I use my hat what says,"Breathe if you're horny." Works quite well to be honest

Nervous Wreck

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

Its called experience.

Yes x 1,000

Look, there's no hard and fast rules for flirting or acting out/reading body language. A lot of men, a lot of women use the same signals and those are the ones you hear about. But even they aren't set in stone.

"She flicked her hair, that means she likes me!"
"I flicked my hair, it was getting in the way."


The only way you're gonna pick up on signals from the preferred sex, be they conscious or otherwise, is to live it. Go out and talk to women. Or talk to men. Or, and this is just how I prefer to view it, talk to everybody. The more you speak to people, the better a conversationalist you become. The better you get at conversing, the more you enjoy it. The more you enjoy it, the less you stress about it. The less you stress about having a simple conversation, the more natural and thus attractive you are. It's about developing your personality to the point where you realise that not everything is about picking up a girl/guy on a night out and if you just let go of that idea and enjoy being out and being yourself and talking to people, you'll have a much better chance of finding someone that you have a genuine rapport with.

At the same time, if all you are into at the moment is getting with randomers on a night out (and there's nothing wrong with that at all either), this is all just as important. It's a life lesson and a life skill. Conversation. Go figure.

princeofparma

Body language in a club or bar? Let's all just get back to basics shall we?

If a single woman is in a pub or a bar at all it means she is interested.
That's the only body language you need to know. She went to the trouble of going out tonite and she happens to be in the same bar or club as you.
Her body is inside the same building as your body.
If a guy sees her and thinks 'hmmm she looks nice' he should just cut to the chase and go over and talk to her.
End of.

OldGoat

princeofparma wrote: »

If a single woman is in a pub or a bar at all it means she is interested.

Or she's just out for a drink and has absolutely no interest in you whatsoever.:rolleyes:

fonecrusher1

princeofparma wrote: »

Body language in a club or bar? Let's all just get back to basics shall we?

If a single woman is in a pub or a bar at all it means she is interested.
That's the only body language you need to know. She went to the trouble of going out tonite and she happens to be in the same bar or club as you.
Her body is inside the same building as your body.
If a guy sees her and thinks 'hmmm she looks nice' he should just cut to the chase and go over and talk to her.
End of.

Yeah guys like this usually have a hit/miss ratio of 1/1000!!!!

princeofparma

OldGoat wrote: »

Or she's just out for a drink and has absolutely no interest in you whatsoever.:rolleyes:

You'll never know unless you make a move.:D

princeofparma

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Yeah guys like this usually have a hit/miss ratio of 1/1000!!!!

If you don't go up and talk to women the hit/miss percentage will be 0%.
The way I look at it, if there are women in a club or bar who are single and who want to meet a man the % chance of a snog or sex is very high. When you realise that the majority of the guys are drunk, are not talking to women and are going home alone, you will find that you have an even higher % chance of bagging a chick.:D

fonecrusher1

princeofparma wrote: »

You'll never know unless you make a move.:D

Ive no problem making a move if im given the right signals.

Going round to every single girl in a nightclub & trying to chat them up is a bit desperate & thats a trait i don't think too many women find attractive!

But i do agree with you that sometimes you have to just have to give it a go & see what happens.:)

OldGoat

princeofparma wrote: »

You'll never know unless you make a move.:D

That I agree with. Strike up a conversation. If she is interested then you'll soon know and if she's not interested you know even sooner.

princeofparma

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Going round to every single girl in a nightclub & trying to chat them up is a bit desperate & thats a trait i don't think too many women find attractive!

Or they might see a guy who is talking to everybody, having fun, making people laugh, entertaining the women and having the time of his life?
Maybe women in the club or bar will wonder who he is and they might want to meet him too?

It beats standing on your own holding a pint in your hand looking like a muppet doesn't it?:)

Potatofarl

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Ah now this works for me. I prefer the more direct appoach, cuts out all the second guessing.

Example; Month & a half ago, standing in a pub (late bar), there was a small group of women standing next to us. After half an hour one of these girls asks me if i was security? as in; a bouncer? She thought i looked like i was a bodyguard or something?? After a few minutes of getting a couple of subtle compliments? the 3 cogs in my head started turning & i realised she was actually interested.

We ended up talking for the rest of the night & having a right laugh & i got her number.:)

Haha I love it, This made me LOL!

fonecrusher1

princeofparma wrote: »

Or they might see a guy who is talking to everybody, having fun, making people laugh, entertaining the women and having the time of his life?
Maybe women in the club or bar will wonder who he is and they might want to meet him too?

Yeah thats what most desperados think after 10 pints.:):D

princeofparma

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Yeah thats what most desperados think after 10 pints.:):D

The only desperados are the guys who never make a move.
You don't need to drink 10 pints. A pint is only a prop you hold in your hand while you talk to women. It's even better to not drink at all when you are on the pull.

stupidusername

I've been the victim of confusing / mixed signals, only this is a little further on than at the stage mentioned.

I actually remember a similar situation in school. I was good friends with this guy in my class, and he was always a little flirty, though it's a long time ago so can't remember how exactly. my friend spoke to him about it and asked did he like me, of course then he said he didn't. but the flirting still continued. absolutely wrecked my head.

In the same situation again now. People should learn where boundaries are with people who are 'just friends'. No wonder I've ended up so confused.

I don't know why guys can't decide what they really want from someone. I mean it's just a mean thing to lead someone to think something else is going on.

BopNiblets

Haha, some of my friends are mad for this, always thinking loads of girls are "eyef*cking" them from across the bar, it's fun to watch their egos soar outta control!

Meanwhile I actually picked up on some arm touching recently with a girl and a few drinks and dances later,
Smoochytown, population: ME!

cocoa

stupidusername wrote: »

I don't know why guys can't decide what they really want from someone. I mean it's just a mean thing to lead someone to think something else is going on.

In fairness, you're talking about two different things there. If a guy can't decide what he wants, it could be for any number of complex reasons, just like when anyone can't decide what they want, we aren't totally rational beings and there's a whole lot going on in our sub and/or emotional consciouses (sp?) that we aren't fully aware of or don't understand, cut the guy a break, confusing times for him too.

If a guy is leading someone on (implies intention) then he does know what he wants and that's a totally different and, as you rightly say, mean thing to do.

BumbleB

This could be a little off topic ,but forget the hair flicking etc and all that stuff, those kind of signals are too elusive. The number one signal for a girl to be interested in you is when her posture changes to upright when you approach her. Thats why its really important to pay close attention to your surroundings when you walk into an establishment.

If youre a half decent looking bloke and your out on the town shift your attention from yourself to the surrounding area and observe ,you will see this happen quite frequently as its a totally unconcious response.,

princeofparma

BumbleB wrote: »

The number one signal for a girl to be interested in you is when her posture changes to upright when you approach her.

I think an even better signal is when a woman changes to a horizontal position.
A woman could allow you to kiss her, fondle and kiss her naked breasts, allow you to undress her until she is only wearing her knickers and still decide she might not be ready to have sex with you.You might be even having sex with a woman for 6 months and she still might not have made up her mind.

BumbleB

princeofparma wrote: »

and still decide she might not be ready to have sex with you.You might be even having sex with a woman for 6 months and she still might not have made up her mind.

What ? She might not have made up her mind whether she wants to have sex with you ?