Mother naked with a child.

metrovelvet

ash23 wrote: »

On another side note, I prefer my daughter to know what women look like naked. She sees me and occasionally my mother, my sisters etc naked or semi naked. We're all different shapes and sizes and I think it's good for her to know that women can also have saggy boobs, stretch marks, cellulite and wobbly bits, rather than just seeing air brushed images of models in magazines.

Would you think its important for sons to know what women really look like too?

Its interesting that this thread is about a mother's nudity because images of female nudity are far more public and available anyway - and I don't mean top shelf magazines, but museums, art books, film, etc.

ash23

metrovelvet wrote: »

Would you think its important for sons to know what women really look like too?

Its interesting that this thread is about a mother's nudity because images of female nudity are far more public and available anyway - and I don't mean top shelf magazines, but museums, art books, film, etc.

I don't have a boy so I suppose the answer to that is that I don't know. I think if she were a boy, I would probably be stopping prancing around naked in front of her about now. She is getting to an age where she is talking about sex, asking questions and starting to notice boys (although all in a fairly innocent way).

So if she were a boy, I think this age (7-8) would be the age I'd stop. However as he (my hypothetical son) got older, I'd probably encourage him to watch programs like "the sex education show" which is on CH4, to look at art etc.
I would want him to see that women come in all shapes and sizes but maybe not to see that his ma does

My ex was never comfortable being naked in front of our daughter so she has never seen a man naked. I don't think she's know what a penis was, even just the word would leave her stumped.

I should probably get a facts of life book soon. Oh lord, the joys of parenting!
:rolleyes:

axer

lil_missy wrote: »

Boys shouldn't see their mom naked after a certain age.

Why?

metrovelvet wrote: »

I think American pediatricians advise to stop at 3.

:eek: I would love to see that report. That is crazy. What is wrong with nudity? Here where I am in Germany at the moment children go with their parents to the naked saunas all the time. Nudity is only a big deal if you make it a big deal.

metrovelvet

axer wrote: »

Why?

:eek: I would love to see that report. That is crazy. What is wrong with nudity? Here where I am in Germany at the moment children go with their parents to the naked saunas all the time. Nudity is only a big deal if you make it a big deal.

I know its ridiculous. Americans have body neurosis, just look at how much plastic surgery we get.

When we are in France we go to the beach and everyone is topless.

silja

I am living in the USA right now and I haven't heard about the 3 year thing.

I agree it should be largely up to the child... I also think there is a difference between the child seeing me getting dressed or dashing from bathroom to bedroom (acceptable anytime, though if child seemed acutely embarassed, I'd try to avoid getting in such situations), and bathing with the child (which I would see as unacceptable around 5 years, maybe a little later for same sex children).

This discussion reminds me of a friend of my husband's (an Irish male) looking at my husband strangely when he said he was bathing our 4 months old daughter by both of them getting into the tub, naked! The guy expected my husband to wear swimming togs!!!

Davidth88

Good Lord , if this American pediatricians' report is real I am corrupting my 4.5 YO daughter.

I see no reason to make a fuss about nakedness .

I would feel different possibly when she is a little older , it's a shame really .

flowerific

What ever about peoples own kids seeing them naked. I don't like it when in the ladies gym parents of 7 and 8 year old boys have the kids changing in the ladies, as i do not feel comfortable with this. The gym I'm in allows up to 7yr old boys in the ladies changing rooms, but some of the boys look older.
Are women comfortable with their 7 year old boys seeing other naked womens bodies?

axer

flowerific wrote: »

Are women comfortable with their 7 year old boys seeing other naked womens bodies?

Why should there be a problem with it? Is nakedness dirty or something? Or is it just because it is blown out of proportion due to our Irish "cover it up" attitude?

metrovelvet

Irish women are paritcularly self concious about their nudity. Ive been in American changing rooms, Irish changing rooms, french beaches and turkish hammams. And of all of them, the Irish changing room is the most theatrical display of modesty I have every witnessed.

Gyalist

My son would have regularly seen me and his mother naked until he was seven - when he finally started to sleep in his own room. Nudity is only a problem if the parents make it a problem.

I wouldn't take the work of American child psychologists as gospel either. After all, Corn Flakes was invented to reduce the incidence of masturbation and sexual thoughts in young boys!

ATMW

My two daughters, who are both in their late teens now regularly see me nude walking from the bathroom to the bedroom or getting dressed in the morning and it never occurred to me not to do this. (My mother used do it in our house when I was growing up, and continued to do so even when she was in her eighties and we were visiting). On the rare occassions when it is warm enough to do so I have been known to go about the house starkers- one of them rolls her eyes up to heaven, but then she often does this about the clothes I wear!, the other doesn't mind at all and will happily chat away. I wouldn't do this if they had friends in the house. They used see my husband naked when they were small, but we both felt that it was probably best for him to cover up when they got older, the other day one of them accidently saw him naked and wasn't bothered--which I think is a good thing. I know that there are people out there that think the above is not right, but all I can say is that that has not been my experience.

Fittle

My 8 yr old son sees me naked regularly, running from the bathroom to the bedroom etc, and he hasn't yet started to get 'shy' about it.

I however, am VERY conscious that as a 15yr old pubescent, he will remember the image of his mammy naked:eek:....so for my part, I'm much more conscious of covering up around him just lately.:D

ATMW

I do sometimes wonder what I would have done if I had had boys. I think I would have been more circumspect, but I can't see that I would have adopted a "better to die than let your son see you nude" attitude. If I were fittle I think that I would carry on letting my son seeing you naked until he started complaining. The funny thing is that I can be quite shy changing at swimming pools etc, but it is sort of bred into me that it is okay for your family to see you naked.

Jinxi

I think that it is really important for children to see their parents naked, no matter what age or sex they are. It makes it less taboo, and lets kids know that tv bodies naked is not reflected in real life.
People who are hyper vigilant about being never being naked around their make children fell like the human body is something to be ashamed about, or something that should be kept secret. Not good for health body image, healthy sexual life, or child protection.
If your kids begin to get "aw mum/dad" about it, thats just a developmental stage. I bet they show the same attitude when you make jokes to their friends or try to buy them clothes.
If they were truely embarrassed they would leave the room.

MrsA

Our almost 3 year old and almost 2 year old see both myself and my husband naked all the time.

We will cover up in front of them if and when they ask us to.

It would not be any different if we had a daughter.

up for anything

I hadn't given a thought to this subject in years. My kids see me naked all the time. Well, not quite all the time but if they walk in while I'm getting dressed or pre-school run when I'm racing round the house like a mad thing trying to remember where I shrugged off my bra the night before. I see them naked too. In fact, I've even been brought in a number of times to adjudicate as to whether No. 1 son has a pubic hair or not. Sadly he hasn't. Nakedness is all in the mind.

The Cool

With me and my mother it's the opposite way round: she's much shyer about it than I am. I went to boarding school so spent 6 years getting changed in front of my 5 dormmates and whoever else happened to be in the dorm at the time. At 21, I'll now happily strip off in front of my mother, say if I'm trying on a new dress for her or something, but her natural reaction is to look away or leave the room. She'll ask me if I'm decent before entering the room, I'll tell her it doesn't matter if I am or not!

I'm the same with changing in front of my sister, but only now that she's in her midteens and knows it's normal to have boobs, etc. She's now in boarding school so she's not as shy about stripping down to underwear. I think it's important as a developing 14 year old to see that what she's developing is normal.

minichunkies

The Cool wrote: »

I think it's important as a developing 14 year old to see that what she's developing is normal.

and shexy!

Nevyn

Ray Foley banned and banished, the parenting forum has a zero tolerance policy for trolls.

kfod

My mam and dad have always been happy to leave the bathroom door open when showering / going to the loo etc so I grew up seeing them naked and was never bothered by it, infact some of the best teenage conversations I had with my mam was when i was scrubbing her back for her while she took a bath. Having said that, me and my siblings all locked the door when using the bathroom.


Now I have my own kids I'm the same, It's grand except for when I'm go to the toilet and my young fella (18months) comes in and tries to grab the willy off me, trying to shuffle around the toilet out of his reach can be awkward, and stopping mid flow doesn't always happen!

Oh well, I guess he will grow out of it

I think it is important for kids to see regular bodies as a balance to those portrayed in the media etc. I am comfortable in my skin due to my upbringing and I'll probably do the same as my parents and I figure the kids will start to lock the doors when they want to. No doubt they will give out to me the same way I gave / give out to my father when I open the bathroom door to see him sitting there stinking the place out.

up for anything

There may also come a time for a lot of people where they have to care for one or other of their parents or even both.

How is a parent who has never been comfortable with her own or her children's nudity going to react to having to attend to their own parent's bodily functions/bath? How are her children going to react to having to care for her/him in their turn?

Maybe it will be a case of shuffling them off into a home before they have to change an adult pad.

snuggles09

both myself and my partner have no problem in being naked around our daughters..our eldest is 8 and i'm noticing now she is telling me to shut the door when she's in the bath and wrapping the towel around her before she comes out..because of this we give her her space as she's starting to grow up and it's obvious she's not very comfortable around us now when totally naked (she's ok though one she puts her underwear on) but she doesnt mind us being naked around her at all..we dont stroll around naked, just if we're getting changed or one of us is in the bath she comes in and sits on the loo and plays eye spy with us..my 2 younger ones are allergic to their clothes i swear they run around naked all the time..as long as we're not making them uncomfortable i dont see any problem with it at all

when i was growing up my mam would stroll around upstairs when out of the shower with nothing on her for ages..she was the same around my older brother and we never batted an eyelid..my dad was never naked around me..he always got very embarrassed but he's in his 60s now so a different generation

stovelid

Have never really covered up for the kids (two boys) until now but I'd usually throw on bottoms around my 2.5 year old as he's started to point and laugh at it recently. He doesn't really seem to show the same interest in his mum's body so perhaps it's the "same body" thing mentioned earlier in the thread.

That said, If I have to go in to him during the night to bring a drink or whatever, I wouldn't bother dressing and I still let him come into the toilet if I'm there as he kicks up a fuss if I lock the door and also I don't mind him seeing me doing that as we starting to toilet-train him.

Personally I would feel uncomfortable strolling around naked in front of my kids at, say, 7 or 8 years old unless it's in the context of a changing room or normal undressing . I'm far from prudish but it's just the way I feel.

Mink

My dad always slept naked as did one of my sisters. Both of them had absolutely no compunctions about walking around upstairs in the nip. Me, my other sister & my mam opt'd for dressing gowns. But it never bothered me & I'd often walk into bathroom, even til I was 12 ('m female) to brush my teeth & my dad would be in the bath. But it was no big deal, didn't pay any attention. He would never walk in on me though as I was private about myself, being a tween and all.

I agree with a poster earlier that it's good to be exposed to nudity in a comfortable environment as I saw my sisters & mam were all different shapes & sizes & I was aware of what a penis was at least, it didn't shock me later on!

My sister & her husband sleep in the nip & their daughter does too. When they all come to stay with me they bring their PJ's though. When my niece was very little she saw her dad walking around and said "Daddy! You've got a poo hanging out!"

Anyway, I'm very comfortable with nudity if the occasion calls for it, communal showers, changing in front of friends or female family etc. I had my sister pose nude for some paintings & other people were so shocked that I saw my sister naked. I thought they were being ridiculous, they weren't sexualised paintings, and it's just my sis for feck's sake.

I think the less prudish we can be the better, but also stick with what's comfortable for the individual child & parent. Although I didn't mind my dad in the nip, he'd forget when I had friends over & he'd just waltz out down the stairs to the bathroom. My friends were horrified & it was very embarrassing so that part was not good! In fact my OH saw him in the nip within us being together only 2 weeks!