Some funnies

patmac

A professor at Texas A&M University was giving a lecture on the
supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in
ghosts ??"

About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe, do any of you think
you have seen a ghost ??"

About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously.

Has anyone here ever talked to or touched a ghost ?"

About 3 students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further....Have any of
you ever made love to a ghost ?"

Way in the back, Abdul raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says, "Son, in all the years I've
been giving this lecture, no-one has ever claimed to have made love to a
ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The big student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up
to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So Abdul, tell
us what it's like to have sex with a ghost !!"

Abdul replied, "Ah sorry. From way back there, I thought you said 'Goats'
!!"

---

Holiday in China

While on holiday in China a guy is sexually promiscuous, not using a condom
all the time he's there.
A week after arriving back home, he wakes one morning to find his penis
covered by dark purple lumps.
Horrified he immediately goes to see his doctor.
The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests
and tells the guy to come back in two days for the results.
When he returns the doctor tells him, I've got bad news for you, you've
contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here - we know
very little about it.'
The man says ' Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc '. The
doctor answers, 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to
amputate your penis.'
The man screams in horror, 'Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.'
The doctor replies, 'Fair enough, do that if you want. But surgery is your
only choice.'
So the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, hoping he'll know more about the
disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims,
' Ah yes. Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease .'
The guy replies, 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My
doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!'
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. 'Stupid western docttah,
always want opawate. Make more money dat way. I say - no need amputate!'
' Oh, Thank God! ' the man replies.
'Yes,' continues the Chinese doctor, 'wait two weeks. Faw off by itself!'