Weak Handshakes

Latchy

This right hand of mine here ( points at left hand ) has shook the hand of a president

President McAleese

DyldeBrill

uugh I hate weak handshakes

nothing worse than a handshake that is nearly breaking your hand either

longshanks

i like when you shake hands with an auld fella and he has those big, cold, tough-skinned hands. auld fellas are cool like that, have the correct pressure sorted too

mink_man

longshanks wrote: »

i like when you shake hands with an auld fella and he has those big, cold, tough-skinned hands. auld fellas are cool like that, have the correct pressure sorted too

you sure you on about his hand on your hand or his hand somewhere else? :P

scientific1982

Me too. I dont want any physical contact with strangers tbh. Could we not just bow like in Japan.

nkay1985

Yeah good point, well made OP. Someone with a bad handshake immediately goes down in my opinion. Gerry Adams - now there's a man with a good handshake.

monkeyfudge

The Agogo wrote: »

aw no handcrushers are just as bad. You can tell that somebody just said to them in their early life: "a man is judged by his handshake" So all they do now is give bonecrushers.

Yeah. I'd judge these twats far more harshly... particularly as I suffer from arthritis.

_Kaiser_

Just to throw a new element into the mix...

What about those of us that are left-handed (like me!), or people who maybe have a disability so they don't have as much power/use of their hands - or who have arthritus as Monkeyfudge points out.

Are they all dodgy, troublemaking wasters too? :rolleyes:

fakearms123

I shake hands will employers like a black man, it has several movements and hand shifts, its very complicated and its usually a waste of about 3 minutes but GOD DAMN I look cool when I do it! :cool:

TouchingVirus

Kaiser2000 wrote: »

Just to throw a new element into the mix...

What about those of us that are left-handed (like me!), or people who maybe have a disability so they don't have as much power/use of their hands - or who have arthritus as Monkeyfudge points out.

Are they all dodgy, troublemaking wasters too? :rolleyes:

Don't offer your hand for a handshake, and if the other person does say your arthritis is kicking up?

Sykk

Arrrghh this is something I can agree with down to a T.

Weak handshakes make me feel sick. Especially the ones with cold hands it feels like you've just squeezed the remaining life out of a dying fish.

pickarooney

The Agogo wrote: »

I'm not gonna lie. I spent a bit of time trying to pun a slag for your username, but I failed.

A pun on fonecrusher1 in a thread about bonecrusher handshakes... toughie.

The one thing worse than a weak or sweaty handshake is the refusal to shake hands. Got this a couple of weeks back from two separate guys who, for religious reasons refused to shake my OH's hand, although neither they nor their wives had any problem shaking mine. I can respect your traditions but only if they're not incredibly stupid and downright insulting.

Sofiztikated

Used to work with a manager that didn't know his own strength. If you shook hands with him, you could be looking at a dislocated shoulder! Dead nice guy though, and knew his stuff.

Another one that annoys me is when someone just presents their hand, with a bit of a flop, as if i'm going to bow, and kiss the ring/hand.

Not likely, you're getting a gripped handshake, not too much pressure, but enough to let you know what I think of your attempt at a shake.

Like it or not, you do get judged on your handshake, and no matter what your reasons behind a limp handshake (leftie, arthritis etc) you will be seen as inferior.

Just wondering though, do people with vice like handshakes see everyone else as limpwrists? Or are they aware of their crushing grip?

digme

starbelgrade wrote: »

What the f*ck is up them?

I went to meet a new client today & offered a handshake, as I always do in such circumstances, only to be met with a handshake weaker than a 20 day old piece of lettuce.

I took an instant dislike to the man. To be honset, I'd prefer a handcrusher.

I think they should teach people how to shake hands properly in school - it's a social faux pas not to know how to shake hands like a normal person.

maybe your dick didn't want to shake hands and felt you over used it all those years and now just wants some pussy?

starbelgrade

digme wrote: »

maybe your dick didn't want to shake hands and felt you over used it all those years and now just wants some pussy?

Are you always this drunk so early in the morning?

Ruu_Old

Strong handshake and sometimes even a hard slap on the back to see how they can handle it!

Quandary

Was at the funeral of a relative not so long ago - after the 300th handshake you're just begging for the limp fishes!

In normal business encounters though, a reasonably firm handshake is warranted imo. We'll just have to universally agree on what force a reasonably firm handshake should exert .

digme

starbelgrade wrote: »

Are you always this drunk so early in the morning?

ssshhh im not your dick

monkeyfudge

TouchingVirus wrote: »

Don't offer your hand for a handshake, and if the other person does say your arthritis is kicking up?

Normal handshakes are fine. It's the twats who use a handshake in some misguided attempt to cover up for their inadequacies that are a problem. I've told many a sales rep to f*ck off for trying to pull that sh*t.

cardio,shoot me

Anyone else a fan of the double hand clasp?
i go in on a firm handshake then bring the other one around the other side and do a firm clasp, not bone crushing, but a sincere gesture, gets em every time.....

starbelgrade

cardio,shoot me wrote: »

Anyone else a fan of the double hand clasp?
i go in on a firm handshake then bring the other one around the other side and do a firm clasp, not bone crushing, but a sincere gesture, gets em every time.....

No - it's creepy.

monkeyfudge

Caressing the inside of their wrist with your index finger. Now that's creepy.

davybaby

aaronh007 wrote: »

Its a very strange thing, limp almost lifeless handshake...similar to a fish...

like this

http://vedru24.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/limp-handshake.jpg

I sometimes wonder what it would be like if two limp handshakers were to shake hands

I suspect limp handshakers dont like shaking hands in the first place... they'd probably just stand there gawking at each othe like the pair of plebs they are !

monkeyfudge

Oh and what's with people with deformities insisting on using the deformed limb to shake hands with you...? Like if they have a tiny withered arm or an extra thumb.. they must get a kick out of watching you try not to be freaked out as that would be rude.

My name is URL

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Oh and what's with people with deformities insisting on using the deformed limb to shake hands with you...? Like if they have a tiny withered arm or an extra thumb.. they must get a kick out of watching you try not to be freaked out as that would be rude.

Ah, the Beadle they call it.. you were probably the subject of a candid camera prank just beforehand

Redisle

Those weak handshake givers really need to get themselves some of these!

tomo1

i never could understand why people bother shaking your hand , if they were going to give ya the sloppy weak pathetic efforts ive met,

then i got arthritus in my hands and i dread meeting people who give hearty hand shakes,

so think next time your about to squeez someone into pain

:eek:

PanchoVilla

First of all, it's a fúcking handshake. Anyone who judges a person solely on their handshake needs to reevaluate their life. Secondly, anyone who deliberately tries to crush another person's hand when greeting them has serious issues. These people usually turn out to be obnoxious, overbearing **** who probably beat their wives. Just saying.

Edit: I personally prefer the bro fist or knuckle bump but it never really caught on in this country.

sonic85

10 pages about handshakes?

Kintarō Hattori

sonic85 wrote: »

10 pages about handshakes?

It's a strange world.