That goddamn pregnancy thaaang...

Novella

I have been told many, many times by my mum that if I ever got pregnant (well not ever, but y'know, now or in a situation where I couldn't support myself and the baby) that she would have absolutely nothing to do with it. She has always said to me, since I was pretty young, not to ever bring anything like that to her doorstep 'cause she would not be supportive.

So, what did I do? I got pregnant when I was seventeen... and I spent weeks worrying about how I was gonna tell her, freaking out, crying, all the usual stuff. Then I had a miscarriage and she never found out.

I had been planning on keeping the baby though... and if I got pregnant now, yeah, I imagine I'd keep the baby. I'm pro-choice but I know I could never have an abortion myself, and the thoughts of adoption? Well, having a little piece of me somewhere in the world that I wasn't myself looking after, that'd kill me.

EverybodyLies

What would your parents do? Kick me out. No kidding. I have been told numerous times that if I arrived home pregnant I would have to leave. :eek: As my mum says "If you're old enough to be off doing that, you're old enough to deal with the consequences". 'Tis fair enough tbh. They've already done the screaming baby, 2 AM feeding thing. Put me off getting pregnant anyway.

How would you react? Freak out! Probably do a lot of crying. And then terrify myself about the childbirth :P

Richard Cranium

Colm! wrote: »

It can't happen. It won't happen. And if something like this ever happens, then goddamn it, then I'll have failed at life.

I don't think so (in general, I'm not telling you that your opinion is wrong). Just because it's not ideal doesn't mean that it's a failure, per se. Raising a child seems like a decent feather in the cap to me, as far as life achievements go.

I want children. If it so happened that a child arrived before the mother and I were ready then it would still be a (fairly) positive thing in my life. That said, I think it's impossible to know how one would react to such a situation, all I know is- I would never, ever allow my child (zygote, foetus, or what-have-you) to be terminated. While a woman may have the right to chose (albeit not yet in Ireland), a man should have the right to veto. It's just too grave a decision for the father not to have a voice.

Colm!

Pygmalion wrote: »

You were a woman a few months ago?

No, I'm saying that a few months ago, I could gotten involved in a series of events that would cause the "I'm pregnant and its yours" situation. I backed off.

Ginja Ninja

Colm! wrote: »

I'll have failed at life.

unless your dead,there's no such thing as failing life.

it's definitely life changing,but getting[someone] pregnant young doesn't mean you've failed or they've ruined their life,it's a small bump on the road.It happens to the best of people at the worst of times,but don't jdge someone on it dude

QueenOfLeon

illiop wrote: »

Also, because I don't really agree with having more than one biological child I'd like to wait till I can really enjoy it and have it with someone I really love.

I'm curious...if you don't mind me asking, why?

illiop wrote: »

I super paranoid about getting pregnant though. People don't seem to realise how easily it happens! You don't even need to have sex and so many boys (and girls, but obviously that doesn't affect me so much) don't seem to get that. Girls are the same though, some of my friends are so irresponsible with their pills too sometimes I wonder why they're even on it

Another thing the Irish education system fails on but we probably shouldn't get into that :rolleyes::p From living with a Canadian girl last year and finding out what they were taught in sex ed, god the Irish are so naiive! The pill, how its taken, side effects, precautions, etc etc etc should be at least touched on but I don't think I ever heard a teacher utter the words "contraceptive pill" in school.

Richard Cranium

QueenOfLeon wrote: »

Another thing the Irish education system fails on but we probably shouldn't get into that :rolleyes::p From living with a Canadian girl last year and finding out what they were taught in sex ed, god the Irish are so naiive! The pill, how its taken, side effects, precautions, etc etc etc should be at least touched on but I don't think I ever heard a teacher utter the words "contraceptive pill" in school.

When I was in 2nd or 3rd year we had a (that is, the only one in my 6 years of secondary education) real sex ed. class. It was given off the cuff by a young female sub teacher in her early 20s (it should also be noted here that I went to an all-boys school, which makes her effort all the more laudable). She touched on different forms of contraception, STIs/STDs, and the emotional effects of sexual intimacy that might not be so obvious to a naive (very) young man. It was a perfect example of how all of that should be done in schools. The only thing was that it was only 40 minutes in 6 years, and possibly a bit premature for a bunch of 14 and 15 year olds. That said, maybe she knew what she was doing- that it was now or never.

It really put the rest of the teachers to shame.

QueenOfLeon

Mmmm, that age is immature but at least some of it might still sink in. Its funny how we see the stereotype of the whole condom on banana sex ed american class, but thats some of whats taught, and like....I'm sure theres people that this could help! My friend was saying how they were all brought up in front of the class one by one to put a condom on a banana (girls and boys) and how it was embarrassing but at least they know how to do it

Richard Cranium

Exactly yeah. It would be much worse being embarrassed in front of a potential sexual partner by not knowing how to put one on.

Quick question to any teachers here:
Is sex ed any different (that is, any better) in VECs, or any other non-Catholic secondary school?

challengemaster

On a side note....STi's are awesome.



Sex ed over here will always be a joke while schools are still mainly religious.

The morning after pill was freely available (and being advertised a LOT) at V festival. Can't ever imagine Oxegen having the same, tbh.

Grindylow

Richard Cranium wrote: »

Exactly yeah. It would be much worse being embarrassed in front of a potential sexual partner by not knowing how to put one on.

Quick question to any teachers here:
Is sex ed any different (that is, any better) in VECs, or any other non-Catholic secondary school?

I'm in 6th year now and it's a non religious school. We do Religion twice a week in 5th and 6th year but we never actually DO religion. We talk about Sex/Drugs etc freely, and the teacher's very.. educational? :P She actually gets proper stuck into it, STD's, STI's, Pregnancy, etc.

ironictoaster

QueenOfLeon wrote: »

I'm curious...if you don't mind me asking, why?



Another thing the Irish education system fails on but we probably shouldn't get into that :rolleyes::p From living with a Canadian girl last year and finding out what they were taught in sex ed, god the Irish are so naiive! The pill, how its taken, side effects, precautions, etc etc etc should be at least touched on but I don't think I ever heard a teacher utter the words "contraceptive pill" in school.

I remember someone asked about the pill in primary school, she instantly said that is not on the programme as if it wasn't relevant...

XxMCRxBabyxX

Noel2k9 wrote: »

I'm in 6th year now and it's a non religious school. We do Religion twice a week in 5th and 6th year but we never actually DO religion. We talk about Sex/Drugs etc freely, and the teacher's very.. educational? :P She actually gets proper stuck into it, STD's, STI's, Pregnancy, etc.

We had the same thing in our Religious school! Religion lesson's rarely had anything to do with religion!

Novella

challengemaster wrote: »

Sex ed over here will always be a joke while schools are still mainly religious.

The morning after pill was freely available (and being advertised a LOT) at V festival. Can't ever imagine Oxegen having the same, tbh.

Is there not a campaign atm to make the morning after pill available over the counter here? I thought I read that there was!

QueenOfLeon

Noel2k9 wrote: »

I'm in 6th year now and it's a non religious school. We do Religion twice a week in 5th and 6th year but we never actually DO religion. We talk about Sex/Drugs etc freely, and the teacher's very.. educational? :P She actually gets proper stuck into it, STD's, STI's, Pregnancy, etc.

Is it just the facts? Or do ye actually talk about exactly what can get you pregnant (get rid of all the stupid myths), ways to prevent it (apart from OMG DON'T HAVE SEX!), how to cope if it happened?

XxMCRxBabyxX

Novella wrote: »

Is there not a campaign atm to make the morning after pill available over the counter here? I thought I read that there was!

Afaik there is, especially after one girl was refused it by a dr due to religious beliefs

XxMCRxBabyxX

QueenOfLeon wrote: »

Is it just the facts? Or do ye actually talk about exactly what can get you pregnant (get rid of all the stupid myths), ways to prevent it (apart from OMG DON'T HAVE SEX!), how to cope if it happened?

For us we got all that info. Our teachers were really good about all that

QueenOfLeon

Is the pill free (or cheaper?) in England out of interest?

Wolfe Tone

Well if I had a girlfriend and she got pregnant I would sh!t myself.
Would I drop out of college? Would I fcuk. Would shackle myself with a load of debt though. And if she wanted an abortion? I would do everything in my power to stop it. She could leave me solely with the kid if needs be.

My folks would be apocalyptic. They would come around though.

Grindylow

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

We had the same thing in our Religious school! Religion lesson's rarely had anything to do with religion!

Yeah, it's a great religion class! :P

QueenOfLeon wrote: »

Is it just the facts? Or do ye actually talk about exactly what can get you pregnant (get rid of all the stupid myths), ways to prevent it (apart from OMG DON'T HAVE SEX!), how to cope if it happened?

Nope, we haven't got that far yet, she's only on about sperm getting into the wimmins so far, and how long it lasts in there/even if its outside the vagina women can still get pregnant, etc!

illiop

Richard Cranium wrote: »

Quick question to any teachers here:
Is sex ed any different (that is, any better) in VECs, or any other non-Catholic secondary school?

I'm not a teacher but I went to a protestent primary and secondary school. We got known in primary school (I've heard they do it know though) and I don't remember any in secondary school either. We asked our SPHE teacher about it once but she said that it was inapropriate in a mixed school.:rolleyes: As far as I know she herself was actually a catholic, if that makes any difference though.

QueenOfLeon wrote:

I'm curious...if you don't mind me asking, why?

It kinda started when I came across the Voluntery Human Exticntion Movement. I liked the basic idea: the world is ridiculously over-populated and we need to do something about it. But at the same time I understand that it is a basic human instinct and right (though the latter, I feel, is debatable) to pass on your genes. But surely one is enough, if everyone only had one child then surely the population would shrink back to a number the earth could handle, without the misery of famine etc.

There is no need for anyone, in a developed society at least, to have more than one child anyway. Fair enough if you live in a poverty stricken country with a very high infant mortality rate but not here. Lots of people say that if a child has siblings they are less likely to be spoilt or they will have better social skills etc. but the idea that someone would have another child because they are lacking in parental skills is ridiculous. One of my pet hates. There are also so many needy children in the world that people could give better lives to if they would like a larger family, it's what I intend to do.

Anywho, hadn't expected that to be so long or rant-like!:o

Wolfe Tone

Only having one child is daft. Selfish even. Just think about when you get old, all the responsibility will be left on one child, with no siblings. Secondly, the world is no where near overflow point, Ireland certainly aint.

high heels

QueenOfLeon wrote: »

Is the pill free (or cheaper?) in England out of interest?

In the UK for prescriptions there is a flat rate for £7:50 on all drugs..


But
The following items are supplied free of charge:

• Medication administered at a hospital or an NHS walk-in centre.
• Prescribed contraceptives.
• Medication personally administered by a GP.
• Medication supplied at a hospital or primary care trust (PCT) clinic for the treatment of a sexually transmitted infection or tuberculosis.

Richard Cranium

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

Only having one child is daft. Selfish even. Just think about when you get old, all the responsibility will be left on one child, with no siblings. Secondly, the world is no where near overflow point, Ireland certainly aint.

Parts of Africa and South-East Asia are though (no to mention China). I don't think it's selfish to have one child either- if you don't mind me saying, your attitude to child-rearing seems quite morbid! There's no shame in seeking help, as an only child, in looking after elderly parents too.

QueenOfLeon

illiop wrote: »

I super paranoid about getting pregnant though. People don't seem to realise how easily it happens! You don't even need to have sex and so many boys (and girls, but obviously that doesn't affect me so much) don't seem to get that. Girls are the same though, some of my friends are so irresponsible with their pills too sometimes I wonder why they're even on it

Just something else I was thinking of on this...

Something that used to be said in school a lot among girls was that a guy would be insulted if you asked him to wear a condom. Wtf?! Such a ridiculous thing to be going around. I'd be a lot more than insulted if I found out that I was pregnant! He should consider himself lucky to be getting some, and not give a frick what he has to wear! :P

illiop

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

Only having one child is daft. Selfish even. Just think about when you get old, all the responsibility will be left on one child, with no siblings. Secondly, the world is no where near overflow point, Ireland certainly aint.

Well tbh I can't debate the overflow point thing because we don't really know what the worlds overflow point is, but considering how fast the population has risen in the last couple of hundred years I'd imagine we must be closing in on it.

But as for it being selfish, do you not think it's selfish that you would expect your child to look after you in your old age?? I mean, I will look after my parents if they do have the money and I do, but really it's not my fault if they haven't prepared for their future and my children (I plan on adopting or at least fostering) will certainly be more important than my parents, no matter how much I love them.

Wolfe Tone

Richard Cranium wrote: »

Parts of Africa and South-East Asia are though (no to mention China). I don't think it's selfish to have one child either- if you don't mind me saying, your attitude to child-rearing seems quite morbid! There's no shame in seeking help, as an only child, in looking after elderly parents too.

They are not ALLOWED in China.

I want at least 2 kids, with at least one lad. Best environment for a kid to be raised is with siblings I feel.

illiop

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

They are not ALLOWED in China.

I want at least 2 kids, with at least one lad. Best environment for a kid to be raised is with siblings I feel.

It's only completely banned in some parts, mostly it's a tax thing and apperently there are plenty of ways arounds it.

But why do feel that? That's what I don't understand...

sock puppet

QueenOfLeon wrote: »

Is it just the facts? Or do ye actually talk about exactly what can get you pregnant (get rid of all the stupid myths), ways to prevent it (apart from OMG DON'T HAVE SEX!), how to cope if it happened?

We got an alright sex ed. Maybe it's just religious schools that don't really teach it? It does cover some important stuff. Though how anyone can still believe you can get pregnant from a toilet seat or that you can't get pregnant if it's your first time is beyond me sex ed or no sex ed.

illiop wrote: »

It kinda started when I came across the Voluntery Human Exticntion Movement. I liked the basic idea: the world is ridiculously over-populated and we need to do something about it. But at the same time I understand that it is a basic human instinct and right (though the latter, I feel, is debatable) to pass on your genes. But surely one is enough, if everyone only had one child then surely the population would shrink back to a number the earth could handle, without the misery of famine etc.

There is no need for anyone, in a developed society at least, to have more than one child anyway. Fair enough if you live in a poverty stricken country with a very high infant mortality rate but not here. Lots of people say that if a child has siblings they are less likely to be spoilt or they will have better social skills etc. but the idea that someone would have another child because they are lacking in parental skills is ridiculous. One of my pet hates. There are also so many needy children in the world that people could give better lives to if they would like a larger family, it's what I intend to do.

Anywho, hadn't expected that to be so long or rant-like!:o

Going OT here but if everyone in Ireland decided to only have one child the result would be economic ruin and eventually famine if it continued long enough. When workers retire they need to be replaced. As a country we'd need to adopt 10s of thousands of children a year to ensure any kind of stability as immigration isn't a solution either.

Also Ireland's total fertility rate is about 2.0 now I think so we're not going to see any increase in our population for the foreseeable future.

sock puppet

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

They are not ALLOWED in China.

I want at least 2 kids, with at least one lad. Best environment for a kid to be raised is with siblings I feel.

China still has a fertility rate of 1.8. It's not strictly enforced nor does it apply to everyone there.